A'right, I read it and I have my two cents for it!
The chapter's pacing is good, it is very close to how the actual game was paced, so you did a great job with that!
However, the lack of editors is visible, there are many it's in it which should be its.
Besides that, the sentences are running too long and have too many commas, but those can be easily fixed.
So, the chapter is good but needs a mandatory proofreading! That is all!

Let's continue on, how about we see the entire 'playthrough'?
Or maybe you should bring in a twist?..

-Zeph

Man I started tracking this a few months ago, never expected it to update. I applaud you!

8315062
Well, to be entirely honest I never thought I'd continue it either! But I'm glad I did! It helps to know people still read it after 3 years!

This is AWESOME

8317518
Thank you!!