• Published 10th Jul 2014
  • 824 Views, 13 Comments

Rain - CluelessDetective



Rarity sits back in a bar with smooth music in her ears and ponders several things in her life.

  • ...
2
 13
 824

Like Tears

Author's Note:

This is the song I imagined playing at Haven. Please, any constructive criticism is encouraged. This isn't my first rodeo, but my first time writing a story with no dialog save for the main character thinking to herself, so I would really appreciate constructive criticism.

So with no more delay, please enjoy Rain.

Tear drops. That's what they look like.

Rarity mused to herself as she quietly sipped on wine from her glass, looking outside to the rain loudly pounding on the asphalt road and on the bar's many windows. It was nice nights like this that the unicorn yearned to be out of her dwelling. Everything in Haven soothed her nerves, alcohol included with the soft piano and rain. It helped the lustrous mare calm down after a long day.

That seemed to be the thought process of the many patrons attending this establishment that surrounded her. There were mostly couples followed by groups and singles such as herself. She sat on the stool next to the bartender but It didn't bother her really. It warmed her heart to see mares of... a younger age than herself to find love early. She also wasn't giving her attention to them nor the wonderful music, just the calm rain trickling down the glass like her dark red date trickling down his glass into her alabaster throat.

What did bother her, however, was Spike and his feelings toward her. She looked to him as a sort of little brother or great friend, but him? He looked to her as a goddess, a sort of natural treasure. He would go to hell and back just to make her happy, and he probably thought she would do the same. That was the most damnable thing about that statement. She chugged the rest of her friend and asked the tender for one that was of a stronger breed. Whiskey on the rocks and told him to leave the bottle. He complied and Rarity grabbed the small glass, now swirling the glass and ice like her own thoughts.

Spike... was special to her, for a lack of a better word. She loved him being the naive baby dragon that he is, blissfully unaware of her true feelings. He seemed so content with the status quo, but if she was Rainbow she would tell him bluntly with no cushioning. If she was Applejack, she would turn it into some sort of white lie in order to protect them both. Either way, the purple dragon's soft heart would be shattered, but if she said she did love him in order to protect his heart, hers would be on the chopping block instead.

She downed her glass with no mercy and poured herself another victim. She didn't know what option was morally acceptable or even to her friends or to herself. For once in her years of coming here, the booze wasn't helping her see her problems clearly or helping her relax, it made them blurred like some sort of demented magic eye painting. No matter how she looked at it, it would never become a picture with sense. She could ask her friends, but the only one that knew much more about Spike than her was Twilight and she knew that she would be no help. Twilight would tell her not to hurt Spike's feelings and to tell the truth, but that was as impossible as moving the sun and moon at the same time with a normal unicorn. The two ideas were conflicting and there was no way to make both parties happy. No matter what, either Spike or herself would get hurt with her decision.

She used her elegant hands to fill her shot-glass to the brim once more. Twilight. That lavender alicorn was starting to worry Rarity with each passing day. Not of malicious intent mind you, but of concern for both her and her friends' safety.

It was with no stretch of the imagination that the six of them always went on some sort of over the top quest that always put their lovely lives in jeopardy, but now... now this idea of them being in a crisis kept punctuating her mind ever since Twilight was crowned princess. With her being a monarch, the odds of them being sent to some hostile place significantly increasing, along with the odds with Twilight's head meeting with a bullet. Whenever Rarity thought about it, her vision blurred and thoughts of her leaving her friends surfaced like a horrible tide of emotion. She didn't want to die.

She shook her head with a great force. Damn it, Rarity. She thought.

You're the Element of Generosity, yet you refuse to give your very life to your friends? Pathetic.

She figured she'd drown out the voice in her head. She hasn't been generous to her friends in quite sometime, their trip to the illustrious city of Manehatten showed her that plain as day. Extravagant gifts given to nobodies, and air given to friends. Hell, even Suri Polomare, whom she had the ever unlucky pleasure to meet on that day, was given more to her than she given her friends. Yes, they were given tickets to a great play, but she abused them before hand. They probably forgave her, but that voice in her head hasn't and probably never will.

She looked at her tall companion. Half full by the looks of it as she swished the brown liquid around. She squinted with the ebony watch on her wrist. Ten sharp. She placed a hefty bag of bits on the table and told the tender to keep the change. Luckily for her, she wasn't entirely intoxicated but under the influence no less. In fact, the hardest part about leaving wasn't calling a taxi to pick her up but leaving the establishment of broken dreams. She must've bumped into the wall a few times, but she got out. Hopping into the cab, she told him the directions and he complied.

The drive was silent. He wanted to ask her why she was there in the first place, but her face and composure told it all. He just hoped he could could taker her to her house before they experienced a accident. When the carousel was in distance he told her that the ride was free. She said nothing and sluggishly got out and unlocked her door.

She was happy that Sweetie Belle wasn't spending the night, instead being with their parents. It was better this way so she wouldn't have to explain where she was. Poor dear was easily impressionable.

When Rarity made it to her bed, she just collapsed, head on pillow. Everytime she went to Haven, the rain always found its way into her house.

Comments ( 12 )

I don't agree with the setup -- Rarity never asked for Spike to put her on the pedestal that he has. It's entirely his problem, even when taking into account not wanting to hurt his feelings. Kid's gonna have to grow up sometime. :rainbowlaugh:

That said, I do very much like how you portrayed Rarity's angst here. Good scene-setting. Double points for writing anthro fic that isn't just a vehicle for sex. :raritywink: I'm not even kidding. I wish people did that more.

4670487 Thank you very much! At first, it wasn't my intention to do anthro. I was searching up "Rarity at a Bar" in Google Images and came across this picture so I was like "Screw it, let's do it anthro!"

This is simply beautiful! Perfect to read on a calm night.

This was very good. Keep it up. I noticed a few errors near the end paragraphs like how you shifted from past to present tense for sec there, but the errors were minor that a proof reader or two would likely catch. It was still a good read. derpicdn.net/img/view/2012/12/21/189126__safe_pinkie+pie_adorable_silly_artist-colon-glamourkat.png

4671072 Thank you!


4673329 Thanks for the pointer! I'll make sure to get my next story proofread before getting submitted.

Glad you two enjoyed it!

That cover art is burned into my head
Brilliant quick story, my only gripe is that I wish it was longer, just a tad.
Cheers, mate


4670487

Double points for writing anthro fic that isn't just a vehicle for sex. I'm not even kidding. I wish people did that more.

You and me both. Maybe...yep I'm gonna do one.

Well written conflict, Poor Rarity.

Login or register to comment