Love Needs No Reason

by Evowizard25

Granny wants to talk

Ah never wanted to beat someone up so much before now. It was wrong of me. He was hurt, for Celestia’s sake. Luna had roughed him up pretty good and he deserved some respite, but did he have to be so loud? All he did was moan and groan, complainin’ minute after minute. Ah was tempted, really tempted, to just smother him with his pillow.

Instead, ah opted to use said pillow to cover my ears. Ah grit my teeth in agitation. “Discord, will ya stop whinin’ for a moment? Yer worse than Rarity on one of her bad days.”

Discord gasped. “I am not that bad.”

“Yes, ya are,” ah poked his head.

The varmint was layin’ in my bed, of all places. Ah don’t know why Granny was so determined to put him there, but she knew best after all. Discord took an unnatural likin’ to the idea. ‘Course, one good buck to his withers stopped the comments. Now, he lay snuggly under my sheets with several fresh bandages coverin’ his body.

‘Ah wish he had one coverin’ his mouth.’ Give me another moment and ah was sure gonna make that a reality.

“Applejack,” Granny Smith scolded as she walked into the room. She was balancin’ a bowl of soup on her back. Almost felt jealous, cause Granny made the best apple soup in all of Equestria. “Stop touchin’ him. He’s got to get better so ah can kick his sorry hide out of here.”

“Why are you so mean?” Discord moaned. “I mean, seriously can’t you….” Discord stopped himself and coughed, clearly seein’ my glare. “Err…Thank you for the soup.”

“Don’t think for a second that sweet talk will win me over,” Granny said as she put the bowl next to Discord. “I’ve turned away my share of sweet talkers back in my day.”

“You? Sweet talkers?” Discord just laughed, to which ah punched his side. The varmint let out a pained squeal that ah shouldn’t have enjoyed, but ah did.

Might make me a bad pony, but golly, did he deserve it.

“Applejack,” Granny started up again, holding up a soup filled spoon in one of her old hooves. “Stop hittin’ him.”

Ah snorted and stepped back. Discord just chuckled.

“I would listen to your…” Discord’s sentence was cut off when Granny shoved the spoon into his mouth. The varmint quickly swallowed and Granny pulled out.

“And you,” Granny tapped his muzzle. “Shut yer trap. If’n ya want to get out of here in one piece, ya got to learn the first rule when it comes to Apple mares.”

“Oh,” Discord quirked an eyebrow, makin’ a whirlwind like sound. “Please do tell. I am dying of anticipation.” Discord’s turned one of his fingers into a pencil and writing in the air. ‘Interesting Apple Facts’; he wrote.

Granny Smith glared at him. “Never get an Apple angry.”

Discord rolled his eyes, willin’ the words and pencil away. “Duly noted, but I doubt you could do worse than dear Nightmare Moon.”

“Her name’s Princess Luna,” ah hollored, stormin’ over and puttin’ my head over his. Ah was angry, no, ah was livid. “Maybe if ya used that tiny brain of yers she wouldn’t have tried to kill ya.”

“Please,” Discord rolled his eyes. “I had everything under control.”

A could feel somethin’ break in my head. Possibly my anger meter, or somethin’. “Control? CONTROL?!!! She beat you nine ways out of Tartarus, ya stupid varmint.” Ah swatted my hat against his head. “Ya don’t have control,” ah kept hittin’ him. “Ya had to mess with Princess Luna. Ya had to drag Big Mac along. Ya had to get beat up!”

Discord grabbed my hat before it met his face again. “As much as I love saying hello to your hat with my face, I just have to ask you something. Why do you care?”
“
What?” Ah honestly was taken aback by the question.

“Why do you care if I get beaten up?” Discord looked at me seriously. “If I recall, you don’t want me in the romantic sense, right? You don’t want me here at all.”

“That’s not true,” ah said, before ah yanked my hat away and over my blushin’ face. “Ah want ya here….” Puttin’ my hat back on my head, ah glared. A small blush clung to my face, no matter how much ah wanted it gone. “Ah like ya, okay. Maybe not in the romantic sense yet, but ya aren’t that bad. When yer not bein’ a complete idiot. Yer my friend and ah don’t like seein’ my friends hurt.”

Discord was silent. He just studied me with a keen eye. It was strange seein’ him…well, not say anythin’. Ah waited, but nothin’ came from his mouth.

Ah snorted in agitation and started trottin’ out of the room. “Stay in bed and get better, ya idiot. Ah need to go into town to sell some apples. If’n ah find out ya’ve sneaked out or somethin’, ah’ll hogtie ya to the bed myself.”

Discord grinned lecherously. “Is that a promise?”

Ah nearly roared in anger.
___________________________________________________________________________
*Granny Smith*

The blasted varmint was chucklin’ at my granddaughter! Now ah’ve done that many times in my long life, but that was ‘cause we were kin. Ya can laugh it up with family, but this critter had no right. When he turned to look at me, ah shoved another spoonful of soup into his maw.

“What did ah say? Don’t mess with an Apple mare? What did ya do? Mess with my granddaughter.” Ah pulled the spoon out.

“I can’t help it,” Discord pouted. “She is so fun to mess with. That adorable shade of red is just too much.” Discord poofed up a fan and started wavin’ himself. “And that posterior….”

Ah smacked him across the nose with my spoon, causin’ the varmint to yelp in pain and surprise. “Ah’m right here, ya know. The least ya could do is have the manners to keep those thought to yerself.”

“Manners are just a set of guidelines,” Discord huffed. “One can get by without partaking in them. I assure you, many do so at least once in their lives. I see why I can’t do even more, given my own extended lifetime. Perish the thought of me following ‘rules’.” He gagged on the last word.

“If ya want to live on a farm,” ah started. “Ya best be learnin’ manners and rules. Else nothin’ ever would get done and we’d lose the farm.”

“Your granddaughter is a national hero,” Discord pointed out. “No sane pony would dare try and oust her and her family. Not to mention she’s friends with,” Discord cupped his hands together and his eyes became big and sparklin’. “Princess Twilight.” He sighed and leaned further back into the bed.

“Ya don’t like that Twilight gal, do ya?” Ah already knew the answer. While ah may not know her all that well, Twilight seemed like a good enough filly. Applejack always spoke highly of her and if Applejack liked somepony, they were good in my books.

“Oh don’t get me wrong. Twilight is a wonderful mare. Not to mention a great prank victim,” he chuckled to himself. Ah knew he was just thinkin’ about some of his prior pranks. “But she’s too uptight for her own good. She follows the rules. She never breaks even the slightest one of them. That is not healthy for a ruler.”

“And ya would know what it means to rule?” Ah quirked an eyebrow. “If ah recall, ya weren’t the best head honcho.”

Discord sighed. “In order to rule, one must break the rules. You must abuse your power and master it. Playing nice and safe gets no one anywhere. Oh yes, you have peace, but you also have stagnation. That’s what Equestria is. A land of stagnation. It just reeks of order and calm. You control the weather, the animals, and the plants. Nothing happens unless you want it to happen. It’s utterly revolting.”

“To ya maybe,” ah started. “But to us ponies, it’s a way of life. Why I remember….”

Discord pulled out two cords and stuffed them into his nose. The cords disappeared and emerged planted safely in his ears.

Ah huffed in anger. “No wonder Applejack gets so ornery with ya. Yer more annoyin’ than those Flim Flam brothers.”

“I have no idea who they are," Discord pulled the cords out of his ears and turned 'em into an blimp. The little thing sailed out the window. "But I’ll take that as a compliment.”

Ah snorted. He reminded me of AJ when she was a youngin’. So hard to handle and hard headed…That don’t sound too different then how she is now, ah reckon.

Instead of blabberin’ some more, ah just shoved another spoonful into his maw. The varmint didn’t like that.

“Now see here…”

Shove.

“I can feed….”

Shove.

“This is….”

Shove.

“LET ME….”

Sho….

Before ah could put it into his mouth, Discord snapped his fingers. The bowl and contents vanished in a flicker of light. “Ahhh, much better.”

“Much better my flank,” ah glared at him. “Ya poofed away yer soup.”

“That you were trying to drown me in,” Discord grumbled. He tapped his stomach. “There is only so much soup I can eat. I’m not a
bottomless pit you know…Well, at least now. Wasn’t that an interesting week.”

Ah didn’t pay his nonsense any mind. Ah just poked him harshly. “Don’t matter if’n ah was drownin’ ya, which ah wasn’t ya nasty critter. Ah made that soup myself and ya could have been more hospitable about it.”

“Hospitable and Discord don’t mix,” Discord conjured a flute out from the air and stuck it into his right ear. Fiddlin’ his fingers across it, music and actual music notes started to fill the air. It was a nice, sweet beat. “Chaos can’t be hospitable because that’s what one would expect from a guest. I am no ordinary guest.”

Now many ponies would be awed by this feller’s tricks. He reminded me of a certain magician ah stumbled across years ago, handsome thing he was. Arrogant too. Discord wasn’t any better, so he didn’t tick me off too much. Ah just sighed, readyin’ myself to get to the real issue.

“Do ya really like her?”

Discord stopped playin’ and looked at me. “Pardon?”

“Do ya like Applejack?”

“I think I’ve made that abundantly clear,” Discord took the flute out of his ear and looked up in thought. “Or have I? Gah, love is so new to me.” He put the flute back in and started up again.

“Discord,” ah glared up at him mighty fierce like. Ah even used the same tone ah gave my grandchildren when they were misbehavin’. “She’s my kin. Ah don’t want ya chasin’ her if’n ya don’t really care.”

Discord stopped playin’. The flute disappeared and he turned a fierce glare onto me. Ah was rightfully scared, but ah held my ground. Ah wasn’t gonna let some chaotic whippersnapper push me or my family around.

“What is it with you Apple Mares? I care. That much is obvious. I’ve said it time and time again. I even came out and said I wished for her hand in marriage. MARRIAGE!! That’s a lifetime commitment and I’m not usually the one to do anything long term. For me to even consider it goes against everything that I am. But I’m not listening to my nature. No, I really care about Applejack.”

“Well, ya came right out of the blue about it. Seems ya might be just playin’ a prank.”

Discord started pullin’ on his mane in frustration. “THIS ISN”T A PRANK!” The room shook with his anger. “I’m not pranking you…this time. If I was, I wouldn’t be harping on this for so long. Don’t you get that? I don’t like to drag things out. I want Applejack to love me and I her. Isn’t that obvious? Can’t I just try and love a pony without someone thinking I’m pranking her?”

Ah was taken aback by what he said. He was rightfully ornery about this and ah kind of felt bad for askin’, but Applejack was kin after all. Ah had to and somethin’ told me he was tellin’ the truth. Call it Apple family wisdom.

“Well….” Ah started. “Ah just don’t want to see her hurt, is all.”

Discord softened up and let go of his mane. “And I won’t. Not now, not ever.”

Ah could tell he was serious and dog garnit, he was winnin’ me over. Ah didn’t want to like him. Not just cause of what he did, but ‘cause ah didn’t want to lose Applejack. Ah knew that girl would always stay with the farm. It was in her blood and she loved it so much, but if Discord got her…She wouldn’t be my little filly anymore. No more innocent granddaughter.

There was the upside of great-grandkids. If there was one thing any Apple loved more than apples, it was more kin in the family.

“Then ya can date her.”

“What?” Discord looked at me like ah had grown another head.

“Ah said ya can date her,” ah poked him harshly. “But if’n ah find out ya broke her heart…”

“Yes, yes,” Discord rolled his eyes. “Don’t break her heart. I know this speech already.” Discord made a ‘x’ over his head. “And you have my word. Gods don’t go giving that away, so make the most of it.”

Ah nodded, satisfied for the moment. “Well, it’s nice to know my Applejack is in good hooves.” Discord held up his paws. “Ya know what ah meant, ya varmint. Now ah’m goin’ ta make ya some more soup so ya can get better. Ah don’t want your sorry hide moochin’ off our hospitality for too long.”

“My hide is many things, but sorry is not one of them. I think these bandages and bruises give me a sort of ‘roguish’ charm, don’t you think?”

Ah rolled my eyes. “Gods these days. What with their stuffed heads and nonsensical ideas. Back in my day, ya had to be wiser than an owl to be a god.”

Discord huffed. “Wiser than an owl? Please, those creatures are not wise. Crows are wise. They are nature’s opportunists. They think, they plan, they stick together. Why they get such bad reps is beyond me.”

“A varmint defendin’ other varmints,” ah snorted. “Doesn’t surprise me.” Ah trotted out of the room, determined to make more soup for the wounded critter.

‘Ah don’t know who to worry about here. Applejack, or Discord.’

Author's Note:

New chapter is up.

I hope you enjoyed it and please leave a comment.

Comments

[vlaarith]

[Evowizard25]

4942643 I'm going to assume you liked this chapter.

[Christs Disciple]

I loved this chapter. Especially that last line.

[Evowizard25]

4942878 Will do and thanks. Cadance deserves some attention, being best princess after all.

[Night Music]

Huzzah! Another chapter! What adventures of the emotional kind are we going to partake in today?

[Lag Incarnate]

Ah Granny Smith, now I remember why you're my favorite pony.

[Carapace]

Even Discord should know better than to cross Granny.

[Xion_Stellar]

I agree with Discord Crows are smarter than Owls

[howard035]

Great chapter. A little more sweet than humorous, but plenty of both. Discord could heal himself in a second, I'm sure, but he's smart enough to keep the injuries so Applejack has to worry about him and take care of him. It's nice to see them both being a bit serious. And as always, Discord making AJ blush never stops being hilarious. I hope Granny comes back with a funnel and starts force-feeding Discord more soup.

[golden-redhead]

Granny and Discord interactions Hilarious!

[Evowizard25]

4952973 That's more of natural magic that the plants seemed to have 'evolved'. Earth ponies have intrinsic magic within themselves too.

Gay-happiness
They do make ponies smile with how good they are. That's something to be proud of.

[Evowizard25]

4954898 Well, I had started this story before the finale, so I hadn't taken it into effect. I honestly don't know exactly how I'm going to play it, or just kind of scoot it over....I did enjoy the finale, but yeah...It would make things difficult.

A part of me wanted to wait till after the finale, but I didn't think it would hurt anything....Yeah. Maybe in a sequel or something I might touch upon it.

[Evowizard25]

4975574 Question, and I don't mean to sound rude, but what do you mean by 'one of those' fics?

[notapony]

I like this fic. I think it's funny and charming. The interactions between AJ and Discord are quite fun. I rather wish you would have spent a little more time with Big Mac, but I can't fault you for moving the plot forward.

One thing to watch out for is POV switches. Sometimes you randomly switch from 1st person to 3rd person. Case in point:

Ah knew that girl would always stay with the farm. It was in her blood and she loved it so much, but if Discord got her…She wouldn’t be her little filly anymore. No more innocent granddaughter.

That should be 'my little filly' for Granny Smith.

Every so often that happens that you switch. It doesn't make the fic bad by any means, but it is a little distracting.

[Evowizard25]

5013124 That's because this is my first 'first person' fic. I'm so used to 'third person' that it sometimes slips out. I probably would have caught it, but writing three other stories and such (also life and college) tend to distract. Sorry.

I would have liked to have stayed with Big Mac, would have involved a hilarious chase sequence, but people seemed to dislike the 'Canterlot' arc of the fic, so I scrapped it. Not a choice I'm happy about, but eh.

[DSleep]

The varmit quickly swallowed and Granny pulled out.

PHRASING OH MY GOD PHRASING!

i.imgur.com/BxHNj6y.gif