- Member Since 22nd Jul, 2014
- offline last seen Apr 22nd, 2021
A_Mormon Brony
I am, first and foremost, a Mormon. So, expect to see scriptural references in my stories.
A_Mormon Brony
Joined 22nd Jul, 2014 ·
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Assuming this story is approved, I'm not sure at what interval I should publish new chapters. In total, including the introduction and a possible conclusion, there'll be as many as eleven chapters.
Should I publish a chapter every week? two weeks? four weeks? every month? two months? I could use advice on this.
I've already decided on a schedule for releasing chapters. As I mentioned in my notes at the end of the first chapter, I'll be publishing one chapter every two weeks from the time I published the introduction and the first chapter. So, you can disregard my first comment.
In the mean time, I have one question about the concluding notes for this volume. And that is, what would you like to see in them? A weakness in the game or characters that could be exploited? Perhaps cheat codes that could be used? Or maybe possible outtakes? I have, for this volume and the next one, which I'm calling "Success," one win and one lose outcome. Are there any other likely outcomes that might be added? I'm open to suggestions on what else could be added, within reason.
Congratulations! You are "Cupcakes" remake/spinoff/sequel #37,943!
This is a failure indeed.
<Hops onto the pedestal of the grand public forum>
Friends! Bronies! Countrymen! Lend me your ears! Can we please stop making spinoffs and sequels of Cupcakes, Rainbow Factory, and the Conversion Bureau? Seriously, they all were pretty fucking dumb on their own and each crappy sequel has just made them even more deserving of scorn. Any story written in these universes will likely be too tainted by original sin anyways.
<Hops off of the pedestal>
I find it funny how the name of the first volume describes the whole story.
Yes, I'm fully aware that the basis of my story is not the most original anyone's ever come up with. After seeing video variations of the Cupcakes story on Youtube, I won't delude myself into thinking it is. Besides, for the purposes of the game and the next volume, the Cupcakes sequence is the failure, and will lead to a bad ending.
Having said that, I do believe I have some original ideas I will be demonstrating in this story. For instance, I have my own theory, which I will begin to show in the fourth chapter, of what makes Pinkie Pie what she is. In the fifth chapter and beyond, I examine the idea of the elements possibly being passed to other ponies. And, after telling scriptural stories, or at least referring to them, in chapters three and four, there are no more scriptural references until chapters seven and eight.
In conclusion, having said what I've already said, if the only critique I get is that my story is a Cupcakes variant; and I get no critiques on grammar, syntax, or spelling; I'm going to have to assume that my story really isn't so bad after all.
It wasn't my intention to discourage comments altogether. I do welcome opinions and questions on my story, both what I've published so far, and what I plan to publish in the future.
Is there anything about my story that you liked so far? Please let me know. Is there anything you disliked about my story? Again, please let me know. Do you have any questions on things you've read in my story to date, or do you have suggestions on how the story can be better? If so, then let me know in the comments.
awesome chapters you are doing a amazing job i can't wait for the next chapter
5141869
I appreciate the compliment. I wonder, is there anything you liked in particular?
Well I like how Mormon keep encouraging the Mane 6 to keep going when they are losing their friends and losing hope of their friend, Pinkie Pie. What will happen to her will she face justice or will Mormon kill her. I'm curious what will happen in the next chapter and i'm honestly liking the story so far.
Your story is one of the best stories i ever reading
5144449
I'm glad you like the story so far. This volume ends with the death of Pinkie Pie, as is mentioned in Chapter 7, and there are only two enumerated chapters left to publish in this story.
Mormon in this story is like David in the Bible. Just as David wouldn't kill King Saul because he was anointed of God, so Mormon won't kill Pinkie Pie because she bears an element of harmony. Of course, Mormon won't kill Pinkie Pie even if she gives up her element.
In effect, by the end of chapter seven, Pinkie Pie has already been brought to justice. She just needs to be tried for her crimes, and will be given the choice whether she'll change her ways or not. If she chooses not to change, she'll face execution.
If you have any other questions, please feel free to ask.
That's was a awesome chapter. I'm excited to see what will happen next and i honestly feel bad that pinkie pie is dead but that was a great chapter so far you are doing a amazing job.
5258213
I'm glad you enjoyed it. All I have left to release are the concluding notes, and after that I plan on submitting the next volume, Success, in December. In the mean time, if you have any ideas for what can go in those notes, besides what I've already mentioned, please let me know.
I'm considering doing a Q&A for this fanfic as part of the Concluding Notes. So, anyone who has questions about it, please feel free to post them.
Also, after I've published the Concluding Notes, I plan to do a final proofread of each chapter before declaring this story complete.
If I'm noticing one thing about the "Related Stories," it's that, unlike my first fan fic, they've all gotten more positive votes than negative.
As soon as I'm finished proofreading this fan fic, which should be today, I'll be marking it complete. So, my first MLP fan fic will be a Complete Failure. But, I'll be submitting Success soon afterward, and I guess I'll see what stories will be related to that.