The Equestrian Tales

by DarthScribble

Chapter 1 The beginning

Chapter 1
the beginning.

For a long time ago in the faraway lands of Equestria, the life of plants and living creatures and the earth was young and undiscovered, there was a white coated mare with a noticeable red mane. This mare was not any ordinary horse. Her fate will be swiftly changed in time as changes will happen in the close future to her. One night that seemed to be the important change to the mare a comet broke the silence in the peaceful land and landed close to the mare. After all of the noise and confusion that was created by the impact the mare went to discover this strange star that fell down to the soil.

As the mare came to the crater there was no longer a rock staying there, it was a hole that had buried itself down into a cave and in that cave it had grown into a glowing crystal like tree that had branches sticking out everywhere. But as the mare came closer to the tree she got suddenly struck by a white beam of light, surrounding her and what seemed to be a blinding eternity to the mare it stopped and it seemed that the body had consumed the light of it. The mare opened her eyes slowly widening and suddenly she saw the world in a new perspective, not like an ordinary horse would do but like a higher intelligent creature did do in these lands before that used to walk on two legs.

As the mare got more and more into this consciousness a great pain shot out of her forehead and back as she suddenly realized that she was growing a pair of big feather covered wings and a long horn that was flowing with some kind of power, she screamed in pain but shut the mouth shortly after knowing she did not whiny as a horse would do. Then when the pain ceased and she dried the tears with her newly grown wings, she even did stretch them and felt the power from the horn now flowing through her. She begin to calm down and then when suddenly she felt some energy did collect up on her both flanks and then nothing.

When things got calm again and nothing more did happen she took look at her flank, and saw what seemed to be a picture or a tattoo of a quill. This picture or tattoo was not removable after when she tried to lick it off or even was herself in the pond beside her. she wondered on what this picture was at all beacuse it felt like it did represented something about her.
She began to look at the tree as it did not have much of leaves. But she saw it was 5 branches with some different colored stones that seemed to have some kind of magic in them, even the trunk had one big purple one that seemed to be important. She reached for them when something invisible tried to block her from taking the stones from the tree. She tried several times when she found out that it was the tree that had stopped her.

She sighed and went out of the hole when something struck her head, making a castle over the cave where the tree is just to have as a protecting shelter for the tree and her. Her mind was flowing on with how the castle was going to look like and how it should be built, when she suddenly cleared her mind and saw what she had done. She had built the castle like if her mind was on autopilot and did all the work for her, well it sounds easier than said when she felt the fatigue stream over her making her feel on how much energy the build took over her. And somewhat her mind leaded her into the castle and into a master bedroom; it had a big nice bed with a big balcony, stained glass, bookshelves and a table with a quiver and a feather with a bunch of paper ready to be written on. She tilted her head to the side when she choose to lie down in the very comfortably bed. Not after a short moment she fell asleep and dreamt for a while.

The years have come and gone so fast and the mare, now named herself as Faust was carrying foals, she was suspicious that it could be twins but she was also excited to show the pony population of her newly formed kingdom her foals that would one day take over her throne. As for how the population grew is because of that she had found some ponies with wings, horns or wasn’t going with anything of such features at all but they all got these “Cutie marks” on their flanks and they spoke with her and told her that they saw the castle from a message of dreams that they would find a pony that could lead them and protect them if they went there to be in the newly formed kingdom known as Equestria.

One day Lauren was outside the castle, walking to the forest just take in some fresh air. As she ventured into the woods, enjoying the scenery she suddenly realized she wasn’t alone in the forest. She was continuing walking acting like nothing was happening, suddenly she heard some hoof steps behind her and she turned around and her eyes widen up as she saw a dark coated young mare with a dark starry purple mane flowing, she had a picture as well on her flank as well, and it could remind something that knew about what was beyond the stars about a galaxy but in a simple stripe formation. The young mare stared at her with her purple colored eyes. They were both standing there, staring at each other, it seemed like an eternity when Faust was breaking the silence “who are you young one?”

there was no respond and it went to another lasting silence until the dark young mare responded sigh and said “M…my name is… Destina, y... you got a cute picture you have there.” the mare looked a bit away shyly after nodding against Faust's Flank.

“It’s nice to meet you Destina, and thank you for the compliment i think i'm calling it a Cutie Mark” Faust replied “And my name is Faust, and I am the queen of the land of Equestria” Faust smiled to the newcomer. Faust asked Destina if she was the only one around in the area and how she became an alicorn.

“I don’t know,” Destina replied “I think I was minding my business when something just went over me as a curtain, When I woke up I had a horn, a pair of wings and had the ability to think and speak like some ancient creature did before us,” Faust smiled at the young mare and smiled when an idea struck her mind.

“I want to adopt you as my little sister and let you rule the land on my side”. Destina looked at Faust with a confused expression on her face. And then a smile was developing on her muzzle and some tears came to the corners of her eyes.

“Of course I will be your sister,” she hugged Faust smiling with eyes closed and then pulled back off again. “After what have happened to me I seemed to have lost my family or I have gotten wild since there was no one around me when I woke up,”

Faust nodded and took the young mare with her to go back to the castle with her.
It passed some weeks and Faust was close to birth date of the foals she was carrying. Destina had learned the ways of royalty acts and does in the castle and was fully taking the job for staying in Faust’s place since she was in this condition. The population of the village around the castle was such a growing and beautiful town. Young and old ones, pegasus, unicorns and earth ponies wandered in the streets or did fly around in the sky doing their jobs and business. The pegasus ponies had the ability to manipulate the weather by moving different types of clouds around the sky, earth ponies did do their work at the farmlands taking care of the land as they did farm from the most healthiest wheat and to the sweetest apples you could ever taste. It was such a harmony. The unicorns did do their work as well where the earth ponies and pegasi couldn’t reach in. after knowing the news the ponies was preparing for a feast for celebrating the new princesses to come. A week later there was a great festivity in the village. All the ponies are dancing around, playing games or eating and drinking and celebrating the great news over that the princesses, Princess Luna and Princess Celestia was born. They were all happy over the news of the newborn royalties.

Inside the Castle Faust was in the nursery, snuggles her newborn daughters with her muzzle with some proud and happy tears in her eyes as she was watching the two fillies. Celestia had a white coat and a pink mane. Luna was light blue with even lighter blue mane, both was alicorn fillies that Faust herself have brung up to this world. Destina was standing beside with Faust watching at her newborn nieces.
“Congratulation sis,” Destina spoke with her soft voice,

“Thank you my dear sister,” Faust responded as she did give Destina a tight sisterly hug that only way sisters knows how to hug.
The fillies did grow healthy and happy with all the loveliest things you could expect from the small ones, they were running around in the corridor and playing out in the castle yard. They re-pictured the relationship between Faust and Destina very well. One day Destina had to go on a trip, and this was not a daytrip this would be the longest time she would be away from the castle and mostly the kingdom for some years. Destina had been banished by her sister Faust because of Destina got consumed by a darkness that took the form of her and it named itself for Mystique.

Mystique was an evil pony that wanted to turn everypony to her devilish nightmares transforming ponies to the most horrid creatures; due to Faust’s knowledge to this she had no other way to stop her than banish her to an prison dimension Faust only had made, closing Destina up there for 2000 years. Faust was heartbroken over doing this act. She did actually had to have some servants take care of Luna and Celestia in two weeks before she got over it even tough Faust was still missing and mourning for her newly lost sister, but it was for Equestria’s best and she had nothing else to do or choose.

The years did pass and the small fillies was now young mares, learning the way of the royalty responsibility, they had both gotten their own cutie marks; Celestia got a Sun because of she got the power to control the sun and the day it brought trough, Luna had a moon as a cutie mark because of her power to control the Moon and the night, but unlike Celestia Luna had the power and responsibility to go into other ponies dreams and see if they needed some aid to get through the dream with no difficulty.

As they began to be more and more involved into leading the kingdom together, Faust had taken them in for a walk in the royal garden for a private talk. Faust sighed and said “My little sweet daughters, it’s kind of hard to tell this” she paused with wiping off some tears from her eyes, “Your dearest mother has to leave you two to rule Equestria by yourself”. Celestia and Luna were confused about this news, why would their mother leave them all alone? Was something wrong? Who knows but it seemed serious and important by the tone of her voice to judge on.

“Mommy, why do you have to leave us?” Luna asked with some tears in her eyes.

“Mommy is going on a travel, but don’t worry I will return to you from one time to another,” Faust did respond with a sad smile, she tried to reassure her two daughters so she had them with cuddling her over the night before she was going to leave. As the morning came Faust did raise the sun for her elder daughter Celestia, she went to Celestia and whispered in her ear “Be a nice mare and take care of your little sister.” Faust then kissed her both daughters on the cheeks with some tears more and more steadily streaming down her eyes and rolling down the cheeks staining the white fur of hers. Within a softly bright flash, she was gone until she returned one day. Leaving the castle silent and the kingdom in responsibility to the hooves of the two sisters.

As the two sisters woke up they suddenly realized that their mother was gone, crying as they wished they could just get able to say goodbye before her depart. The castle staff did knew already of the disappearance of Faust since she had informed them earlier and to have them take care of her daughters from now on as they are supposed to rule the kingdom all by themselves.

Author's Note:

This was the first chapter and the first story i have posted so far in here, i hope that you readers did enjoy it.
i would also like some feedback on what should been added or removed or even tweaked on.

i will be posting chapter two when it get's done and when i got time to finish it off. i dunno how long the story is
gonna end but i hope it will be good enough for such great community like you guys.

~DarthScribble~

Comments

[Sauron]

Can't understand either the short or long description.

*First*

[Cheesey Microwave]

Curse you, Spoiler Alert NET!
Anyways, I think this needs a bit of work. The writing style is a bit... rushed. Maybe you could tell it from the perspective of a kindly old grandma or grandpa.
Also, you should probably get a proofreader(I'd be able to do it, since I'm homeschooled and I have way too much time on my hooves hands) and be sure to re-re-re-re-read it before you publish it.
Here's an example of your work:

when it got silent and nothing more did happen to her body she did look at her flank and saw what seemed to be a picture of a feather and a quill. This picture or tattoo was not removable and she got the word “Cutie mark” popping up inside her mind from nowhere and she guessed that was the name of this strange mark.

*You did not capitalize the beginning of the first sentence.
*You should put a comma between 'body' and 'flank'.
*A quill is simply a feather that has been altered to work as a pen. You could just say 'two feathers' or 'two quills' instead or 'feather and a quill'.
*'Cutie' should not be capitalized unless you're going to capitalize 'mark' as well.
*How did she find out it wasn't removable?
*The whole 'cutie mark popping in her mind out of nowhere' is a bit far-fetched. Maybe Faust could've been wondering about the mark on her flank when Destina noticed the mark and exclaimed, "Oh, that's a cute picture!" Thus, she would've some up with the name Cutie Mark. Just an idea.

Those are just concerning two sentences. I strongly advise that you get a proofreader and perhaps a co-author. After all, two heads are better than one.
I do like the idea of pony mythology, though. If the next chapter improves in grammar, I'll definitely like and favorite this.

[DarthScribble]

4948579 i thank you for the feedback. and i know sometimes english grammar isn't my strongest beacuse of it's my second language . and yeah i wished for having someone else read over sometimes for me but ill try to tweak on that. and i just copy pasted stuff from microsoft Word to the page so it was kinda hard to see the errors when it wasn't there. and about the rush maybe you are right i might have subconsiously rushed without knowing.

but still thanks for the feedback. i would like some more feedback from you when i give out next chapter