- Member Since 22nd Jul, 2014
- offline last seen Apr 22nd, 2021
A_Mormon Brony
I am, first and foremost, a Mormon. So, expect to see scriptural references in my stories.
A_Mormon Brony
Joined 22nd Jul, 2014 ·
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Those are amazing chapters i can't wait to read the next and great work on your last story it was awesome
Please feel free to offer opinions on what you like and/or dislike about my stories. As for this one, do you like how I intend this to be a Cupcakes opposite, or at least the opposite of my first fan fic? What about my choice of having readings of the Book of Mormon in this story? Also, please feel free to ask any questions you might have. I just might answer them in these comments, or in chapters as they're ready to be released.
Awesome chapters you are doing a amazing job i can't wait for the next chapter
You know, one thing I wonder about is how many people would pay money to play a game like this, that's not about characters blindly obeying the gamer, but answering him or her back when they have something appropriate to say.
As for the game I've been writing about here, I'd pay money to get my hands on a game like this and play it. I'll admit I purchased the game Hey You, Pikachu just on it being a communications game, even if it was extremely primitive. I admit, if Pikachu could've responded to more than commands, and responded with a greater range of emotions, then I'd likely still be playing it now.
I still think there's room in the gaming market for games where the gamer talks to the characters in the game, even if that's all they can do.
Awesome chapters you are doing a amazing job
One of my favorite parts of this chapter is Diane Pie, not demonstrating any emotion, saying, "Ow." I wonder, for those who've read this chapter, or perhaps this volume, or the series to date, what's been your favorite part so far?
And, on the subject of the Hey, Batter! series, can anyone guess what my theory about Pinkie Pie might be?
My personal favorite part of this chapter was seeing Pinkie Pie, after finding out that Zecora was Mormon's friend, turning around and actually defending Zecora. Then, there's also that remark about the curse of Daffy Duck.
I have to say, I had a lot of fun making all the reference jokes to middle earth and the Wizard of Oz. And, thus far, of the scripture readings in this story, the one in this chapter is my favorite.
Having said that, I have one question about the stories in the "Similar" list: Why do all the stories starring Pinkie Pie have the "sex" tag? I will demonstrate in this story that if another one involves the reproductive process or act, whether between a human and a pony or between two ponies, or between any two creatures for that matter, it is not similar to this story.
It made sense to me that Pinkie Pie must have some kind of back story explaining why she hated parasprites so much, and the story I gave her made the most sense to me. Whether I'm right or not, I guess we'll never know; but it's still fun to theorize about things that aren't explained in the My Little Pony Friendship is Magic show.
I think my favorite part of this chapter was Mormon talking to Applebloom when she was trying to get customers to buy apples from her and her sister.
I found it unfortunate that they really didn't get to Rainbow Dash's concern about her dress. So, considering the kind of creature she is, I figured it made sense to give her the kind of concern I did. And, what better way to discover that concern than the way I have Mormon addressing it? And, that's what makes that my favorite part of this chapter.
I don't know that I could've added anything to the story of the episode that could've made it any better than what was already there. Certainly it was great to see all of Rarity's friends join together and help her in her time of need.
If there's a plot hole, an opportunity, or a typographical error I missed, please feel free to let me know about it.
Conversely, if there's a part of this story you particularly liked, I'd like to hear about that, too.
I think my favorite part of this chapter was having Mormon follow subject Twilighticus Sparkelus around and keeping her from getting seriously hurt. Then again, I'm not sure whether the escape from the hydra or Twilight deciding to believe Pinkie Pie's Pinkie sense and Pinkie's sense confirming it was the real climax.
Having said that, I was pleasantly surprised to see two new votes of approval the day after I released this chapter, the longest I've written of this story. I do hope this will be the longest, although I can't say for sure if there won't be another chapter or episode that gives me a lot to work with.
I thought it'd be an interesting idea to have Pinkie Pie fall in love with Mormon, and then have him learn to live with an enamored earth mare while keeping the relationship between them tidy. What do you think? Is there a way Mormon could use Pinkie Pie's new feelings for him to strengthen their friendship without involving sex?
Also, in the case of Mormon referring to Filthy Rich as Filthy or Mr. Filthy, there are two reasons for this. First of all, I thought it kind of funny to think of my main character addressing the brown earth stallion that way. Second of all, considering that Mormon does own up to making fun of the pony's name, I hope to demonstrate that, while Mormon does still make mistakes, he's also willing to own up to them.
In other news, in the next few days, I'll be submitting a new story, with the first published chapter. I plan on this being a worst-case scenario involving another member of the six main characters, but not inspired by a fan fiction I'm familiar with. I've written the story as a murder mystery, in which the murderer is revealed at the beginning of the second half of the story. The way I have it planned, I should publish the climax chapter on Halloween, and the final chapter two weeks afterwards. My reason for this is that I hope to inspire another writer to write a best-case scenario the way I was inspired by Sergent Sprinkles. And, I've taken great care to avoid even mentioning blood in the story. So, I hope you enjoy it.
Considering Rainbow Dash's behavior in the episode "Sonic Rainboom," I wouldn't be surprised if Fluttershy's statement about her practice attempts versus her performance in front of an audience affected the rainbow-haired pegasa more profoundly than Fluttershy might've realized; and I've tried to reflect that in this chapter. And, who knows? Maybe if Rainbow Dash'd had something, or some pony, to distract her from her worries, maybe she would've approached her performance with more confidence, or at least less doubt. That's the theory I've tried to convey in this chapter.
Now, on the subject of leaving a comment, for those of you who are worried about the scriptural quote I used to start the Introduction, please keep in mind that there's a difference between pointing out a typographical error, for instance, and saying that the story is no good because of that error.
From what I've read in the Bible and the Book of Mormon, based on my understanding, the cockatrice, at least in the Middle East, was some kind of poisonous snake. I have seen at least one incarnation of the cockatrice, before the episode of My Little Pony Friendship is Magic "Stare Master," as being a really large chicken. As for the reptilian nature, "Stare Master" is the first one I've seen that had that.
I didn't exactly plan for a scriptural reference in the reading to occur in the same chapter as the appearance of the cockatrice. But, since it occurred, I figured I might as well run with it.
One of the things I wanted to cover in this chapter was the precedent to a chapter I might write in a future volume, one based on the episode, "Baby Cakes." I addressed that possibility in this chapter by writing the segment early in the chapter based on the first part of that episode. I have a story in mind to write, which I plan on being a prequel to the first volume of this series. And, after that, if there's a demand for it, I'll release at least one more volume to this series. But, first I'd like to finish this one.
Beyond that, I did want to have a chapter in which Mormon spends time with the Cutie Mark Crusaders, and finds out why they want their cutie marks in the first place. Considering their age, I wouldn't be surprised if peer pressure is the main reason why they want their marks. I also wouldn't be surprised to see Applebloom, Sweetie Belle, and Scootaloo get their cutie marks at some different times; and, i wonder if they'll be what the Crusaders expect them to be. Would their marks connect to their talents? Or, would they reflect some other aspect about them? Could it be that they know what their talents are, and either don't know that they know, or don't want to acknowledge them?
In this chapter, I do over my honest opinion of the Bohemian Rhapsody. And, I do consider the Crusaders' performance in that talent at the end of "Show Stoppers" a parody of that piece. If I'd found it a tribute instead of a mockery, I would never have watched the episode again.
In this chapter, I figured it'd be a good idea to give Weed Whacker a bit of back story involving the diamond dogs. While I've decided not to specify how she learned the things she did about the diamond dogs, I just thought she'd be a good source for information on their procedures for abducting victims, then discouraging rescuers.
Having said that, I also thought it'd be fun to have Mormon, having one of the diamond dogs trying to stop him, politely invite him to dig out the hole he'd chosen, and for the dog to respond by accepting and digging the hole out again.
Here's something that may be of interest to the readers of this chapter: I have a three-terabyte Seagate hard drive that I used to use for external storage. Then, while I was working on this chapter, that hard drive started messing with my computer. Now, I've studied physics for scientists and engineers in college, and from that I've learned that capacitors, when they reach full capacity, become resistors; and I think that's what happened to that hard drive. And, I think the capacitor in question must be in the main, crucial circuit of the hard drive, which would've kept it from functioning at all after it reached full capacitance.
It took a few months before I could get my original manuscript of this chapter, and, in the mean time, I wrote and rewrote chapter twenty-two. Fearing that I wasn't going to be able to write this chapter, I made references to the scripture reading in this chapter at the beginning of chapter twenty-two.
Since then, I have been able to write and rewrite this chapter, which replaced the original manuscript when I was able to rescue a lot of document files from that hard drive, which I have nicknamed "'ard drive L." But, considering that the references to the reading would likely be helpful to readers of the next chapter, I kept them in there.
If you like the references in the following chapter to the reading in the previous chapter, please let me know. If you don't like them, please let me know. This is the only time I've done this, but I could do more if my readers request it.
This is the last chapter where my character reads with the residents in Ponyville, except for the element bearers. In the mean time, I did have fun deciding whether my character should follow Pinkie Pie everywhere she goes, or let the pink party pony proceed on her own. Also, it seems to me that it'd make more sense for Twilight to reveal Spike's secret in a situation where she felt safe, rather than in the dressing room where she was acting like she was in an interrogation.
Also, Mormon being a coach for Pinkie Pie on how she should approach Twilight's situation seemed to me like the best position for him. And, in the end, when she did reveal Spike's secret, it made sense to me that Pinkie Pie would still show some level of support for her. And, Photo Finish coming to the rescue by making her employees promise to keep the revealed secret or be fired made sense to me.
All in all, it was fun writing this chapter. As much fun as it was writing the previous ones.
Here's something that you may find interesting.
When I first labelled this chapter, it and the next one, were going to be one chapter covering the episode, "Over a Barrel." I was going to call the chapter, "Bison Meet Apples, Apples Meet Bison." But then, when I actually got to the chapter, I realized it was going to be a two-day event; so, I split it up into two chapters. I've found it actually works out better that way.
In other news, right now I'm in the process of doing an initial write of the last episode-based chapter. When that's complete, I'll go through my normal process of rewriting it, then filling in the chapter on this page. Then it'll be ready for me to proofread two more times before I publish it early next year. In the mean time, I plan to have one more chapter after that, and before the conclusion.
One thing I've found interesting is how I've changed minds as I've worked on this story, as well as another story I've been publishing. And, I've noticed that the charts don't seem to accurately reflect that change. If I'm reading the changes correctly, a few voters who had previously disapproved of this story, at least, are now approving of it. And, I do appreciate that. I just find it strange that the chart isn't showing how my votes of disapproval have gone down. I wonder, has anyone else had the experience of having this kind of change in approval ratings?
I am familiar with the concept of the pot luck dinner. In the cannon of this story, it made sense to me to have such a dinner suggested to the bison and the Appleoosans. And, who knows? Maybe with a better understanding of both sides of the "Over the Barrel" story, two level heads could've come together and discussed the situation, leading to an agreement between the two parties.
In other news, I have the rest of the chapters to this story written out, rewritten, and entered into their files on this site, ready to publish as they're scheduled. I also have another story in the works, a prequel to the Failure volume. Chances are it'll be completed before I've published all the chapters to this story.
Also, since I've done the final proofreads of all the chapters of "The Pegasa's Pizzeria" and marked it complete, i now have more time to catch up on the reading of chapters that've been published in the mean time; and I do have some ideas in mind for my worst-case scenario story for Twilight Sparkle. And, seeing how successful "The Pegasa's Pizzeria" was, I look forward to seeing how that next story is received.
In this chapter, I thought I'd show Mormon helping Pinkie Pie by becoming a part of one of her dreams. In this dream, there's the version of Pinkie from the Cupcakes fan fiction, which represents how she can become evil without Mormon's help, or perhaps with his help. But, there's also an alicorn version of Pinkie Pie, representing how she can become even better with Mormon's help. Since the Cupcakes version also appears in the fan fiction "Silent Ponyville," I have that represented in the first half of the chapter title. The second half is represented by the alicorn version of Pinkie Pie. And, for those who see the similarity between this title and a certain Christmas song, that was intentional, as is the connection to the first volume of "Hey, Batter!". As is told in this chapter, because Mormon failed the game first, he allowed Pinkie Pie to see the impossibility of getting the Cupcakes Pinkie Pie's cutie mark dress.
In other news, I'm continuing work on the prequel volume to Failure, which may be fully input before I'm finished publishing all the chapters to this volume. And, while there won't be any readings as there have been in this volume, that doesn't mean it'll be completely free of scriptural references.
I do see similarities in how Princess Celestia's pet Philomena dies and revives, and in the LDS view of resurrection. But, that doesn't mean they are exactly the same. The description of resurrection Mormon gave in the story is what Mormons believe on the subject.
Beyond that, as many times as I've watched that episode, and seen Philomena fall from that statue and burst into flames before landing in Fluttershy's hooves, I still don't find that phoenix's performance that convincing. Funny, yes. Convincing, no.
Now, for the last three episode-based chapters, I've decided to explore a theory of mine, to answer, based on my own opinion, what would happen if Pinkie Pie were to break a Pinkie promise. I believe the answer to that question lies in the Pinkie promise itself. And, that's all I'll say about it right now.
Starting with the title, I like how, when I read it, my first thought as that the next line would be "Happy are we, happy are we."
Now, as for the story in the chapter, specifically the back story of Weed Whacker, well, after all, she's very young. So, she wouldn't have much of a story just yet.
Then there's Lyra, whose back story is just my head cannon about her.
The thing I like about the "Alternate Universe" tag is I can assign whatever personality and history I want to characters, and it works within my universe.
I have had positive experiences with fasting, including improved health. And, I hope that I have reflected that with Pinkie Pie in this story.
The red dragon showing up at Mormon's door the day before Spike invades his home makes sense to me. And, as for the comets flying in all directions and into each other without collision detection, it shows that, even with an ideal run, some bugs will show up that need to be worked out.
In the scriptures it's written that, when one goes out intending to do evil, the spirit withdraws from him. I'm hoping that Mormon's conversation with Spike, first trying to persuade him not to go through with his plan of setting up Owlowiscious, then leaving him to his own devices when the little dragon refuses Mormon's advice, is something of a live, if fictional, demonstration of that.
In this chapter, I start to explore my head cannon as to what would happen if Pinkie Pie were to make a Pinkie promise she couldn't keep. And, I do take the wording of the promise, especially the last half of it, into consideration. Whether she'd do that something like it to a friend that would make a Pinkie promise and not keep it, well, who knows? Would she do it to herself? I think she would.
In the animated series, Pinkie Pie never breaks a Pinkie promise; so, chances are we can only ever theorize what would happen if she ever did break one. But, like I've said before, I think the answer to such a question lies in the wording of the promise: "Cross my heart and hope to fly, stick a cupcake in my eye." I do believe she's serious about that, and might just have a specially-prepared cupcake that she might use on herself if she ever did break a Pinkie promise. And, this matter isn't over quite yet.
On another subject, I found this probably one of the most personally interesting chapters to write. Mormon trying to bring Pinkamena out the way he did? And, after all, for all intents and purposes, one could say that he's directing his speech to a part of himself. And, how many of us would have the courage to look into the eyes of someone who's withdrawn and try to talk them back out again?