• Published 4th May 2014
  • 6,567 Views, 599 Comments

Love Needs No Reason - Evowizard25

Discord is lonely and looking for something to spice up his life. Luckily for him, and unfortunately for Applejack, he's found the one thing that can help him out.

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The Thinking Tree Discussion

Being the goddess of Love pretty much makes me the goddess of shipping.

No, not like ‘shipping and handling’. That’d be stupid and unnecessary. I mean, whoever heard of a mailpony princess....Yeah, that was hypocritical and mean of me to say. Come on, I babysitted countless little fillies and colts. Not the most princessy job out there.

Anyways, in all my years I’ve seen some odd couples: Sea-ponies and changelings, donkeys and griffons, Troodon and ponies. But this right here took the cake…And ate it voraciously.

“Applejack?!!” I shouted. “You want to court Applejack?!!”

Discord’s head was rattling about, shaken up by my scream. Placing his hands on his head to steady it, he gave me a quick glare. “Yes, that’s what I said. Are you ponies hard of hearing or something?”

“But but but,” I stammered. My mind couldn’t possibly come up with the right words to say at the moment. I knew I was going to have to get used to this feeling. I never did.

“But what?” Discord’s neck stretched until his face got right up into mine. I couldn’t help but reel back, trying to distance myself at least a little from touching him. I saw the slight smirk on his face.

It took me a moment to come up with a response. It’s kind of hard to talk when all…that is just thrust upon you, not to mention the god of chaos shoving his face in my own. “But you barely know her.”

Discord scoffed and reeled back his neck. “I know enough.”

“Like?” I raised an eyebrow.

“She’s an apple,” Discord raised the fateful apple. “And I am destined to be her very special…something or another.”

Oh, I could see his determination as plain as day. If there was one thing I learned about Discord, he’s persistent. That and he’s got enough pride and ego to coat the world thrice over. But I had one question. A very important question indeed.

“But do you know her?”

Discord looked at me with a tilted head and a confused expression. “What?”

“Do you know her?” I said with a little more force.

Discord chuckled. “Well, of course I know her. She’s Applejack.”


Discord started touching the fingers on his right hand as he counted. “She lives on a farm, wears a Stetson, is friends with Fluttershy….”

“And?” I made a motion with my hooves for him to continue. ‘He has to have something else. Something substantial.’

“She lives with her family….” Discord started tapping his chin.

“Anything else?” I all but growled. I was getting sick of this. I know I shouldn’t lose my temper. He’s Discord, this was something he usually did. But come on! That’s basic!

“She’s orange.” He offered half-heartedly. He even went on to shrug as though anything more didn’t matter.

“And that’s it?” I gave him my best ‘unamused face’.

Snapping his fingers and giving out a laugh, he booped my nose. “That’s it. That adorable face she makes when she has to put up with me. You nailed it with a capital N!” The next thing I knew, I was holding a large Orange N and Discord was wearing a green game show suit and blowing on a pink party horn! The letter fit perfectly in my forehooves and thankfully, it didn’t weigh anything. It almost felt like holding solid air. ‘It might actually be just that.’ I mused.

But that doesn’t matter. What does matter is the hot blush spread across my face. ‘He called my ‘unamused face’ adorable.’ I simply didn’t know how to take that. Yes, he was comparing me to Applejack, but still. I wasn’t used to people calling me cute in a situation like that. Whenever I gave Shining that expression, he gets all panicky and tries to talk his way out. Needless to say, I find his antics so delightful. Except when he forgets about our anniversary for one of his game convention things. ‘A week on the couch was being too nice.’ Discord apparently didn’t take me being serious…seriously. I kind of liked that.

Shaking away the blush and my wayward thoughts, I shot him a harsh glare. “And that’s all?”

Discord nodded. “What else can I say? She’s one in a million billion Gazillion!” The god plucked an abacus up from behind him with his tail and started randomly moving the pieces. “I did the math.”

I face-hooved and sighed. “We all have to start somewhere, I suppose.” I took my hoof off my face. “So all we need to do is go to Applejack and…”

“Already did that.”

I frowned. “What?”

“I already went to her today.” Discord stated. He was filing his nails with a cheese grater. “She seems a little reluctant to go through with the idea. So I just asked her to marry me.”

“YOU DID WHAT?!!” The force of my voiced rivalled, if not surpassed, Luna’s Royal Canterlot voice.

Discord was blown off the tree, but appeared next to me in a flash. The god of chaos laughed. “You’ve definitely got a pair of lungs on you. Are you sure you aren’t Luna’s daughter?”


Discord rolled his eyes and put an arm around me, pulling me to his side. I would be lying if I said his fur wasn’t soft and inviting…Not like Shining’s, but a good runner up. “What’s got you all in a hiffy fit?”

Looking up at him, I grit my teeth, giving him the harshest of glares. “You asked her to marry you.”

“Yes, and?”

“You don’t just marry beings you barely know.”

“Well what about arranged marriages?”

“Those were put out of practice ages ago. Nopony does that barbaric practice anymore.” ‘Good riddance.’ I thought. Forcing ponies to marry each other wasn’t something I could condone in the slightest.

Discord tapped his chin. “Times have changed much since I’ve been gone.”

“Yes, and for the better.” I huffed in annoyance. Discord’s out of date mannerisms were bad, but at least they weren’t ‘Luna’ bad.

You don’t want to know what I have to put up with when dealing with her. If you thought Discord could be annoying, Luna is a whole other level. At least Discord’s doing it on purpose and you can have fun along the way.

“So, what’s wrong with what I did? Applejack should be honored that a god such I desires her.”

“Honored?” And just like that, my anger burst forth. Pushing the annoying spirit away, I flared my wings in a sign of aggression. It’s a staple thing all pegasi do. It goes back to ancient times. Pegasi perform the act to make themselves look larger and more intimidating then they already are, in hopes of scaring off rivals and predators. As the goddess of love, this made me purely terrifying to behold. “You think she should be honored?”

“Yes?” Discord seemed unsure of his answer and he should be. The god of chaos was starting to sweat.

“She shouldn’t be honored that you like her,” I harshly poked his chest. “She should feel flattered. Although, I don’t even think she should feel that. Not after that comment.”

“What comment?”

Growling, I tried to explain. “Just because you’re a god, doesn’t mean you can have what you want. It also doesn’t mean everyone should bend over backwards and love the ground you walk on.”

“That’s not as fun as it sounds.” Discord huffed in agitation, crossing his arms.

“Marriage is a serious matter, Discord. It is something sacred and beautiful. Both parties have to love and support one another.”
Discord just mouthed my words in a mocking fashion. “Yes, I know.”

“And does Applejack love you?”

“That doesn’t…”

Before I could stop myself, I pounced on him. Unluckily for the both of us, we fell of the branch. Lucky for me, it wasn’t a long fall and I landed on top of him. Discord groaned, no doubt in both pain and discomfort. I didn’t care. I just put my face in his, staring into his eyes and his very soul. “YES! It does matter. Applejack matter, or are you just using her for some sick game?”

Discord growled and glared back up at me, which was a little surprising. Not many creatures can do so without any fear. The only other was Chrysalis. “I’m not fooling around with this, Cadance. If I just wanted to joke with her, I wouldn’t get you involved. I wouldn’t drag you into my thinking tree, which you so rudely knocked me out of, and ask for your help.”

“Then take this seriously, Discord,” I gave him a pleading look. “Don’t treat this like a game. This is Applejack’s heart we’re talking about. Do you really want to break it?”

“I’m not a murderer, Candy,” Discord rolled his eyes. “No matter what those little kiddy stories would lead you to believe. Nor am I without a heart. Breaking one is the last thing I want to do…anymore.”

“Then do this right.” I got off him, allowing him to stand and brush himself off. “Love Applejack and let her love you.”

Discord sighed and hung his head. “Oh, and pray tell me how? I believe I, as the ponies these day say, suck at love.”

Smiling, I nuzzled his side. “With a little help and determination, that’s how.”

Discord chuckled. “I’m not used to having help. I’ll probably make this extremely irksome for you.”

I giggled. “Oh, no doubt.” And I meant that, but I couldn’t help but aid the god of chaos with this little adventure. Especially now, seeing him so down and put off. It wasn’t something I liked seeing and by my Aunts, I was going to make him happy.

“So Candy, what are we going to do now?”

Grinning like a madmare, I addressed him. “The same thing I always do, Discord. Make love work.”
*Sweet Apple Acres*

It was like any other afternoon on the farm. Ah was buckin’ trees like there was no tomorrow for the upcomin’ celebration in town:
Hearts and Hooves Day.

Never really cared much fer the darn holiday. Ah always felt like it was made to rub us single ponies the wrong way. Like we were unnatural, bein’ without a special somepony. ‘Ah’ll get one, when ah get one, ya blasted varmints.’ Ah thought.

Anyways, ah was workin’ with ma little sister collectin’ apples, when ah felt my spine go frigid cold. Shakin’, ah also felt a slight headache comin’ up, and my behind was twitchin’ up a storm. To tell ya’ll the truth…ah was a bit scared of what was goin’ on with my body.

Apple Bloom noticed this and shot me a concerned gaze. “Are ya alright, big sis?”

“Ah’m fine, Apple Bloom,” Ah didn’t want her to fret none. She don’t need her little self worryin’ about her big sis. “Ah just cramped up a bit.”

“Kind of looked like one of Pinkie’s senses ta me,” Apple Bloom said.

Ya know, ah always wondered what Pinkie goes through when she has one of her little ‘senses’. It always seemed so weird and strange, but mighty useful. Bein’ able ta tell future events would work wonders fer the work on the farm. It was always just a little thought ah played with, nothin’ serious. If this was it, ah felt sorry for the pink mare.

Realizin’ what she just said, ah remembered that Pinkie was kind of sort of an Apple. ‘Maybe it was somethin’ like that. But what could this mean?’

Shakin’ my head, ah spoke. “It aint. It’s just a cramp, nothin’ serious.”

Apple Bloom smiled. “Okay.”

But ah knew it was mighty serious and that ah shouldn’t just brush it off. Call it a hunch, but ah knew it was some sort of doozy. Thinkin’ that, ah shivered in fear. ‘If it really is a doozy, ah just hope my luck holds out.’ Ah still remember the last doozy. Ah’m still surprised that Hyrdas can walk that fast. Ah kind of pegged them as the ambush predators, ah think that’s what they’re called.

Gettin’ back on track, ah wiped the sweat from my brow. “Ah think we’re done fer now. How does some good ol’ fashioned lemonade sound?”

“Sounds mighty awesome, Applejack,” Apple Bloom licked her lips.

Ah chuckled. “Good ta hear.” ‘Whatever comes, me and my family will face it head on if we have to.’

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