• Published 4th May 2014
  • 6,548 Views, 599 Comments

Love Needs No Reason - Evowizard25

Discord is lonely and looking for something to spice up his life. Luckily for him, and unfortunately for Applejack, he's found the one thing that can help him out.

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Bonus Chapter: The Chase pt. 1

Author's Note:

Hello my faithful viewers. Now I know you all are waiting for the sequels/side fics to come from this verse. Well, there are two currents ones:

Notes of Love: This is the fic that started the Frederic/Pinkie Pie ship you saw in a couple of chapters.

The Greatest Treasure: Yep. This is why you didn't see Celestia or why she won't be appearing in a while in this verse.

Anyways, I wanted to talk about this part. I originally planned to write this when I first started this fic, but dropped due to several reasons. I'm not going into them, but I felt bad doing it. So, to tide you guys over till the sequel/sidefic mentioned in the 'last' chapter, I decided to publish the 'lost' episode as it were. You don't have to read this and you can skip it.

I just hope you enjoy this little bonus content and that it tides you over till the next story. Part 2 will be finished soon. Please leave a comment.

Ah never felt such a strong combination of fear and anger before in my life. It was supposed to be just another simple delivery. Okay, us apples don’t often get called up by the princesses. More like never really, so it was a big deal, but still. Ah never had this much trouble with a purchase. Ah can thank Discord for this. By thank him, ah meant buck him to kingdom come. ‘Course, ah couldn’t do that now. Luna was hot on my trail, runnin’ faster than a trout in bear season. So ah just used my anger to push myself faster.

Maybe it wasn’t too late. Maybe ah could talk Luna out of killin’ me. Discord was questionable.

“I WILL ADORN MY THRONE WITH YOUR SKULLS!” Luna’s powerful voice rang out, nearly deafenin’ me.

Guess that plan was just thrown out the window.

“Hop on!” Discord’s voice yelled out over some weird mechanical noise. It sounded like an engine of some sorts. Ah looked over to see the varmint riding some kind of tech-bike, wearing one of those ‘pilot’ outfits ah see Cherry Berry wear all the time. There was a little seat attached to it.

“What the hay is that?” Ah asked, runnin’ fer my life still.

“It’s a bike,” Discord rolled his eyes. “Red, stop talking and get in. You don’t want Luna to catch you, do you?”


Without thinkin’, ah jumped into the little seat. Guess ah was scared of Luna more than ah hated Discord. Ah didn’t realize how out of breath ah was, ‘fore ah stopped runnin’. Ah did my best to keep my breath under control. That and keepin’ my hoof from punchin’ Discord’s jaw.

“Funny,” Discord commented. “She always struck me as an axe pony.”

“Do ya have a plan?” Ah gave him a pleadin’ look. Oh, please, please have a plan.

“The best one ever devised,” Discord grinned, ‘fore he pulled a blue lever. “RUNAWAY!” The mech-bike suddenly shot out blue flames from it’s rear end, coverin’ everythin’ it touched in black soot. It sped on forward as fast as Rainbow can fly.

“That’s not a plan!” Ah yelled. “She’s still comin’ after us.”

Discord laughed, turnin’ the bike this way and that. Somehow he was able to keep from hittin’ a single pony. It almost felt like we were rollin’ around them like liquid. “She’ll never catch us.”

Life’s kind of funny when ya think about it. When ya think yer ahead of yer problems, they have a habit of sneakin’ up on ya. In this case, a giant, blue forcefield appearin’ in the middle of an empty courtyard right in front of us. Only had a few seconds to think about this before-

OW! Smashin’ into a forefield is a lot worse than ah thought it’d be. Maybe it’s because the darn varmint was racin’ about so fast.

Didn’t get to think much more ’fore ah hit the ground. Luckily, that crazy mech-bike vanished. Unluckily, Luna smashed her forehooves into Discord’s back. The moment the varmint hit the ground, he vanished.

“Come back, you cur!” Luna shouted, her swords swinging angrily about in her magical grasp. “Face me and receive an honorable death.”

“When have I ever been one for honor, Lulu?” Discord voice chuckled, before his tail shot out of the ground and smashed into Luna’s chin. The force sent her into the air, but she quickly recovered with a flap of her wings. Discord popped into existence a little distance away. His grin grew wider as Luna’s scowl grew deeper. “Are we going to play pattycake or are you just going to fess up the bits? I’m a busy god, Lulu. I have places to be. Maidens to woo.”

“No maiden would wish to have such a beast as you,” Luna shot a blue bolt of magic at Discord, who spun around it easily. He fired a purple beam of magic out of one of his fingers. Didn’t know he could do that. Luna formed a shield around herself.

“Awesome, isn’t it?” Night Watch’s voice spoke up beside me.

Ah turned my head to the side so fast ah almost got whiplash. Honestly, ah forgot all about her. Felt bad about that, but seein’ her sultry look, ah couldn’t be blamed. Sure, she’s attractive fer a batpony. Ah just wasn’t lookin’ fer somebody right now, especially one so forward. “Eyup.” Ah gulped nervously.

The bat pony guard strolled up beside me and fluttered her eyes. “I see those years on the farm paid off.” She poked my shoulder and let out a pleasant ‘ohhh’. “Nice and firm.” She licked her lips.

Discord, teleport us. TELEPORT US!

Discord was a might bit too busy to help. The two gods were blastin’ away at each other, dodgin’ and weaving around random blasts of energy. Almost look like some sort of ballet Rarity took me that one time. Just a friendly outin’, of course. She ain’t my type.

“Seven minutes,” Discord grinned. He was standin’ up straight with his finger pointin’ out as he fired. Fer some reason, he was wearin’ a black overcoat and sunglasses. He kept teleportin’ to throw off Luna’s aim. “Seven minutes is all I’ll wait for you to pay up.”

“I’ll kill you in six,” Luna answered. Her form twirled into a tornado. The swords at the head and it shot at Discord with blindin’ speed. Discord had been a bit too close when she did it, so he only had time to bring up his arm. The attack struck...

His shield. Discord, somehow, had magicked up a blood red shield. It had was a circular shield and had eight, jagged arrows pointin’ out of it. Gave me the creeps. Discord held his ground as Luna’s attack kept spiralin’ into it.

“Neat trick,” Night Watch commented. She broke out into a wicked grin that unsettled me. A lot of what she did had that effect. “But it won’t help him.”

Ah raised an eyebrow at that, before ah saw a shadow flow around Discord. Luna’s form shot out of the shadow and bucked Discord hard in the back. Discord and his shield flew forwards. It was just thank to Discord’s lithe body did the spinning blades miss him. Of course, Luna teleported over and smashed her hooves into his head. The blow pushed him to the ground. Actually, into the ground like somepony plantin’ a see. Her swords appeared before her and she...she...drove them into his body!

Night Watch held me back. “It’s going to take more than that to kill him.”

Her point proved to be true. No sooner than the swords cut through his body, purple blood splatterin’ the ground, did Discord’s tail wrap around Luna’s neck and threw her into her own statue, collapsin’ on top of her. He picked himself out of the ground. A second pair of arms sprouted from his back and pulled out his swords. They held it out to his front ones and he gladly took them. Instantly, the second pair of arms vanished.

Discord threw one of the swords into the air and grabbed his shield. He turned the sword in his other hand around and the second sword’s hilt hit and joined up with the first, makin’ some sort of double edged short spear. He still look pretty bruised up, but he was smirkin’ as his body closed up the wounds. “Strike harder, Lulu! You almost had me there.”

Luna shot out of the ruined statue like a rocket. Her roar of anger, shook the very mountain and even caused Discord to flinch in fear. Several bolts of shadow magic shot out at him. Ah never thought Discord was the fightin’ type. He always seemed like he preferred to run away, but now? He was swirlin’ his twin blades around, cutting up the tendrils of magic. His shield bounced back blows.

“Your time is running out, Lulu.” Discord cackled.

He’s tickin’ her off on purpose still? What the hay is goin’ on in his mind? Princess Luna looks like she’s gonna tear him apart. Was she gettin’ darker, or is somethin’ playin’ tricks on me eyes?

“She often gets like this when Discord’s around,” Night Watch said. “Though, she can be a bit moody other times too. Doesn’t help that Discord is a complete plothole.” She scoffed and looked up at me. “At least I have a little company this time.” Somethin’ sparked in her eyes. The same kind of somethin’ ah see all the time sparklin’ in that dancer back in Ponyville: Sweetcream Scoops. That didn’t help my situation at all.

“Not sure if we’re in the same field,” ah gulped, startin’ to sweat.

Night Watch pouted. Which was kinda adorable. “Awww, you’re shy.” She grinned. “I happen to like shy guys.”

Nope, nope, nope. Ain’t dealin’ with this. Not my time to settle down. Ah was sweatin’ up a storm at this point.

Discord’s luck seemed to have been gettin’ better. When Luna shot at him like a rocket, he sidestepped her and rammed his shield into her side. As she fell to the ground, the marble ground came to life. It formed around her body, leavin’ just her head out. Discord chuckled, struttin’ towards her. He lightly tapped Luna with the tip of her own sword. “Now, are you going to pay up?”

Luna didn’t say anything. Instead, her form became nothin’ but shadows which quickly shot out of the ground. The shadow formed around Discord, revealin’ Luna holdin’ him firmly around the chest. She flapped backwards, summersaults in the air, and rammed DIscord’s head into the ground. She teleported a distance and fired a large, blue bolt of magic into Discord.

Ah winced all the way through that. Looked incredibly painful. Somehow, Discord still had enough strength to teleport over to me. He was battered and huffing in exhaustion. “She’s gotten tougher over the years, I’ll give her that.” Suddenly his grin returned. “Makes it all the more fun.” He grabbed my shoulder. “But I think it’s best we run.” Suddenly, we were gone.

Then ah was underwater...UNDERWATER! Ah held my hooves to my throat, desperate to keep the air inside me. Discord was just rollin’ his eyes and he snapped his fingers. “Big Baby.”

Then ah felt somethin’ on my neck. Touchin’ it, ah found ah had gills now. “Gills?”

“I couldn’t just let you drown,” Discord said it like it was obvious. “I’m not that cruel.”

“Ah never said ya were,” ah retorted. “So...where are we?”

“Well, we’re near the sunken city of Atlantis.” Discord reverently said. He waved his hands in the air and a school of flashin’ fish formed a glowin’ sign that said ‘Welcome to Atlantis. No plugs allowed’. He pouted. “We’ll see about that.” He grinned deviously, swingin’ a plug around his finger.

“So Luna won’t find us here?”

“She will,” Discord grumbled. He tossed the plug to the side, which promptly exploded into fireworks. Said fireworks worked themselves up into a frenzy, becomin’ little light-fish. “She’s persistent. It’s one of her few redeeming traits.”

“Sounds like y’all have a lot of bad blood between y’all,” ah said. There was quite a bit of venom in Discord’s voice whenever he spoke about her.

“It’s personal,” Discord snapped, fury blazin’ in his eyes. Fer the first time since ah really got to know the guy, ah was scared out of my wits. Then, as quickly as it came, his grin returned. “Now then, how about a tour.” A rush of water pushed me on to his back. His tail started up like a motor, pushin’ us through the water. “I know this place like the back of my paw.”

Just then, a bunch of little creatures came floatin’ around us. They had pony like heads, but curled tails and small fins on their sides. They smiled and giggled as they swam around us. Ah knew Fluttershy would definitely love these critters. Then they began to sing.

“Shoo be doo. Shoo, shoo-”

“NO!” Discord raised a hand to silence them. Their mouths popped off their bodies and then started dancing on their heads. “None of that. Shame on you.” He gave them a glare like a parent would to a misbehavin’ child. They all bowed their heads and their mouths returned. He patted one of them on the head. “Oh don’t be so glum. I do so love your singing. Just….” he growled. “I told you about that song.” Then, one of his eyes turned into a lightbulb. “However, I do have a friend coming over. Would you like to play for her?” The creatures all happily nodded. “I knew you would. Make me proud, girls.” They took off, racin’ off to somewhere.

“Why’d ya stop them?” Ah asked. Discord was bein’ a might bit rude with ‘em.

“Because of several reasons,” Discord snorted. “I don’t hate them. They are practically my kids in a way. What I hate is that song. Dreadful business it was. I mean, I invented the Horseseas to be as annoying as possible and then what happens the moment I get turned to stone? Luna thought it would be hilarious to put me several leagues under the sea and listen to them sing endlessly.” He growled. “Thankfully, Celestia has some decency. So instead, I’m used as a lawn ornament. Don’t even get me started on the pigeons.”

Ah tapped my chin. “Come to think of it, ah don’t recall seein’ any pigeons in Canterlot.”

Discord just broke out into a nasty grin.


Well, today certainly is full of surprises. Nasty ones and sexy ones. Not sure if the sexy one makes up for dealing with Luna’s rage. She was likely to turn on me if she did. Well, not kill me, but she’d make my day a living Tartarus. Her glare told me that much. Still, that hunk of a stallion might just be worth it.

“We follow,” Luna growled, working her joints. Her bruises were already mending. I had to give it to immortals. They were nigh unstoppable at times. “I will not allow that cur to escape justice.”

“Umm, Your Majesty?” I held up a hoof to get her attention. While I was nervous, I was a trained guard. I had faced countless monsters roaming the land and I’ve dealt with Luna’s tantrums before. The problem is that I ‘know’ how bad she can get. “Maybe we should just pay up? I mean, they did deliver their apples and you’ve whacked Discord around for a bit.”

“Nay,” Luna shook her head. “That beast must pay!” Her horn lit up and immediately, we were transported underwater. I was given gills before I could drown, so that was a plus. Drowning wasn’t something I wanted to experience. If I had to go, it’d be on the battlefield, surrounded by the corpses of my slain foes.

Or being sexed to death. That sounded alright.

Luna’s form changed much more than I. Her mane was gone, replaced by fins. Her fur was now scales and her tail with more like a dolphins. “Come, Night Watch. They shant escape my wrath here.” To which, we started off.

We didn’t get far before we heard something swimming towards us. My blades were at the ready. My fangs were bared. I was itching for a fight. What approached was...Oh you’ve got to be kidding me. These look like creatures a four year old would make. They had pony head, tiny flippers and a coiled tail. Then they even had the gall to start singing.

“Shoo be doo. Shoo, shoo-”

“NO!” Luna’s roar shook the whole ocean. “None of that.” She jabbed her hoof at the creatures. “Shame on you. SHAME!” The creatures lowered their heads and swam off.

“Good work, Your Highness.” I grinned.

Luna smirked. “I do my best. Now, let us find those miscreants.”

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