Grainne Smith is a young mare yearning for love and a little change. Quick Pick of the Apple clan is fresh off a desert adventure with his brothers, saddlebags heavy with gold and hooves sore from travel. In this story of early Ponyville, two of the apple-growing clans of Equestria collide, ultimately joining together and building a homestead for the generations of their family to come.
Now under revision/completion!
Granny (Grainne) Smith- Its an old Irish name for the patron of the Harvest.
Originally written as an entry for The Most Dangerous Game Contest
Chapters (4)
So.....apparently Granny Smith has lived since the late 1840's.....?hmmmm....
Good job sir! -tips hat-
Honestly if your first word of the description is horribly misspelled it gives a horrible outlook for the story.
4553833 I don't know that he misspelled it. He might've been trying to give her a name that makes more sense than naming your daughter "Granny."
4553833
"Grainne" is actually an old Irish name. Came from Irish settler stock myself and thought that it fit a young Granny Smith well. Check out the link of its pronunciation and definition I put in the Author's note-
http://audio.babynamesofireland.com/audio/grainne.mp3
SHIT FUCK CUNT BITCH SPODE ASBESTOS CHRIST THAT WAS A GOOD ONE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
4554126
Spode Asbestos Christ, those these words put together is just...magnificent
Brilliant!
I've been waiting for a this piece of literature for the longest time. It has always been upon my mind every time I thought of Granny Smith. And this art work puts my mind at ease simply just knowing that someone has the same ideal as I.
Keep up the good work! I await more of the artwork and encourage you fully with the full content of my heart too fully finish this story.
-Windchester
Beautiful.
Simply breath taking as I continue too into this fine art of literature. Which if I
May add fascinates me more and more as i read and reread, Each and every sentenced.
This fine art of literature captures me in suprising ways...
Everytime I reread I notice things that I have never noticed before. Amazing.
Too add on, What I really love most about this stry is imagery.
Its simply beautiful.
Stories that barely even hold a candle too this one; seem too trap me with their amazing imagery and scenery in a tight embrace that is Impossible too escape,
With this story, I actually feel like I'm there, ya know?
I feel the wind, I can taste the pies, I can see the many rows of apple trees and the grassy fields that carpet that strecthes miles as it covers the landscap.
I do believe this story is A "Quintessence"(Meaning, Everything in life has lead too this moment)
Simply Breath takingly beautiful....
Thank you. Thank you so much for this story. No! This masterpiece.
We your fellow fans await more.
Goodluck and happy writing
-Windchester
4599977
Wow. I sincerely thank you for your kind and encouraging words, good sir.
Thousand of dollars worth of checks burst into flames?
Joking. I know you meant cheeks.
4606028
Thank You for pointing that out!!! Please point out anything else that you might see, I'm about to submit this for the contest.
An excellent first story, mate. Vocabulary is extensive and compelling, and grammar is fine. Much better than my first sloppy efforts. This story is solid outside the context of the contest; and just as good, that was the whole point.
All in all, great job. Looking forward to seeing more content from you in the future, if this is any indication.
I can't help but think that getting your characters' names wrong -- Quick Pick is Quick Slice in the description, and Stinking Rich turns into Filthy partway through this story -- is not a sign of a good story. You've got some good stuff in here, but vigilance is the key to keep it well-presented.
4631587 cdn.derpiboo.ru/media/BAhbBlsHOgZmSSJVMjAxMi8xMi8yMi8yMF80NF8zNl8yODFfMTkwNjIyX19VTk9QVF9fc2FmZV9hbmltYXRlZF9ncmFubnlfc21pdGhfc3BvaWxlcl9zMDNlMDgGOgZFVA/190622__safe_animated_granny-smith_spoiler-s03e08.gif
Thanks for pointing that stuff out, I should've caught it...
This review is brought to you by Zero Punctuation Reviews
...As I sat here, tapping the tip of my pen lazily atop the tinged paper of mine, I felt completely content as I lounged and stared without aim. Wondering to myself, when I would ever try and mount the horse. “I suppose later.” I grumbled, picking up a controller, for which to wreck the noobs at the latest installment of Call of Battlefield IX. I smiled, tearing through wave after wave of racist 12 year-olds screaming profanity through their-Hello Kitty-headsets, while I cackled madly, spewing death everywhere and on everything.
Enough of that mindless dribble; And the Prairie Grass Blew is a thinly woven yarn used in the ill-fated loom that would eventually commit suicide-like a fat-man's trousers. This slice of stinky, french cheese tells the tale of a romance-lusting Granny -Grainne- Smith. Whom, of which, is charmed by a wayfarer of the Apple Clan, known as Quick Pick.
Said wayfarer, is fresh from the Palomino—the so-called desert of red sand. He arrives briskly in the newly emerging little town of Ponyville. Due to his disheveled and robust appearance, (and the giant wanker of knife hanging from his neck) Grainne decides that this is the kind of colt she wants snacking on her apple. After almost making a giant bullock of herself, she promptly does the most womanly thing in the world: drops the heavy pack of nopony-gives-a-fuck onto the poor bloke and drags him back to her house, where she proceeds to introduce him to her parents. And then after enough dicking around under the light of cliché romantic setting. They finally part ways, he leaves the next morning without as so much of a say-so, and at some point during the walk from the orchard to town, he decides to stay.
The massive ocean of middling this [story] treads water in, just seems to expand with every unhallowed word and sentence uttered by a similar demographic. Not a lot is wrong with the story despite the fact that it's a classic cookie-cutter cliche, found sitting at the check out of the nearest Hastings, hoping to be a cool, impulse buy. Let's not forget the rather apparent fact this man seems to have failed all his high school english classes.
Exempli gratia:
WTF is goodly? I don't remember my english teacher prattling on about the use of such a word in the english language. Perhaps I missed such a day, whilst I was surrounding myself with the clear-cut diamonds of ignorance, instead letting my head sink beneath the putrescent waters of knowledge. Shall I let you teach me basic arithmetic, next? I pray to the sun during the lesson you don't mix up the add and multiply symbols, as well as the divide and subtract. Or shall you teach me the correct way to blow my nose into my sleeve, then slap it onto piece of paper, and call it a story?
Where commas seem to be most appropriate, a dash replaces it. Oh, the turgid pike off annoyance! Its jamming itself into my head. It hurts… “Dashes are occasionally used to set off and emphasize information. Jessica Mitford wrote a scathing critique of the funeral industry—and touched up an uproar.” He said with a posh tone, his thumb and fore-finger pressing precariously upon the barrel of his fountain pen, as he looked down at you with the parental and educator, patented, eyes of discontent.
The diction is short and concise just the way I like it. Even though I am a man of many syllables as well. Though that does not mean I prefer reading the scientific name of every part of the body e.g. dong, also known as the dicikus flabbus.
Now onto grammar. Correct... er mostly. I realize as a writer myself that it is easy to overlook your own mistakes. Mine include the romance in Gradus Simplicis, the first version of The Harper's Rose, now known as Sigh No More, and every prior version of Comeback Story. Enough of my mistakes, lets focus on yours.
I'm going to assume you meant to write the words, expression and latter. For someone like me who can overlook the slightest of typos, without so much even a glint of annoyance. However, this is a misdemeanor. Im not going to let it slide, but I'll sure as hell give you tartarus for this transgression.
Also mister writer, sir!
“Yes?” You say smugly, holding your coffee cup with two hands like an asshole.
I have a question.
“Well what is it my boy? Speak up and I shall answer your question.”
Oh, well... it's just...
“Yes? Yes? It's what?”
What the fuck is this?!
“Um... Excuse me?” You asked. Your face now contorted with confusion.
This, for the love of all that is shiny and bright! The goddamn perspective changes! It feels like my consciousness is cheap, sidewalk prostitute, constantly switching from Quick Pick, to a third-person limited standpoint. I mean you if want a first-person perspective, by all means, have a first person perspective from both Granny and Quick Pick. But by no fucking means change to a third-person. Also how the fuck does a dream have active cognition in the first place?
For the love of god if you can miss even the most glaring errors, then you must have your entire head shoved so far up your own ass, to the point of which your own head could come out of your own throat.
As I sit here now pretending that I have a rudimentary understanding of what romance is like, even for a lonely bugger such as myself. You, my friend, take that cake from me. Way to buy the cheap polyester of romance, and knit the goddamn thing to Luna's moon and back again.
I'll give you a props on all the things you managed not to fuck up: spelling, and how to put a glass over a flame. Single-handedly ruining the slight glimmer of light, representing the small amount of hope I have for finding a heaven-high romance on this faust forsaken website. As for the matter of applause, I believe you deserve no more than a unrequited poetry-slam symbol of endearment… otherwise known as a light snap of the fingers.
6050200
That was great, and surprisingly not too harsh for what this is. Thanks?
6050253 Well, I suppose I could have been way more sarcastic, snide, and just a downright douche... but hey, you have the honor of being my first review. My pen is not as sharp as twitterdicks... but it will be.