No
She said no
Twilight Sparkle,
Your presence is required in Canterlot immediately, along with the other Elements. I'm afraid Equestria has a problem.
Princess Celestia
-_-_-_-
Dear Princess Celestia.
No.
-_-_-_-
“So what was the letter about?” Spike asked curiously, trying to get a gimps at what Twilight was writing in reply.
Twilight frowned deeply, not even bothering to sign her name before rolling and sealing the scroll, keeping her eyes on the desk as she passed it to her assistant. “Nothing important. Send this reply, and everything should be sorted out.”
Giving a quick salute, Spike took the scroll from Twilight's magic in his claw and set it ablaze, the smoke pooling in the air for a moment before being whisked away out the window. “Anything else you need?”
Twilight turned away from her desk finally, smiling gently. “No. But would you mind going and seeing if Rarity needs your help? I'm going to need the castle to myself for a few hours.”
Spike gave a sceptical look, but his desire to spend time with Rarity outweighed his curiosity. “On it!” With that, the dragon scampered away quickly down the many flights of stairs.
Standing from her desk, Twilight walked over and looked out a large window adorning the wall of the room, her gaze scanning across the town of Ponyville under the noon-time sun. The view from her new bedroom window in the very top of her crystal palace was certainly a sight to behold.
There was a rather loud bang from somewhere behind Twilight, but she didn't even bother turning around. “You took longer than I thought you would,” she noted dryly.
“What do you mean 'no',” Celestia demanded, her tone strong, confident, and calm.
“Exactly what I said,” Twilight responded flatly.
Celestia walked over to where Twilight was sitting, trying and failing to draw her former student's attention. “Equestria is in danger again, Twilight; we need the Elements of Harmony.”
Snorting derisively, Twilight turned and trotted away from her window, not even sparing Celestia a passing glance as she went over to her bookcase. “It's not my country.”
Celestia frowned deeply, watching as the purple alicorn selected a book from the shelf and returned to her desk, setting it down and flipping it open. “Twilight, what's going on? I don't understand why you're acting like this.”
“'You will play your part',” she shot back, sarcasm dripping from her voice.
“What?”
“'You will play your part',” Twilight repeated. “That's what you told me, back before Tirek. Like a cog in the machine; in your machine. Doing what it was designed to do and nothing else; no free will, no mind of its own, just a inanimate piece of metal.”
Celestia's gaze hardened on the back of Twilight's head. “Of course you have free will; you're not just a cog, Twilight.”
“Then what am I!?” Twilight shrieked, slamming her hooves against the pages of her book. “All I've ever done is what you've told me to do! All I've ever achieved are things you knew I would achieve! My entire life has been planned out for me, since before I was even born! I just so happened to have a princess as a foal sitter? My brother just so happened to be the captain of the royal guard, and then marry said princess!? The very first friends I ever made, the very first ponies I ever met in Ponyville, the ponies who were each in charge of something for the Summer Sun Celebration, just so happened to represent the other Elements of Harmony!? Give me a break; that's not coincidence.
“A fool could see that my entire life has been carefully plotted out and constructed around a larger plan. I'm a pawn, Celestia. I'm your pawn.”
“Twilight, I don't know where you're getting this, but I assure you-”
“Assure me what!?” Whipping her head around, Twilight leveled a deathly glare at the older alicorn, tears brimming in the corners of her eyes. “Assure me that 'you know I can do it' or that 'you believe in me'? Discord pointed out how we obtained the keys to the chest. I wonder where he got that information, hmm? You just so happened to be defeated by Nightmare Moon, who you knew was coming back, and left me alone to find the Elements that you already knew about, and cleanse your sister of her jealousy? You knew where they were; you defeated her before, why didn't you do it again?”
Celestia took a deep, calming breath, meeting Twilight's glare with a serene look of her own. “I did not posses the power necessary to cleanse her, I could only imprison her again.”
“But how did you know I would be able to!?”
Freezing up for just a fraction of a second, Celestia quickly regained her composure, changing the subject. “Please, Twilight; we can discuss these matters later, but right now I need you to-”
“No!” Twilight screamed at the top of her lung, standing from her chair and taking large, stomping steps towards her former mentor. “I refuse to be a cog in your machine! I'm not your pawn anymore! I haven't had free will all my life, but now I do. I've been planning this for a long time, ever since I banished Tirek back to Tartarus. I knew it would only be a matter of time before you gave me my next task to complete, and I knew what I had to do. Go save your own kingdom, Celestia; I won't be your weapon anymore.”
“You're not a weapon, Twilight, you never were!” Celestia yelled, finally raising her voice. “Can you honestly turn you back on all the innocent ponies of this nation? Of your nation? Need I remind you that you too are a princess of Equestria? Can you ignore your subjects and come out the other side of this with a clean conscience?”
Twilight sighed, gazing out her window. “I can't turn my back on my subjects, no.” She turned towards her bed, magically opening her bedside table.
“Exactly. You and your friends guarantee our safety; nopony has to die if you-” Celestia was cut off as an elegant tiara was thrown at her hooves, clanking against the ground and sliding until it came to a rest against her hoof.
“They're not my subjects anymore. If whatever disaster it is this times comes to Ponyville, I will defend myself, my friends, and my home. But Equestria is no longer my responsibility. Why don't you act like a ruler for once and defend your subjects instead of passing it off to your student?”
Celestia stared at the discarded tiara in shock for almost a full minute. Eventually, she lifted her head and looked back at the mare who had thrown it, tears running down her cheeks as she too stared at the gem-encrusted crown. “Your friends would never let you get away with this.”
Twilight sniffled, clearing her nose and wiping at the tears on her face. “Right... 'friends'. All they are to you is the pieces of the perfect weapon. But to me... they are my friends, and by doing this I'll be keeping them out of any more danger. Without the constant knowledge that they could be called on at any moment to save the kingdom, they can finally move on with their lives. You know Fluttershy wants to be a professional veterinarian? She was even about to go to school for it right before I came to Ponyville. Now she's too scared to leave, thinking that if she's away the Elements won't work anymore. Rarity wants to move her shop to Manehattan, but doesn't know what would happen to the power of the Elements if we started growing distant because of it.
“Rainbow refused a request to join the Wonderbolts a few months ago because she insists that she wants to be there for all of us when disaster strikes.. Applejack wants to travel the world, but she won't leave Equestria unless she knows for sure the Elements won't be needed. Pinkie Pie wants to go study baking in Fillydelphia, but she's scared that if something happens and the Elements are needed she won't be able to get back before it's too late.
“And I...” Twilight chocked back a sob, tears dripping from her cheeks and falling to the floor. “I just wanted to be a scientist, but as a princess I would never have time for that. You're holding back everypony's dreams. Why can't you protect your own subjects? You did for a thousand years after you banished Luna; why can't you now?”
Slowly, Celestia picked up Twilight's tiara in her magic, bringing it close to her face and admiring her reflection in one of the jewels dotted about. “But your destiny-”
“Is in my hooves now!” Twilight roared, stamping her hooves on the ground and shaking the entire building. “I'm not going to play out to some fate you picked for me; I'm shaping my own future now, and I'm letting my friends do the same!”
“Twilight, please, listen to reason,” Celestia pleaded, all form of calmness gone of her demeanour. “Equestria needs the Elements, without them we-”
“Survived for a thousand years without a problem. Ponies survived without you or Luna for thousands of years before that. Ponies are resilient; we always find a way to keep moving forward no matter what disasters we face. Without the Elements, you might actually have to do something for your country!”
“Think hard about this, Twilight,” Celestia warned darkly, “You can never take this decision back.”
Twilight's aggressive stance never once faltered “I've thought about this for months. When I die, I will not be identified as a princess. I will not be remembered for being an alicorn. I'm going to leave my scientific discoveries behind and advance all the world's knowledge. Rainbow Dash will be in the Wonderbolts hall of fame. Fluttershy will be one of the greatest veterinary minds that ever lived. Rarity's dresses will inspire designers for decades to come. Applejack will gather information about ever type of crop in the world and write an encyclopedia that will be used by farmers for generations. Pinkie Pie will create so many new desserts that her name will be renowned among bakers as long as they make sweets. We will all be remembered, but not for the reasons you want us to be.”
“Twilight-”
“Don't you have a disaster to be stopping? I'd hate to read about it tomorrow's paper if it doesn't end well.”
“Twilight Sparkle, if you-”
“Leave my house, and take that crown with you.”
“I will tell your friends about this!” Celestia threatened loudly.
Twilight paused, regarding Celestia curiously for a few moments before shrugging. “Then they might hate me. Either way, we'll all be free to chose our own fates, something we could never do if we continued to act as the Elements of Harmony.”
“You're making a mistake, Twilight!”
“Leave!” With that final scream and a pop, Celestia was forcefully teleported out of Twilight's room and onto the ground outside the giant crystal tree, the tiara falling to the dirt in front of her. She looked up to Twilight's bedroom window, through which she could just barely see a shape moving around inside.
Celestia turned, looking over the town from atop the hill Twilight's castle sat on. With a flash and a pop, this time of her own accord, she teleported back to the throne room of Canterlot Castle, where Luna waited impatiently, pacing back and forth.
“Sister,” Luna greeted sternly. “What did she say?”
Celestia looked wearily at her sister and fellow princess, tossing the abandoned tiara onto the regal red rug lining the floor.
“She said no.”
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Ooooh, Sunbutt just got burned.
i fucking loved this! the only thing that would have been better is if all the elements were there to tell her off. is there going to be a sequel?
I like this. I really do.
But I can't help wondering...what about Celestina's side in all this? People seem to go on about how much of a manipulator Celestial is and are quick to point out her faults, but what if there is more to it than that? Why can't Celestial be the benevolent leader she's meant to be?
Hmm -- are you that certain? AU is for when things have not followed canon -- this is 100% canon. The only thing that is different is Twi finally had enough, not for herself, but for her friends.
Thing is Celestia tipped her hooves here. If it were NOT something she could deal with herself, she would have used the argument of "Smooze is destroying Manehattan and lives are being lost every moment you do not act" instead of "You are making a mistake throwing away your destiny."
Thing also is, the former argument probably would have worked with Twilight.
Celestia isn't trusting Twilight here and it is exploding in her face. Twi has some grand destiny -- TELL HER.
Does the very existence of the elements actively draw opponents to face them?
Celestia could have also used the argument -- Twilight, I am tired. Yes for 1,000 years I was able to hold things together. But you know -- I couldn't even hold off Chrysalis when the time came. I am used up. Luna is not ready to handle this level of problem and I was going to retire.
But no.
Hm. I like it, but... what now? Some new group of ponies? Do the Elements choose their bearers? Does Celestia? Could Celestia really be manipulating the Six into it, sacrificing the dreams and aspirations of six for the lives and well-being of many, protecting the kingdom at any cost?
Or is Twilight being unnecessarily grouchy?
Or, could the myths of Trollestia be true? Is this all for her sick amusement?
I dunno, but It keeps me up at night.
Weren't the Elements sacrificed to restore the Tree of Harmony? Or is it part of the AU that they weren't sacrificed?
Either way, this was an interesting take on what Twilight would do after all this time. Kind of a fun when you think about the old "if you truly love something, you have to set it free" angle. Makes you wonder how much Celestia really loves Twilight
...Huh, so even her basic decencies will not allow her to try to save the others. She won't even TELL the others? Won't let them make their choices? Now who's taking other freedom of choice, Twilight Sparkle?
It's funny, I never thought Twilight saving Equestria was doing it because it was an order from Celestia, just because she wanted, you know, to help. Like when Discord showed up and messed up the weather, she didn't wait until after Celestia had told her to look into it. And really? Tirek? Twilight was bothered that Discord was asked to take care of it instead of her. And the others all suddenly have aspirations to move out of Ponyville but can't. What's with that? Applejack wants to see the world? Huh... okay, I guess? Rainbow Dash refuses opportunities for the Wonderbolts but not the whole academy training deal? Fluttershy isn't already a veterinarian? Pinkie Pie wants to move out of Ponyville away from all her friends?! What?!
Incidentally, I have no trouble buying the Rarity thing.It just seems... shoed-in.I get it, alternate universe, but even then it doesn't sell it. The whole thing is just a two thousand words accusation thrown at Celestia with no real weight to me. Sorry, Author.
This I like
I really, really loved this. Any chance of a sequal? I feel like there's a lot to explore here.
I can see why this was written, and I enjoyed it for that reason. I'm getting tired of Celestia doing absolutely nothing useful in protecting HER country. I might actually like to see her do so for once, just like Twilight pointed out.
And then King Sombra destroyed the world. The end.
Celestia took care of Equestria alone for 1000 years. I'd say she doesn't pass off her responsibilities lightly
MMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
"I quit."
"Well, fuck."
Is it wrong that I'm laughing" I feel like I shouldn't be laughing.
Not bad, an epilogue would seal the deal for me though
Thand seems a bit ridiculous, I'm not quite sure what to think in all honesty.
I'm really tired of all the hate Celestia recieves for these kinds of reasons, and I also feel that a story should never exist that's based on a negative feeling like this for a fictional character, just to hate on them, even if it IS a "what if" deal.
Now, if you had explored Celestia's side of the story, and made a determination of who is more so in the right because of that, it would be a different story.
Other than that, I feel like this piece isn't that great, I'm sorry. I really do normally enjoy your stuff.
ok. nice first chapter. still missing a prologue and an actual story. (Ok, maybe it doesn't need to be quite as long as the one airstream wrote on this subject...)
IIIIIIIIIIII like it!
4890946
4890957
4891353
I'm not writing a part about Celestia's side of the story. I purposely left her reasoning blank to encourage this kind of thinking about why she does what she does when her actions are cast under the light of this story. it's up for you to decide who was in the right.
4891038
Applejack's reasoning for wanting to travel is explained when Twilight talks about how they'll be remembered. Rainbow Dash joined the academy, but that was only for what, a week or two? And she wasn't even that far away. if she were int eh actual flight squad she'd be doing shows all over Equestria, and possibly even in other countries. You remember when Fluttershy stole Philomena? I think it's pretty clear she's not actually a vet. Pinkie Pie can make friends with anyone anywhere she goes, and she wants to spread happiness and joy, not just inside Ponyville.
As for Twilight now taking away the choices for her friends, that was entirely intentional. I wrote it this way, without Celestia really getting any solid arguments in, to provoke thought about what her reasoning is, and who's doing the right thing, if either of them are. I also like to think that, despite this, Twilight still trusts Celestia, and believes that even without her and her friends Celestia will be able to save lives. It's not supposed to carry weight, the weight is supposed to come from the reader wondering who was right and thinking about it. It's the first tie I've written anything like this, so it's entirely possible I just screwed it up.
4891017
No, the Elements were still sacrificed. I just refer to the group as the Elements because even without the actual necklaces they still represent the Elements, and it makes more sense than calling them the Mane 6.
4891164
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4890877
Sorry guys; as of right now there's no sequel even intended for this. I want to leave it as it is for a little while. I may revisit this one day, but it probably won't be with the sequel everyone wants.
Suck it up Celestia you only beamed Chrysalis a bit. Pony up and stop depending on Deus ex Machinas to do your job.
I swear to god fics like these are the reason i hate bronies portraying her as goddess her and her sister.
4891533
Fair enough. I can understand that, and I wasn't trying to imply that you absolutely should write Celestia's side; those were just my feelings on the matter. I'm using a phone to type so I'm not as articulate as I normally like.
This could sound a bit contradictory, but should also say that I did enjoy enjoy the idea itself, of that conflict of mentor and pupil, the latter feeling herself used, and I can't ultimately dislike it. I just wasn't a fan of the execution.
4891533 But the way you write it only makes the Mane Six come across as friends PURELY because the Elements are needed, and if not for that, they would go their separate ways without looking back. That's what so strange and contrived about all six itching to leave Ponyville to accomplish whatever dreams of greatness they have. It sends me the opposite message of what the show is about, especially what the season four premiere meant (that it was NOT the Elements that bound them together).
Look, their dreams were thrown at us with no build-up and with little basis in canon. Applejack wants to write an encyclopedia? Really, writing a book about crops, THAT'S AJ's dream? Fluttershy wants to be the greatest veterinarian mind to ever live? She wants to be a famed vet? Even saying that Pinkie wants to be friend with everyone, at least the previous two are really a stretch, I just don't buy it. I've never had the feeling that either AJ or Fluttershy had that kind of ambition, ever.
I felt none of your sentiments on how Twilight might still respect Celestia. No trust, no affection for her whatsoever, just a bitter ball of resentment, half of which looks written out of nowhere.
One minute ago, Twilight was saying that Celestia had worked for a thousand years for the good of the country, but NOW it's her being a lazy bitch? What???
Except continuing to be the Elements of Harmony for the good of everyone else IS a choice in itself, and she denies it times and times again. It reeks of hypocrisy. I'm not thought provoked in who is right or wrong, I feel that this story portrays Twilight herself as a bitter, resentful, ungrateful and selfish mare.
I'm afraid the execution was not up to par with the idea.
4891730
Not person trust, rather a trust to do what she's already been doing without the Elements. She says that she thinks Celestia should be able to handle it. She says that Celestia should be able to stop anypony from getting hurt or dying.
And whether or not you got the feeling they had these dreams in the show is not any kind of proof - aside from Dash, the show never once goes into any kind of detail about any of their aspirations in life. Why can't AJ want to write a book about farming? I mean, it's her life; it's what she does every day. What's so unbelievable about it? Is it because she's the stereotypical farmer who doesn't have enough brain cells to read? What about her time in Manehattan? "Because I don't think they would" is not a logical argument. I'll be the first to admit I don't think any of them would have these dreams in the show, but int he show none of them really even have dreams, again aside from Dash. And you also have to remember that when Twilight said these things, it was Twilight saying them. I doubt highly Fluttershy would claim to be the greatest vet or that AJ would call it an encyclopedia. Ask yourself why AJ went to Manehattan when she was young. Ask yourself why Pinkie left the rock farm. They've already left places and been to places, is it so hard to believe they might want to do so again? AJ left for Manehattan to see the city, and that could easily evolve to seeing the world. Pinkie left the rock farm why? Well it's never explained, but I like to think it was to spread her usual brand of un-controllable joy.
No, I don't make it sound like they'll stop being friends when they start achieving their dreams. i make it sound like that's what they think will happen, and it's an incredibly common fear when anything like this happens. When you put physical distance between yourself and others it's only natural to feel you'll also grow emotionally distant.
You should have caffeine more often. This was good!
4891849
And in the end all of Equestria was reduced to a millenia of misery at the hands of an insane eldritch abomination, and Twilight was forced to into to escape the fate which befell the other Princesses, which was for the best, as every intelligent being in the land, including her own friends, hated her and cursed her name for allowing Equestria to fall.
Horribly out of character. Also, pretty silly considering that Celestia told Twilight "you'll play your part" in direct response to Twilight complaining about not having anything important to do.
As for Celestia constantly foisting responsibility for disasters off on Twilight, yeah, she often does that. But she doesn't do it because she's horrible or lazy; she does it because she knows that she can't be everywhere at once, and she can't do everything herself. By carefully guiding, shepherding, and encouraging the growth of outstanding young ponies, she raises champions and fosters sentiments of strength and self-reliance that no amount of babysitting from an all-powerful immortal alicorn could ever achieve.
Twilight comes off as a petulant, whiny teenager here, going straight to the self-righteous fit before even attempting to have a rational discussion. No, apparently Celestia did not know about the Elements' aspirations, and fears regarding the importance of their roles - did you ever wonder if maybe, that's because you never bothered to tell her?
4892078 I'm not looking for a debate/argument, as I just wanted to point out, and make sure that you knew, that it (the story) WAS tagged AU.
4891533 I'm glad I read the comments before writing saying that I would be interested reading more in this universe. But it did what I think it was that you wanted it to do: provoke thought!
A bit too.... angry, I think. Even if Twilight had this sort of doubts, and even if they are valid points, that doesn't change the fact that she holds Celestia in enormous respect. Plus, she's not the type to suddenly snap and fly into a rant like this. She has never displayed even a little resentment over being Celestia's chosen champion, but if she felt that way I think she would have brought it up in a more collected and civil manner in the hopes of coming to reasonable solution.
Basically, this doesn't sound like Twilight talking to Celestia. It sounds like you ranting at Celestia through Twilight.
For that matter, even if Celestia may be slightly mischievous or even manipulative, she has never been portrayed as unreasonable or dominating. For all we know she may have a very good reason for entrusting the fate of Equestria to Twilight and her friends.
In fact, that's probably why this story rubs me the wrong way so much: You don't even give Celestia a chance to defend herself and justify her actions. That she is wrong and Twilight is right is a foregone conclusion to you, with nothing in the story to back that up.
4892111
AU doesn't work that way. An AU story is where you explore an alternative continuity as a central theme. It is not a carte blanche for ignoring canon and misenterpreting established characterization.
Alright, I have been going through this in my mind for a bit so here: What twilight did was a grave choice. Celestias guard cannot do shit! She basically said: 'No, I'm not going to be your nuke anymore, use your damn other playthings instead...' Celestia doesn't have the resources to do so. Equestria is under attack again and she says to use her horrible army? This is all about how Celestia is a manipulator, but I'm seeing this politically. Without the elements they have the GREATEST chance to actually lose this time. She doesn't have time to send out messages for neighboring countries because the'll most likely decline because they might simply not like the ponies. Luna may be of help but the are only two gods, what if they come out to THE WHOLE PLANET wanting to downgrade the ponies? Twilight doesn't even know what their up against! Tirek, Sombra and The Changelings might be back too! And you know what? The thing that saved them all straight up said no.
Celestia even said that PONIES WERE DYING FOR GODS SAKE! I really hope there will be a squeal because I would SOOO want for Celestia to say this instead of the sappy 'You can do this!' manure. Again, Ponies are dying. whoever or whatever is attacking isn't playing. Discord was mere jokes, Changlings only captured, so did Sombra, Tirek only took away magic. but never, EVER, did they kill. So far as I know anyway, even if Twilight does have a choice of this matter, She could ultimately cost her whole of a species and die.
Make more of this... It just got sad in here...
Very similar in vein to my own "Parting Words." Of course it eventually panned out that my version of Celestia was not the omniscient chessmaster she seemed, nor had she controlled Twilight's life so much as she'd taken out plans for every possible contingency... and that her REAL plan, in part, was to make Princesshood moot so that they could ALL pursue their destinies.
To those who say "But twilight was going to let ponies DIE"--- that seems more what CELESTIA was doing, isn't it? Despite being vastly more powerful and experienced than Twilight, she was continually dumping the fate of the world on her student's mortal shoulders, rather than getting off her cake-fed arse and dealing with it herself. Even to the point of using one terrible crisis as some sort of finishing exam!
4892549 I had a feeling you'd be weighing in on this one, RealityCheck. I upvoted it, given my own distaste for Celestia's seemingly endless manipulations, but it looks like a lot of downvotes may be headed its way...or so the comments imply.
4892403
Funny story, actually. I know a lot of people here will assume I wrote it so Twilight was in the right, and that in my mind she is in the right, but to be perfectly honest it's completely the other way around. Twilight is so clearly in the wrong here it's not even funny. However, this is a discussion that, in my mind, needs to happen between the two of them. For the reasons highlighted in this fic. They need to sit down and figure out how much responsibility should be put on their shoulders, and how much they should be sacrificing for this.
4892549
I confess to having not read... anything from you. However I have to admit I'm planning something eerily similar to what you're describing here, with a couple big differences. Public demand and the response I've gotten on this have made me decide to change this to incomplete and add another chapter or two to it.
4892632
Let the down votes come. I expected them, what with the topic I did this on and the way I wrote it.
4892860
Hm... I don't think this is completely OOC for Twilight. We know when she gets flustered she can become unpredictable and loud, just look at Feeling Pinkie Keen and Lesson Zero. It seemed to me that she was trying to remain civil in the beginning by being snippy, but the pressure of telling Celestia "no" wore her down until she was a screaming mess.
I don't think Twilight's wrong, though neither is she right. She's prioritized her life in a way that's disappointing to other people, but they're her priorities to make.
But I'm not saying this is a flawless story, it's a bit hamfisted and preachy, and I resent the simplicity of Twilight's perspective. It'd be more interesting if she did feel guilty about ditching her former subjects, or if this were a longer story and we later saw Twilight ruminating her actions and her broken friendship with Celestia.
Thing is, I don't think this is...too out of character. I mean, yes, this would never happen in the show, but the feeling I get from the story is that this is something that has been festering inside Twilight for months, probably longer given that she's known her friends were giving up their dreams for ages, and no one has helped her get over it because she hasn't told them. She probably would regret this eventually, but at the moment, I see this more as the first screaming match in an argument that should have happened sooner.
Her arguments contain just enough logic that her anger and betrayal fuel mind can twist it into being the only possible outcome, and we've seen Twilight do similar leaps in logic before.
Personally, I think she'd regret it the moment there is any actual proof that there is a danger. Think about it. Right now, all she has is Celestia saying there is a danger, its all theoretical and considering Celestia is the focus of her ire, disregarding what she has to say makes sense when your really emotional. The second it becomes real, I doubt Twilight would remain on the sidelines.
4893186
Hey! Someone finally got what I was trying to convey with this! You get a gold star!
(Insert a picture of a gold star here because I'm too lazy to find one)
Recent developments have made it so that this story will be continued, and what you're saying ehre plays a big part in the coming chapter.
There should be a comma after 'Celestia', not a period.
I suggest that you put the letters in italics. It's common for authors to put letters in italics, and it also looks better, although that might just be my opinion:
Also, I would recommend using something more descriptive than 'Equestria has a problem' in the letter to Twilight, such as:
No means no, huh? Sounds like somepony's tired of being a doormat!
Iron Will's Assertiveness Training worked for Princess Twilight...imagine what it will do for you!
As an introductory gift, Iron Will will throw in an E-Z Bake Oven! Call now, goats are standing by!
I found this very interesting. I'd love to see what would happen if this ever came up in the show.
glimpse*
Gimps are fairly versatile, but I fail to see how they could help Spike see the letter lol.
Liked the story btw.
Meh...
This would be better as part of a bigger story...but laid as it is...it feels terribly sudden.
Twilight sounds rather selfish but I can understand how she would feel if she was always at the beck and call of Celestia.
Time and time again, the unicorn turned alicorn had to leap into the fray and save Equestria. But how is she able to say no really, this is so much bigger than her. The mane six should be able to live their lives without worry of the elements, at least think of a plan to teleport them back in case of emergency. No one's life should be put on hold because of this.
I can see why this was featured
Definitely was brought up an awesome theory, Celestia planning out Twi's life from the very beginning.
You never fail to impress, Kodeake.
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Rainbow Dash was in for a tryout and then later joined the reserves
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Celestia couldn't beat Nightmare Moon or Discord, Twilight and the others did. Celestia's power and experience don't mean much
glimpse
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*slow claps* Can't wait to see the fall out chapter. But know Twilight's an Immortal Alicorn, she has all the millenia in the world to say "I told you so".
4894620 what if spike is trying to get a gimp?
Perhaps that should say 'Celestia'. When I first read it, I thought it was Twilight sending for help and the Element said no, because the only 'she' mentioned in the description is Twilight so that's how it reads.
An AU tag is not carte blanche to completely rewrite a character. Twilight is not a whiney, selfish bitch who loathes Celestia. If that wasn't what you were trying to convey, then you did a poor job, because that's all that comes across.
4892549 Okay For Nightmare Moon. Celestia already proved she couldn't cure Luna of her alter ego. Price of using the elements alone. They needed new bearers. Frankly this was all a gamble on Celestia's part to get her sister back. Can you really blame her for that? Discord. Luna and Celestia together couldn't beat him. They needed the elements, which are currently bonded to the mane 6 thus again Mane 6 had to go first. The Wedding. unplanned and Celestia takes action. But fails since Shining's love made Chrysalis more powerful then her. Crystal Empire, she sent Cadance first, then Twilight and this time for Twilight's research abilities with a side of a test of her potential as an alicorn.The magical Mystery cure was the final test which Twilight made herself an alicorn. TIrek she sent Discord first then made the flawed plan of giving Twilight all alicorn magic. Twilight has to face it. she and her friends are the A team for defense of Equestria. the sister are the B team.
I love Twilight's character, but the fact that she might actually feel this way if something gave way to it is actually scary to me. I'm pretty sure this can't happen, but if some pony just nudge her in that direction, it could happen.
I usually don't go for "oh boy evil princesses" fics, but what with your actually very in-character presentation of Twilight...
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Seriously, where's the Equestrian Citizens' Mage-licia when you need it
?