24: A Merry Flutter Christmas, part 2 - Operation Fluffy Christmas
Helen leaned back at her desk, the scowl on her face quite unseasonal, even if it was her usual expression. She had developed excellent plans for what she would do, once she saw the RED Team preparing to celebrate 'Christmas' for that tiny pony. Such wondrous plans of carnage, mayhem, and misery, painting the holiday red with blood and leeching every last bit of genuine anguish she could from the mercs and that pony. She had even gone so far as to create special opponents for the mercs to face: a chainsaw wielding Grinch with a vacuum secondary weapon to steal all the presents and decorations, and an animated skeleton in a grim tuxedo programmed to be obsessed with 'stealing Christmas' while being as terrifying as possible, and with the command to kidnap Fluttershy and scare her senseless.
And all these wonderful plans...were now tossed in the wastebasket because of one letter from Saxton Hale. The self same letter that lay on her desk now.
Dear Helen,
I've taken to watching that show about Fort Bumfuck - still love that name, gonna copyright it - and all that's been going on with RED Team and Fluttershy, and I have to say you're right, this is the most profitable thing we could ever do, even if it's somewhat lacking in violence most days.
Speaking of violence, I've looked at how you do things, and I'm pretty sure you have some sort of special event planned for during their Christmas celebration. Probably some sort of special monsters to crash the celebration, burn the tree, steal the filly, things like that.
Don't.
I'm only going to say this once, Helen. RED Team's Christmas is to go off without a hitch, without interference, and without trying to tweak it for ratings or mayhem. As much as this doesn't sound like me, they are to have a happy, peaceful holiday as the family they've become.
Disobey me in this, and I will hunt you down, break every bone in your body, feed you to the reanimated corpse of my pet yeti, and kill you until you stay dead. And then you'll be fired.
Happy Christmas!
Saxton Hale
Mann Co. CEO
Your boss
While she normally completely ignored Saxton Hale's edicts, that was because nine times out of ten he would forget them shortly after he made them. The one time out of ten he wouldn't, however, was when he referred to himself as Your boss. That meant he had made a copy of the memo, filed it, and set up an automatic reminder to make sure he didn't forget it.
And he had no concept of proportionate response. If she disobeyed him in this, he would act on his threat, and he would bend all the resources of Mann Co. on getting it done, with neither thought nor care for the future of the company. All he would care about would be making her suffer for flouting him when he meant it. And he would enjoy it.
"Bah!" she shouted, hurling her coffee cup across the room where it shattered. The Grinch swept up the pieces, looking downtrodden, much as Ms. Pauling once often had. "Humbug," Helen finished quietly.
RED team went all out in preparing Christmas for Fluttershy. The first step was finding the perfect tree. Using the teleporter, Heavy, Soldier, and Engineer had gone to a pine forest in the northern parts of America and cut down their own tree - as well as several park rangers who got in their way or tried to tell them to stop, saying cutting trees there was illegal - before bringing it back to the fortress. There, they had knocked out the center of the second floor of the central room of the fortress, making vertical room to place the tree on the control point, as well as enough room to set the tree on fire when Christmas was over without burning down the fortress.
Next was decorating the tree. The arguments regarding that were loud and long, as several of the mercs brought their feet down hard at Soldier's suggestion of decorating it with his head collection. As sentimental and appropriate to the team it would have been, they felt it would give Fluttershy the wrong message about Christmas to decorate the tree with what would look - except for the color of the Spy head's mask - like their own severed heads. Besides, Chompy would try to eat them. Medic's suggestion of using entrails for garlands was vetoed for the same reason.
As a result, Demoman, Scout, Pyro, and Spy had taken the teleporter to an American mall, where they purchased as much Christmas decorations, tree balls, and light strings as they could fit in the van. The whole team had then decorated the massive tree, with Fluttershy flying up to put decorations in the upper branches. After they completely decorated the tree - with the Pyro Angel doll on the peak - they proceeded to decorate the fortress. Fluttershy had wanted to help, but Soldier had said it was too dangerous, and she might get tangled up in the cords. Not three seconds later, Heavy, Scout, Demoman, and Pyro all fell from the roof, suspended by the tangles of Christmas lights they were ensnared in. As Fluttershy laughed and Spy groaned, Soldier had capitalized on it by saying, "See? And we're trained professionals!"
Before too long, the Fortress was fully decorated to the point it was bright as day at night near the walls. Each wall had an image of one or more merc in lights, so that the entire team was represented. The roof had actual lighted custom made miniature statues of each of the mercs, with the miniature of Heavy riding the life size one of Fluttershy. With all that done, it was determined that the outside was complete, so they went to the inside, where they hung up endless sparkly garlands and far too much mistletoe considering the only female present saw them as her parents and older brother.
At one point, Engineer had launched several rockets into nearby clouds, though the exact reason for this wasn't immediately clear.
And then came cooking the Christmas dinner, which waited until the very last day. Although it wasn't exactly traditional, the team decided to hold the dinner on Christmas Eve instead of Christmas Day, so as to keep Fluttershy - and everyone else, for that matter - distracted from their presents, and to ensure that everyone would be so stuffed that they could sleep late Christmas morning.
As the sun set on Christmas Eve, the table was laid. There were mountains of mashed potatoes, soaring structures of stuffing, gallons of gravy, cartloads of cranberry sauce, and piles upon piles of pies. And the piece de resistance of the meal, the entrée, the meaty mainstay...a stupendously superb swordfish, measuring 15 feet and 1,430 lbs, the pride of Heavy, Soldier, and Demoman's fishing expedition, as fish was the one meat type Fluttershy would eat. Spy had provided a superbly high quality white wine to go with the swordfish after he and Pyro had spent an entire day with Engineer to reconfigure the oven so they could properly cook it whole and cut the portions right on the table. Demoman had acquired some white grape juice for Fluttershy, since she was still too young for wine.
However, as they all sat down to dinner, they were rather surprised to hear the sounds of a motorcycle outside the Fortress, followed by a knock at the door. Scout was the one to answer it.
"Hello?" His eyes widened. "Miss Pauling! What brings you here?"
Miss Pauling smiled, her helmet sitting on her bike as she leaned back against the door frame. "All this free time I have now I'm unemployed, I realized I didn't really have anyone to spend it with. Don't suppose you've got room for me at your table?"
"Sure thing! Come on in!" Scout said happily. As she stepped in, though, he pointed up. "Oh look, mistletoe."
She glanced up and chuckled as she saw it. Leaning in, she gave Scout a peck on the cheek as she walked past him.
"Look Miss Pauling," Soldier said as he approached her, pointing up. "Mistletoe." Chuckling, Miss Pauling gave him a kiss on the cheek as well.
"Mistltoe!" Heavy said happily as she passed him as well, getting a laughing kiss on the nose for his trouble.
"Look who I met under the mistletoe," Medic said as he and Engineer awaited her approach under the next bunch.
"Do I get a kiss, too?" Sniper asked from under the next bunch.
"Hrrng Hnng?" Pyro asked, pointing up at the bit hanging from a head piece attached to his mask, which earned him a laughing smooch on his air intake.
"Do I even need to say it?" Spy asked, quirking an eyebrow and pointing up.
After giving Spy a kiss, too, Miss Pauling found herself facing a belching Demoman. "Look Miss, missiletoe!" he said, pointing up.
Miss Pauling looked up, and blinked. "Demoman...is that a missile with a human toe attached?"
"Yup!" Demoman proclaimed proudly.
Miss Pauling could only laugh. "You silly goof!" she said, kissing him on the nose.
"Do I get a kiss, too?" Fluttershy asked, looking up.
Miss Pauling happily scooped the filly up and kissed her right on her muzzle. "You're just too cute, you know that?"
Fluttershy giggled happily, and raced back to the table. Demoman leaned in to Miss Pauling. "When we give you a signal, do you think you can keep her distracted while we prepare a surprise for her?" Smiling, she happily agreed.
Once everyone was at table - and Miss Pauling had finished marveling at the sheer size of the spread - Soldier stood up at the head of the table. "I would like to open this feast by proposing a toast." He lifted his glass. "I know I'm normally one for long winded speeches, but I think this says it all: to all of us, friends and family together."
"To us!" everyone chorused, raising their glasses as Spy began to carefully cut up the swordfish to serve everyone.
After about an hour of eating, drinking, and being merry, Spy surreptitiously signaled Miss Pauling. She thought quickly, then turned to Fluttershy. "Do I hear something heavy and metal clanging?"
Fluttershy gasped. "Chompy! I need to feed him, too!" She leapt up and started gathering a massive platter of food from the table. "I don't want to leave him out, but he's going to need so much-"
"I'll help you carry it," Miss Pauling said quickly, standing up.
Fluttershy happily guided her to where Chompy was waiting. Chompy was now over a foot taller than Miss Pauling, nearly as large as Heavy, and was just as gentle as ever with Fluttershy, as well as with Miss Pauling. They took their time feeding him, enjoying his happy barks as he devoured the delicious food. After a time, however, he paused and bounced over to a nearby window. "Arf! Arf!" he said, calling attention.
Miss Pauling was the first to approach the window and stare out. "Is it...snowing? In summer?"
At the sudden sound of sleigh bells, Fluttershy gasped and raced towards the front door, Miss Pauling and Chompy at her hooves. Miss Pauling was able to notice that there was no sign of RED Team before they were outside the front door, and she saw a sight she knew she would never forget.
Around the corner of the Fortress came RED Team. Eight of them were wearing reindeer antler hats, and towing a sleigh they were harnessed to. And in the sleigh, dressed in red and white fur from head to toe, wearing a massive fake beard and holding a huge sack of toys, was Heavy as he called out to his team.
"On Soldier, On Scout, On Doctor and Demoman! Come Engy, Come Pyro, Come Sniper and Spy!" He bellowed out a loud laugh. "Ho Ho Ho! Happy Christmas!"
Fluttershy gasped loudly, her wings buzzing in unbridled joy. "Santa!" she shouted happily, racing forward to leap into his widespread arms.
Miss Pauling's smile was wide enough to hurt, and tears of joy filled her eyes. This was truly a perfect moment as they all started to head into the Fortress. Then Fluttershy spoke up to Spy.
"Can you really fly, Mr. Reindeer?"
Spy thought for a time. "How tall is the observation tower?" he asked Engineer.
Engineer thought for a bit. "59 feet from peak to ground."
Spy nodded. "In that case, Fluttershy, I can fly exactly 59 feet!"
The entire assembled group burst into laughter.
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AMAZING i loved the part where saxton sent helen a note and said "Disobey me in this, and I will hunt you down, break every bone in your body, feed you to the reanimated corpse of my pet yeti, and kill you until you stay dead. And then you'll be fired". best part
Merry early Christmas everypony!!!
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm, DING! Please my good sir I really hope not to intrude but, I've got to she a fortress shy make of this. Made by valve them selves.
WOAH! WOAH there Hale, that's a bit far. Sure, getting killed and mangled by a yeti is harsh, but getting fired after that?! That's just TOO far, man!
I think my feels just killed me.... again
If your boss demands you to not interfere at all to do something cliche on Christmas, you'll know how screwed you are when you are given a letter to not do such a thing.
A week late for christmas in july, but you know what? Screw it. This chapter, just like the last ones, was really well written. I really do love this story, and want to see where it's going next. Cheers
...You just made both a nightmare Before Christmas refrence alongside a Grinch reference. In the middle of a Fic about nine deadly mercenaries from TF2 taking care of possibly the cutest little ball of feathers and fluff that ever existed from My little Pony: Friendship is Magic.
...
SIR, I LOVE YOU WITH MOUTH.
Nyu~
*HURK* THE CUTENESS........
HEART ATTACKU! *BLEH*
4812042 Agreed
It made me think of Coach Hines on Mad TV
Saxton Hale is best brony
Grinch, Jack Skelington, TF2, Santa Clause, and My Little Pony all in one chapter.....
WHY IS THIS NOT FEATURED!?
"Missiletoe"?! More proof Demoman is best man.
A truly heartfelt pair of chapters, this made me cry and then die. The only organ valid for donation is my heart-oops. Spoke too soon.
HNNRK!
…
…
*Blargh*
But if you've never played the game... why make a crossover of it?
Anywho, seeing Ms. Pauling there was pretty nice, and it gave the mistletoe a proper target. Still, I got a laugh out of Spy in the end there. Exactly 59 feet, he says. The way he said it, though, made me laugh.
And laughter is always good.
Happy Australian Christmas everybody :) ( they have Christmas in summer)
Aw, Miss Pauling dropped by. I'm glad her resignation wasn't the end of her appearances in this fic.
Also, Saxton Hale is best boss.
4812445 It doesn't matter if the crossover is good.
4812445 comics lores, videos. (meet the team ) etc....... honestly if you do your research, you can do it
4812445
Why?
Because I saw the image that became the cover art, and it was too cute not to write.
4812602 I meant, how do you know that much about TF2 anyway? Gmod/SFM videos? Because they're pretty damn accurate :P
4812604
The "Meet the" videos and the comics on the main site.
4812338 I'm pretty sure it was at one point.
4812338 it was a while back.
So...when is Merasmus appearing?
Aww, so adorable again!
And even the Administrator can't ruin it!
This idea with Santa Hoovy, haha, makes me feel warm, well done!
Hmm, part 3 is ahead, I just wonder what will be in it.
Or will there be a third part at all?
-Zeph
Hmm when will she ask about demomans left eye
4812052
Christmas in August. A few days earlier, and you'd have kept to the marketing-tradition of Christmas in July. But the first part was, so s'all good.
*Salutes for author for using his idea*
Hmm, when will the other team members (excluding Fluttershy) know about Fluttershy's past?
4813040
4813007 It was featured multiple times, to be exact.
4814584
considering how comedic timing works? probably whenever is least convenient.
Jack Skellington I presume?
4814931
Yup.
4813550
When he gets out of jail. :P
4814723 que?
Nice chapter, loved the awesomeness. 5 Yay-Stars
4812191 Methinks that may have been Hale.
OMG as a TF2 lover i cant say how much im even enjoying this!
Lol, it would be funny if it were Jack Skellington, considering I watched the movie just yesterday! xD
I guess this chapter just drives home the point harder on the fact that when Fluttershy leaves, they'll be devastated.
Now they're together as one happy family, living a cheerful life as they can. Both Engi and us fear when that day will come. It's going to be heartbreaking... Savor what you can mercs, for you may not get a second chance
ALL THE WIN + ALL MY YES
NO JACK NOOOOoooo
fc08.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2013/029/6/2/jack_skellington_pony_by_clueless_nu-d5t4fue.jpg
I believe the word here is "owned," and it fits quite perfectly in both the figurative and literal sense.
4817027 Think about this however. These are not some lonely single parent living alone in an abandoned town. These are the MERCS. They will tear down the walls of their own dimension and kill anything that gets in their way of Flutters. one of them is practically immortal after taking "what kills you makes you stronger" pills
. one divides dimensions at will (pyro and rainbow land)
. one created a self aware beauty mark (engineer).
And ONE BEAT DEATH (medic).
And now they have MOTHERFUCKING SAXTON HALE ON THEIR SIDE
. Engineer probably will build an inter dimensional phone or or teleporter to contact Flutters anyway. 
THERE IS NO STOPING THE MERCS
4821698 And what would they do? Bring death and destruction to her world? If you think I'm talking about our RED mercs then you've forgotten one person.
Helen.
She controls the BLU team and if she finds out that RED team can go there, why not BLU? No one can say how far her ambition will go nor the lengths she will do to achieve them.
I guess it's good to think optimistically of not tearing them apart but we also have to consider the consequences, both likely and unlikely.
We are like two sides of perspective you and I. Hope to talk with you again
4822076
You do realize that "follow Fluttershy when she goes back to her world" has been Helen's goal since chapter four, right? It was plainly stated in that chapter that whatever the RED team did, Helen intended to follow whoever came back to retrieve Fluttershy.
So...your point of why to not have them follow is moot.
4819824
Dang bro, that's harsh.
At least Fluttershy can now enjoy the movie better.
Still laughing about the "Missile-Toe" joke
My friend has a strange professional kill streak festive rocket launcher called missiletoe. Yeah, he is rich as fuck. (Couldn't find a smiley that fits, so have cat faces. :3 :3 :3 :3 :3 )