Applejack's scared of losing her femininity because of mother issues, it's gone over a good few chapters back. She's doing her lovers a FAVOR by using the bit for them. Losing even more of her femininity by losing her lashes and looking more like a stallion... then being told essentially that it's what one of your lovers sees you and wants you as anyway, clearly really hit home for her.
224676 You'd have to read the 'Off Duty' chapter- Off Duty and of course mares are shown with eyelashes, and stallions don't have any. It's different for Applejack to lose her eyelashes because she's already real conflicted about whether she's more like a stallion- like her mother had demanded she be- or mare-ish and girly, like the Apple women are traditionally not allowed to be.
In the ponies of the MLP:fim universe, there are only two observable differences between the sexes - because of the way they are drawn, and the nature of cartoons - one is the shape of the nose, flat and straight for males, or indented for females, and the other is eyelashes, many for females and none, essentially, for males.
Twilight is trying to force Applejack into a gender role, and a sex role, that the farm pony is uncomfortable with. Twi's demand is that Applejack become a stallion for her, and she has become so corrupted that she no longer cares about anything but her own fantasy. Destroying one of Applejack's only two sexually defining characteristics is effectively transsexualizing her against her will; the degree to which Twilight in this story has become a dangerous, powerful monster is chilling. With her magical ability, she could potentially destroy Applejack's gender comfort and render her a plaything permanently. She is showing signs here of becoming just that sort of monster.
The true depth of emotional, ethical corruption caused by Trixie's bit in this story is bordering on the diabolical, certainly we are hip deep in 'Story Of O' territory here with Trixie herself, and as for Twilight... with her level of power and her loss of ability to feel for others, she is on the brink of becoming a Little Anthony, a mad god, selfish and devoid of compassion. A true... Master.
That bit, the lust for the bit itself, for the fantasies it promises, is a potential threat greater than Discord. I am so impressed at the horror created here, deep, complex, unctuous and savory horror that encompasses body, mind and soul in an all consuming carnal nightmare.
I thought you were a funny, enjoyable clop writer, Applejinx, but you are clearly more than that. This is turning into a fully Lovecraftian nightmare of epic proportions, filled with deep psychosexual sociopathy and the brilliant, gradual decline of seemingly playful partners into the very depths of degradation and dissolution. My god, the horror, the horror. Not a pony in this will escape being permanently scarred at some level. Just brilliant.
"It was slicker’n a pigpen after a big rain" What a marvelous and perfect line, in context.
I was wrong to initially dismiss this story, and its author, as trivial fun. This is astonishing, disturbing, and brilliantly crafted.
I bow to you, Applejinx. I see what you are doing here, and I am deeply impressed. Also weirded out. But impressed.
224839 I find it funny how people are making Twilight into this crazy pony, when she's the only one that want's an actual relationship and not just fuck buddies. This is all Rainbow's fault. If she had real loyalty, if she didn't have AJ sex everypony up for no real reason than to "help" them, if Rainbow wasn't so stupid, if she didn't share the bit none of this would be happening. I knew this was going to happened when the story mention what happens to unicorns when they squirt. All Rainbow had to do was just be with AJ, but no. Or make a harem or something. Can't wait for the confrontation. Rainbow is selfish, controlling, and conniving, trying to turn other ponies into what she is and didn't think that maybe having her little toy fuck everything else like she does was a bad idea. It's all her fault. I mean, what did she expect to happened?
224839 Geez, that's some serious analysis. I commend you. I really do. Just the fact that you wrote that much is quite admirable, honestly. *RD salute*
I do say I think you're taking the dark part a little over the edge though. "... potential threat greater than Discord" Yeah, probably not . Twilight is undoubtably being insensitive towards the others (and let's face it, a total mule), but until the story degrades into her enslaving ponies simply to be her sex toys I wouldn't call Twilight a sadistic "Master". She's certainly being selfish and mean, but I think you have to admit you went a little over the top there.
That being said, kudos to you, 224747. The clop I enjoy reading most is clop that actually has a significant story behind it. The best kind of clop is clop that uses sex as a way to further explore the characters and their innermost emotions. That sounds cheesy, but it's entirely true, in my opinion. Sex can reveal a lot about characters that couldn't be discovered through any other means. You've truly done some excellent character-building with this story, doing what you have wouldn't have been possible unless you were brave enough to go into sexual relationships amongst the characters. Huzzah for clop that isn't some crap thrown together in 20 minutes or things simply for the lulz. Thought-proking, intense sexual relationships FTW!!!!
Wow, I feel smart for what I said there. *blushes profusely, knowing he's actually an idiot*
Unless you missed the rest of the story (which I know you didn't, sorry, bad comeback), Applejack and Dash aren't exactly what you would call "fuck buddies". Sex is a beautiful thing between two people (ponies) who love each other. Just because they mutually indulge in each other a lot doesn't mean they don't have real feelings for each other.
You know normally I don't like plot in these kinds of stories, it tends to get complicated and out of character and loses track of the original content I was looking for. But this story combines the two really well, even Twilight going off the deep end into something that I would never image Twilight being was handled in such a way that I still can picture Twilight. I look forward to more!
Also a Happy Ending, in every sense of those words.
The complications and risk that are coming in here aren't with RD and AJ's relationship- they're with the fact that Twilight is lookingtobe an increasingly clingy and over-possessive lover. She's not just monogamous,she's edging her way towards frightening stalker territory with kidnapping Trixie and such.
I'd be happier about guessing where Twin was going if it weren't such a dark, dark place.
But I just realized that it's been hinted at since the start that Twi was going dark places with this. She doesn't love AJ - she loves HER stallion.
Whether or not that's what AJ wants to be.
Congratulations Trixie. Like I said last chapter, you're doing exactly what you promised... though, now, you probably don't want to anymore.
Really I have to disagree, Twilight may have started this journey looking for a romantic partner after being with AJ, but she has slowly been sliding downhill into a pretty scary place. Just look at AJ's entrance to the library, Twi has this perfect scene, this illusionary masculine ideal created for herself that makes her completely oblivious to the discomfort of AJ. She is so focused on what AJ can do for her sexually and in no other way, it's almost worse than Trixie. It feels kinda hard to discuss without just rehashing everything mentioned by 224839
In regards to Dash, I think she and AJ are just in the pinnacle of a "open relationship." Her feelings, I think, are summed by the idea that when all else fails they will just come back to the two of them. Rainbow is letting this happen(or was), partially for the new bit, and because if things don't work out they plan to back off and just go back to the two of them together.
The problem isn't just Twilight's actions. She's only one half of this.
Applejack hasn't exactly come clean with what their relationship (Twilight/Applejack) is. And letting Twilight believe that AJ is her's is not helping in the slightest.
224839 Don't forget how Twilight, after losing her shit and establishing that Trixie does NOT outrank Spike... still makes a point of giving her the promised second helping of alfalfa, when she could easily have refused to do that. Trixie isn't so far off base in falling for Twi on several levels. Applejack isn't wrong in assuming there'd be trouble and drama if Twi doesn't get her way. Remember Lesson Zero, Ticket Master, Feeling Pinkie Keen- our hyper-powered little unicorn pony just does not have the stability to go with her magical power, never has. We love her anyway but that doesn't mean her story always goes as she would wish it.
And she does not have the experience and maturity of a Dashie- granted, that is not assuming she would ever have all the same attitudes, but Twi pretty much has the least practical romantic experience of any of the mane six. It's been a life of fantasy and books. I can't blame her for trying to step into that life as best she can. Her trouble (as with Baby Cakes) is with not reading between the lines too good.
I've been reading from the start but I've been somewhat hesitant to comment on this because of it's nature. At the start I could probably get away with that line of thought because it was a story about Rainbow Dash sharing the gift of penis amongst her friends. Then it evolved into a personality crisis with Applejack over whether she was a stallion or a mare in her own head. That little plotline was great and all, but it was still Applejack laying the pipe more effectively than a certain mustachioed mayor of Metro City. Then you started to implement a potential strain to AJ and RD's relationship by introducing the side-relationships, Twilight with AJ and Pinkie with RD, but again, it was still just ponies fucking.
Then there was the part with Trixie and the story just fell into place. Everything from that point began to make sense and the story began to evolve into a twisted cautionary tale where the story takes control over the sex. Everything has literally flipped on it's head and I love it.
I actually want to know what happens next. I don't want to know which fetish the writer will come up with this time, I want to see where the story is going. And for a fic that I originally started reading because it was a somewhat lulzy fic about sex, that's pretty good.
I'm especially loving the sub/dom relationship you've created with Twi and Trixie, I think "Switch, Thrown" was my favourite chapter yet, it showed a deep understanding of the situation and the psychology of it all was played out really effectively. The continuation of that storyline in this chapter was brilliant as well, you do show that whilst Twilight is clearly descneding into a rather dark place, she still has that side of her that cares about her fellow pony (insisting Trixie eat the extra helping of alfalfa) even if it is her submissive.
Also, I want to appluad you for making Spike a sensible character. His interactions pretty much always make me laugh and he thinks pony sex is gross, which as a child, of course he would. It would be weird for him to be interested in it in any way at that age. Thank you for that, I can't stand Spike/Anything but the way you had him make Trixie turn round and he just looks in there and go "lol nope." had me giggling like mad. You did really well capturing his in-show personality.
One last thing, because I have read a lot of pony sex in the course of reading this thing, i have to at least make a comment on that. My opinion is that you write it really well, you've proven time and time again that you can do perfectly good passionate, emotional and (in the case of Twi and Trixie) even angry and somewhat scary sex. You seem to have a pretty awesome blend of story and sex, something not every author can brag about.
...of course Twilight Sparkle would horngasm more readily than most unicorns; she's naturally overflowing with magic! I only just caught that -- my fridge logic runs a little slow.
That filly needs a stern talking-to, and possibly a lover who actually wants to be her fantasy stallion. (Of course, a bit of woulda sorted this nonsense out early. Best ship is best.)
i think the fact that she's taken that "Applejack loves me!!". and made it "Applejack loves me and not Rainbow!!" is a completely dumb assumption to make.....just because the bit didn't because AJ loves her doesn't mean that she can't love anyone else, less, equally, or more. she's turned what Trixie said about it breaking if she doesn't love her and made it into if it doesn't break that means she loves her more than anyone else EVER etcetc blahblah.
i think she might possibly have gone a tad overboard with the fantasies aswell. she is try TOO hard to make AJ her "sexy stallion" and it's probably ruining her
to say she's really intelligent. she sure is being a dumbass.
on a more positive note. i frigging love this fic! looking forward to the next chapters out of interest. I'm hoping next chapter RD gives Twilight what for aswell. xD
I've finally put my finger on what made me feel odd about this fic after the big "wham" chapter.
The opening chapters were all about the character development, with a bit of humor and drama driving things where appropriate. Now that you've brought in a touch of grimdark and a mane cast pony turning into the antagonist... It's a very sharp detour, even though you kept it all reasonable and in-character.
You joked about AJ fucking Dash to death, and then introduced actual risk of death? Talk about whiplash.
I got an email recoomending this, so I thought, sure, let's check it!
In exact faces:
THis is a really good story, where the sex is nothing more than a secondary thing, much like the walking dead. The story isn't about the sex, it's about the relationships that form and the complicated things that arise FROM the sexual encounters.
Seems as though Twi is getting too attached to AJ for her own good... Dashie did warn about when a unicorn-mare has a horn-gasm...
Props to Spike for 'exploring' the mare anatomty--though he loses those for saying gross to both mare and dragoness lady parts. I know its an age thing, so he get half props.
And I got one thing to say about AJ losing her eyelashes... {firey explosion} Am I missing, an eyebrow?
Well, Trixie's fucked up beyond the point of repair. And Twilight, you really need to get a hold of yourself. You're being far too selfish with Applejack. Well, time to see what Dash is about to do.
Oh no, not the eye lashes! ... Wait, why's that a big deal? I must have missed something.
Applejack's scared of losing her femininity because of mother issues, it's gone over a good few chapters back. She's doing her lovers a FAVOR by using the bit for them. Losing even more of her femininity by losing her lashes and looking more like a stallion... then being told essentially that it's what one of your lovers sees you and wants you as anyway, clearly really hit home for her.
224676
You'd have to read the 'Off Duty' chapter-
Off Duty
and of course mares are shown with eyelashes, and stallions don't have any.
It's different for Applejack to lose her eyelashes because she's already real conflicted about whether she's more like a stallion- like her mother had demanded she be- or mare-ish and girly, like the Apple women are traditionally not allowed to be.
224676
In the ponies of the MLP:fim universe, there are only two observable differences between the sexes - because of the way they are drawn, and the nature of cartoons - one is the shape of the nose, flat and straight for males, or indented for females, and the other is eyelashes, many for females and none, essentially, for males.
Twilight is trying to force Applejack into a gender role, and a sex role, that the farm pony is uncomfortable with. Twi's demand is that Applejack become a stallion for her, and she has become so corrupted that she no longer cares about anything but her own fantasy. Destroying one of Applejack's only two sexually defining characteristics is effectively transsexualizing her against her will; the degree to which Twilight in this story has become a dangerous, powerful monster is chilling. With her magical ability, she could potentially destroy Applejack's gender comfort and render her a plaything permanently. She is showing signs here of becoming just that sort of monster.
The true depth of emotional, ethical corruption caused by Trixie's bit in this story is bordering on the diabolical, certainly we are hip deep in 'Story Of O' territory here with Trixie herself, and as for Twilight... with her level of power and her loss of ability to feel for others, she is on the brink of becoming a Little Anthony, a mad god, selfish and devoid of compassion. A true... Master.
That bit, the lust for the bit itself, for the fantasies it promises, is a potential threat greater than Discord. I am so impressed at the horror created here, deep, complex, unctuous and savory horror that encompasses body, mind and soul in an all consuming carnal nightmare.
I thought you were a funny, enjoyable clop writer, Applejinx, but you are clearly more than that. This is turning into a fully Lovecraftian nightmare of epic proportions, filled with deep psychosexual sociopathy and the brilliant, gradual decline of seemingly playful partners into the very depths of degradation and dissolution. My god, the horror, the horror. Not a pony in this will escape being permanently scarred at some level. Just brilliant.
"It was slicker’n a pigpen after a big rain" What a marvelous and perfect line, in context.
I was wrong to initially dismiss this story, and its author, as trivial fun. This is astonishing, disturbing, and brilliantly crafted.
I bow to you, Applejinx. I see what you are doing here, and I am deeply impressed. Also weirded out. But impressed.
224839 I find it funny how people are making Twilight into this crazy pony, when she's the only one that want's an actual relationship and not just fuck buddies. This is all Rainbow's fault. If she had real loyalty, if she didn't have AJ sex everypony up for no real reason than to "help" them, if Rainbow wasn't so stupid, if she didn't share the bit none of this would be happening. I knew this was going to happened when the story mention what happens to unicorns when they squirt. All Rainbow had to do was just be with AJ, but no. Or make a harem or something. Can't wait for the confrontation. Rainbow is selfish, controlling, and conniving, trying to turn other ponies into what she is and didn't think that maybe having her little toy fuck everything else like she does was a bad idea. It's all her fault. I mean, what did she expect to happened?
224839 Geez, that's some serious analysis. I commend you. I really do. Just the fact that you wrote that much is quite admirable, honestly. *RD salute*
I do say I think you're taking the dark part a little over the edge though. "... potential threat greater than Discord" Yeah, probably not . Twilight is undoubtably being insensitive towards the others (and let's face it, a total mule), but until the story degrades into her enslaving ponies simply to be her sex toys I wouldn't call Twilight a sadistic "Master". She's certainly being selfish and mean, but I think you have to admit you went a little over the top there.
That being said, kudos to you, 224747. The clop I enjoy reading most is clop that actually has a significant story behind it. The best kind of clop is clop that uses sex as a way to further explore the characters and their innermost emotions. That sounds cheesy, but it's entirely true, in my opinion. Sex can reveal a lot about characters that couldn't be discovered through any other means. You've truly done some excellent character-building with this story, doing what you have wouldn't have been possible unless you were brave enough to go into sexual relationships amongst the characters. Huzzah for clop that isn't some crap thrown together in 20 minutes or things simply for the lulz. Thought-proking, intense sexual relationships FTW!!!!
Wow, I feel smart for what I said there. *blushes profusely, knowing he's actually an idiot*
224925 Oh an I forgot to mention:
Unless you missed the rest of the story (which I know you didn't, sorry, bad comeback), Applejack and Dash aren't exactly what you would call "fuck buddies". Sex is a beautiful thing between two people (ponies) who love each other. Just because they mutually indulge in each other a lot doesn't mean they don't have real feelings for each other.
You know normally I don't like plot in these kinds of stories, it tends to get complicated and out of character and loses track of the original content I was looking for. But this story combines the two really well, even Twilight going off the deep end into something that I would never image Twilight being was handled in such a way that I still can picture Twilight. I look forward to more!
Also a Happy Ending, in every sense of those words.
I'd be happier about guessing where Twin was going if it weren't such a dark, dark place.
But I just realized that it's been hinted at since the start that Twi was going dark places with this. She doesn't love AJ - she loves HER stallion.
Whether or not that's what AJ wants to be.
Congratulations Trixie. Like I said last chapter, you're doing exactly what you promised... though, now, you probably don't want to anymore.
224925
Really I have to disagree, Twilight may have started this journey looking for a romantic partner after being with AJ, but she has slowly been sliding downhill into a pretty scary place. Just look at AJ's entrance to the library, Twi has this perfect scene, this illusionary masculine ideal created for herself that makes her completely oblivious to the discomfort of AJ. She is so focused on what AJ can do for her sexually and in no other way, it's almost worse than Trixie.
It feels kinda hard to discuss without just rehashing everything mentioned by 224839
In regards to Dash, I think she and AJ are just in the pinnacle of a "open relationship." Her feelings, I think, are summed by the idea that when all else fails they will just come back to the two of them. Rainbow is letting this happen(or was), partially for the new bit, and because if things don't work out they plan to back off and just go back to the two of them together.
The problem isn't just Twilight's actions. She's only one half of this.
Applejack hasn't exactly come clean with what their relationship (Twilight/Applejack) is. And letting Twilight believe that AJ is her's is not helping in the slightest.
224839
Don't forget how Twilight, after losing her shit and establishing that Trixie does NOT outrank Spike... still makes a point of giving her the promised second helping of alfalfa, when she could easily have refused to do that. Trixie isn't so far off base in falling for Twi on several levels. Applejack isn't wrong in assuming there'd be trouble and drama if Twi doesn't get her way. Remember Lesson Zero, Ticket Master, Feeling Pinkie Keen- our hyper-powered little unicorn pony just does not have the stability to go with her magical power, never has. We love her anyway but that doesn't mean her story always goes as she would wish it.
And she does not have the experience and maturity of a Dashie- granted, that is not assuming she would ever have all the same attitudes, but Twi pretty much has the least practical romantic experience of any of the mane six. It's been a life of fantasy and books. I can't blame her for trying to step into that life as best she can. Her trouble (as with Baby Cakes) is with not reading between the lines too good.
224839
"deep, complex, unctuous and savory horror that encompasses body, mind and soul in an all consuming carnal nightmare"
Well, THAT'S a pull quote. "except, with ponies!"
225796
I've been reading from the start but I've been somewhat hesitant to comment on this because of it's nature. At the start I could probably get away with that line of thought because it was a story about Rainbow Dash sharing the gift of penis amongst her friends. Then it evolved into a personality crisis with Applejack over whether she was a stallion or a mare in her own head. That little plotline was great and all, but it was still Applejack laying the pipe more effectively than a certain mustachioed mayor of Metro City. Then you started to implement a potential strain to AJ and RD's relationship by introducing the side-relationships, Twilight with AJ and Pinkie with RD, but again, it was still just ponies fucking.
Then there was the part with Trixie and the story just fell into place. Everything from that point began to make sense and the story began to evolve into a twisted cautionary tale where the story takes control over the sex. Everything has literally flipped on it's head and I love it.
I actually want to know what happens next. I don't want to know which fetish the writer will come up with this time, I want to see where the story is going. And for a fic that I originally started reading because it was a somewhat lulzy fic about sex, that's pretty good.
I'm especially loving the sub/dom relationship you've created with Twi and Trixie, I think "Switch, Thrown" was my favourite chapter yet, it showed a deep understanding of the situation and the psychology of it all was played out really effectively. The continuation of that storyline in this chapter was brilliant as well, you do show that whilst Twilight is clearly descneding into a rather dark place, she still has that side of her that cares about her fellow pony (insisting Trixie eat the extra helping of alfalfa) even if it is her submissive.
Also, I want to appluad you for making Spike a sensible character. His interactions pretty much always make me laugh and he thinks pony sex is gross, which as a child, of course he would. It would be weird for him to be interested in it in any way at that age. Thank you for that, I can't stand Spike/Anything but the way you had him make Trixie turn round and he just looks in there and go "lol nope." had me giggling like mad. You did really well capturing his in-show personality.
One last thing, because I have read a lot of pony sex in the course of reading this thing, i have to at least make a comment on that. My opinion is that you write it really well, you've proven time and time again that you can do perfectly good passionate, emotional and (in the case of Twi and Trixie) even angry and somewhat scary sex. You seem to have a pretty awesome blend of story and sex, something not every author can brag about.
...of course Twilight Sparkle would horngasm more readily than most unicorns; she's naturally overflowing with magic! I only just caught that -- my fridge logic runs a little slow.
That filly needs a stern talking-to, and possibly a lover who actually wants to be her fantasy stallion. (Of course, a bit of woulda sorted this nonsense out early. Best ship is best.)
Twilight needs help O_o
i think the fact that she's taken that "Applejack loves me!!". and made it "Applejack loves me and not Rainbow!!" is a completely dumb assumption to make.....just because the bit didn't because AJ loves her doesn't mean that she can't love anyone else, less, equally, or more. she's turned what Trixie said about it breaking if she doesn't love her and made it into if it doesn't break that means she loves her more than anyone else EVER etcetc blahblah.
i think she might possibly have gone a tad overboard with the fantasies aswell. she is try TOO hard to make AJ her "sexy stallion" and it's probably ruining her
to say she's really intelligent. she sure is being a dumbass.
on a more positive note. i frigging love this fic! looking forward to the next chapters out of interest. I'm hoping next chapter RD gives Twilight what for aswell. xD
Derpy
I've finally put my finger on what made me feel odd about this fic after the big "wham" chapter.
The opening chapters were all about the character development, with a bit of humor and drama driving things where appropriate. Now that you've brought in a touch of grimdark and a mane cast pony turning into the antagonist... It's a very sharp detour, even though you kept it all reasonable and in-character.
You joked about AJ fucking Dash to death, and then introduced actual risk of death? Talk about whiplash.
Anyway, great work as always.
I got an email recoomending this, so I thought, sure, let's check it!
In exact faces:
THis is a really good story, where the sex is nothing more than a secondary thing, much like the walking dead. The story isn't about the sex, it's about the relationships that form and the complicated things that arise FROM the sexual encounters.
Anything I'd say has been said above, so I'll settle for this:
Don't you bucking DARE stop.
My god, this is getting really good.
Twighlight broke Trixie's brain!!!!
Seems as though Twi is getting too attached to AJ for her own good... Dashie did warn about when a unicorn-mare has a horn-gasm...
Props to Spike for 'exploring' the mare anatomty--though he loses those for saying gross to both mare and dragoness lady parts. I know its an age thing, so he get half props.
And I got one thing to say about AJ losing her eyelashes...
{firey explosion} Am I missing, an eyebrow?
Well, Trixie's fucked up beyond the point of repair. And Twilight, you really need to get a hold of yourself. You're being far too selfish with Applejack. Well, time to see what Dash is about to do.