• Published 4th May 2014
  • 6,567 Views, 599 Comments

Love Needs No Reason - Evowizard25

Discord is lonely and looking for something to spice up his life. Luckily for him, and unfortunately for Applejack, he's found the one thing that can help him out.

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Wacky Racers~

Ya know, there are a bunch of things that most ponies don’t even take a moment to blink at. It happens and they don’t find it weird or nothin’. Well, it happened to me. It’s been happenin’ to me all mornin’.

Ah yawned.

Ah’m used to getting’ up early in the mornin’, only a few hours of sleep in between that and shuteye. Yeah, ah’ve yawned before. Ah’m not some changelin’ in disguise or anythin’ like that. It’s just….Ah’ve never been so tired. Okay, besides that one Apple Buckin’ Season. No, this was different. Ah wasn’t tired because ah was workin’ too hard. Ah was tired because ah was thinkin’ too hard.

That blasted spirit kept me up all night thinkin’ about him. ‘Now look at me. Ah’m scruffier than a beaver in a tornado. Why couldn’t he have done it some other time? On second thought, why couldn’t he have not done it at all?!!’

Music means a lot to us ponies. It makes us happy, sad, whatever else it needs to. It’s our lifeblood, like apples is for my family. Discord singin’ to me….It just made me want to give him a chance. Ah hated him for it. Stoopin’ to that level and gettin’ me to kiss him….Even if he felt nice. Ugh!

So here ah was, fumin’ at Discord, tired, and standin’ right outside my home. Ah yawned once more, rubbin’ my eyes. “Another day….” Ah sighed.

“And what a beautiful day it is,” ah heard Cadance’s voice chime.

Ah turned to find the Princess trottin’ up beside me. She wasn’t wearin’ any of her regalia, but she was still all gussied up like Rarity with her mane and all. Aint for me to judge. She’s my best friend and ah know Cadance is a nice pony. “Princess Cadance, what are ya doin’ here?”

“Please, it’s just Cadance,” she waved her hoof to dismiss the thought. “A friend of Twilight’s is a friend of mine. Besides, I never really liked the formality. Never have really. Maybe it’s because I wasn’t always royalty.”

“Wait, what?” Ah blinked in confusion. ‘What the hay is she talkin’ about?’

“I know what you’re thinking,” Cadance chuckled. “What the hay am I talking about?”

‘Ah’m not that easy to read.’

“It’s simple really,” Cadance puffed out her chest. “I was once a pegasus. A little Pegasus flying around her mom as we traveled the globe. I miss that freedom sometimes.” She frowned. “A princess has to make some sacrifices however. So I can’t go adventuring like I used to.”

…She’s lyin’ about the whole adventurin’ thing. Ah could see her ears twitch awkwardly at that. Ah wasn’t gonna bring that up though. That was her business. Twilight goes off all the time. “So what brings ya here?”

“I wanted to repay you for you pies the other day.”

Ah snorted. “That all? Shoot, ya don’t have to. That was just good ol’ Apple hospitality.”

Cadance shook her head. “No, I insist. It would be ill begotten of me to mooch off my auntie’s subjects. I am going to pay you back and there is nothing you can do about it.”

Ah sighed. There wasn’t any way ah could needle my way through this. “Fine, but ah aint doin’ much today. There isn’t that much left on the farm to do. Still, yer a princess. Farmwork isn’t your forte.”

“Splendid,” Cadance smiled. “If that’s true, then why don’t we head on into town. I’m sure there are some things there we both can appreciate.”

Ah chewed my lip as ah thought it over. Hanging out with a princess wasn’t somethin’ ah felt comfortable with, but she was pretty much Twilight’s sister. It’d be rude to say no. Besides, she’s a nice pony all around. It’d might do me some good to get to know her. “Alright,” ah nodded. “Ah don’t see the harm in a little stroll.”

“Very well then,” Cadance said. “Let us be off.”

Racing is in my blood. My father was a racer, so was my grandmother. It kept going back generation after generation. So, yeah, I’m bred to be the ultimate racer. So it was strange that I wanted to be a Wonderbolt. I mean, I’m an only kid. I was supposed to carry out the tradition. Don’t get me wrong, it’s an awesome tradition. There’s no feeling in the world like leaving ponies in the dust. I love it to pieces, but I wanted to be different. I wanted something else. I wanted to be a Wonderbolt because they were awesome. I was awesome. We fit….And I didn’t want to be just another racer in the family. If I was going to be remembered, I was going to be remembered as the first Wonderbolt in my family. Of course……The past year I’ve been rethinking it more and more. I took the tests, passed boot camp, hay, I even befriended some of the leading members. Yet, this race….Maybe it’d get me rethinking a lot of things.

What am I doing, being all sappy. I’m Rainbow Dash, fastest thing alive. I had a race to win.

“Got to say, Discord.” I piped up out the window. I had to yell because whatever this thing was, it was loud. It still felt awkward having to push some ‘lever’ on the ground with a hoof as I steered a wheel to turn this thing. It was amazing though, so I pushed through it. “These things are awesome.”

“That’s monkey ingenuity for you, Dashie.” Discord laughed, sending me a mischievous grin. “Lucky for me, I’m part monkey.”

“No you’re not.”

“How do you know?” Discord tilted his head. “Are you psychic?” He gasped, which caused his moving carriage to jump up into the air as it moved. “You are, aren’t you?”

“I’m not psychic,” I glared at him. Honestly, does he just make this stuff up, or is he that stupid?

“Then you won’t see this coming,” Discord pushed the middle of his wheel and his car shot a blotch of black gook out in front of me.

Instantly, I started to lose control. I panicked, which happens more than I’d like to admit. I tried to get it under control, but it kept spinning on me. My hoof hit the middle of the wheel and….I was instantly in front of Discord. ‘This thing can teleport?...Sweet.’ Glancing at a random lever that appeared, I smirked. It had flames painted all over it. It had to do something cool. Pulling it, a massive gush of flames came out the backside, flaring over Discord’s carriage. The next thing I know, I’m going three times as fast. I could literally feel my skin tighten as everything became a blur.


And then it stopped…..Unfortunately, that meant I slammed right into the windshield….Ugh, this was almost as painful as slamming into the ground doing a loop de loop. Pulling myself off it, I peered outside…to find myself stuck in a load of mud. “Great….” I moaned. I was stuck in Froggy Bottom Bogg. Just great….

Discord’s laughter didn’t help much. I looked up to see his carriage, which now had four, giant mechanical legs which ran through the sludge. “Awww, Dashies’ stuck. Tragic~”

I grit my teeth. “No one mocks Rainbow Dash.” Yeah, I tend to speak in third person when I get angry. Happens. Luckily for me, a random button appeared. Shrugging, I just pushed it. I didn’t have anything to lose. The next thing I knew I was piloting a hydra.

You heard me. A hydra! I have become the most epic being that has ever lived. Seriously, if you looked up the word epic, you’d find me in this thing. Oh I so had to thank Discord for this. Well, after I beat his scrawny flank in this race. The new Hydra-carriage quickly ran through the swamp. The Hydra I was in had two heads, which suited me fine. ‘Cause when I got to Discord, I pushed some lever and the head the second head shot out and bit one of the scrawny, metal legs of his machine. With a might jerk, I sent him flying behind me, a twinkle in the sky. Please with myself, I kept going….Until I bumped into the chest of a larger hydra.

‘Oh yeah….forgot about him.’ I gulped. I looked up in fear…Only to have the fear of being eaten replaced with something else.

‘I’m piloting a girl hydra, aren’t I?’ The way the guy hydra was looking at me, yeah I was. I really hated that random button. Why couldn’t these things be labeled, or in some order instead of appearing and disappearing? Wait, this was Discord. It wasn’t supposed to make sense. This race was going to be zany the whole way through.

So here I was, in a female Hydra, with a large male lusting after me….This is just one of those days.

I couldn’t help but feel awkward as the Hydra cooed and rubbed his heads against ‘mine’. I’m not exactly used to guys taking an interesting in me in the first place. Eh, they just weren’t on my level. Now to get it from an animal? Yeah, kind of creepy and a bit of a slap to the face. In one of the Hydra’s mouths, it had…a giant rose…and it was gesturing lewdly with all of its eyebrows. This is just getting disgusting. What’s next, is it….


I pushed on the wheel with everything I had. Swiftly, the hydra carriage I was driving smashed into the other Hydra with enough force to knock it off its feet. Without thinking, I just ran over it. He’d live. I, however, would be forgetting that ever happened. Maybe I could hit up Berry Punch soon. She always had the best booze. ‘I’m going to need a barrel’s worth.’

I quickly covered my ears when a loud boom smashed through the air. Sometimes I hate how sensitive pony ears can be. Like how I have to wear protective head gear and stuff to cover my ears during some stunts, or shooting ranges. Come on, those things look so goofy. Looking to my side, I saw Discord’s carriage flying?!! ‘The hay?’

It didn’t have any wheels underneath anymore. Instead it had just two sleets of rectangles for wings and some funnel at the end with blue fire coming out of it. Discord, the big jerk, smirked and gave me a two fingered salute. His carriage carried his sorry flank past me. I grit my teeth. “Two can play it that game.” Pushing another random button that appeared, my carriage turned into an exact copy of his. “Let’s see you outfly this.” I grinned as I blasted off after him. It didn’t take me long to catch up, but he was still ahead of me.

Thankfully, a new button appeared. It was a pink one with Pinkie’s cutie mark on it. I raised a questioning eyebrow, but just did it anyways. The random buttons hadn’t failed me yet. As I pushed it, two awesomely styled, party cannons shot out of the front of the carriage. ‘This is just like those geeky comics Spike reads….Not that I read them, I only glance at them.’ Yeah….glance. I’m not a nerd!

Next thing I know, I have a screen hovering above me that cuts to….


“Hi Rainbow Dash,” Pinkie waved at me from the monitor. “Whatcha doing?”

“Racing,” I snorted. “What else?”

“Awesome,” Pinkie hoof-pumped. “I bet you like those new party cannons, right?”

“They look cool….Wait, how do you know about them?”

“I designed them silly,” Pinkie’s smile grew brighter. She put up a proud front. “You can’t have a silly race without cannons on your car. Anyways, let’s get it started shall we? See the screen here?” Pinkie’s section of the screen zoomed to the corner where some locking type system popped up.

“Hey, it’s like those arcade games,” I smiled. I’m going to be truthful with myself. I am a killer at those things. My high scores are the stuff of legends. There’s no way anyone can beat them. Not even that propeller hatted colt.

“Yepper roonie!” Pinkie giggled. “The cannons have two ways of firing. For rapid fire shot, squeeze the bars on your controller wheel.”

Looking at my wheel, I noticed to bar inside the loops. Stretchting my hooves a bit, I squeezed them. Instantly, the guns opened fire, shooting pellets of confetti at Discord’s carriage. Discord was quick, I had to give him that. He dodged the shots quite well….for an old stallion. I was going to bring him down one way or another.

“Press B to lock on.”

“B?” What do you know? There are letters on the wheel. Pushing it, the screen locked on to Discord’s carriage.

“Good,” Pinkie said. “Now….”

“Pinkie, what are you doing?” Suddenly, a gray stallion walked into the screen. A foreign stallion, given how he sounded like those Germane villains in those movies. That kind of sounded a bit racist now that I think about it. Nothing against Germane. They’re cool.

“We’re playing a game,” Pinkie squealed, kissing his cheek.

“Wait, who is that guy?” Rainbow balked. Pinkie just kissed somepony. She never kissed somepony…Except her parents….and her other parents…and her friends….Okay, she ‘kissed’ ponies, but that was just friendship kisses on the cheek. That was a special somepony kiss. “And why the hay are you kissing him?”

“He’s my coltfriend~” Pinkie pulled him in close.

“Your coltfriend?” I nearly lost control of my wheel at that. I mean, come one. He was a stuffy noble guy. I remember him from the Grand Galloping Gala. There was no way I was hearing this right. “For how long?”

“Since yesterday,” Pinkie looked at him in bliss and he chuckled.

“And how long have you known him?”

“Yesterday,” Pinkie shrugged. “But kind of a few months if you count the time we rubbed butts together.”

Okay, I’m not the blushing type. I seriously am not, but that? My face was red as a tomato, just like the guys. “Pinkie! You don’t just do that kind of stuff to ponies you just met.”

“We just rubbed butts,” Pinkie snorted. “I mean, come on. I rubbed that one mare’s butt with my face and nopony batted an eye.”

………….”Pinkie, do you ever stop and think before you act?” I deadpanned.

“Sometimes,” Pinkie shrugged. “I like to mix it up a bit.”

“Pinkie,” the stallion said. “We’re going to be late for the play.”

“Right after I help Rainbow defeat this boss,” Pinkie pouted and turned back to me. “Sorry about Frederic. He’s kind of a serious pony.”

“Somepony has to be,” Frederic rolled his eyes.

Pinkie nuzzled him. “Yeppie, but now to Dashie. To use the missiles, just push the B button again.”

“This is going to be wicked,” I grinned deviously. With a savage press of my hooves, a yellow rocket snaked its way over to Discord.

And then everything was ducks.

Author's Note:

I hope you enjoyed this chapter and please leave a comment.

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