Doctor Dilemma Part Three
"Head... Hurts... Bad..."
Ponies swarmed the streets bellow the Doctor, and more then half of them had glowing horns. They started blasting her, she crashed herself through the nearest glass window to avoid them. Inside there was an earth pony who lunged at the Doctor as soon as he saw her. The Doctor grabbed a nearby lamp and smashed it into the stallion's face, with that as a distraction, she ran through the apartment and into the floor's hallway. The floor was filled with ponies who were leaving their apartments and the stallion from before was right behind her.
Staying close to the ceiling, she flew to the stairway door and went in. There she heard doors opening on every floor, there was enough space for her to fly straight up between all the stairs and she launched herself up as fast as it was possible, ignoring ponies who were standing on the stairs trying to shoot her or grab her in mid-flight.
On the very top she went through the door leading to the roof. Once on the rooftop she ran to the ledge of the building. Directly bellow her, who knows how many floors down, is her TARDIS. If she makes it there, she will be safe.
Looking at the city ahead of her she saw pegasi, one by one taking to the sky. She followed them with her eyes, and high above her she saw a gigantic swarm of pegasi almost completely covering the sky. They all came together and like a tidal wave crashed down towards the Doctor.
The Doctor leapt from the roof onto the adjacent building. The unicorns below were still firing their horns at her and so she crashed through another window. She ran through a room after room, kicking down doors, trying to get to the other side of the building. Then she felt the ground shake.
On the outside, the pegasi swarm changed direction from the apartment building it was targeting and crashed into the side of the building the Doctor was now in. Some crushed through the windows cutting themselves up and other crushed into the wall, the pegasi behind them kept pushing forward and squishing into already hurt ponies. The unicorns on the ground blasted the base of the building, with the force of the unicorns and pegasi, the building started to tilt.
When the Doctor made it through to the other side, the top of the building hit the building right next to it and glass rained from all the windows on top of her. She flew across the street into another building, as the other building crashed onto it. The top floors took most of the damage as the rest of the rubble fell on the ground, blocking the way she came in.
The Doctor hidden on one of the lower floors felt the ground shake even harder, and then everything was dark. One side of the building was completely totaled and the windows that weren't broken were covered by debris. Thanks to that, the Doctor was now in a completely dark room, but the other side of the building was fine so anyone could enter it from that side. There might even be other ponies nearby, but that's hard to tell in the dark and silence.
The Doctor's head hurt a little, she was a little bruised and felt little cuts on her head and face. The coat was big and sturdy enough to cover most of her body and protect her from most of the glass. She didn't feel the bruises going away, so the regeneration was complete and she was stuck like this.
"Feeling tired, yet, Doctor?" said the voices in the dark.
"Nah, I had worse, but maybe you can get me some water?" replied the Doctor.
"I can't figure out how to fly your ship and I don't think it would be easy to explain. It would be easier for us both is you just surrendered your mind to me."
"Maybe if you asked nicely, I would have helped you. If this is your attempt at asking me, then at least use the word, "Please"
"Don't mock me, Doctor. I have the whole city of Manehattan under my control."
"Then what's stopping you? Come and get me, I'm right here! And what happened with me flying you home, I can still do that if you agree to pay for the consequences of your actions."
"There will be no consequences-"
"There will be so! Your slimy trail is all over this mess, and if no one will punish you, then I will. I am The Doctor, a time-lord, I am the president of The High Council of Galligrey, if you think you can run then you have another thing coming!"
"You're going to use your fancy connections on me?"
"No, I will find you, and then you will wish I didn't."
"In any case, this whole mess is all your fault! When you attacked me, I had to retaliate. This destruction you caused, could have been averted."
Thinking back, Mestor used a very impressive form of mind control to get what he wanted. With that much power he could take anything he wanted and no one could get in his way, until now. That stunt with the pegasi was probably his attempt at reestablishing his power. He would never talk to someone who is weaker then he is. Is he afraid?
"How many died, Mestor?"
"I don't have time for this. Die, Doctor!"
The unicorns outside moved the rubble out of the way with their magic. The room the Doctor was in received some light. There were hoofsteps approaching from somewhere inside the building and the unicorns from the outside will soon be here.
"Die? Didn't you want me alive just now?"
"I will get what I want, while you sit still."
There were five ponies from whom the voices came. They entered the room and circled the Doctor. Three of them jumped, and the Doctor dodged. Two others tried, but their attempt was as useless and a lot less vicious then the ponies from the outside. Some of them were unicorns but they didn't try to use magic.
The Doctor avoided them and went outside through the path the unicorns cleared. They moved the rubble and turned what's left of the half-destroyed building to its side. All the unicorns were collapsed on the ground in exhaustion. Some pegasi could be seen among the debris and some also fainted around where they all tried to ram the building the Doctor was in. Because of the dust, it was hard to see who was a corpse and who wasn't.
A pegasus fell right next to the Doctor and she looked up to see a big group of pegasi trying to stay in the air. Some were trying to hover in place, but they were loosing altitude as their wing flapping became irregular. Some just glided in circles, conserving energy. They all just looked tired and eventually would give up and fall right in front of the Doctor's eyes. She tried to catch a few, but there were just too many and she wasn't fast enough. The city lights lit up the whole scene of the falling pegasi.
Eventually there were no more pegasi left and the Doctor's head stopped hurting. All the mind-controlled ponies the Doctor passed on the street were laying on the ground with their eyes on her. She flew up and went to the Coco's apartment.
The lights were off, but the TARDIS door was open and a light came from inside. The Doctor peeked through the door and saw Coco. She was in front of the console unit, gasping for breath, periodically pressing random buttons to see what works, and when nothing happened she hit the unit. For a moment she gave up, hit the console and put her hooves up to her head. Without seeing her face, the Doctor heard her cry quietly.
The Doctor came in, leaned against a wall and said, "Hello."
Coco jerked away from the console unit, her face and hair was a mess.
"Yes, you! Show me how to fly this! Please! I need help!" Coco screamed at the Doctor, about to start crying again.
"No," said the Doctor.
"Do it! Or else I'll hurt you!" her face briefly lit with realization and she ran out, the Doctor followed.
"I'll Jump!" she stood next to the edge.
"And I'll catch her," said the Doctor.
She looked down over the edge, then at the Doctor; whose face didn't show a speck of emotion.
Coco broke down, hit the floor, and then punched it. Through snot and tears she took a deep breath and let out a wail.
"You're a real piece of shit, you know that?!" she crawled to the Doctor, "You should die, just die!"
Without daring to look into the Doctor's eyes, she started hitting her on the chest, "Die! Die! Die! I hate you!"
The Doctor took it, Coco kept hitting her and crying. The Doctor looked down at Coco and said, "...I'm sorry."
Coco hit her some more and froze, she looked at her hoof and then at the Doctor. She quickly turned around and ran out of the room. The Doctor watched, then went inside the TARDIS.
The TARDIS materialized inside a cavern underneath Manehattan. The doors opened and there was light. The Doctor stepped out and walked to Mestor's body. She looked down at his face and he was still breathing. He had a big bleeding wound all over the side of his face and neck. He pressed his hand to it trying to stop the bleeding, but it wouldn't stop. His breathing was loud and erratic.
"...home ..." he struggled to say as he very slowly bled to death.
The Doctor looked down and said, "Not you."
The breathing stopped and Mestor died. The Doctor turned around and went to his TARDIS.
The room had walls of very light shade of brown. On the floor there was a broken wooden table with a broken red sewing machine, the chair was missing. Other things were scattered all over the room, almost everything she owned was there.
Coco washed her face and fixed her hair, she lay on the floor looking out the giant hole in the wall.
The wind picked up, screeching-vrooming sound, the box appeared. With a "DOOM" sound, the TARDIS materialized and the Doctor stepped out, closing the door behind her.
Coco turned her head away. The Doctor lied down and looked outside.
Without Mestor's control, the city became very loud. Outside there were ponies yelling and sirens were blaring. There was no more building across and there wasn't as much light as before, so more stars were visible.
"Breezy," said the Doctor looked at Coco, expecting a reaction but there was nothing.
She looked back at the stars and said, "There are worlds out there where the sky is burning, and the sea's asleep, and the rivers dream. People made of smoke, and cities made of song. Somewhere there's danger, somewhere there’s injustice, and somewhere else... there's a pony crying."
Coco kept looking away.
The Doctor stood up and said, "I should have mentioned this earlier, but my spaceship is also a time machine."
No reaction.
The Doctor went on, "If you want, I could leave forever and you won't see me, or you could let me help you. I could give you all the time in the world you want, I could take you anywhere in the universe, and... also, I'm sorry."
There was silence, Coco took her time to think about it and when the Doctor started thinking about leaving she said, "Fine."
"You'll go?" said the excited Doctor.
"I just... don't know what else could possibly go wrong. This is rock bottom for me."
The Doctor pushed the TARDIS door open, stood aside, and gestured for Coco to come in. She sighed and went in.
The Doctor stood there with a grin on her face. The side of her eye caught something on the floor. It was a flower pin, almost like the one Coco wore in her hair but with less petals in it.
The Doctor pinned it to one of her lapels and went inside the TARDIS.
The TARDIS soon dematerialized and they were gone.
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You suck.
You keep using that word, but....
Is this the curse of the Twin Dilemma or something?
I will make this brief: Go fuck yourself! That said, this story sucks. I could only barely get through the first chapter. Also:
I don't think (s)he would be very happy about you putting words in his/her mouth, mate. Maybe (s)he did feel bored once or twice or something, but you really shouldn't try to speak for other people like that, it's rude.
Sincerely,
~Grand Panda
I guess that first chapter really was too much of a gamble
...What Iggy and the Panda said.
Though I have some words of my own. (jumps onto a table)
Your attempt at writing is poor and uninteresting.
You're doing nothing clever, just kind of meandering.
I've seen better grammar from a third grade tyke,
I mean, this makes me wanna put my head on a spike.
You're just taking the Twin Dilemma and making it this,
Which resulted in a very dull pile of tish.
I don't know nor care what's going on, either.
Now excuse me while I feed myself to the spiders.
4546004 Too much of a gamble? A gamble is writing something that people might not enjoy because it's controversial or, in the case of a first chapter, making it long and a bit dry to set up the rest of the story. Bad writing isn't a gamble, it's only that: Bad Writing.
(checks groups and tags)
...This is supposed to be a parody?
I just decided to make the first chapter a little short and random then pick up the pace as it went along. The first 1.5 chapters suck on purpose basically. I was thinking too much about the later story and decided to breeze through the first one.
4546072 So this is a trollfic, then? That's the only excuse you have for the mistakes you made.
4546072 Also, there is a reply button. You seem to be replying to people. Use the button designated to the task. It works a lot better.
4546072
That's not sucking on purpose. That's being a lazy dumbass.
Sucking on purpose means you intentionally make a story bad to make it funny or to poke fun at the things wrong with the thing your parodying. Which you aren't. It's called being LAZY! Bad comedy is among the most worthless pieces of excrement the world has to offer.
So in brief: This sucks.
Also, use the motherf-yay-ing reply button! It's there for a flipping reason!
4546101 So sorry, I didn't notice there was a reply button
Honestly, I think this is better then most Doctor Hooves stories and I just don't want to go back to touch up the first part. It was mostly a placeholder and a way to see what works here.
I wanted a very short introduction and I still don't want to go back on it. The negative criticism, or lack thereof, from my end I see as the part of the 6th Doctor experience, which I'm starting to see as funny.
No one liked the 6th Doctor, but he's my favorite. This parallel makes me laugh a little and so I decide to keep it that way.
Now back to not talking to anyone specifically. You guys talked so much about part one that I'm worried you can'ts see parts Two and Three. Is there a problem on my end or did some people actually liked Part One?
4546194 I'M TALKING ABOUT THE WHOLE STORY.
4546144 ...Son, are you saying you're intentionally writing poorly, refusing to care or fix it, and seeing all our criticisms of your hasty ass development as merely "a thing people do when anything is Sixth Doctor related"?
Here's the thing: The main bad things about the Sixth Doctor Era were the writers. Which were, half the time, doing real shitty. Little lesson: Colin Baker is in no way a bad actor, nor a bad Doctor. Hell, if you check out books and audio dramas, it isn't too bad. But the 6th video era still wasn't very good in MANY aspects. You know why, besides active screwover attempts by the network head? Because sometime the writers. Just. Sucked.
So, can ya guess why we think this is bad?
4546223 I can't, break it down for me. All I've heard was, "You suck," "Go fuck yourself," and you posted a video. If you don't tell me anything then that's not criticism.
I promise, the rest of the stories will be written in the Third part writing style, if I don't improve.
So, tell me something.
4546262 Did you miss 4546038 this? I made it very clear, if blunt and short.
4546265 If I may quote that in my own words, "Grammar sucks, that story is unoriginal, and you don't care about what's going on in the story."
I guess it would be too much to ask to point out the mistakes in the story, but that would actually help me. Plus the editor doesn't let me remove the indent in the first part so theres a bunch of run-on sentences there.
Saying unoriginal could just be opinion based, and that could also explain why you don't care about the story.
The real focus of the story, for me, was developing the main characters. If you could tell me what you didn't like about the characters, that would also help.
Just saying that I suck is not the constructing criticism I'm looking for.
4546337 'Grammar sucks' is a pretty much all-around and self-explanatory bit of criticism. Your grammar sucks; learn to make it not suck. Read up on all that you can about grammatical structure and don't use shit you're unfamiliar with.
'The story is unoriginal' is also pretty self-explanatory and, despite what you may think, is not opinion-based. It's a terrible rehashing of Twin Dilemmas; nothing original.
Yes, it does, you're just not using it right. Also, that's not an excuse for run-on sentences.
'We don't care about what's going on in the story is probably, outside of the grammar, the most legit bit of criticism anybody can provide. This means that your story is bland and lacking anything that makes a story interesting or engaging. There's no hook, nothing to grab on to. A big, empty field of white.
4546262
So we're not breaking it down enough for ya?
Wow, I should have explained what exactly a parody should be and what you weren't doing-
Oh wait.
4546144
And another thing
Stop being a pretentious narcissist. It's annoying and frankly, makes you come off as an asshole.
So, you really think this is "better" than most Doctor Hooves stories? I'm sorry, but it seems to me that a fic I can barely stomach through the first paragraph would be defined as WORSE than most other Doctor Who fics, which I can at least make it through a chapter. The popular opinion seems to differ on your statement that this is "better" than most Doctor Who fics.
4546394 I think we're running in circles because that also doesn't help because I think my grammar is perfect.
I want you to see this from my perspective so I'm just going to write a short review for the story.
With barely any lead in, the Doctor crashed into Coco's apartment. I hate long intros that take place way before the action starts. The Doctor just crushing through a wall is a plus for me.
The Doctor is acting weird and Coco is not sure how to react. What follows is complete nonsense and after some time the Doctor just leaves. The whole ordeal gets dismissed by the reader and the next part begins.
Commander Lang is briefly introduced and we get a hint to what is going on with him. This also gets forgotten by the reader as the Doctor goes to buy muffins and gets ready to leave. She stops before leaving and thinks about Coco.
We get back to Coco who is lamenting her Doctor experience. We get an idea about how she feels about all this and the Doctor shows up to insult her. The Doctor dismisses her and tries to run from some guards.
The First Mestor scene beggins and the Doctor fights her way out, forgetting to check on Mestor who the uses Coco's body and introduces himself through the other ponies in the city. Cliffhanger.
Next part has a chase scene and a short dialogue that shows off what the Doctor can do. After that the Doctor goes outside and sees the aftermath. The reader can guess what she is feeling.
Going back to Coco, Mestor lashes out at the Doctor using Coco's body and the Doctor finally feels bad.
Mestor's death scene, the Doctor is still sort of an ass.
Going back to Coco's apartment, Coco is invited to join and thing seem fine. To be continued...
That's what I see and that's solid.
Hell with this. I'm Siggy Stardust of the Rainbow Road, and since the author seems a bit thick, this is getting a full on review. Let's begin!
Now. Starting off is your description, which... Is a summary of the Doctor Who series with a minor alteration to be ponified. For one, this is unnecessary. Your description should tell us something about your story, not the far better series it's based on. Hell, it actually looks like you just copypasted it from elsewhere and changed a few instances of words to something pony related.
Looking at your first paragraph doesn't bode well for us either.
For god's sake, just use tenses and the POV right! "It's huge honor" makes your narrator sound like a stereotypical "Asian has troubre with Engrish," as well. And when starting a story, you REALLY need a hook of some sort. Instead, we get that paragraph, which fails to draw in any interest.
And the tense and POV problem I mentioned, dear viewers of this review? It goes on. And on. For the whole frickin' story. Next up, the TARDIS crashes through the window, and she goes inside.
Why would she IMMEDIATELY get that conclusion? I mean, really. Come on. And... Then two immediate problems present themselves. One, you present Derpy Hooves as the Doctor, which just doesn't make much sense, especially considering other material. The other, is one that becomes EXTREMELY obvious once you piece the fic title, content, and chapter titles together: This is an adaptation of "The Twin Dilemma." Here's the thing, there are good Colin Baker Era Doctor Who episodes. But if you want to show that they CAN be good, YOU DON'T USE THE TWIN FUCKING DILEMMA.
Ugh. Anyway. So more bullshit continues as a chase happens back and forth between Coco and Derpy/Doctor, with very wooden interaction and more bad grammar. Then it stops. Then more stuff with the Doctor falling out the window- Jesus Christ, I just can't get any interest in this. It's so BORING. And this is supposed to be a comedy!
Anyway, next chapter is some stuff with actual reason, as people are actually investigating the fact that a fucking box fell from the sky and crashed into a building. Of course, then... This happens.
...(rubs face) I assume this is supposed to be part of the comedy bit of the story. Instead it comes off as obnoxious and running off a dead meme. Ugh.
Anyway, next Coco angsts about shit, and for some reason we get her backstory. Even though everyone knows it. I mean, this isn't an OC, we already know who she is and what happened to her! Then more angst about her being ruined because something crashed through her wall. Which is fairly reasonable, though the writing just makes it come off as whiny. More bad comedy. Then it's another copying of a TD scene. Joy. They fight a bit in the TARDIS, then... I honestly lose track here. It's just so rushed, disjointed, and loosely connected, and it doesn't help that none of this is interesting enough to keep any attention for very long. All I get is "LOOK AT IT," then Celestia is a slug, and then a fucker named Mestor (Which sounds more like a toddler attempting to say Meat Store than a threat). So, that's chapter 2. Then Chapter 3 is just... Stuff. It's just a bunch of... Stuff. No style or substance, just stuff that happens and someone trying to figure out how to pilot the TARDIS. Then Coco hates the Doctor, then Mestor dies, and then Coco goes with the Doctor.
No, even if I gave you context, it would make just as much, maybe even less sense.
All throughout the story, it's just STUFF and YELLING. Uninteresting, unoriginal, boring blobs dripping on the screen like the shit from your mouth. The grammar being poor is NOWHERE near as big an issue, despite how shitty it is, compared to your just throwing pure ass at the screen. This fic is supposed to be a comedy and a parody too, but it isn't funny or clever, it's a shitty pun and one less than 300 word thing that feels like it's 5,000. This. Is. BORING! And guess what? You know what's going on because you wrote it, but we don't, because we didn't have an idea beforehand and we're just looking at your stupid bullshit! Stop being a fucking narcissist you assmouth!
My work here is done.
4546485
...Did you seriously review your own story?
...Seriously?
~Skeeter The Lurker
4546394 I believe you have just earned my eternal respect.
4546485
That's not a review. That's a summary.
Also, nice, not including examples or references to your "impeccable" grammar skills. Like I said, you didn't review your story, you just have a synopsis of it while trying to excuse your horrible writing skills.
4546485
...Two things: One, my dad is a college level English Professor and I'm actually qualified to at least teach Eighth Grade English, and we can both agree your grammar is shit. Two, stop being an arrogant twat and shut your whore mouth. You're not helping yourself. At all.
4546501 About the description thing, I think you're going to hate me even more once I say this but, this is supposed to be like an anthology and I labeled it as incomplete because I will put the next story right here next.
Hard to get that impression from only one story here, but I'm going to keep writing and use the same style. Isn't what I'm typing a good enough example of my grammar anyway?
So... not a big spoiler but, the next one will take place in Redwall, as in the Redwall book series and I will insert my Doctor in there. It will be mostly based on the first season of the animated show, but I have one book in the series for additional reference, if that makes anyone feel better.
Next one is going to be... Megaman with ponies. Endless originality I'd say. If you stick around then you will also hate the story after that, won't spoil that one.
I don't think stopping writing will help me get any more awesome then I already am so... it's your decision to stick around or go read another fic. That also goes to everyone else.
4546628
Okay, you know what? I'm almost beyond your story now, because now I just dislike you as a person. You arrogant, annoying, clod, you shmuck, you dickless, mindless, shitbrained, uncouth, asshole! Obnoxious, preposterous, pretentious, malignant FUCK! Your story skills are crap, you rush everything, and you think how you type in a comment affects your writing? Fuck you! And fuck your declaration of yourself as the greatest writer in the universe! Stephenie Meyer would agree that your writing is crap! Your use of other material doesn't make you original, you shitbrained cockmonkeying uncle-fuck! That just shows your desperation for views attention and praise! SHUT! THE FUCK! UP! JUST LISTEN, AND GET THAT DICK OUT OF YOUR EAR!
EDIT: Just to be clear, this comment is ENTIRELY not serious. It is silly and I am well aware of it.
4546659 I think we should stop for now, but if you want to continue then you could become one of my followers and receive updates on my other "awful" stories that might come out eventually.
So... yeah... your opinion, my opinion, whatever.
By popular opinion it has been changed from Comedy to Random. Maybe I'll tell a joke one day...
4546717 Why in EVERY god's name would I EVER want to receive updates from you? I wouldn't follow you if you were the only god damn writer here. And it's not just opinion about the story, it's understanding basic grammatical skill and structuring. YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND IT. An example of a good writer is J.R.R. Tolkien, Stephen King, Terry Pratchett, Grant Morrison, Neil Gaiman, Aldolus Huxley, Orson Welles, H.P. Lovecraft, Dostoyevesky, Andrew Lloyd Weber. All of these are great examples of writers. They have taken time to construct their stories, make them memorable. They don't rush everything into 5,000 or so words. I can safely say, sir, it's not opinion, your grammar and structure is terrible, thus your story is terrible. Get over your arrogance and holier-than-thou attitude.
Oh, and if you consider saying "You haven't written a story, so how would you know?" in response... Just don't.
media.moddb.com/images/groups/1/5/4739/Pies_You_Say.gif
And what the fuck is this?
4546802 The reason that you should run like hell.
4546628 Oh god, I'm not even that arrogant. That's saying something, too. Perhaps.... Perhaps you should cut your hands off before you type any more asinine tripe.
4546520 I'll be... going through it *shudders*... and pointing out his failed grammar so he can shut his stupid little face when I get off work, too. Figured I'd let ya know. Winky-face.
4548072 I have a little something-something done next week, so for now have fun with what I got.
All but a small price of horse fame...
4550507 Your little something-something is likely gonna be just as bad as this. That grammar correction will be postponed until i wake up, though, 'cause I'm fucking exhausted.
I will point out your shortcomings in that reply, though, since it'll only take a minute.
The 'I have', in context of its current use, is being used as a present-tense phrase (i.e. it's something you currently have), but 'next week' contradicts that statement, by showing that whatever 'it' is won't be done until some time in the future. This is easily corrected by using an auxiliary verb (will, in this case).
Also, in this sentence, you have a supporting phrase in the second half (that being 'for now') that requires punctuation since it would require some form of a pause during regular speech (unless you talk like a fucking crack-riddled chipmunk). Normally, 'for now' would be placed at the end of the sentence, thus removing the necessity of the commas, but, since it's used in the middle of the sentence, it's still required.
By the way, that last sentence (and this one) are an example of properly used and punctuated phrases.
This just screams uneducated. I assume you were meaning to say:
If not, then I am at a loss for what you're trying to say. Still, the proper sentence, in this case, would be:
I'd try and tell you what's wrong about the sentence, but it'd be easier to explain what's right. Nothing is right about it.
Maybe you'll be able to use some of what I've said from just your terribly written comment and apply it to your story before I wake up. I can only hope, but you know what they say about shit and wishes.
4550589 And here I was thinking it was going to be hard to find a proofreader
4550791 I'm only going through a little of it. I don't like you; I just want to put your ass in place.
Wow. This story sucks, but I can't tell what sucks more: this abomination you wrote, or your abominable attitude. Wow. It takes a lot to piss of literally everyone who even considers putting something in your comments section.
You should change your profile name to Mr. Narcissistic, it fits you. Hopefully, just like Narcissis, you get stuck staring at your "impeccable"
work and starve to death. We don't need bottom-feeding scum like you here, we have plenty of them already. Sadly.
Cheers.
4546072
okay, im confused. why would anyone want to make their story 'suck on purpose'? if the first part sucks hardly anyone is going to read the next parts, are they? Sheesh. Put some thought into your answers please
4553135
4546480
4550589
4546501
I can honestly say I'm having a lot more fun reading the comments than this abomination of a story.
You sir, mr derpctor, have some serious talent. You have managed to piss off every single person who bothered to try and offer you some help. Hell, I seriously respect Sigma for putting up with you so long.
Yes, as many people have pointed out, your grammar sucks. A lot. Seriously. Also, the plot seriously, seriously needs improvement. And you thought that your story was better than other doctor whooves stories? Wow. just...wow.
Not to diss Six (I kinda like him, actually) But you have inherited all the things that made others hate his era. aka, obnoxiousness, over-inflated ego, and sucky writing
Now go and take some grammar classes for gods sake. I suggest checking out a english textbook from your local library. My thirteen year old brother writes better than you
4546520
and you mine
I'm getting a feeling that my fans like me more for my speaking skills over my writing skills
4554489
You have fans? Are they blind or just stupid?
No offense meant if you're not, but you're coming off very trollish right now and that's not helping your case. That is unless you are trolling in which case mission accomplished.
4555135 I'm still getting likes, faves, and watches
In fact, after first few moments of me publishing this, it had more likes then dislikes
For some reason they're too scared to leave an actual comment and PM me instead
4555277
Yes, and as we all know any praise whatsoever immediately dismisses any negativity. I mean a whole four followers and two faves, you must be living the dream. Although if those faves, likes and watches are on fanfiction.com then I've seen people practically wipe their asses with a sheet of paper get faves, likes and watches on that site so it's not really a ringing endorsement.
And it seems you've gotten actual comments here. Or have you simply missed them? Here they are again just in case:
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There are actual comments there on what is wrong with your story & your attitude. So either you're a complete narcissist or you're trolling specifically to get the response you're getting. Regardless of your reasons, it's for those reasons shown that I'm not going to bother responding to you from here on in. If it's the former, then nothing I or anybody else says will change your mind because you've got your head up your ass. And if it's the latter, then you're being this way on purpose and I don't play that game.
I'll even give you the last word in this. Thanks for playing.