- Member Since 28th Apr, 2014
- offline last seen May 28th, 2015
ConfusementIsKey
I'm your sexy horse goddess of love, come down from far up above ~
ConfusementIsKey
Joined 28th Apr, 2014 ·
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Ooooo. I'll read it now!
4520654 Have at it.
preform -> perform
Otherwise sound. Thing is, that was a lie out of Dash there. This whole thing was staged as a test for our young sociopath.
Not the best: we don't get a real sense of character from anyone and our protagonists motivations and methods are downright nonsensical, including them knowing about the factory just because.
Also, while obviously it's Rainbow Factory, Rainbow Dash seems way out of character for her portrayal in that verse.
4520750
4520752
Thank you for your opinions, I will use those tips to get better as an author. Thank you.
I quite liked it. You made a very evil character.
4520836 Thank you, Ms. Night. Your comment is very much appreciated.
4520769
Nice to see an author who can appreciate constructive criticism, that'll be very helpful for improving and I look forward to seeing future efforts.
4520861 Airheads and haters do not improve if they do not see reason. Criticism is reason, so I will go with it.
4520872
You've got a very healthy attitude for a writer.
4520877 Isn't that how writers become better?
4520892
Yes it is but you'd be astonished how rare it is for writers to actually have that attitude, far too many REFUSE to see the flaws in their work for any reason.
4520897 I refuse to act that immature. I realize that me, nor what I write, is perfect. In fact, I look forward to seeing people point out something that I didn't. In the future, it will help me to be come more experienced and an astonishing writer. The people out there who see criticism as threats or just to be mean don't exactly have their head wrapped around the whole method of being a GOOD author. Shame, because I am young and know the full method while there are grown people out there that act like my age.
4520918
Exactly, which is why I have faith in you improving and producing some great writing; you actually listen to people. You're not so far wrapped into your own ego you can't comprehend that your work may be flawed, rather you embrace that and use it to move on and improve. Again it's astonishing how rare that is and it's a pleasant surprise to see.
4520922 I will admit, I do act a little cocky from time to time, but I don't let that interfere with my writing. Anywhere but my writing.
A few spelling errors here and there, but otherwise I liked this enough to fave it.
As for RD having a slightly different characterization here than in the original, I'll just assume that this one takes place prior to it, when RD would not be as insane.
I liked this alot