iPony

by PonyIcarlyCraze

4. The Adventure

The 8 friends, plus Spike, said good-bye to Spencer and went on there journey. It wasn't long when they had entered a forest. Fluttershy fainted, so Rainbow Dash and Sam had to take turns carrying her on there backs. Twilight led the way, because of her great sense of direction. They went to sleep ten hours after dark.

They awoke to the sound of Sam's yells in there faces. After the friends had some breakfast, they went on journeying again. After five minutes, they saw something glowing.

The portal!

Carly called. They got closer and closer to the light, and saw that it was only the flickering headlights of a wrecked car.

Hours and hours went on, until they bumped into a light that looked like the animated world of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic.

This is it. Good-bye Carly and Sam, and thank you for all you have done.

Twilight said to her newfound friends. Only 7 went into the portal, slowly turning into ponies. Everypony in Ponyville were grouping around Twilight and her friends. The 7 would miss Carly and Sam, but they where home now.

Author's Note:

So, done with my first fanfic. Yay?

Comments

[The Mane Event]

Wow.

Such length.

Much intensity.

[topamhat]

KILL IT WITH FIRE!!!!!

[Manes]

Nay

[Quillamore]

Out of curiosity, why did Chrysalis shove them in the portal in the first place? Considering there was a portal in this world as well and that they would just come back and face her again, it kind of seems like a moot point. And why Sweetie Belle?

[Luz]

iCarly world

imgderp.com/wp-content/uploads/sites/41/2013/09/I-am-so-done.jpg
whydoesthisexist.jpg

[MissytheAngle]

So, done with my first fanfic. Yay?

Nay.

It was awkwardly written, no one writes dialogue like this, and there is no reason for them to be there; after all, we never see Chrysalis again. She might as well have said, "I should do this because the plot said so!" If written by someone who knew what they were doing, this would be much, much longer, with longer scenes to actually make a story and less painfully rushed pacing to keep people interested.

Even then, no one would read this. Unless you're maybe twelve, hardly anyone watches iCarly. Not saying you can't write about it, just... good luck.

[Quillamore]

Also, using the "quote" function on the forum box doesn't work in fanfiction. You use quotation marks just like you would in a regular story. Or you use French quotation marks (« ...») if you really feel like being pretentious.

[Sunchips]

4421340 lol you made these videos just so you could post them here lol

[AK47Productions]

What an abomination.

[Rainbow gay---------porn]

I like icarly sooooo more i damand it.

[Rainbow gay---------porn]

This can and should be a one shot. Thar are sum words that have bad grammar but i gees i shedent be talking. Need a sequel ware carly sam and spenser go in the portal. It semes a bit rushed need more descriptive words.

[a black and red alicorn]

4438290 Be careful the author might not understand your sarcasm and make another one!

[Rainbow gay---------porn]

4440807 it wusent sarcasum

[spiritoffire3]

http://gaspull.geeksaresexytech.netdna-cdn.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/nope.gif

[Faustin]

iCarly is a terrible show. The story is also too short and terribly written.

[Waterpear]

No, author, the quote tag is not to be used for dialogue.

[Brimstonne]

[thechicken95]

Official RFC Review

Rating: 1%

Reason: Do I really need a reason for this one? It's very clear that you wrote this in five minutes, without much thought put into it. Grammar needs work too. And don't use the quote boxs for dialogue, it just makes it unreadable. A simple quotation mark would do. Also, you need to understand the concept of pacing if you write again, cause there's none here. The story just takes a dramatic leap from one scene to the next without getting even one scene established. Peace

-bestrfcplayer

[staryoshi06]

I thought this was gonna have Apple™ in it.

[Crescent-087]

4605798 I don't want to, I don't want TO!

I just....why does a fic such as this exist exactly? I'm scared to read it....

[Crescent-087]

5289998 But....But I must, it is in my nature...I must force myself to endure the torture...for I am an addict

I would say this is the last time but...I know it won't be.

[Crescent-087]

5290026 I uhh...urm...I just finished...

Can I borrow that neuralaser?....Is it a neuraliser? Whatever...I wat to erase my mind...I am scared and a little...dead inside.

[Crescent-087]

5290041 *flash*

How did I end up here?...What's this fic? Is it worth reading?

[Crescent-087]

5290057 Oh...Are you sure? The premise seems promising, I mean, ICarly? Sweet.

[Crescent-087]

5290078 Oh okay, if you're so sure.

[Shadowking58]

Am I the only one here who likes this idea even if it was executed poorly?

[Twilight is the BEST]

4417395 Can I ask you something in a PM?

[topamhat]

6131774 sure