Fluttershy stared out the window at the grey pre-dawn sky. It was Christmas Day, and that meant it was time for gifts. However, she had promised last night that she wouldn't wake anyone up before sunrise unless they were under attack. She momentarily entertained the notion of ordering Chompy to attack the Fortress in order to exploit the loophole in her promise, as Poof Daddy had taught her, but quickly discarded it. After all, she'd made the promise to him, too, and used a promise Engineer had taught her that everyone had found adorable. Still, despite the silliness of the motions and words - especially the bit about the cupcake - something about the idea of breaking a Pinkie Promise - even technically - filled her with absolute dread. And so she waited patiently, Chompy at her side, for the sun to peek out over the horizon.
After a time, she noticed the sky beginning to lighten, and her entire body tensed. Her flank wiggled in the air in anticipation. Chompy, catching her tension, became unnaturally still as he watched the window. And then, just as the tension became unbearable, the first flare of the light of the sun shot over the horizon.
"It's morning!" Fluttershy cried happily, leaping into the air.
"Arf!" Chompy agreed, leaping into the air after her.
"Time for presents!" she yelled, coming down on Heavy's stomach.
"Oof!" he exclaimed in a whoosh of expelled air. "Morning already?" he asked as she bounced off of him towards the door. Looking up, he screamed in fear as he rolled over, getting out from under Chompy just before he crushed the bed beneath him. As the two bounced out happily - Chompy putting a new hole in the wall of his room - Heavy muttered, "Chompy sleep outside from now on."
"Presents Presents Presents Presents Presents-" Fluttershy cried happily as she bounced along the halls past all the rooms towards the tree.
"Arf! Arf! Arf! Arf!" Chompy agreed, crashing down to the floor after each bounce, leaving a small crater behind at each landing.
Engineer, stepping out of his room, examined the depth of one of the craters, and calculated Chompy's weight from that. He shook his head in wonder. "How can he move so readily when he weighs over half a ton?" he wondered aloud.
Eventually, everyone was gathered around the tree, Pyro passing out coffee for the adults, milk for Fluttershy, and a barrel of oil for Chompy, which he somehow dumped over his head with his chain. Soldier quickly took charge, once he was more awake. "Alright!" he proclaimed. "Time for presents! Which do you want to open first, Fluttershy? There seem to be a lot of them...and a bucket?"
Fluttershy pointed to the group surrounding the bucket. "Oh, those are the ones I made for all of you," she said softly. Without warning, Heavy pulled her into a crushing bear hug. "Big Daddy?"
Miss Pauling chuckled. "I guess they didn't expect you to go that far on your first Christmas."
"Oh, there's one for you, too," Fluttershy hastened to assure her.
Scout couldn't help but chuckle at Miss Pauling's shocked face. "Well, how about you open yours first, Shy? Then you can give us each ours."
Shy smiled widely. "Okay!" she said happily, pouncing the biggest gift marked for her and beginning to carefully undo the wrapping.
Scout chuckled again. "You can tear it off if you want," he pointed out.
"But the wrapping's so pretty!" she countered, pouting. Scout could only roll his eyes.
As she finished unwrapping it, she found it was a turret set painted red, yellow, and pink, along with a wrench. She gasped. "Dadenji?" she asked, awed.
Engineer smiled indulgently. "I think you're ready to start using the skills I've taught you," he said. "Once you master how to properly set them up and keep them maintained, you'll really be a force to be reckoned with."
Fluttershy happily hugged Engineer, receiving a hug in return. She went to the next present and opened it up. She found what looked like the base of a turret, but with a latch where the guns should have been.
Soldier grinned. "I noticed when you tried to train with the larger weapons, the kickback was often too much for you. If you latch the weapon onto that brace, it'll take the recoil for you. As cute as it is to see you tumble forehead over fetlocks after firing a shotgun, it's not good in battle. You can set it up just like a turret!"
Heavy laughed. "Is good match for my present! Open next!" He pushed his present forward to Fluttershy.
As she opened it, she gasped. "Is that..."
"Is mini-minigun!" Heavy said proudly. "Sasha always take good care of you, so now you have one to take care of." He helped her brace it on the brace. "Weighs 75 kilograms and fires $200, custom tooled cartridges at 10,000 rounds per minute. It costs $400 thousand dollars to fire...for 12 seconds."
Fluttershy gasped happily. "He's beautiful!"
Heavy started to nod, but paused, blinking. "He?"
"Yes," she said happily. "I think I'll call him Angel." For some reason, Engineer banged his head on the wall again, but she chose not to notice as she hugged Heavy and Soldier happily.
She then opened a few of the smaller presents. From Demoman, she received a chemistry set. From Pyro, she received a "Learning to Cook" playset. She was especially happy with the paint set Sniper got for her.
Spy's gift of a disguise kit garnered a laugh from Scout. "Spy, she's a candy colored Pegasus. No matter what disguise she wears, it'll still be pretty plain that it's her."
Spy simply grinned mischievously. "Say that again after you've seen her in action," he said mysteriously.
Medic proudly presented the "Operation" game he had customized for her. "Should be a good way to learn more medicine!" he said happily.
Scout grinned widely as Fluttershy opened his gift.
Fluttershy blinked in confusion. "Umm...what is it?"
"Only the latest in home entertainment!" Scout proclaimed proudly. "This...is an ATARI home gaming console! They only just came out, and I got one of the first ones just for you! Also got a bunch of the extras and all the games that were out for it! We're gonna have so much fun with this in our down time!"
Fluttershy smiled somewhat unsurely. "That's...nice?" she managed, still unsure what it was supposed to be...and confused as to why the rest of the mercs seemed more interested in it than she did.
Miss Pauling chuckled. "I think this'll be a bit more to your interest," she said softly, handing Fluttershy a small box.
Opening it up, Fluttershy gasped. Inside was a small ruby on a choker, shaped like a pair of spread wings. "It's beautiful!" she said happily, slipping it around her neck.
Miss Pauling smiled as she helped Fluttershy fasten it. "It can easily be loosened as you grow so it won't choke you, too." She blushed happily as Fluttershy hopped up and kissed her on the cheek.
Fluttershy then walked over to the pile surrounding the bucket. "And...now I have presents for all of you," she said as they approached. She picked one box up. "For you, Big Brother," she said, holding it up.
Smiling, he carefully unwrapped the box and opened it. "It's...a lampshade? Painted red, yellow, and pink?" He tilted it this way and that. "But...that don't look like it'll fit any lamp I've ever seen."
"That's because it's fitted for your head, silly," Fluttershy giggled.
Scout's jaw dropped. "It's a hat? You got me a hat?!" He bounced up excitedly, quickly taking off his baseball cap to don the lampshade. "This is frikkin' awesome!" he crowed.
Fluttershy smiled happily. "I'm glad you like it," she whispered. She then lifted another box. "For you, Big Daddy."
Heavy opened his own box, revealing a cap sized to his head with minotaur horns on it. He laughed happily as he donned it. "Charge!" he bellowed happily.
Giggling, Fluttershy took out the next one. "Boom Daddy-"
Demoman tore the present open. "Sweet!" he said, pulling out and donning a crimson afro. "Dance, fucker, dance!" he proclaimed, proceeding to disco as he tossed some cash in the swear jar.
Fluttershy giggled, pulling something out of a bag. "This is for you, Daddiem. It was going to be a fedora...but I lost track of how big I made the brim, and..." She held up the hat.
Medic lifted the hat. "Hmm...I like it. Reminds me of someone I saw one Halloween. He said he was going for an enthusiastic walk in the moonlight." He chuckled. "He was a striking figure. Perhaps I will dress up as him this Halloween."
"Halloween?" Fluttershy asked in interest.
"I'll tell you when we are finished with Christmas," he said, donning the hat and tilting it rakishly.
Nodding, Fluttershy pulled out the next box. "Dadenji," she said, offering it to him.
He smiled as he opened it. He discovered within a pointed wizard's hat, covered in gemstones, stars, sequins, and tinsel, with a large star on the point. Embroidered in sequins on it was the word "N-G-Knee-Ear". Smiling, he removed his hard hat to don the mystical headwear.
Fluttershy offered the last box to Spy. "For you, Poof Daddy."
Spy happily pulled out...a bowler hat. "Not exactly my style," he commented as he examined it.
Fluttershy giggled. "Throw it!"
Shrugging, Spy took hold of the brim and threw the hat like a discus. It shrieked as it spun through the air, sheering easily through the wooden walls and a metal beam before embedding itself in solid stone. Staring, Spy walked up and carefully extricated the hat, watching the stone crumble as he removed it. Grinning widely, he donned the hat. "Perfect!" he said happily.
Fluttershy then pulled forward the bucket. "The rest I couldn't figure out how to wrap," she said softly. "This is for Mama," she said, pulling out a crimson chef's cap.
Pyro happily donned the hat, which matched his 'Kissll the Cook' apron perfectly.
"Bang Daddy...I'll need you to kneel down for this one," she said, reaching into the bucket.
Nodding, Sniper kneeled down in front of her.
Smiling, Fluttershy lifted out one of her own shed feathers. "Daddiem figured out a way to preserve them, so I thought this would be nice." Fluttering up, she stuck the feather in the brim of his hat, before holding a mirror for him to see.
He smiled as he looked at his reflection. "Just call me Sniper Doodle Dandy," he said happily.
Grinning, Soldier broke into song, and everyone else clapped along as Sniper jumped into a jig, lifting Fluttershy up as he did so.
"Sniper Doodle went to town
A carrying his pony
She stuck her feather in his hat
He calls it Macaroni!
Sniper Doodle keep it up
Sniper Doodle Dandy
Mind the music with the step
And with the girls be handy!"
On the last line, Sniper bowed over Miss Pauling's hand and kissed it, making her giggle.
Fluttershy then returned to the bucket, lifting out what looked like a yellow rose. "This is for you, Miss Pauling. Made it last night."
As Miss Pauling examined it, she gasped. It was a bundle of Fluttershy's baby feathers, downy soft, tied tightly together to resemble a corsage. Miss Pauling happily pinned it to her shirt. "It's lovely, Fluttershy," she said, hugging the filly tightly.
Fluttershy returned the embrace before returning to the bucket. "Last but not least...Daddy Sir, please kneel."
Soldier promptly kneeled before her.
Fluttering up, Fluttershy slammed her hoof onto the front of his helmet before floating back.
Soldier stood up, confused...until his eyes fell on his reflection. In the exact center of his helm was a single gold star.
Fluttershy saluted. "Reporting for duty...General Daddy Sir!"
Soldier stared around, seeing his team rising to attention and saluting him proudly, their hands stopping as was proper at the brim of their hats. With tears unashamedly pouring from his eyes, Soldier snapped to attention and returned the salute.
Much later in the day, after much fun was had by all and dinner - leftovers from the previous night - had been consumed, Miss Pauling bid her farewells, saying that she had only come for Christmas and couldn't stay longer. After much hugging, a few familial kisses, and a well accepted warning, she rode off into the night.
Many hours later, the clocks struck midnight.
The Grinch led his unit of machines slowly towards Fort Bumfuk. It was just past midnight, and they had their orders. They were to make a huge distraction by targeting the presents so that their Skellington could kidnap the Pegasus. Helen had not been happy to have to wait, and she intended to wait no longer than absolutely necessary.
The Grinch shouted his battle cry as he waved his chainsaw as he led his unit around the front entrance of the Fortress.
Fluttershy (Angel) Grinch
Fluttershy (turret) Machine Mercsx7
The sound of Fluttershy's minigun and the turret's autofire tore the night apart as Fluttershy grinned widely. "I love Boxing Day!" Fluttershy yelled happily.
Heavy watched in awe. "Our little pony has turned into vicious killing machine!" he said in wonder. Turning, he pulled the skeleton approaching from behind into a crushing bear hug that powdered its bones. "I'm so happy!" he bellowed.
Heavy (bear hug) Jack Skellington
whatever you do don't let alucard leave that room!!
umm actually he just left, he said something about going on a walk.
NOO!!!
hahahaha nice hellsing abridged reference.
Heavy killed Jack Skellington...
did you just crossover TF2, The Nightmare Before Christmas, and The Grinch in one?
4822486
The Grinch and Jack Skellington were constructs made by Helen.
I saw what you did there with the reference to the abridged series. Also (heart attack from over the top cuteness) okay so whenever somebody does from cuteness from this story, a puppy is revive back to life. Wonder how long till people decide to get killed from cuteness.
Just... Perfect.
In the words of Saxon Hale:
I WANT ONE!!!
Oddjob!
4822497 that makes a lot more sense.
I want to kill someone in tf2 with bear hug, maybe a taunt?
This is sooooooo adorable
It seems Fluttershy took a walk through the woods....a very enthusiastic walk, judging by the dead bodies...
LOVE IT. I SALUTE YOU.
my reaction to the last part of this chapter:
Lol get rekt nub ur anis got pwned GG nubs 2ez
fluttershy is best killer pony.~
4822586 just like alucard
4822450 Well dang it, it dies seem kinda moot now. Kinda. Because we still have little to no idea how she's going to accomplish her goal now since Flutters is a diabeetus killing machine. Stocked with bullets, knives, a pan and etc.
Nice Bond reference though Though I think Spy needs to gain a little more weight for that role
Okay, where did she get Oddjob's hat? Also, she's gonna receive a visit from a very, very ticked off "wizzard" very soon, I guess
4822926
She made all the hats herself. The question is where she got the ideas for them.
JACK SKELINGTON NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooo
I'm curious. What were you referencing with the medic and his hat. And I love that Oddjob 007 reference HA XD
4822937 From Bob.
4822539 It seems I am not the only one to get this reference.
NOOOO JACK but still awesome chapter.I wish there was a bear hug taunt that eill be awesome
Aaaaahhh my heart melt when flutter promoted solly to general!!! So beautiful
4823100
I believe that was a reference to Alucard from the Hellsing manga.
static.comicvine.com/uploads/original/11115/111153050/3724802-7504081512-Aluca.jpg
Oh man, you gave Spy Odd Job's hat. Brilliant!
Holy shit...
...
...Wimpers...
I love how fluttershy called the stuff bunny a demon while a minigun angel *sacks head agents wall repeatedly*
Dance, f**ker, dance?
I see what you did there.
4823308 To be specific, it references the Alucard from Hellsing Abridged.
Also, the Mini-Minigun, Sasha's (obvious) baby....
It shoots more bullets than anything else in the world.
10,000 rounds per SECOND?
So much cuteness Also, love that Hellsing Ultimate Abridged reference
Poor Scout's Atari going unappreciated. Then again, we should be happy she didn't play ET...
4823598 never had a chance, and no-one even knew, it was really only you.
But undeniably one of the cutest chapters yet.
This is fate! I literally finished watching Hellsing like two days ago! That reference made my day!
4823866 yeah, but the abridge is too funny than the real thing.
Fluttershy gave Soldier a promotion? Out of all the gifts given, this one was completely unexpected - even more so than her giving a replica of Alucard's hat to Medic. And as such, I can say only one thing.
"Reporting for duty for RED Team, Sir!" (snaps into proper salute)
Medispy has evolved into…
(insert drum roll)
Supershy!
4823598 Whoa. I just now realized that
Medic lifted the hat. "Hmm...I like it. Reminds me of someone I saw one Halloween. He said he was going for an enthusiastic walk in the moonlight." He chuckled. "He was a striking figure. Perhaps I will dress up as him this Halloween."
not good enough we need to get that bitch a cannon bitch's love cannon's
4823598
Yup. That was the KH2 reference!
4823771
Actually, I forgot about that song. It was a reference to a rather annoying KH2 boss..."Dance, water, dance!"
A fun delight, enjoyment it did ignite.
4824388 oh, wow!
4823308 Cool :3
4824624
What if it is accurate?
Fluttershys mini-minigun does little damage but shoots 10,000 rounds a second?
4825439
Shhhh... Don't ruin it for me
4825408 Sweet mother of god. Even if the bullets did like... point five damage a pop, that's an insta-kill on every class.
4825482
Yes
4823100
I'm going to sound like a scrub when I say this but, how do you post a youtube video in the comments?
4825532 There is a little youtube symbol up in the top corner of the comment box. Click on it and copy and paste a youtube link into it.