Dear Cuz'

by theNDinspector

More than a Sleepover

Dear Apple Bloom,

Oh my gosh, I have so many things to tell you that I don’t know where to start!

So we finally had the sleepover at the Patch Twins’ home this weekend. It was actually a lot better than I thought it would be. We played a lot of games like hide and seek and all that. For some reason, me and Rocky kept either finding each other or hiding in the same spot.

We tried to come up with a list of what we could do to get our cutie marks, but we just kept having too much fun playing around. Both Tomato and Flower have a ton of stuffed plushies around that were so cute and cuddly that I could just die there and be happy. Please don’t tell anypony about that.

Unfortunately Roller couldn’t stay for the night, but she managed to have dinner with us before she had to go home. The rest of us stayed though and had a great time. It was then that we made an interesting discovery.

I was looking at some pictures on the walls and found two familiar faces from some of my dad’s pictures. It was of my great-grandparents on my dad’s side, and they’re also Tomato’s and Flower’s great-grandparents too. That means that we’re cousins! True, its distant cousins of some type, but still related. To make things weirder is that they also have relatives in Ponyville, three aunts who run a flower shop, or something. So now the Twins are calling me “Cuz” just like I do to you, and I actually like it.

It seems that this who crusading business has become a family thing. We’ve certainly come a long way from fruit parade floats and me defending those foals in the park.

So that was my weekend. I still need to talk about it with my dad when he gets home, but that is just amazing. I can’t wait for the Equestria Game’s too. I don’t think I can be there personally, but Flo says that there might be some way that we can see your routine, so that should be exciting.

Your cousin,

Babs

Comments

[Awesomo3000]

Heeeey, cousiiiiiiiin!

[Firemind]

Hellz yes! I squee'd when Babs and Rocky kept operating on the same mental wavelength. Hmmm ... hadn't expected the Patch twins to be related to Babs too, but it makes sense. Also, Rocky is the only member of the Manehattan Crusaders who you haven't said whether he's an Earth Pony or a Unicorn (you've also said that Babs didn't know any Pegasi in Manehattan without their cutie marks, so he's not a Pegasus). I just re-read most of the story looking, skimming the chapters he wasn't featured heavily in. Between his name and how he's written (no mention of a horn or magic), he comes off as an Earth Pony, and Manehattan certainly seems to be skewed towards them, but it'd be nice to pin down.

[theNDinspector]

5588448 I hadn't realized that that I never made that clear, but Rocky is in fact an earth-pony. Not really a big dramatic reveal, but if I meant for him to be something else then I probably would have mentioned it when Babs was first describing the CMC Manhattan. So there you are.

I'm glad you liked everything else too.

[Firemind]

5588898 That's kinda what I thought; I went back to double-check everypony's descriptions more as a refresher, and noticed the omission. Interesting contrast between the coincidentally-all-Earth-Pony Manehattan Crusaders and the one-of-each Ponyville bunch. And before you ask; no, I'm not complaining.

[theNDinspector]

5589934 Oh wait, it's in the CMC: Manehattan chapter where Babs describes Roller as being an earth pony, and then states that Rocky is too.

She reminds me of Scootaloo, except that she’s an earth pony, and not a pegasus. In fact, so is Rocky Road.

It's a bit of an afterthought, and a small line, but it is there. Though looking at it now, that sentence is rather confusing since the one preceding it has multiple ideas.
That's what I get for deciding not to do extensive editing on this story since I wanted it to be as authentic as possible to letter-writing, where you don't really do much editing--especially when your a kid.

Ah ha! There I go dodging responsibility!

In all seriousness though, that is the writing style here. I write it up, do some small editing of spelling and grammar-- making sure it at least makes sense (even with some intentional errors) and I like where its going--and then post it. Sometimes, though, things get lost in translation.

[Firemind]

5590028 Crap! Now I feel a little foolish; just a little ... as it is more than a little miss-able. Perfectly in character, though ... especially since Babs is around 8 (at least in human terms - I see Ponies as growing up at similar rates to us past the first year or so, but that's just my take on it), and I doubt grammar is her best subject in school; and I don't think it's Applebloom's either.

[theNDinspector]

5590063 Although, Apple Bloom does seem to have "better" grammar in her writing than talking--at least in the way I do it in this story. I highly doubt that Miss Cheerilee would let her get away with using "Ah" for "I" in any of her papers--not to mention it wouldn't make a lick of sense since accents aren't synonymous with grammar.

Sorry southern accent, but you don't lend yourself well to the written word when you're trying to depict someone writing as opposed to talking.

Whoo-hoo! 100th comment!

[Firemind]

5590102 Very true on all counts, though I can imagine Cheerilee getting on her case for using "Ain't" (Or something similar) in an essay. That said, being able to add regional turns of phrase can be a wonderful thing, either when the characters are writing letters, or you are taking pains to avoid the "Funetik Aksent" shtick.

[theNDinspector]

5591227 Considering I don't live anywhere near the South or New York, I will probably stay away from phrases that I simply don't know, or don't understand the context of. Otherwise I might risk coming off as stereotypical.

[Firemind]

5594367 Fair enough.