The Talk
Sometimes, I wish I was still a normal Pegasus and never became the goddess I am now. Don’t get me wrong, I love being me. There isn’t a day of my life that I’d trade away. It’s just…It’s hard being the goddess of love and a princess to boot. If it’s not filing taxes, it’s helping some couple sort out some stupid argument about going to the spa. It just makes me want to smack them upside the heads and yell at them to stop squandering their time together. Love isn’t something you can take for granted, I should know.
But I don’t. I’m a lady and we don’t have outbursts. Conceal, don’t feel. Just let it go. Those were among the first lessons taught to me during my princess training. And over the years, I’ve perfected it. I’ve mastered it. I MADE IT MY B****!...Oops. *giggles* I got carried away again. Silly me.
But enough about me, let’s get back on track here.
In all my years, I’ve accumulated several epic tales and events that I’ve proudly put under my wings. I’ve stopped wars, fought the greatest beasts in the land, and helped unite lovers across the globe. I’ve done just about everything one can do: Sky diving with my wings tied and without a parachute, taking a dip in shark infested waters, dueling Chrysalis in Dance Dance Revolution.
What can I say? I’m a thrill seeker.
But above all of them, there is one tale that stands out. One tale that gave me more headaches then I count. A tale that made me question my very own station as the goddess of love.
And it all started with an apple.
____________________________________________________________________________________
It was like any other day in my Crystal Empire...Oh I just love saying that: my empire. Maybe I can crown myself Empress one of these days…nah, too much hassle.
Anyhoo, within the walls of the Crystal Palace, I lay snuggling up to my cutie of a husband: Shining Armor. He is just so adorable when he’s asleep. Even though I had woken up a few minutes before, I couldn’t help but stay by his side. He’s like a plushy doll I can’t let go.
I didn’t have any plans for that morning, so I was going to make the best of this snuggly moment.
I sighed in bliss. Nothing would have broken that moment.
Suddenly, a loud knock rang from the door, which pervaded throughout the room. I jumped in fright, tumbling out of bed. Luckily for me, I didn’t land on my wing. Wings are especially sensitive and let me tell you, breaking them is no laughing matter. If you thought breaking your arm was bad, a broken wing is ten times worse.
Maybe that’s just my Pegasus blood talking.
After I got myself back up again, I calmly walked to the door with the sole intention of wringing the neck of whoever knocked. NOPONY INTERRUPTS CUDDLING TIME!
Shining was still asleep in bed. He was a heavy sleeper when off duty and not even a volcano can wake him up. ‘But I have other ways.’ I thought to myself with a sly smile.
Opening the door, I saw somepony I’d never thought I’d see in my Empire.
“Discord,” I said. “What are you doing here?”
Yes, before me stood the very god of chaos and disharmony himself. But there was something different about him. Something that I would soon learn that would change my life forever.
He looked nervous and…sad. Discord was twitching and shifting from leg to leg, looking down at me. He reminded me of a lost puppy and I had to do everything in my power to not cuddle him till he smiled. Inside his claw laid a single, red apple. “Can I please come inside?” He said in a small voice, similar to a child’s.
My eyes widened. ‘Is something wrong with him?’ “Of course you may.” I stepped back to allow him entry. Honestly, he could have come in even if I had said no. There was nothing I could do against his magic.
Besides, I didn’t have anything against him. Yes, I grew up listening to tales about how much of a monster he was and how my aunts had to seal him away for the betterment of Equestria, but after dealing with him personally, he grew on me. He was a welcome change-up to my dreary life and I honestly enjoyed taking care of him with Twilight. Even though I wanted to hit him over the head the entire time, since it was supposed to be Twilight and I’s special time. We haven’t been able to hang out since she was a little filly.
But the god of chaos just walked over to a chair and sat down into a chair. Unsurprisingly, the chair turned into his very own throne. Casting a glance over to my husband, Discord started to grin.
I glared at him. “Discord, this is between me and you.”
“Really?” He raised an eyebrow. “How would you know? Maybe little soldier boy over here can help me solve this little conundrum of mine.”
“And what is this conundrum of yours?” I used my magic to pull another chair over to face him.
Discord was silent for a moment. All he did for the next few seconds was rub his chin and look between me and Shining. Before I could ask what in the hay he was thinking about, he did exactly what I know him best for:
Being a complete arse.
Teleporting in a bright, white flash, he appeared over Shining Armor with a pair of large cymbals. Banging them together next to his ear, he shouted “Wakey, wakey, artichokey!”
Reeling from the loud, sudden noises, I held my head. “Discord, stop that!”
Discord just peered down at Shining’s still form. “Wow. You really did a number on him.” He shrugged and the cymbals disappeared. He looked over at me and grinned. “What is it that you did that tired him out so?”
I couldn’t help but feel my face heat up as I blushed. “I…I…He’s a heavy sleeper.”
Waggling a finger in amusing accusation, he chuckled. “Liar, liar, pants on fire.”
“Discord,” I cut him off. I know I shouldn’t get flustered about the subject, being the expert of love that I am, I can’t help myself. It’s supposed to be something private, kept between lovers. Breathing in and out, I did my usual calming technique. I didn’t want to explode on him, since he could probably throw my spells around. ‘I wonder if he can use magic without any hands.’ “Please, why are you here?”
Frowning, he teleported back into his chair. Plucking a hair from his head, he held it out from himself. The strand quickly turned into a mirror. To this day, I’m still amazed by the creative way he uses his magic. Honestly, I’m still a little jealous.
“You see, I was sitting inside my thinking tree. Trying to come up with a new way to prank clownfish,” A childish image of Discord in a tree formed in the mirror. It looked like a foal younger then the age of ten drew it. One without any real skill. “When I realized something.”
“What did you realize?”
“There is one thing I have never understood,” Discord squinted at the apple in his forepaw. The image showed Discord causing all sorts of mayham…At least I thought that’s what it showed. Again, it looked like a preschool drawing. “All my life I’ve been a loner, the outcast, that really cool guy who gives not a buck about anyone but himself.”
‘Cool isn’t a word that describes you.’
“And in all that time, I was alone.” Discord sighed. The image in the mirror showed a depressed Discord. “It took good lil Flutterbutter to help me understand that.” An image of Discord and Fluttershy frolicking through a meadow of flowers had me nearly rolling on the floor in stiches. “And now, I’ve come to understand something else is missing in my life.”
“And pray tell, what is missing from your life?”
Discord chuckled faintly. “If I didn’t know any better, I would say this is turning into a therapy session.” With a snap of his fingers, he was laying down on top of a feinting couch, while I had my hair up in a bun and a pair of glasses on my snout. A nice, formal dress fit around my body. I didn’t flinch or anything like that. After the incident in Ponyville, I grew wise to his ways.
“Faust knows you need one.” I smirked.
Discord’s laugh grew louder. “I knew there was a reason I liked you.”
Levitating a clipboard and pen, I couldn’t help but snicker. “Now, tell me all about your little problem?” I didn’t have to wait for the question that would throw my life through a loop.
“What is love?”
Peering over at him inquisitively, I couldn’t help but ask “Why do you ask?”
Discord twirled the apples across his fingers. “When I was thinking, I spied the Cakes. They were sitting about, having a sappy moment with their kids.” While Discord gagged, the mirror showed the Cakes smiling at each other in a park. “It was too sweet for my taste, but I couldn’t help but feel I was missing out on something grand. And then an apple hit me in the head.” The mirror, that was now hovering over him, showed Discord getting conked on the noggin. “This very apple. And I couldn’t but wonder why? I specifically wanted that tree to grow raisins, but no. Low and behold, it grew an apple without me knowing. Clever tree.”
“But what does this have to do with love?”
“Everything,” Discord waved his hands about, dramatically. “I puzzled and puzzled, until I blew out my puzzler. Darn things are so temperamental.” He grumbled, to which the mirror showed a broken machine similar to an engine. “Until I realized I knew nothing about love.” The god of chaos frowned and held the apple close to his face. “I know about as much about love as I do about apples. I find that odd. An immortal being who knows next to nothing about such things.”
“It’s not odd,” I pointed out. “You just never take the time to appreciate them. If you just learned to slow down…”
Discord snorted. “Sorry Candy, I can’t do that.” Next thing I know, he’s dressed in some sort of strange, white outfit similar to the wonderbolts with a matching helmet. “I live in the fast lane.”
I glared at him. “Don’t call me Candy.” You would not know it, but I really hated that nickname back then…Like, with a burning passion.
“Can’t do that, Candy,” Discord grinned at me, flashing away the strange clothes. “Now that I know it ticks you off, I’ll use it to the fullest. It's how I roll, my dear.”
“Well you can just roll on out of here,” I pointed to the door.
Discord gave me an unamused gaze. “You’re no fun.”
‘No fun?’ I thought with agitation. ‘Who was he to call me ‘no fun’? I’m the funnest princess around. Nothing can ever keep me down.’ Which is the truth and I had a half a mind to kick his sorry flank out for saying that. Probably would have spared me the massive migraines coming up.
“So,” Discord spoke up again. He pulled out a large, grandfather clock from behind the couch. “Are you going to tell me? I have an important meeting to crash.”
“Love isn’t something you can explain in a hurry,” I told him truthfully. “It’d take ages to explain the intricacies….”
“You’re sounding like Twilight,” Discord took on a worried expression. “Please don’t tell me she got her study habits from you.”
I smirked. “No, she was already a bookworm when I first met her.”
Discord wiped the sweat from his brow. “Phew, you had me…”
“But so am I.” Oh how I remember his fearful gaze. I keep it in a special place in my heart, using it for a quick laugh. “But let me simplify it for you.”
“You truly are a saint.”
Rolling my eyes, I continued. “Love cannot be explained, because it’s different for everypony: family, friends, lovers, the works. It’s a force of nature that is stronger than anything you can imagine. It bows to no one, yet comes to everyone. It changes, it shifts, it adapts to the times. No matter the heart, it can take root and sprout something truly magnificent.”
Discord stared at the apple. “So what are you saying?”
“Simply put, I’m saying this. Love has no reason, Love has no rhyme. Love will find you any old time.” I giggled. I just loved that proverb.
Discord raised an eyebrow, which quickly grew and hit the ceiling. “Love has no reason?” Cutting the excess eyebrow off with a pair of scissors, he stood up. “So what you are saying is that love is like chaos?”
I tilted my head in confusion. I had never thought of that before. “I would believe so in a way. Neither are constant and vary on many levels. They can corrupt the ill-prepared and sooth the greatest of beasts.”
Discord threw the apple into the air and let it land on the end of his snout. “Why didn’t you say so before? I would never miss out on something so…chaotic as love. I simply must experience it.”
I smiled brightly. I loved helping others find their soul-mate and it’d have been an honor to help Discord out with his…An honor I’d later want to bash over his head several times over.
“This apple is the key,” Discord exclaimed. He twirled the apple on a single finger. “The key to my dilemma.”
I stared at him in confusion. Had I known then what I knew now…I wouldn’t have done anything, but I would have done a better job keeping him in my sights. “Discord?”
"And it’s telling me just the mare to see,” his grin reminded me of the great schemer that he once was. "Thanks for the info dump, Candy." Vanishing in a flash, he left me alone.
Rolling my eyes, I believed that was the last I’d see of him. ‘Discord’s just being Discord.’ I thought he was going to try it for a bit and get bored. Oh how naive and foolish I was back then.
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An unknown ship appears!
I will watch this.
Oh my... It's going to be good
Applecord is one of the most underappreciated ships in this fandom. I almost squealed when I saw this story!
Also, I loved this fragment:
Typical Discord. And it's actually very good explanation of his motives. I wonder how Applejack's reaction will look like... And what exactly Discord is going to do, knowing him it will be something big and absolutely unexpected. You've got my attention, upvote and fav
Can't wait to read the next chapter!
Awkward phrasing: door and throughout
Person/pony shift: down at me
Let’s hope Discord hasn’t watched sleeping beauty! Also, Eris reference, maybe?
Baby don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me…
YOU DID THAT ON PURPOSE!
Heh, love the nickname.
an ‘unamused’, you probably don’t need the apostrophes either, but that’s up to you.
You’re the best arooound! Nothing's going to ever keep you down!
What is it with songs with me this morning?
Need a line break here.
*Snicker* Now where else have I read this?
First person worked fine except for the slip up I mentioned above.
Love Cadance’s characterization, and Discord was great, too. Looking forward to seeing how this pays out. I bet Disco is a bit harder to deal with than Trenderhoof.
FROZEN REFERENCE!!!
Should be snout, no?
4337623
4337955 Fixed
yes, yes this intrigues me...ANOTHER! *smashes chapter on the ground*
Your premise had my attention, now your story has gained my interest. This is one tale I intend to follow through to the end.
A question though, will this story be told entirely from Cadance's point of view or will you be switching to tell the story from other POVs? A romance story told from the perspectives of everyone involved except those of the couple themselves, in this case Applejack and Discord, seems like it has some interesting potential.
4339878 I'll be switching perspectives. Some of the scenes and points in the story couldn't work if there had to be an outside perspective on all of them.
Hey, this has potential!
You're doing pretty good with first person, and I've enjoyed this chapter. Your cover-art is also great! I'd just say...you've made it work so far, but you might want to be careful with your 'comments to the audience', like "Little did I know..." I personally find them annoying, and they rarely add much to the story.
Other than that, great work!
A very original concept, a novel idea, and extremely smexy are all ways to describe this. And I certainly would describe them like that.
Alright, you've got me. I'll be watching this, and you.
NO.
Edit: Gahhh I wanna downvote, but that is mean :/ Plus, if I do, I'm just hating the fact you quoted Frozen, and that's more personal LOL...
so...
-skips away-
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4345842 I don't know why I found this funny when I searched for gifs but you're like SG and I'm JB in this: lukewilliamsgossip.files.wordpress.com/2013/05/selena-gomez-was-e2809cuncomfortablee2809d-dating-justin-bieber.gif
Or the other way around, depending on how you see it :3
Heheh, upvoted. Let's see where this goes.
I'm writing this before I read your chapter, but I will read it later and write another comment at that point. I just wanted to say that I'm, generally, not a fan of Discord ships. His propensity for random behavior and impulsive whimsy isn't something that lends itself well to relationships that require a certain degree of stable behavior. *cough cough* romantic relationships *cough* THAT BEING SAID! You have caught my attention with the unexpected and, admittedly, hard to believe choice you made for who to ship him with. Even if I find that I don't really enjoy the story because of my views on Discord's character, I would like to applaud you for even attempting a ship that, to my knowledge, hasn't been tried before. This site, for all the wonderful stories that are here, tends to have a lot of stories that are just variants of the same story concept with a shift in the major cast members. *cough cough* League of Humans Acting Villainous *cough* It is always nice to see a story with premise that makes me say "huh" when I read it. Good on you, sir.
4345842
You sir, are a mad genius. Well done.
quickmeme.com/img/7f/7fa6b0be9d5614e6e8aa57089f47c718ec462a462188bb1b058a1456cfd02d12.jpg
All that can really be said.
Weird shipping? I am all over that shit!
Whoa this is a first.
I love AJ centered romances and this is pretty original. I'll definitely dig into this!
Pffft! I do that shit when i want to relax bitch!
Anyways not a bad start your discord could be a little better but I certainly enjoy how your cadance is lol
Upvoted, but ponies have muzzles, not snouts and I think it's a fainting couch, not a feinting couch, unless you're planning on having Discord fight a duel with it. Good 1st person BTW, can't wait to read more!
Honestly, I'm not a fan of your style of writing. It meanders to meaningless places and is very cluttered.
Your characterisation of Discord is actually pretty good, but Cadance just seems too OOC. She's a princess, a being of regality and dignity, yet you portray her almost as a child or teenage girl.
You ramble and use exposition too much. Comments and nods to the audience are all well and fine, but in this case it's just too much. I felt the need to skim the story just so I could pick out what was actually story and what was fluff.
Your grammar, spelling and formatting, to be blunt, hurt my eyes. Capslock abuse is not your friend- it's nobody's friend. Nor is the overuse of exclamation marks and ellipses. When reading I'm also put under the impression that it was typed very quickly with no formal editing or revision done before posting.
I like the premise, I do, but the execution, in my opinion, wasn't all that great. Sorry if I've offended you, but I'm leaving a downvote. At the very least I thought I'd tell you why.
World Health Organization has included love in the official Classification of Diseases. Love is classified as the mental illness, the title "disorder, unspecified habits and desire."
F63.9 - that's the number love has in the register. After alcoholics, gamers, pyromaniacs, drug addicts, kleptomaniacs...
Cadance is the Goddess of Madness!
4850072 God dammit you stole my line!
This is fantastic I love you!
Wow, I ship fluttercord (as my name implies XD) but I've never seen an applecord fic. Can't wait to see how this turns out!
AJ is my favorite Mane 6 character, and second overall to Octy. I've never been much of a crackship person.
That said, this seems interesting. A good, grounded way to set up an "out there" pairing, and great characterization of Cadence and Discord. Even if this ends up in Crack ship space, I think discord being involved will make It super interesting. Also I'm curious to see how applecord will go. Never seen it before. Youve hooked someone who usually wouldn't be into this kind of thing. Kudos. X3
Ooooo, I love Applecord!
As much as I hate it when fanfiction say "alicorn equals god"... Never mind.
(A few weeks later)
and the whole "buck" being used as a swear word... 'sigh'.
Other than that, I'm intrigued!... At least now I am.
Good stuff my man