I Have Depression And now it's Gone
I should probably have left for home a long time ago. My dear Shiny’s probably worried sick, neck deep in noble trouble. Not to mention all that paperwork. He might be a good leader, but he’s terrible at finance and the like. HOnestly, with how his old college buddies turned out, one would think he’d have picked up a little math. I mean, don’t those board games involve numbers or something? I have no idea. I never got around to playing those things. Not exactly my cup of tea.
Wait, I’m getting off track. Am I doing that on purpose? I’m usually so focused. Maybe? Ugh, why did this have to happen? It was going so well. I mean, there were a few hiccups. Very big ones, but they could be fixed. Discord and problems went hoof to hoof. There were bound to be problems everywhere we looked, but this?
I….I don’t know what to do. Nopony has ever been this hurt during one of my missions. Oh yeah, there was the occasionally buck to the face or silly nonsense like that. Some ponies are just more physical than others. I’ve had ponies break down in tears, but almost getting eaten by a chimera? On my watch? I felt low. I know I shouldn’t. I didn’t know about this until after it happened. It’s not my fault.
But why do I feel like it is?
I should be doing something. Hunting down that chimera, visiting Applejack, helping out Shining Armor. All of that and more. What was I doing? Lounging about Fluttershy’s cottage, because Discord was moping. Hay, I was moping. I was eating dark chocolate ice cream. Dark Chocolate ice cream! It was that serious. It was just…..so wrong to see him that depressed. It shouldn’t be possible. He was ‘the Discord’. The god of chaos and bringer of fun. He was all that and…….he was my friend.
I knew that much at least. I’ve only been around him for a little while, but I couldn’t imagine a life without Discord ‘mucking’ things up. Now I see why Celestia enjoys Discord so much. She might not say it to others, but she’s always been sweet on Discord, like I’ve been to Twilight. We both practically raised those two in our own ways.
Though I can’t see how she managed to babysit little Discord. Chrysalis was probably a lot easier for her to deal with. She was a lot easier for me to deal with and all of us were adults.
None of that was important right now. Now, Discord needed some help. I just hoped Fluttershy could fix it. She was able to turn him to the side of good. She’d be able to get him back into his happy go lucky normal self. I wanted to believe she could.
I don’t think my stomach can take a fourth tub of ice cream.
Fluttershy chose that moment to walk downstairs. She looked haggard. Of course she would be. One of her friends nearly died and the other is closing himself up in depression.
I walked over to her, putting the delightful ice cream down. I’d get to it later. “How’s he doing?” I used my magic to clean myself up. It was always nifty to have spells like that on hoof.
Fluttershy sighed. “He could be doing better, but he could be worse. He’s been watering a lamp for the last three hours.”
I furrowed my brow. “He’s…..watering a lamp?”
“He said he’s hoping it’ll grow into an idea,” Fluttershy frowned deeply. “I never thought I’d ever see him this sad. It’s heartbreaking.”
“It’s been that way for all of us,” I commented. I may not have known Applejack all that well, but she seemed like a good pony. Nay, a great pony. “She’s going to recover. The doctor’s say she’ll be up on her hooves soon enough.”
“But she hasn’t woken up yet,” Fluttershy said in response. Her eyes were tearing up. “She’s been asleep for days and….and…”
I quickly pulled her into a hug. “Shhh, shhh. It’s going to be alright. Everything’s going to be better.”
“I know,” Fluttershy muttered into my fur as a few tears fell down her cheeks. “It just hurts seeing everypony like this. Applejack’s always been so strong and to see her like that…..?”
I sighed and pulled back. “Thing happen, Fluttershy. We can’t control everything that goes on in life, no matter how much we want to. Someone’s going to get hurt, but we can always recover. Applejack is not dying. I trust these doctors to do their duty as I trust Applejack to be too stubborn to die. I bet she’d give Grim a good buck before she went out.”
Fluttershy weakly laughed. “That sounds like Applejack. She wouldn’t leave us without a fight.”
I nodded and glanced at the stairs. “Can I talk to him?”
Fluttershy was silent for a moment. Perhaps Discord was worse off than I thought. Finally, she nodded. “I don’t know how much you’ll get out of him.”
“I’ll do my best,” I said, before trotting upstairs. I didn’t know what I’d see when I walked into that room. Probably something out of a nightmare given his mood. There could even be blood thirsty daemons ready to tear me to ribbons!
‘Now, now Cadance. Don’t get your hopes up. You can go to Tartarus and slay as many daemons as you want later. This is about Discord.’
I sighed. I was right. This wasn’t the time for violence, though I made a mental note to one day hunt down that chimera. Oh, I was going to tear that beast a new one.
When I finally got to the door, all I could hear inside was the gentle fall of water. Pushing it open, I was greeted by…...a room.
Just a room like any other. I was so taken aback by how mundane it all was that I didn’t move a muscle for several minutes. It was just so normal. No chaos, no abnormalities. Just normalcy. This actually scared me more than any nonsense Discord could come up with. Speaking of the spirit of chaos, I turned to gaze at him. He was lying on his back on the bed, staring at the ceiling. His tail was holding a pail. The water trickled out of the pail and fell on a simple, yellow lamp all like one would water a rose.
“Hello Cadance,” Discord muttered. There was no mirth in his voice and he called me Cadance. No nickname. Just Cadance.
This was so wrong. “Discord, I just wanted to check up on you and see if you’re alright.”
“I’m not alright,” Discord huffed. “I’m Discord. I’m never right, I’m sideways and turned on my head. What is right to you is wrong to me. Yet….perhaps you’re right in this case.”
“Right about what?”
“You think I’m upset,” he answered. “You think I can’t stand Applejack being in this condition. You’re right, I suppose.” He scrunched up his face in thought. “I grow too attached to ponies too quickly. It’s a weakness of mine. Never had anyone to be close to other than my family and Celestia once upon a time. Though, in her case it’s only as much as one to a babysitter. That’s not exactly friendship. Besides, she had to be there for me. Fluttershy wasn’t. She wanted to be my friend and I was willing to give up my villainy in such a short time. Now, in only a week, I can’t stand to think of a life without my dearest Applejack. My father would laugh at me.”
“Then he is a fool,” I said with conviction.
“You’ve met him on occasion,” Discord replied. “You know that to be a lie. He’s smarter than me.”
“But you’re wiser than him,” I pointed out. “Your father cares only for change and what can be, what will be, and what must not. He cares for intelligence and nothing of the heart. You do. That’s why you gave up your villainy. That’s why Fluttershy’s your friend and that’s why Applejack is to be your lover.”
“But I sprang all this on her,” Discord growled. He turned to glare at me. “All just because I was lonely and an apple fell on my head. If I had just kept to myself, Applejack wouldn’t have been hurt. It’s my fault.”
“No it isn’t,” I marched right over to the bed and looked him in the eye. “You acted on your feelings. You never meant a smidge of harm to her and it was you who saved her.”
“But she’s fought that beast before and won,” Discord remarked. “I talked with Apple Bloom. She said so herself during one of our crusades. Applejack would have won against that beast had it not been for my love attempts. See what happens when I try my hand at a game I can’t master?”
“You can master it,” I snorted. “You just need more time. Applejack is going to be okay and she cares for you. I feel it in her heart. It may not be love, but I see the seed of it has taken root in her heart. She wants you to care for her.”
“But I’m a danger,” Discord rebucked. “I tortured her. I turned her world upside down for a laugh! I’m no better than my father. Nay, I’m worse because I don’t accept it. I fought it and everything’s crumbling around me.”
“You are better than him,” I glared at him. “You are not a danger to anyone. You are Discord. You are the friend of Fluttershy and I. You are Rarity’s drama buddy. Celestia adores your antics. Applejack cares for you as only a significant other can. Don’t throw this away because of something out of your control and don’t compare yourself to him.”
Yes, I’ve dealt with Discord’s father, the chaos god of change and magic, a few times. He’s a pleasant fellow some of the time and the worst of foe the next. Sometimes I don’t know whether he can help himself, but the devastation that he causes? Khorne may be a barbarous god, but at least he’s honest about it. His brother has no sense of kindness.
Discord sighed. “I want her to be happy, Candy. I want her to smile. I want her to laugh. Oh her laugh. What music it is. Why could I not see it before?” He put a claw to his face. “Oh right, I’m sporadic. Nothing about me makes sense.”
“But your heart does,” I put a hoof over his chest. “It’s something to listen to. Maybe this is destiny, or maybe it’s blind luck that brought you to seeing Applejack in a new way. Either way, don’t beat yourself over this. I know you can make this work.”
Discord stared at me for a moment, searching my face for a hint of something. “You really think this can work? Me and her? Applejack, the bearer of the Element of Honesty and an Earth pony, paired with Discord, the god of chaos and the only one of his kind?”
I shrugged. “I’ve shipped stranger ships.”
Discord blinked a few times, before chuckling. “I bet.” It was right then that the lamp grew into a bush/lamp hybrid and lit up. Discord practically jumped out of bed as he started bouncing on his feet. “She’s awake! She’s awake! She’s awake!”
I beamed. “Then go greet her, you silly god.”
“I will, you lovable goddess.” He snapped his fingers and then he was gone.
Perhaps today wouldn’t be so bad after all.
_________________________________________________________________________
Ah didn’t feel anythin’. Not a thing. That’s not good. That’s never good in a situation like this. Ah should be feelin’ somethin’, but nothin’ came. Ah heard the faint sound of somethin’ beepin’, but that was it. Maybe ah was just wakin’ up? To what though………….
Please no, please Celestia don’t say that ah…….
This pillow is rather comfy. Wait, ah felt the pillow. The blankets! Oh, ah’d never thought ah’d enjoy feelin’ a pillow and blankets before. Somethin’ was on my arm too. Ah slowly opened my eyes. They felt like they hadn’t been opened in a while. Ah glanced to see a needle and syringe hooked up to some bag. Ah was in the hospital.
Ah wasn’t dead! YAHOO! Take that Death. Can’t keep an Apple down fer long. This’ll sure be a tale fer Apple Bloom to love. Ah beat Death!
Though ah do feel like trash, all things consider. Body must still be wakin’ up. Groanin’, ah pushed myself up to sit on the bed. Ah was alone. Nopony else here. Just little ol’ me. Peace and quiet. Felt good. Felt really good.
“Why, it’s the Apple who could.” A familiar voice chuckled. “Back from a little vacation, aren’t we? I hope Grim didn’t charge you that much. He can be quite stingy with his prices. I once had to pay three gold coins, the rotten spirit.”
“D-Discord,” my voice was a little rough from disuse.
Suddenly, Discord’s body dropped like a pendulum. He was lookin’ at me upside down, what with him standin’ on the ceilin’. He grinned. “I wouldn’t be known as anything else. Of course, ‘varmint’ is something I’ve rather grown fond of hearing.”
Ah didn’t say anythin’. Ah just hugged his head close to me. Never did ah think ah’d be so glad as to see Discord.
“As much as I enjoy being smushed up against your chest,” Discord remarked. “I’d like my head back.”
“Huh?” Ah felt somethin’ tap my shoulder and ah looked to see Discord’s body standin’ beside the bed, headless. Ah was honestly gettin’ used to this so ah didn’t scream or nothin’. “Gotcha.” With that, ah handed him his own head.
Discord screwed it back on, makin’ sure to bolt his head in place with hammer and nails. Makin’ them all disappear, he smiled. “Well now, that’s over and done with. How are you feling, my dearest Applejack?”
“Sore,” ah grinned. “But alive.”
“And that’s something to celebrate,” Discord snapped his fingers and the room was decorated in somethin’ ah’d see in one of Pinkie’s parties. Discord himself was dressed as a mariachi player with a bunch of changelin’s in the same get up behind him. “Shall we?”
Ah snorted. “Maybe later.”
He sighed. “Spoilsport.” He snapped his fingers and all was back to normal. “So then, how shall we go about celebrating your little one upmanship of Death, hmm? I would think that would be a big deal. Of course, it probably isn’t. You’re a tough mare, my dearest Applejack. A tough mare who knows what she wants.”
“Eyup,” ah nodded. “Tough as they come. Hay, ah bet ah’ll be buckin’ twice as many apples once ah get out of here. What doesn’t kill an Apple, makes us stronger.”
“Oh I hope so,” Discord grinned, leanin’ in closer. Close enough that ah felt his breath on me. Ah blushed. “I can’t wait to try and ‘wrestle’ with you later on. We’ll see who’s on top.”
Ah didn’t say anytin’ fer a few seconds. Then ah smirked. Ah wasn’t gonna hide no more. He saved me. He cared fer me and by Celestia, ah was gonna beat him at his own game. Ah nuzzled underneath his chin, causin’ him to freeze up. Not literally, mind ya. “Oh we’ll see who’s up top. Us Apples are known to be expert wrestlers.”
He floofed up. He actually flooffed up and turned red. That was just adorable.
“Discord?”
“....yes.” He squeaked out.
Ah giggled. “Ah think ah know who ah’d like to go to the dance with.”
Discord teleported a few feet away. “Before you say anything, are you doing this because I saved you?”
Ah rolled my eyes. “This ain’t just cause ya saved my hide. Ya’ve been courtin’ me all week and...ah kind of liked it.” Ah blushed redder than the ripest apple. “So do ya want to go with me to the Hearts and Hooves Day Dance or what?”
Discord sat down on the bed and did something that flustered me up mighty fierce. He kissed my nose. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?!!!” Ah glared at him. Ah wanted the varmint to burn under my hate! “Ah worked up the courage to ask after everythin’ ya put me through fer nothin’? Ah oughta buck ya to the moon fer that!”
Discord fell on the floor, rollin’ in laughter. He was laughin’ so hard, his…...sides just flew off? His sides just flew off!!! Darn it, Discord. Stop bein’ crazy fer a minute! “Don’t laugh at me!”
Discord was leanin’ on me the next second. “But you’re so adorable when you’re angry.” He pinched my cheek. “And of course I’ll go with you, you little applebutt. This is going to be a dream come true for you.”
“Or ya,” ah gave him a lidded stare, battin’ my eyes at him like Rarity. Ah don’t know why ah was so flirty…….oh darn, it’s probably that hospital stuff makin’ me loco. Still, him floofin’ up and blushin’ like that was so cute that ah wish ah could just keep him like that.
“Yes,” Discord coughed into his hand. “Well, the doctor said that you should be able to get out of bed sometime today. Unless you don’t want to.” He laid down next to me. “I can think up a few things to pass the time.”
Ah just punched him off the bed. “I-idiot!” Discord grumbled and ah inwardly chuckled. Ah liked where this was headin’.......Not the bed part. Oh no, he ain’t gonna get me to do that with him any time soon. Varmint doesn’t deserve it…….yet.
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Now THIS was the serious chapter, I was almost worried we'd go full drama! nonetheless I loved it, and applejack reciprocating some lovin'? YES
Wow, this came out sooner than I expected...
APPLECORD!
I laughed a great deal dearing this chapter.. lol Good stuf....
The stuff with Discord at the beginning was perfect! And I loved everything that went with the Lamp....
I kind of hope we get a chimera-payback chapter. Or at the very least someone goes into the Everfree Forest and finds Lionel el'Jonson living there as a kid. Damn all these 40k references!
That was funny with that hospital scene. That was my favorite part. And AJ is showing love towards
the varmitDiscord! Course, we all knew this would happen eventually, with her slowly falling for him and the fact this has a "Romance" tag.I wonder if AJ is going with Discord only because no other stallion has bothered to approach her...
should "with" be "without"?
Well, well, can't say I saw this particular turn of events. Where will it go from here?
Tzeentch is their dad? I accept this one hundred percent. But who is the mom? It isn't Slaanesh is it?
5994206 Eris, the Greek Goddess of chaos. {Of course, she's an alicorn. I mention her in an earlier chapter.}
5994224 Riiight, forgot about that for a while. Thanks for the reply and keep up the awesome work.
That was great. The first part felt spot on without going too dark or long, and the second in the hospital was just too sweet.
Good to see AJ finally putting Discord off balance for once.
I just want to reiterate from last chapter:
This is just dead wrong. Applejack would routinely fight Sweetkill, and every time AJ won, she let Sweetkill go, and Sweetkill learned more of her moves. As a predator trying to kill, Sweetkill only has to win once, it's just the law of averages catching up to Applejack. If Discord hadn't been courting her, Applejack may have gotten beaten this week, or if not, the next time, or the time after that, when Sweetkill kept thinking up increasingly inventive tricks. Because Discord was courting her, he was summoned by the necklace, and hopefully put the fear of him in Sweetkill for good. He saved Applejack from what was almost an inevitable fate, and I hope sooner or later Applejack explains this to him.
5999407 Discord was just beating himself up at that point with his depression. Often times you blame yourself for something you know is probably not your fault. Applejack probably will buck that thought out of him. Maybe literally.
And Sweetkill was more permanently cursed. Unless Discord undoes it, she won't have a coat and forever have that snowstorm over her head. So either she repents or an outside force undoes it. Either way, if neither happens, she has to stay in the fire storm to keep warm from now on.
5999460 Ouch, she's probably going to starve then. Has Discord set it up so if she starts swearing out loud she will never harm ponies again, the curse is lifted? Otherwise I would not bet on her chances.
5999480 He'll get around to it........Eventually. Or something else could happen.
5999460 you sir have a talent for vey confusing family trees and adorable randomness Please keep it up
Floofy discord huh? I need to see someone draw that.
6334720 Does this count?
http://pre13.deviantart.net/9d94/th/pre/f/2017/065/0/c/0ca62e667c6332a2002df7579ff360cb-db1dqf9.jpg