I think any of us would at least be a little hesitant, don't you think? I don't care how much of a fan you are, it would be very weird for a while at least.
In all honesty I think going from first kiss to 'when we're married' in 20 seconds would be more difficult for me than the pony part. They clearly already have an emotional, affectionate relationship. He's been there for a year and a half. I think that's enough to get over the 'whoa, weird. ponies?' thing. Really, I have a tough time imagining going a year and a half without giving it some thought.
But having a previously platonic roommate kiss me and suddenly announce that we're getting married? Yeah, I can see being a bit put off by that.
Depends on who you are. As much as most of us even in the R34 community wouldn't touch or even want to touch a real horse, I think the massive amount of clop material has kind of dulled our ethical concerns on human-on-Equestrian Pony relations.
I think you'd be surprised how fast many people'd jump all over this chance.
Attacking the author instead of issues in the story is something no one should ever do, as at that point it no longer counts as criticism.
I know all about that; I faced that sort of thing with my last story (someone made a bunch of accounts, rote a nasty comment, then used every account that they had created to down vote my story).
While I have to say your comments were a bigger shock than I was expecting to receive, I have to thank you; they wre the right kick in the pants that I needed to make me want to change it, and actually helped me figure out how to change it.
As for the letter, instead of having it arrive before the pegasi return, I'm having Rainbow Dash deliver it when they return. It's still going to say the same thing though (that she had an urgent matter that she needed to meet with Princess Celestia about, and was going to be gone for a few extra days). When that's done, the only thing I'll need to do is go through and change things to line up with the new part of the story.
God dam it. His story is a darn good derpyship story, one of the best I've ever read. Now some **** has down voted and critisized and attack the author! making him feel to redo the story. Bs!!! Don't change the story it is awesome. And to the critiquer, you suck!! You are a non American and you will never be able to make story's of this quality. THIs is a great story, if you don't thnk so then don't comment, as you are prob, a 12 yr old. Sorry for the spelling, typing on ipad sucks. Anyways great story,! Don't let anyone else persuade you otherwise.
I aready want a sequel of this story or something similiar to this, the first chapter is already really sweet, i think i really like these kind of stoys.
if you were a human then I would totally date you, but-"
After living the society of ponies and still beneath the consciousness, he thinks he is better than ponies. At least if he realized he is an outsider, should say "if i were a pony," not opposite.
Falls into the trope of "I would love you of you were a human!", pretty hard. After a year and a half of presumable abstinence, and after other events in Sam's life he should be way more open to poke a pony. For someone who cares for Derpy and such he should be mature enough to say "look, I am not 100% comfortable with being in a relationship with you but I can try because I care about you and Dinky."
Looking back it even kind of makes me less sympathetic to his divorce since he isn't taking his significant other's feelings into consideration.
This you can agree on or not, it is subjective.
That said the other thing is putting everything on the side into parenthesis.
Like:
"She told me that I didn’t need to (like she did every morning), but I insisted (like I did every morning)"
Can easily be turned into:
"Just like every morning, she told me I didn't need to help her out. It was another one of our friendly banters, because I would always insist to help anyways."
Putting in parentheses breaks the flow of a story. Why is is clothing in brackets when he could be "Tossing my blue uniform pants on I looked in the mirror, with my human-sized blue uniform jacket and mailbag I was ready to go!"
See how those small bits make the story flow more?
Like I said it is a decent story. Derpy is cute and all that.
Of course when we’re married, then you really will be her father. And-”
Woh woh Derpy! Thats coming on a bit strong. That said Sam's response was incredibly insensitive, hurtful and seemingly racist since mlp ponies are sentiate.
A year and a half and he isn't ready to sex up the ponies?
Not buying it.
Also Derpy comes on way too strong. You know somepony is OOC character when it seems that way despite the character not having many defined canon characteristics in the first place... Smh
Now Sam is faced with a choice; commit to his old world's beliefs about interspieces relationships...
His old world doesn't have beliefs about interspieces relationships, because there's no such thing as an interspieces relationship in his old world. Unless you count bestiality, but bestiality is when a person and an animal have sex. Derpy's a person, not an animal.
Wow...this guy's a dick
D'aaaaawwww...
4426580 Nah, he's just stuck in ideas that aren't relevent any more is all Zam. He'll learn.
You have gained my attention. I am adding this to my favorites, and you have earned a follow.
I think any of us would at least be a little hesitant, don't you think? I don't care how much of a fan you are, it would be very weird for a while at least.
4427547
i agree
In all honesty I think going from first kiss to 'when we're married' in 20 seconds would be more difficult for me than the pony part. They clearly already have an emotional, affectionate relationship. He's been there for a year and a half. I think that's enough to get over the 'whoa, weird. ponies?' thing. Really, I have a tough time imagining going a year and a half without giving it some thought.
But having a previously platonic roommate kiss me and suddenly announce that we're getting married? Yeah, I can see being a bit put off by that.
sorry ocd kicked in when i saw Repeted words, you have one more hidden somewhere too.
I think your reasoning for not wanting to make out with her is silly given the context. You should have made a better excuse other than you're a pony.
4427547
Depends on who you are. As much as most of us even in the R34 community wouldn't touch or even want to touch a real horse, I think the massive amount of clop material has kind of dulled our ethical concerns on human-on-Equestrian Pony relations.
I think you'd be surprised how fast many people'd jump all over this chance.
Mistake. You put in to pay twice.
Found another one. Same type of mistake, you added the word twice.
Randomly capitalized letter.
*flips table* Sam... why u do dis. why u hurt Derpy. Unhappy Dante, isn't happy.
4429296 Not just married, but married and a step baby-daddy. I've had nightmares like that.
4436609
I know all about that; I faced that sort of thing with my last story (someone made a bunch of accounts, rote a nasty comment, then used every account that they had created to down vote my story).
While I have to say your comments were a bigger shock than I was expecting to receive, I have to thank you; they wre the right kick in the pants that I needed to make me want to change it, and actually helped me figure out how to change it.
As for the letter, instead of having it arrive before the pegasi return, I'm having Rainbow Dash deliver it when they return. It's still going to say the same thing though (that she had an urgent matter that she needed to meet with Princess Celestia about, and was going to be gone for a few extra days). When that's done, the only thing I'll need to do is go through and change things to line up with the new part of the story.
So close.
God dam it. His story is a darn good derpyship story, one of the best I've ever read. Now some **** has down voted and critisized and attack the author! making him feel to redo the story. Bs!!! Don't change the story it is awesome. And to the critiquer, you suck!! You are a non American and you will never be able to make story's of this quality. THIs is a great story, if you don't thnk so then don't comment, as you are prob, a 12 yr old. Sorry for the spelling, typing on ipad sucks. Anyways great story,! Don't let anyone else persuade you otherwise.
4436609 delete this @@@@'s comments he is a non american
I aready want a sequel of this story or something similiar to this, the first chapter is already really sweet, i think i really like these kind of stoys.
I love the story so much feels at the end
After living the society of ponies and still beneath the consciousness, he thinks he is better than ponies. At least if he realized he is an outsider, should say "if i were a pony," not opposite.
4499890 Humans are Superior you chuckle fuck
how could he say that to derpy?
YOU FUCKING RACIST
Also, I feel sad now.
4837401 I agree
Alright, decent enough story.
Falls into the trope of "I would love you of you were a human!", pretty hard. After a year and a half of presumable abstinence, and after other events in Sam's life he should be way more open to poke a pony. For someone who cares for Derpy and such he should be mature enough to say "look, I am not 100% comfortable with being in a relationship with you but I can try because I care about you and Dinky."
Looking back it even kind of makes me less sympathetic to his divorce since he isn't taking his significant other's feelings into consideration.
This you can agree on or not, it is subjective.
That said the other thing is putting everything on the side into parenthesis.
Like:
"She told me that I didn’t need to (like she did every morning), but I insisted (like I did every morning)"
Can easily be turned into:
"Just like every morning, she told me I didn't need to help her out. It was another one of our friendly banters, because I would always insist to help anyways."
Putting in parentheses breaks the flow of a story. Why is is clothing in brackets when he could be "Tossing my blue uniform pants on I looked in the mirror, with my human-sized blue uniform jacket and mailbag I was ready to go!"
See how those small bits make the story flow more?
Like I said it is a decent story. Derpy is cute and all that.
Man you messed up bad Derpy hates you now.
Very realistic and saddening. I'm liking this.
https://derpicdn.net/img/2014/5/8/620955/full.png
Woh woh Derpy! Thats coming on a bit strong. That said Sam's response was incredibly insensitive, hurtful and seemingly racist since mlp ponies are sentiate.
A year and a half and he isn't ready to sex up the ponies?
Not buying it.
Also Derpy comes on way too strong. You know somepony is OOC character when it seems that way despite the character not having many defined canon characteristics in the first place... Smh
This is why we should NOT have important talks when drunk.
4837401 more like specist
......
......
......
He broke Derpy's heart....
GET THAT MOTHER FUCKA!!!!
His old world doesn't have beliefs about interspieces relationships, because there's no such thing as an interspieces relationship in his old world. Unless you count bestiality, but bestiality is when a person and an animal have sex. Derpy's a person, not an animal.