About that job offer... do we need to meet face to face for that be a problem otherwise I may be interested. Also THANK CELESTIA FOT THE UPDATE!!! WOOHOO YES!!!
I am curious as to how powerful this female odor that each villianess coat dusk in. In my experience that smell disappears after a few days after the deed. Is it more of a magical odor rather than a physical?
5051916 That, and how Dusk used canterlock voice. Aren't only Alicorns able to use it? And if he was an Alicorn for this fic, wouldn't the Villainesses be refering him as Prince Dusk Shine assuming it was formal? Or maybe a mention that he is a prince/of his wings anytime during this fic?
So yeah, more of a plot hole than grammatical error. Do editors have rights to mess with these kind of stuff?
I find this chapter disappointing, seemingly unnecessary show elements added, and it seems like the villainesses are going from convincingly able to accomplish their goal of breaking and alienating Dusk to barely being able to hold it together. Like, Chrysalis just busts in with no detail and captures them, instead of being sneakier like the others, which would make her seem more in control of the situation, and make it look more like they really are vulnerable to others seeing them, but once they sufficiently get to Dusk Shine, he's their's. Maybe I'm wrong, but this gives me the vibe that they have no sense of control or real triumph in their plan anymore.
5054005 They're his enemies. Why would they want to acknowledge Celestia, Luna, Cadence OR Dusk's legitimacy? I'm pretty sure Chryssie called Cadence 'Princess' sarcastically.
5091131 Does every villain have control of everything? All the villains plan everything through right? Just keep reading and you will see what happens to the rest of them.
5093352 Okie Dokie Lokie, just thought it'd be better to say how I felt than not and let it screw up my perception of subsequent chapters if my worries were wrong. Specifically, my worries are that this story will just have the villains get by on just luck and ridiculous excuses. I don't mean anything towards you it's just that I hate it when a good story has the main characters, good or bad, get carried through the story by the author while sucking all the fun traits and tricks out of said characters, I hope I haven't come off as jerky or paranoid or anything. It was mostly swinging the whole "Eris reformed" thing out of nowhere with no current reason why then leading straight to Her Majesty Chrysalis.
Don't take this the wrong way, little Draco, I love the story but I really wish you would come up with more creative ways for taking away dusk's magic that fits the villain's character. For example, Eris would make Dusk's horn disappear like Discord did when the mane 6 fought him, Chrysalis would charm Dusk into submission or threaten to hurt Spike at any sign of resistance.
They could all attack simultaneously or together, making it that much more difficult to take them on. Together, they could overwhelm the Princesses. The Elements of Harmony were currently holding up the tree of Harmony so they couldn’t be able to use that either.
Hmmm...
——–-*-–——
“Princess Celestia wants to meet us on the field! Something about a special assignment. And to bring the Elements of Harmony with us.” He gave a confused look. Spike shrugged again.
——–-*-–——
With the task in mind and Fluttershy being helmed to be in charge of reforming Eris, Dusk and the other’s took their Elements.
“Alright girls, get ready. As soon as she is free, keep your Elements on in case he decides to go chaos.” All nodded. With that, he closed his eyes before opening them up and white filled his vision.
Hmm, tickle torture used on spike?
About that job offer... do we need to meet face to face for that be a problem otherwise I may be interested. Also THANK CELESTIA FOT THE UPDATE!!! WOOHOO YES!!!
Little bit of a time paradox, with u referencing the tree of harmony and the elements going into it. Then having them appear to release eris
It seems spike isn't being left out of the fun lets hope those female soilders dont break him..........man I have a dirty mind
Getting raped by pretty girls like that is never easy or something to be proud of, especially since they could have killed you.
Calling it now: Chrysalis in disguise.
That's awfully rude! Meaning she's dumb as a rock?
There are Changeling ladies turning into dragons for Spike. He's gonna have a goood night tonight.
Why are they tickling Spike...
I am curious as to how powerful this female odor that each villianess coat dusk in. In my experience that smell disappears after a few days after the deed. Is it more of a magical odor rather than a physical?
This chapter seems interesting.
5051916
That, and how Dusk used canterlock voice. Aren't only Alicorns able to use it? And if he was an Alicorn for this fic, wouldn't the Villainesses be refering him as Prince Dusk Shine assuming it was formal? Or maybe a mention that he is a prince/of his wings anytime during this fic?
So yeah, more of a plot hole than grammatical error. Do editors have rights to mess with these kind of stuff?
And spike is getting a face seating, getting oral and about to get laid with a lot of changeling females.... Or clones of ponies. Lucky lizard.
5054005 I did say near Canterlot voice...never using the actual voice.
5052618 i did mention that earlier, yes.
5054617 Must have slipped through then.
5054620 oh ok well I still feel sorry for Dusk Shine
Anyone else think that the torture they are giving Spike is a good old fashion tickle?
5056860 Fixing!
5056941 I do!!!
Will there be more soon
5085190 If I can get the next characteristics right hopefully soon.
I find this chapter disappointing, seemingly unnecessary show elements added, and it seems like the villainesses are going from convincingly able to accomplish their goal of breaking and alienating Dusk to barely being able to hold it together. Like, Chrysalis just busts in with no detail and captures them, instead of being sneakier like the others, which would make her seem more in control of the situation, and make it look more like they really are vulnerable to others seeing them, but once they sufficiently get to Dusk Shine, he's their's. Maybe I'm wrong, but this gives me the vibe that they have no sense of control or real triumph in their plan anymore.
5054005
They're his enemies. Why would they want to acknowledge Celestia, Luna, Cadence OR Dusk's legitimacy?
I'm pretty sure Chryssie called Cadence 'Princess' sarcastically.
5091131 Does every villain have control of everything? All the villains plan everything through right? Just keep reading and you will see what happens to the rest of them.
5093352 Okie Dokie Lokie, just thought it'd be better to say how I felt than not and let it screw up my perception of subsequent chapters if my worries were wrong. Specifically, my worries are that this story will just have the villains get by on just luck and ridiculous excuses. I don't mean anything towards you it's just that I hate it when a good story has the main characters, good or bad, get carried through the story by the author while sucking all the fun traits and tricks out of said characters, I hope I haven't come off as jerky or paranoid or anything. It was mostly swinging the whole "Eris reformed" thing out of nowhere with no current reason why then leading straight to Her Majesty Chrysalis.
That's it, Michael Myers ATTACK!
Don't take this the wrong way, little Draco, I love the story but I really wish you would come up with more creative ways for taking away dusk's magic that fits the villain's character. For example, Eris would make Dusk's horn disappear like Discord did when the mane 6 fought him, Chrysalis would charm Dusk into submission or threaten to hurt Spike at any sign of resistance.
Just some food for thought.
........
4 months later
man... I love this story so much. please update (no demand or anything, just quietly hoping)
5770096 soon... just need to plan a few more things.
5771533 yesssss...
Since Dusk called Rarity his best friend does that mean he has a secret crush on her, and afraid to tell anyone.
the changelings are tickling spike
Yay Chryssie!
Poor Spike, getting tickled into submission.
awesome. Dusk had his a ally but now purr Spike Ihope he is going to be ok.
Hmmm...
——–-*-–——
I smell witchery!
7603272
I was hoping for strangulation but that's fine too I guess