Everyone would later agree that literally everything about the proposal attempts could've gone better, though few mistakes quite compared to the heaving, tumorous mass of fruit and terrible poetry looming over the lovers and their co-conspirators.
"Wait," Mrs. Cake said to Spike and Discord. "So you two were orchestrating a proposal? That's what I was doing!"
"Who were you proposing to?" said Discord.
"Discord!" cried Apple Bloom.
"Me!?"
"Will you snap that thing back to normal already?" said Spike.
Discord crossed his arms. "Well, I was going to, but if that's how you plan on thanking me for it, maybe I won't."
"I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" the applebomination chanted from at least four mouths, one of which was on an elbow.
Scootaloo winced. "Uh, could you do something? I'm pretty sure that thing is in pain."
"Hmm..." Discord stroked his goatee in thought. "Well, I suppose I can stone two krill with one bird, or however that goes." He snapped, but the pomaceous horror remained. Instead, a light flashed next to Discord himself, revealing a hovering—
"Fluttershy?" the others chorused.
Once she blinked away her surprise, she took one look at the fused apples, then turned to Discord with a flat look. "Discord."
"No, no, no. We're not doing the name thing again. Now then:" Discord took Fluttershy's forehoof in paw and talon and got down on one scaly knee. "Fluttershy. You are the last thing I ever expected to value more than myself or my self-satisfaction. You have exposed me to alien mindsets, beliefs, and sensations beyond my wildest imaginings and forced my mind into a state that could comprehend them. You saved me from petrification, dissolution, and holiday doldrums. If you had asked me ten years ago if I thought the concept of kindness deserved even a single attosecond of consideration, I wouldn't have been able to answer you, because I was a statue at the time."
"Is he—?"
"Are you—?"
"Should we—?"
All three questions got somewhat stunned nods from the other onlookers.
Discord looked deep into Fluttershy's eyes, gestured towards his horrific creation, and said, "Fluttershy Poseysfilly, will you accept this giant mutant apple and make me the happiest draconequus in existence?"
"I... I..." Fluttershy sniffed, wiping at her eyes with her free foreleg. "How did you know?"
"Come now, you didn't think Zecora was the only one keeping an eye on you during that whole body swap debacle, do you? I figured there were even odds of Angel's little slip being a jab, the truth, or both." He gave a lopsided grin. "Why not take the risk?"
There was silence for a few moments, save for the continuing ululations of the amalgamapple. The lopsided grin came loose and swung back and forth on Discord's muzzle. But then, quiet enough that it was almost lost against Big Mac's noble attempts at a limerick, Fluttershy said, "Will you help me accept the engagement gift?"
"Oh! I was just using what was available, but..." Almost shyly, Discord said, "You want me to do the thing? Here?"
Fluttershy's whole face went rosy, but she nodded.
"Um, there are children present," said Mrs. Cake.
Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "I live on a farm."
Scootaloo shrugged her wings. "My parents just consider that another part of biology."
"Same with Twilight," said Spike.
Sweetie Belle shuddered. "Rarity gave me a very detailed talk the day we got our cutie marks."
Discord cleared his throat and booped Fluttershy in the snoot. She developed slit-pupiled eyes, fluffy ears, and bat wings and promptly pounced on the apple. Its horrified screams were actually less obnoxious than the other sounds it had been making. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves."
To be fair, the noisy slurping and rapturous cries of "Yes! Yes! Yes!" still made every parent in a five-block radius cover their foals' ears.
Mrs. Cake facehoofed. "It's a good thing Carrot took the twins to visit their grandmother today."
"And for the record, that is how you ask for a pony's hoof in..." Discord trailed off when he realized his audience was two ponies smaller than he'd anticipated.
Apple Bloom looked around the area. "Where're Big Mac an' Sugar Belle?"
"They snuck off earlier," said Sweetie Belle. "They were heading for Sweet Apple Acres."
"And none of you stopped them? Hmph. Well, they may have missed my engagement, but I won't be nearly so inconsiderate." Discord raised his eagle talons, poised to snap, but froze as an irritated hiss sounded from behind him. "Er, that is..." He cleared his throat and made shooing motions. "You can all go on ahead."
Mrs. Cake gave her best maternal nod of approval. "Good, you're already learning."
Twilight sighed and covered her face with a wing. That seemed like a reasonable place to start. She'd keep it up for just a little bit longer.
Twenty years seemed reasonable.
"In my defense," said Discord, "I just as surprised as you are."
She peeked out at him between her pinions. Well, not so much peeked as glared. "Your magic was already behaving in ways you hadn't anticipated. Why did you think adding yet another layer of chaos magic to the mix would help matters?"
He just smirked. "Bold of you to assume I was thinking about that at all."
"Yeah. Yeah, I guess."
"I do appreciate you still agreeing to be my best mare."
"You're just lucky I kept Rarity from stabbing you with every needle she had when she had to redesign the wedding gown from the ground up on the day of the—" Twilight went silent as the songbird choir began singing the Wedding March.
And down the aisle came Fluttershy, no two limbs alike, including her mismatched antennae. A bellyfull of chaos-infused apple juice did that to a pony, after all.
But Twilight had to admit, happy as Fluttershy was, she was still as beautiful as Cadence on her wedding day.
You have set a new standard for weird here.
Well... that's... a thing... which happened...
So that’s three proposals made and accepted on that day...
Gym “They snuck in a LyraBon during the initial apple panic.” Quirk
First came here before the new scene,
Nice story in total! And great new scene!
----
And the replies!
Discord's mind has been completely warped by Fluttershy. Discord may be Lord of Chaos, but now she's the Queen.
Wait... Chaos... her cutie mark is butterflies. Because of course it is. Shes's the quiet one. Discord is the loud obvious in your face chaos, but Fluttershy? She's the flapping butterfly that raises storms and the whisper in the quantum foam. She vanishes if you look at her, but her voice is everywhere if you're quiet enough to listen.
And, on a mundane front, she now actually can vanish by hiding behind herself like she's wanted to do all these years.
Hehehe...the ascension to being a draconequus couldn't be anything else. And what's worse for Twilight, there is NO WAY replicating any or all parts of that scenario will ever work again. It IS chaos magic after all. The biggest rule is you can't do anything the same way twice.
"Fluttershy had her omnipotence thrust upon her by an unfortunate accident involving an irrational apple abomination, a liquid lunch, and a couple of wedding proposals. The precise details of the accident are not important because no one has ever managed to duplicate the exact circumstances under which it happened. Though many ponies have ended up looking very silly, or near dead, or more usually both, trying."
For the record, Fluttershy marrying Discord and ascending to draconequushood was already my headcanon before you posted this. Because "Twilight will not outlive her friends" and you've probably heard most of the rest. (The Distant Finale josses some individual scenes for Rainbow Dash and Applejack, but not the methods themselves)
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And the fact that at least half of those responses are definitely true (if anyone is in a position to contact Bindi Irwin, we can bring it up to three-quarters)
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I have her as the Draconequus of Nature, because the innate chaos of proper nature is most of the reason Fluttercord works in the first place.
"Princess Celestia, we think..." Twilight Sparkle considered her words and tried some new ones. "Technically, Fluttershy's an alicorn. You know, wings and horn. Horns. The tentacles are... new, I suppose. As are the claws. And antenna. She's undeniably parts of all three kinds of pony, so I suppose we could just mark that down and be done with it."
Her Royal Highness (ret) nodded and sipped her tea, seeming perfectly comfortably at Princess (Jr. Probationary status) Twilight's crystal setting room. There was a degree of ambivalence to her demeanor that bespoke of suppressed maniacal laughter, as well as a smug assurance that this whole thing was Not My Problem.
"Oh, thank the stars," gasped Twilight. "I thought you would be upset. And we have a few months to update any forms needed before the foals are born."
Princess Celestia's spray of tea reached the other wall.
That was beautiful.
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"Oooh!" Pinkie chirped up. "Maybe she's a SUPER alicorn!"
"What?"
"Welllll... alicorns are all types of pony at once."
"Of course, as a manifestation of harmony they symbolize the peace between..."
"Uh huh!" Pinkie interrupted, popping up beside Celestia in the space of a blink. "But there's more to ponies than just ponies now. We've got bug ponies and bat ponies and griffon ponies..."
"Griffon ponies?" Twilight cut in, feeling a bit faint.
"Oooh! Oooh! I know this one! When a griffon and a pony love each other very much..."
"Their children are hippgriffs, yes, thank you for reminding me," said Celestia, interrupting in turn and covering her face with her wings. She had really, truly hoped that the royal migraines would end with retirement. Alas, it was not to be.
"Uh huh! But there's more. Spike is Twilight's brother so he's kind of a pony, and we have griffons living in Canterlot and really at this point it'd be rude to say they aren't. And now Fluttershy has the antenna and the bat wing and the dragon claws and..."
"I take your point Pinkie," Celestia replied. "Twilight, Pinkie may be correct. You might do well to encourage other ponies to adopt her perspective, rather than explain a new Chaos spirit. Discord, for all his improved demeanor, has done very little to reassure your little ponies." Celestia very carefully did not smirk at the expression on Twilight's face at that. An occasional sickening reminder of their responsibilities was good for a ruler.
"I will certainly take it under consideration, Celestia," Twilight replied. She was proud of herself that her voice only barely caught at referring to Celestia as a superior. Under any other circumstances she would have to lie down, but as it was her weirdometer was already maxed out. Really, the timing was perfect. "I am a bit curious though, Pinkie. Under this theory of yours, just where did the tentacles come from?"
Pinkie paused, then frowned in deep thought. At this point no one was even surprised that she did this by pausing in mid pronk. The tableau didn't last long, however, as Luna burst into the throne room and Pinkie fell on her rump with a squeak.
"Ah, Princess! Sister," she added, nodding to Celestia, "I have most urgent news. A strange flying craft has descended in the royal gardens. They say them come in peace, and request to speak to our leader. My apologies but, as former Princess of the Night, they were laboring under a misapprehension and sought me out first."
As Twilight's jaw dropped slack and the sound of flapping tentacles began to be heard up the corridor, Celestia couldn't help but break out in a wide grin. This was definitely not her problem.
9868142 Dangerous line of thought. I mean, Discord himself is part pony and has wings and a horn...
....
Yeah, I can accept this.
Edit: On re-reading: Awwww.
How better to troll anything than to stab them to life?
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Twilight: "Thank goodness we got that cleared up." *wanders off*
Celestia: *coughs up tea that went down the wrong pipe* "I really must stop drinking tea when I tune out Twilight's ramblings." *looks towards Twilight's retreating figure* "Huh, really hope that wasn't important. Oh well."
Gross! :V
This is so bizarre, and so sweet.
Much, I'm sure, like the amalgamapple.
*squees happily for a good hour*
I love everything about this!
Also, OTP