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// Immodest Proposal 
// Story: Dueling Keyboards 
// by FanOfMostEverything 
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Everyone would later agree that literally everything about the proposal attempts could've gone better, though few mistakes quite compared to the heaving, tumorous mass of fruit and terrible poetry looming over the lovers and their co-conspirators.

"Wait," Mrs. Cake said to Spike and Discord. "So you two were orchestrating a proposal? That's what I was doing!"

"Who were you proposing to?" said Discord.

"Discord!" cried Apple Bloom.

"Me!?"

"Will you snap that thing back to normal already?" said Spike.

Discord crossed his arms. "Well, I was going to, but if that's how you plan on thanking me for it, maybe I won't."

"I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU! I LOVE YOU!" the applebomination chanted from at least four mouths, one of which was on an elbow.

Scootaloo winced. "Uh, could you do something? I'm pretty sure that thing is in pain."

"Hmm..." Discord stroked his goatee in thought. "Well, I suppose I can stone two krill with one bird, or however that goes." He snapped, but the pomaceous horror remained. Instead, a light flashed next to Discord himself, revealing a hovering—

"Fluttershy?" the others chorused.

Once she blinked away her surprise, she took one look at the fused apples, then turned to Discord with a flat look. "Discord."

"No, no, no. We're not doing the name thing again. Now then:" Discord took Fluttershy's forehoof in paw and talon and got down on one scaly knee. "Fluttershy. You are the last thing I ever expected to value more than myself or my self-satisfaction. You have exposed me to alien mindsets, beliefs, and sensations beyond my wildest imaginings and forced my mind into a state that could comprehend them. You saved me from petrification, dissolution, and holiday doldrums. If you had asked me ten years ago if I thought the concept of kindness deserved even a single attosecond of consideration, I wouldn't have been able to answer you, because I was a statue at the time."

"Is he—?"

"Are you—?"

"Should we—?"

All three questions got somewhat stunned nods from the other onlookers.

Discord looked deep into Fluttershy's eyes, gestured towards his horrific creation, and said, "Fluttershy Poseysfilly, will you accept this giant mutant apple and make me the happiest draconequus in existence?"

"I... I..." Fluttershy sniffed, wiping at her eyes with her free foreleg. "How did you know?"

"Come now, you didn't think Zecora was the only one keeping an eye on you during that whole body swap debacle, do you? I figured there were even odds of Angel's little slip being a jab, the truth, or both." He gave a lopsided grin. "Why not take the risk?"

There was silence for a few moments, save for the continuing ululations of the amalgamapple. The lopsided grin came loose and swung back and forth on Discord's muzzle. But then, quiet enough that it was almost lost against Big Mac's noble attempts at a limerick, Fluttershy said, "Will you help me accept the engagement gift?"

"Oh! I was just using what was available, but..." Almost shyly, Discord said, "You want me to do the thing? Here?"

Fluttershy's whole face went rosy, but she nodded.

"Um, there are children present," said Mrs. Cake.

Apple Bloom rolled her eyes. "I live on a farm."

Scootaloo shrugged her wings. "My parents just consider that another part of biology."

"Same with Twilight," said Spike.

Sweetie Belle shuddered. "Rarity gave me a very detailed talk the day we got our cutie marks."

Discord cleared his throat and booped Fluttershy in the snoot. She developed slit-pupiled eyes, fluffy ears, and bat wings and promptly pounced on the apple. Its horrified screams were actually less obnoxious than the other sounds it had been making. "You should all be ashamed of yourselves."

To be fair, the noisy slurping and rapturous cries of "Yes! Yes! Yes!" still made every parent in a five-block radius cover their foals' ears.

Mrs. Cake facehoofed. "It's a good thing Carrot took the twins to visit their grandmother today."

"And for the record, that is how you ask for a pony's hoof in..." Discord trailed off when he realized his audience was two ponies smaller than he'd anticipated.

Apple Bloom looked around the area. "Where're Big Mac an' Sugar Belle?"

"They snuck off earlier," said Sweetie Belle. "They were heading for Sweet Apple Acres."

"And none of you stopped them? Hmph. Well, they may have missed my engagement, but I won't be nearly so inconsiderate." Discord raised his eagle talons, poised to snap, but froze as an irritated hiss sounded from behind him. "Er, that is..." He cleared his throat and made shooing motions. "You can all go on ahead."

Mrs. Cake gave her best maternal nod of approval. "Good, you're already learning."





Twilight sighed and covered her face with a wing. That seemed like a reasonable place to start. She'd keep it up for just a little bit longer.

Twenty years seemed reasonable.

"In my defense," said Discord, "I just as surprised as you are."

She peeked out at him between her pinions. Well, not so much peeked as glared. "Your magic was already behaving in ways you hadn't anticipated. Why did you think adding yet another layer of chaos magic to the mix would help matters?"

He just smirked. "Bold of you to assume I was thinking about that at all."

"Yeah. Yeah, I guess."

"I do appreciate you still agreeing to be my best mare."

"You're just lucky I kept Rarity from stabbing you with every needle she had when she had to redesign the wedding gown from the ground up on the day of the—" Twilight went silent as the songbird choir began singing the Wedding March.

And down the aisle came Fluttershy, no two limbs alike, including her mismatched antennae. A bellyfull of chaos-infused apple juice did that to a pony, after all.

But Twilight had to admit, happy as Fluttershy was, she was still as beautiful as Cadence on her wedding day.