• Member Since 26th Feb, 2012
  • offline last seen Mar 23rd, 2013

TheGreatAndPowerfullHaje


T

One night, a broken and lonely Scootaloo decides to get a drink, only to run into an old friend who has become quite the entertainer. Through her Scootaloo gets reintroduced to more old friends, and is forced to deal with some feelings both old and new.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 41 )

A few issues with grammar, but it has peaked my curiosity, so I'll stick around and keep an eye on it.

Okay... you've got me slightly interested, and that description would pull anypony in, but there's just a few things. The dialogue seems a bit forced in some places, and toward the part where Scootaloo first meets the barmaid, I believe a few sentences overlap into the same paragraph. Also, in a few questioning statements, there is only a period, whereas I'm used to seeing question marks. If you could recheck the punctuation a bit, I would love that, and you, so much.

Other than that, it's looking really good so far, and I can't wait to see who else Scootaloo runs into. (Diamond Tiara perhaps? Wouldn't that create some tension?) Unlike a few other stories I've read (and one I'm proofreading for) it's not that bad of a concept. You pull it off well, giving us just enough to visualize the scene, yet still leaving us with just enough leeway to make it our own view. I love it when authors do that.

-Randomosity19

While it most certainly needs the touch of an editor, I like where it's going. Please continue.

You need..... an editor.

Otherwise, wasn't bad at all.

464408

I Really, Really do need an editor. I'll give see if I can fix some things this friday before I upload the next chapter.

I may follow this, it does seem interesting.

It's like the reverse of "The Gambler." Very nice. Loved the little "Loose Legs" slip :scootangel:

Loose Legs...that was positively Freudian. :facehoof:

I noticed "The Gambler" reference too, if it was meant to be in there. I forgot I even tracked this fic. But I'm not dissapointed at the chapter.

529560

It was meant to be in there. I've had that wonderfull song stuck in my head all week.

530294
It's one of my favorite songs, second only to piano man by billy joel.

This is coming along pretty good.

Love this story! cant wait for the next chapter!

583793

The next chapter is almost done and will be posted somewhere tomorrow. And I'm glad you like it!

Be careful, 'break the cutie' moments are difficult to pull off right, so only put it in if you are absolutely certain you can pull it off.

Otherwise, don't. If you fail to pull it off, then you are in for a world of fan backlash.

612422

Well I wouldn't go all Somber on Sweetie Belle and destroy everything she loves. But I get what you're saying.

This is great, can't wait for more :)

Depends on what it is, really.

Reveal that Rarity is sleeping with that minotaur? Traumatizing but HILARIOUS. Do it.

Have Bob or someone else sexually assault Sweetie? No. Just no.

An interesting chapter. I could have called "lesbian Twist", which is good. :twistnerd: Other than that... eh. It's alright i do suppose.

I don't have time to point them out, but you need an editor. I saw several simple mistakes. Or at least slow down and double check.
Good chapter though.

622261

How does one get an editor? And yeah you're right I'll probably give it a better spel check tomorrow when I've sobered up.

wow... that beginning.... just wow

613942 actually, I'd rather bob sexually assault sweetie
AND DON'T INSINUATE I'M A CLOPPER, it just makes a better story

YES, SCOOTALOO SAID EXACTLY WHAT I SAY IN THSOE SITUATIONS

649552 613942 Bob is in no way going to sexually assault Sweetie. I could never do that to the second best CMC.

650371

So the Minotaur is still on the table.
:rainbowdetermined2:

I really don't know what to say about traumatizing Sweetie. Personally, I wouldn't go for it.

you could always ask your fellow bronies or readers to act as an editor or pre-reader. I'd volunteer, but I'm not edting for anyone for a while due to real-life stuff.

you better chose your shipping wisely my friend...
Or I will hunt you down...

I love this story. I really hope that you don't give it up and will continue it, as soon as you feel like it. Just don't forget about it :pinkiesad2:

Well i hope you can continue this its really an amazing story :moustache::trollestia::trollestia::trollestia::scootangel::moustache:

I really like how you put blackjack and glory in there nice touch. made me love this story even more.

650371
Nice story, is there a chance it will be finished anytime soon? :fluttershysad:

650371
Nice story, I sure hope you will finish this sometime soon :/ :fluttershysad: This could turn out pretty well.
At least give us readers a sign that you're alive or what are your plans with this story :)
Best wishes! :pinkiehappy:

I just want to say holy shit that was a dark beginning :fluttercry:but it got so much nice when they found each other:rainbowkiss:

466352 I'm thinking of becoming an editor if you need one:twilightsheepish:

Scootaloo blushed furiously. Nobody was supposed to know about that. It was a onetime thing, they’d run into each other in some club called ‘The Living Tombstone.’ Named after the famous DJ.

*squeee*

7222322 Yeah! Please don't abandon this fic.

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