• Published 4th May 2014
  • 6,518 Views, 599 Comments

Love Needs No Reason - Evowizard25

Discord is lonely and looking for something to spice up his life. Luckily for him, and unfortunately for Applejack, he's found the one thing that can help him out.

  • ...

Super Battle Robots! (Off-screen)

Ya know what? Over the years, ah’ve discovered that anger gives ya a strength boost. Yeah, it makes ya dumb, but there ain’t no better way to get yer muscles pumpin’. Like now fer example. If’n any critter can make me angrier than a rampaging bronco, it’d be Discord. Why, ah didn’t even know the depth of my anger till he showed up. Now he was messin’ with the weather and draggin’ somepony into a race with his confangled flyin’ contraptions. Ah wasn’t gonna let this one go. No sirree bob, he was gonna get it.

“Applejack,” Cadance ran beside me. “Wait.”

It still surprises me how athletic she is. Must’ve been specialized trainin’ or somethin’. Ah mean, she was bein’ groomed to take over an empire ran by a daemonic unicorn overlord. Ya’d have to be pretty strong to do that. “Why?”

“You’re rushing into something without thinking.”

“No, ah’m gonna see what Discord’s up to. If he’s bein’ stupid, which he always is, ah’ll just knock a little sense into him.”

“How much is a little?”

“How far is Tartarus?” Ah snidely commented.

Cadance just laughed in response. “I doubt it will be that bad. I thought the duck rain was amusing.”

It kind of was. They didn’t hurt nothin’, bein’ small and rubber. Still, ah had to show Discord that it ain’t right to be doin’ stuff like that.


‘Cause...Just cause. Ah don’t want any of that chaos magic on my farm.

‘It wasn’t on yer farm. Yer just tryin’ to find somethin’ to be mad at him fer.’

Ah wasn’t tryin’. Somepony could get hurt.

‘By Rubber ducks?’

Ah growled in anger. Ah couldn’t think of anythin’ to counter that.

“Applejack?” Cadance asked, drawin’ my attention to her. She was givin’ me a concerned gaze, just like the one’s ah give Apple Bloom now an’ again. “You need to calm down. Anger doesn’t suit you.”

“I’d have to disagree with you,” Discord piped up….

Ah did a double take. Discord was joggin’ backwards besides us, standin’ on his hindlegs. He was wearin’ a simple joggin’ outfit and headband. “Discord?”

“I personally think you’re beautiful when you’re angry,” Discord smirked, trailin’ a tail under my chin. He laughed when ah swatted the blasted thin’ away. “And there it is. So adorable.”

“Discord!” Ah shouted, somewhat hopin’ to shatter his eardrums. The three of us stopped the jog right then and there. “What the hay are ya doin’?”

“Oh just racing,” Discord shrugged. “Nothing new there, but it honestly is interesting now that I think about it. I mean, a fair race? Unheard of in my books.” He picked up a pebble, grabbin’ the book underneath. Flippin’ through the pages, he nodded. “Yep, unheard of.”

“What are ya talkin’ about?”

“Why my race with Dashie of course,” Discord threw the book behind him, which blew up unsurprisingly. What was surprisin’ was how the explosion seemed to stop midway, get out a hat and suitcase, and hold up a sign that said ‘I’m too old for this’ while walkin’ away.

‘If it wasn’t fer Discord here, ah’d have to check if my apples went bad on me.’

Gettin’ back to the matter at hoof, ah glared at him. Well, even harder than ah was before. “Discord.”

“You’re going to wear my name out with how much you say it,” Discord had the gall to boop my nose. “And what will happen when that comes to pass? What name can I go with? Loki? He’d sue and Chaos is too simple. I’d have to name myself ‘No One’!” He fell back on a fainting couch, wearin’ a fancy red dress. “Oh woe is me who has no name! Woe is me!”

“Can we get back on track here,” ah rolled my eyes. Seriously, his antics were hilariously cute...ah mean mind-numbingly stupid. What was he, five? “Ya know. The race.”

“Right,” Discord popped everythin’ away, standin’ up. “Which I’m currently winning.”

“But yer right here.”

“I can multitask. I’m honestly the best one you could ever find. I mean, who else can have an epic race/robot battle, chat with their waifu, and paint a picture of them all at once?”

“Robot battle?” Cadance asked.

“Paintin’?” Ah turned to see another Discord, wearin’ a fancy Prench outfit and a twirly mustache.

The Prench Discord twirled the paintin’ around to show….me lyin’ sexily to my side WEARIN’ DARK ORANGE LINGERIE!!

“Mwah,” Prench Discord kissed his brush. “Magnifique.”

Ah was blushin’ redder than a tomato and hotter than the sun. Not just ‘cause ah was embarrassed. Sure, it was embarrassin’ fer Cadance to see it, but that didn’t matter. Ah was angrier than a rattlesnake. “DISCORD!”

“Wait, my name wasn’t worn out after all?” Discords grinned. He fistpumped. “Yes, I’m Discord again!”

“AH’M GONNA BUCK YA TO TARTARUS!” Ah yelled in my fury. It’d honestly give Luna’s Royal Canterlot Voice a run fer its money.

“That’s a long ways from her, my dear Applejack.” Discord pointed out. “Why don’t we just do all that bucking in one place and save us the travel bills. Perhaps your room? Or maybe Twilights. I’m sure she has some books on-”

“GRAAAAAH!” Ah leaped at him. The varmint had nerve. Mighty big ones and ah wanted to snap ‘em all.

He teleported beside me and held me in place. “Now, now. We’ll save it for later. I don’t think Cadance is much of the voyeur type.”

“Actually,” Cadance relented, causin’ my anger to vanish and just the embarrassment behind. She shook her head. “Wait, I’m getting ahead of myself here. Did you say you were having a robot fight?”

“A giant mech fight actually,” Discord beamed with pride.

“A giant mech fight?” Cadance’s eyes widened and it was then that the sounds of metal smashin’ into metal could be heard. “You’re having a giant mech fight near Ponyville?”

“Candy,” Discord started. “You knew I was going to do something like this. I mean-”

“WITHOUT ME?!!!” Cadance shouted. She summoned a mirror. “Chrysalis!”

“What?” Chrysalis’s voice, the very Chrysalis that was a sworn enemy of Equestria, sounded out of the mirror...an’ she was wearin’ a black T-Shirt that said ‘Number 1 Dork’ in white letters. It looked like she was in the Crystal Empire.

‘The hay she doin’ there?’

“Giant mech. Must. Have. Need. Now.”

“Broken sentences? Oh dear,” Chrysalis sighed. “Well sorry to burst your bubble, but ours are still being repaired after our last fight.”

“BUCK!” Cadance stamped a hoof in anger, dentin’ the ground.

Honestly, ah’m not gonna question what’s goin’ on. The last few days have been so mind bogglingly strange that if ah actually stopped to think about it all, ah’d lose my head. With Discord around, it’d be literally.

“That’s what you get for wanting to fight with rocket powered fists in a bomb factory,” Chrysalis pointed out.

“Oh like you were objecting to it,” Cadance shot back. “Besides, how can you beat rocket powered fists? They’re like the answer to everything.”

“You’ve got a point,” Chrysalis grinned as she nodded. “That was fun. It hurt like Tartarus, but those explosions though. Might I ask why you-”

“Hi, big sis!” Discord lightly floated onto Cadance’s back, wavin’ at her.

“Oh,” Chrysalis’ face honestly matched my own………..

Wait, she’s Discord’s big sister?!!!!!!!.........................Whoa, blacked out there fer a moment. Darn it, ah told myself not to think about stuff like this.

“Discord,” Chrysalis asked. “What are you doing here?”

“I’m wooing my waifu,” Discord piped up.

“Who?” Discord answered her question with pickin’ me up. “Why?”

“Because an apple fell on my head,” Discord happily replied.

Chrysalis stared at Discord fer a moment, blinkin’ a few times. “Well, thank you for reminding me who got the brains of the duo.”

“You’re welcome,” Discord nodded.

Ah growled at Chrysalis.Discord was her kin. She had no right to insult him like that, espeically in front of me...Not that ah cared about him. This was just about manner is all. Eyup, just manners. “Now wait just a moment-”

“NO MORE WAITING!” Cadance shouted, poppin’ out some sort of sword with her magic. It was some kind of long bladed weapon with a heart hoof guard. “TO BATTLE! WAAAAAAAGH!” With amazing speed and the beatin’ of her wings, she took off towards the sounds of the battle.

Instantly, Discord popped out of existence. That just left me holdin’ a mirror with Chrysalis in it.

“So….” Ah started after a few seconds of awkward silence with one of my enemies. Until a few years ago, ah never knew ah’d have one at all, let alone an awkward moment like this. “How are ya?”

“I’m not stuck in a castle, so I’m good.” Chrysalis gave me an impressive ‘unamused’ face.

Ah chuckled nervously. “Well, ya were kinda askin’ fer it.”

“I kind of was,” Chrysalis smiled. “Besides, I got more time to hang out with these little cuties.” She held up a love cat and nuzzled it close to herself. “Who’s mommy’s little cat? Who’s mommy’s little cat? You are. Oh I could never hurt a little thing like you. So adorable.”

It was strange seein’ her so cuddly after all that we’ve been through. She always seemed the evil type, nothin’ much else. Well, she never did hurt anypony and apparently those love cats were bein’ looked after well enough.

“So, how goes it with my brother?” Chrysalis asked. “Am I going to be an aunt soon?”


“Awww,” Chrysalis pouted. “Hogwash. Oh well, I always have Screwball. I do so wonder about that girl sometimes. We haven’t talked in ages.”

‘So Chrysalis is Diamond Tiara’s great aunt….That explains so much yet leaves so many questions that ah really don’t want answered.’ “She’s fine, if’n yer were wonderin’. Even settled down and had a family.”

“Good on her. Being a mother is certainly the best thing that can happen to a mare. I should know. I have millions.”

“Millions?” No, don’t think about it. Don’t go there mind…Gah, why mind? Why?

Chrysalis laughed. “You're not the first. I can self fertilize my eggs and honestly, there are times where I’m just laying around pushing my little ones out all day. Tiring, but it helps keep the population up during hard years.”

“So there was never a mr. Changeling?”

“There was one, but he’s not a changeling. More of a Commander.”


“Commander Hurricane,” Chrysalis nodded happily, sighing with a dreamy sigh. “Now that was a male. Oh, I still remember how his strong arms held me on those cold nights. We even made the cutest little triplets together. Oh I do so hope you can meet. Their singing voices are to die for.”

Hurricane? Chrysalis? WILL THE MADNESS EVER END?!!!

“To answer your unspoken question,” Chrysalis said, before she was interrupted by the sounds of screaming metal. A giant, robotic, reptilian head smashed into the ground not far from them. It had a few deep gouges in it and one of its eyes ripped out. “The madness will never end. You’re stuck with it, I’m afraid.”


All I ever desire is war. War to no end. The glorious battles that wage eternally between fighters of every race, living or dead. I desire battle like no other for that is who I am. The blood must flow and it is not always my warriors that appease me so.

No, today I watched one of my two favored warriors in action. Sadly, not both of them since Farsight was on vacation. Why he would go on vacation when there is wars to be had is beyond me. Mortals are strange like that. Either way, I at least had something and a glorious something it was. The carnage I saw as I sat upon my skull throne was beauty incarnate. Never had I seen a being so fierce, so willing to reap carnage, and yet so lovely all at once. Had she not been married, I would have swooped down and proposed to her this very instance. The screaming of rent metal was music to my ears.

A tear fell down my cheek as I watched on. I would never tell anyone that happened, since I have an appearance to keep. That and the one thought that ran through my mind.

‘So hot.’


Honestly, I could have done better. It wasn’t my finest work, but it did the job. There are only so many ways you can slice through giant reptilian and ape like robots. Still, I had some fun and that’s all that matters. My mane was disheveled though and my fur matted. That would need a fine tuning when I go to the spa. Oh well, sacrifices must be made in order to cut loose. I huffed. “I really need to fight robots more often. I’m getting rusty.” I turned to see Discord and Rainbow Dash.

The two of them were wrapped around each other, shaking and giving me a fearful glance. “I overdid it, didn’t I?” I sheepishly smiled when they nodded. “Sorry, I tend to go a little overboard in fights.”

“A little?” Rainbow Dash spoke up. “You nearly chopped me into pieces. I’m just thankful Discord teleported me out in time.”

“You are definitely enthused about your endeavors,” Discord gulped.

“Of course,” I wasn’t one of Khornes’ favored warriors for nothing. Why else would he allow me into his place. Okay, I’m also besties with his niece, but honestly I’m Chrysalis’s only friend. I have to go with her when dealing with her grumpy uncle. “Still, I do apologize for interrupting your race.”

“Nah,” Rainbow smirked, pulling away from Discord. I huffed mentally. I liked seeing them all cozied up.

‘Applejack, Cadance. We’re shipping him with Applejack, not Rainbow.’

Can I ship Rainbow with Khorne?

‘Maybe later.’ I made note to file that ship away.

“Anyways,” Rainbow flew around Discord and landed. “I so won this race.”

“What?” Discord stood up and glared at her. “I won this race.”

“No, I won it cause my machine crossed it first.”

“You didn’t cross it, you were thrown by Candy.” Discord pointed out. “Besides, I was in front of you before Princess Heartbutt got here.”

“Thrown, ran, same thing.” Rainbow smirked.

I sighed as they continued to bicker. My plan for the day was foiled by Discord. I had to seriously rethink my plans right now and that could certainly throw a wrench in things. Oh well. I’ve performed miracles under worse circumstances and it gave me enough time in town to set up a few of the singles here. A win/win regardless.

Author's Note:

Note: In the official comics, Chrysalis killed off quite a few of the Love Cats. While I follow the comics just as much as the show, I decided to change that and make it where she instead kept them as a reliable food source/cuddle buddies.

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter and please leave a comment.

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