Part One
* * *
Indiscretions, Part One
by Jeffrey C. Wells
www.scrivnarium.net
* * *
It was cold.
This was nothing new. I live in a mountain fastness, thousands of feet above the unquestionably deadly forest floor below. And when I say "fastness", I mean "hole". And when I say "hole", I mean "cold hole". And when I say "cold hole", I mean "desolate grey rockweed-choked semi-habitable glorified rabbit-warren with attached parade-ground whose night-time ambient lows will positively freeze your teats to blackened nubs".
I misspoke.
But, I am being rude. Welcome, welcome to the National Redoubt, the last habitable zone in all Equestria, clinging precariously at and carved rudely into the top of the Celestia Pinnacle. My name is Cadence, titled First Scholar of Unicornia after the last First Scholar of Unicornia plummeted to his death several months ago in our desperate attempt to achieve this place ahead of the burgeoning Forest; for your reference, he had held his position for a bit over a week, commencing when the last First Scholar before him was throttled to death by assassin vines in her own study during the fall of Everfree. You are, hypothetically, standing in a place where no earthbound pony was ever meant to be, a pegasus war-camp founded by Commander Hurricane herself in the early days of Equestria. Stout-hearted and stout-winged centurions-to-be once came here to test their mettle against the elements and train in some of the worst conditions our then-pastoral country had to offer. It also was, and still is, the bastion of the Solar Throne, a thing that we must keep safe; with the ruination of the Elements of Harmony, it is the last remaining artifact supporting the tattered shreds of the Equestrian borders, now encircling no greater territory than this one bleak mountain. The Redoubt is the most defensible point in all Equestria because – in the words of my friend Auric – you would have to be a common barking idiot to even think of trying to come up here in the first place, much less attack it. It is a place of last resort. It was never meant to be a home.
Nevertheless, there are five thousand of us ponies – the last remnant of an entire species – who are trying to call it that.
Why did you even, hypothetically, come here, again? You'd be better off in your reading-lounge, or wherever it is you're taking in these words. Though I do not like to presume, I would wager you have warmth and food in comparatively abundant supply where you are. All we have to offer you is rockweed. Boiled, it is tuberous, starchy and bland. Pan-seared, it is tuberous, starchy, bland, and somewhat carbonized. It is, quite literally, all that we eat. I detest the stuff, have always detested it, and yet am forced to consume it in even more vast quantities than usual, as I am eating enough of it for two.
I was staring at the moon to-night, as I do every night, out on my little balcony overlooking the endless cloud sea. As First Scholar, I was afforded a relatively choice apartment in these ancient barracks, and my little suite of rooms was probably the lodging of a quite high-ranking pegasus official, back in the day. Even so, it's not luxurious – nothing in the National Redoubt can be considered that, not even the Princess's day-rooms – but the tiny private flight-deck is a godsend inasmuch as standing on my balcony looking at the moon is all that I seem to do, anymore. I once was a stargazer, an astrologer, and I have even retained a tool of my old trade; at great personal risk to myself, I salvaged a single telescope from my observatory in Everfree before the timber wolves took the place. I might have traded any number of books from Clover the Clever's now-lost archives for its weight, but I was determined to save at least one astronomical instrument from the doomed city. For all I know, it is the last extant telescope in all Equestria. I nearly perished on two separate occasions during the ascent of the Pinnacle trying to keep it safe, its mirrors and lenses un-cracked, and through a series of miracles, I managed to bring it whole and sound to the Redoubt, whereupon I installed it on my balcony and proceeded to never again touch it, save for a little oiling now and again. I have lost interest in stars, their names and colors. I only look at the moon. And I will look at it, every night, until the day that I die.
For whatever reason you decided to join me, you came to-night (as opposed to any other night) because it is an anniversary, or at least, because a certain individual will presume that it is an anniversary, even when it is not. At the time you see me, I had been standing on my windy little balcony for hours, moongazing. My back was clenched, my ribs ached, and I badly needed to make water, as it seemed I could not go even a few minutes between-times anymore. But I would be damned if I let being great with foal change my habits; my habits are all that I have left.
The door squeaked. The scene begins in earnest.
"How may I assist my Princess Everfree?" I said, not turning around. I'd been waiting for her to come through that door all evening, and had left it ajar for that very reason. I knew full well who it was. She is nothing if not predictable.
She did not speak, at first. Her boots clicked against the naked stone floor of my quarters as she approached the balcony and then joined me on it. Her "hair", visible in the corner of my eye moments before the mare herself was, was a corona of teal and rose and cobalt and cerulean blue, and it flowed in the ethereal currents of the Stream, which, as always, have no relation to any earthly wind. It had been months since I'd seen the elder Princess's true mane, which would always reappear at night when she passed charge of the skies to her sister – under the circumstances, I did not expect to see it again, ever. Pity, as it was always Sola's most attractive feature. Then again, I've always been partial to pink, which is fortunate, considering that pink is all that I am.
"How long will I wear that title, I wonder?" mused the Princess, joining me at the black iron railing of the flight-deck. "Now that Everfree is gone, how long will I remain 'Sola, Princess Everfree'? Rather than merely 'Sola'? Or perhaps 'You there'?"
"As long as Everfree exists as a concept in ponies' minds, Highness, you will be princess of it," I said, diplomatically.
"And how long will that be?" she said. "Do you suppose?"
I shrugged, resting my hooves against the rail. "Anypony's guess. I am an empiricist, Highness. Speculation is not in my nature."
"Mm," she said, breathing in the night air as though she were trying to track some half-remembered scent. The Princess smells things, with an intensity that borders on obsession. It is a strange habit, a holdover from her primitive roots, perhaps. Her long-ago childhood, I understand, was spent amongst the savage dawn ponies of her father's country several universes away, and there is always a suggestion of animalistic wariness about her actions. Her sister Luna was always more prim, and reserved, and cultured, and above all, careful. Luna had always been so much more desperate to fit in…
"Two years ago this day," said Sola, "I distinctly recall taking a rather marvelous bath. I had just acquired some wonderfully aromatic lavender salts, and so I fixed myself a cup of chamomile, ran the water good and hot, and just let myself melt. Then I put on white terry, climbed to Everfree's observation tower, and commanded the sun to set over the grasslands beyond the city wall, flooding the land with gold. It was sublime, Cadence."
"Two years ago on this day I expect I had my muzzle stuck in a book," I said. "Odds favor it."
"It has been a long two years."
"Yes," I said. "It has."
"I have a gift for you," said the Princess, producing a coal-black ball with a glimmer of golden-pale telekinetic energy. "We found a firesphere nestled inside one of the chests we saved from the treasury. I believe it once belonged to one of my accountants. He likely used it to keep warm when delving into the vaults."
"There's a large free-standing crucible near my alchemical table," I replied, diffidently. "You may deposit it there on your way out. I may use it."
"You ought to use it," urged the Princess. "It's absolutely frigid in your room, and that's no state for a young mother-to-be to be in. Your foal is twenty days overdue already. It's not natural for a pony to be gravid for more than a year. You need your health."
"I enjoy the cold," I said, lying.
"It isn't a question of what you do or don't enjoy," said the Princess. "This is your unborn foal we're speaking of. I'm certain you realize that this will be the first unicorn our people have produced since we lost Everfree?"
I see. "Produced". Thank you, Sola.
The Princess continued, heedless, blessedly unable to read my thoughts – Mother Sky help us all should she find that power some day. "This is a question of duty, Cadence. Your tribe is counting on you to bring a healthy colt or filly into the world."
"Filly," I said, automatically.
"You are certain?"
"A mother knows."
"I see," Sola said. "Have you picked a name?"
"Cadence," I said. "The name of my dam, and her dam before her. A tradition of my family's."
"A good tradition," said Sola. "Naturally, there will be a celebration when the happy day arrives. Our people must know that all three tribes will pass this crisis, not just the comparatively fecund ones."
"How nice," I replied, gazing out over the cold blue cloud-layer. "Not even born, and already hoof-chosen as a beacon of hope for the future. I had hoped that perhaps you would wait until she was out of my belly to begin loading saddle-bags on her."
"Keep your tongue civil," chided the Princess. "I permit your disrespect because we are alone, and because your scholarship provided a great service to us during the war, but my patience is not endless."
"Forgive, Highness," I murmured.
"Granted," said Sola, primly. "And to answer your concern, symbols are important to the people. Starvation will not kill our race, nor will cold, nor disease."
"No," I said, "what will kill our race is something called 'lack of minimum viable population'. We are hovering on the brink of Death by Biological Fact, Princess. It hangs over us like a hammer and will destroy us as surely as any timber wolf."
"Be that as it may," said the Princess, "What will assuredly kill our race is the lack of hope. And hope comes from symbols."
"Yes," I said, "I'm certain this came as a great consolation to the team of ponies you assigned to haul an entire statue up the side of a mountain."
Sola paused, measuring her words. "You have always been so practical, Cadence," she said, eventually. "I do not expect you to fully understand."
"I am science, you are philosophy," I quipped, bitterly. "Whatever I say bounces off you and sticks again to me."
"The statue of our adversary, Discord, stands in mute testament to the fact that we have conquered greater foes than the ones that now face us," said Sola, impatiently, "and yet have survived."
"But we haven't!" I exclaimed, turning toward her for the first time to-night. "We haven't conquered anything! We were obviously completely wrong!"
"How do you mean?" asked Sola, her eyes narrow.
"Discord and the draconequus are not one and the same, Sola," I said. "You've turned part of him to stone. An important part, yes. A physical manifestation that he put perhaps too much of himself into. Neutralizing that creature has hobbled him, perhaps for centuries. But look down into that deadly living forest at the foot of the Pinnacle and you tell me that you don't see Discord's hoofwork in it, in every wooden predator, every bloodthirsty creeper-vine. And that's just the start of it! You haven't seen some of the samples the long scouts have brought back. Did you know that there's a new little blue flower in the mix that can actually change ponies' shapes, whose only apparent governor is how funny the end result will be? Does that sound like anypony you know?"
Sola had the grace to remain silent.
"Discord is this land, Sola," I continued. "The truth is, plants do grow by themselves, animals do feed themselves, and weather just happens. Chaos is reality. Equestria was merely a thin sheet of order that we laid over it." I turned away from her, struggling, as ever, to find the perfect words. "No, not even so durable as that," I continued. "Equestria was a soap-bubble, Princess. A pleasant dream of control that we woke up from the moment you banished Luna to the moon."
My back was turned to the Princess, and I was unable to see her face; but her voice, when it came, was a portrait of grim composure.
"You speak of Equestria in the past tense," she said.
"Look at us!" I shouted. "Look at our proud country! It's dead, Sola! You're not 'Sola, Princess Equestria' anymore! You're not 'Sola, Princess Everfree'! You're the princess of a tiny band of survivors living on a barren finger of rock! You're 'Sola, Princess Celestia Pinnacle'! That's all! Mighty sovereign of a single military fortification where nopony other than particularly masochistic pegasi ought to even go, much less live! We used to be light and culture and learning, Sola, stretching our vision in every direction. Now there are five thousand of us left, and the farthest we can see is the length of a dusty parade-ground."
I squeezed my eyes shut. "So there," I said. "I've said it. You're no longer Princess Everfree to me. You're the queen of a trotting-yard, a cantering-lot. Are you happy with your kingdom?"
"My sister is lost to me, forever," said Sola, evenly. "Her foalish decision to let the demon Envy into her soul nearly destroyed our world. When I used the only power at my disposal great enough to banish the thing my sister had become, I inadvertently broke it. And the borders, which we had so carefully drawn with that same power, fell in an instant, and the Forest rushed in, and hundreds of thousands of my people perished. My hoof was forced at every step, Cadence, and every decision I made caused yet more death and suffering. You dare ask me now whether or not I am happy?"
"The Elements were always fueled by the sisterly harmony the two of you possessed," I said, clenching my chewing-teeth. "You used them to break themselves, you stupid bitch."
"I could end you," said Sola, with odious dispassion. "I will not, as I am kind, but please remember that I could."
"You should have known," I muttered, turning away and shaking my head. "I could have warned you, had you thought to ask me."
"And what would you have had me do?" asked Sola. "Let Nightmare Moon walk free? We cannot exist without land, but we cannot exist without light, either. And no earthly prison can hold a thing of smoke. It was the moon or Tartarus, Cadence. I chose the merciful option."
"No," I said. "You did not. I am the world's foremost authority on the Elements of Harmony, Sola, and I know more than anypony what they are capable of. Auric Turncoat and I were there from the start, helping you and Luna with them, every step of the way."
"Please don't utter the name of that flip-flop of a griffin," said Sola. "He is distasteful, and remains among us squandering our limited resources on my hair-thin forbearance alone. And the foremost authority on the Elements is, and will always be, my father in Eohippus. He showed us where to find them, provided the notes that you used to quicken them."
"Your father left us bread-crumbs!" I said. "Only I truly understand the Elements! And I understand them enough to know that when used by a being with no malice in her heart, they can be used to drive out demons, not just banish their vessels!"
"It was not an option," said Sola, briskly. "You were not with us on Twin Skies. You cannot understand."
"What I understand," I replied, "is that you have malice in your heart. And that you likely used the Elements in anger, not love. And that decision stole Luna from us, sundered the borders, and destroyed your kingdom. Congratulations, 'Princess Celestia'," I finished, spitting the name.
Sola, Princess Celestia, shuddered. "I came here to you on the anniversary of my sister's banishment, Cadence, because I thought you would be vulnerable, and that you might need my comfort. I see now that this was a mistake."
"The anniversary of your sister's banishment," I said, "was eleven days ago. If you wanted me vulnerable, you should have shown yourself then. But I knew that you would come to-night, instead. Because I know you."
Sola blinked.
"I see," she said, coming to the proper conclusion commendably quickly. "I've… come on the solar anniversary."
"Yes, the sun," I said. "On which you decreed our calendar should be based, I might add. We had to go in and drop little piles of days all over it, like cupcake sprinkles, just to make the lunar months match the sun-cycle. Had you shown up eleven days ago, as any astronomer would have advised you to do, I might have been weak. You might have broken me. But you came to-night, because no matter what you proclaim, it has always and ever been about you."
"I should go," said the Princess, walking back in the direction of my dusty and utterly untouched alchemical equipment, holding the black firesphere in her telekinetic grip.
"Yes, you should," I said. "Please do, in fact."
"I haven't asked, and you've never said," Sola remarked, hovering the sphere over the crucible-stand, her face turned away from me. "I've never seen you with a stallion, with your foal's sire. Which means that my decisions were probably the end of him. And you must hate me for that."
"Yes," I said. "I do. I always will. And I will tell my foal, in no uncertain terms, why she has only a dam in this world, not a sire, and who exactly is to blame."
"Cadence," said Sola, her voice weary and aching, "I… realize that I have never apologized to you personally for that. There were so many monumental apologies I needed to make, for Everfree, for the country at large. I have never once told you that above and beyond an entire nation of woe, I am sorry for your deep and personal loss."
"No," I said. "You have never."
"An oversight which itself requires yet more forgiveness," said Sola. "I am… a thousand times sorry for what I've done to you."
"Mm."
Sola sighed, heavily. "I suppose I deserve no better," she said. "If I may ask, who was he?"
"Your sister," I said.
The firesphere dropped into my crucible with a heavy thunk.
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Marked "complete", despite the abrupt ending, but there may be more to say after we actually meet Cadence on-screen (even though, as you have no doubt surmised, this is Cadence the Elder talking.)
I must read this
Edit: Okay, finished. I've never seen anyone spell the word "tonight" with a dash
"as it seemed could not go even an few minutes between-times anymore" - Did you miss a word, or am I reading this wrong?
"And I will tell my foal, in no uncertain terms, why she only has a dam in this world, not a sire, and who exactly is to blame." - Shouldn't that be has only?
I don't get the ending
My response is THIS!!!
Definitely wasn't expecting that ending, and like you said in the synopsis, it certainly wasn't what it seemed like.
Oh, holy balls that was amazing. Dat worldbuilding.
One sentence had errors: "...as it seemed could not go even an few minutes between-times anymore." EDIT: Oops, portalz0r beat me to it, haha.
ME gusta
391813
Fixed. I wrote the damn thing and I can't tell whether the end result is an unintentional April Fool's gag or not, but gag or no, typos must die.
Part 2 may clarify things, but may or may not exist, as noted above. If it exists later, it will probably clear things right up, but if not, I guess this is one of them ambiguous type-things.
391893
Fixed, with the same caveat as above.
what the fuck?
391925
I know, right?
391933
indeed. so luna is a hermaphrodite?
Well that was interesting. I have no idea how they could have possibly reformed Equestria and made this canon, but I guess anything's possible. Also, I saw the ending coming a mile away, but at least the synopsis was correct in that the whole premise surprised me.
391893 a.deviantart.net/avatars/l/y/lyramotherofgodplz.jpg
391924 ...part 2? a.deviantart.net/avatars/a/w/awwyeahplz.png
That was delicious. Gonna try to help allieviate the votebomb. :(
Very well written, but pretty please change the title? This was a wonderful read.
It Baffles The Mind - Priestess
Because I totally miscalled it the first time around.
So, apparently CSI:NY was on... I was watching it, but started reading this, and apparently I stopped registering anything else in the world existed, save for this story. Suddenly, the show was nearly over, and I was like WHAAA!!!
This is a very intriguing take on the loss of the Elements of Harmony's power after one bearer used them upon another. The entire concept, setting, characterization... Every last bit of it is So. Freaking. Deep!!!
Five Hearts for the amazing backstory, setting, and concept.
Five #25s for that amazing epic end!
I may not have been able to understand much of what I just read, but from what I did, this was pretty good. I think it would definitely be interesting if you could/would expand on this alternate universe you've built (possibly in the number 2, if you end up writing it?).
I can't say that I was too fond of Celestia in this story, but that's just my personal opinion. And as blunt the title is, this story was the happy opposite of what I was expecting, even with your description.
Plus the ending was great, let's not forget that.
391813
I have. But only in Shakespeare.
I like this. It was completely unexpected, but it was brilliant. Well played.
I think the name gives away the twist a little though.
Dat ending is either a very pissed Cadence pulling the Royal Pony Sisters equivalent of "Your Mom"...
Or DANG them unicorns and alicorns got some CRAZY flank magic!!!
391924 I like the abrupt ending. It adds something that I can't explain, cuz I don't know the word, and makes it awesome.
392026
392087
If you read some of Shakespeare's plays, he uses "tonight" as "to-night".
If this isn't what I think it is, i'm outta here!
pics.imcdb.org/0is836/005317.9201.jpg
I figured with a title like "Sex with Princess Luna," that this would be a troll fic, rife with misspellings and characters acting incredibly ooc. I was not expecting it to be so in depth or to star Cadence of all ponies.
392098 Ye olde English
392105 Nah, try this if you want a troll fic.
392130 I know. I already read it and moved on. I was thinking this might be another by the same author.
Love the world building you did for the story, the little hints and puns in the insults were hillarious to read, and the ending had just the right amount of punch.
You don't do your story justice with a title like that, Skywriter...heh. I am amused, but mourn for it.
I could pointlessly piss and moan about concepts and so on, since you and I have like opposite ideas about world-building...but why waste time? It would be vain and misrepresent my opinion; for all that this presents worldbuilding I'm disinclined to (the Sisters having parents and Discord representing essential universal chaos, and the Sisters being "the man" in a sexual relationship stick out as things I'd be willing to have long, tedious arguments about purely on a thematic level), I was interested in it, which is more than I can say for most people's attempts at things like this.
No, I'll piss and moan about something else, instead: your use of the first-person. Obviously not that you used it, but that I think you didn't use it your advantage quite as well as you might.
For all that this is from the first person, it reads more or less as if it was from the perspective of a third-person narrator in that style--dialogue is a full back-and-forth, both character's physical actions are more or less objectively described to set their mood, and above all, you could replace every "I" with a pronoun or "Cadence" and it would turn into a third-person narrative from Cadence's POV. You didn't write in the style of someone speaking, you wrote in the style of someone reading word-for-word from a book about themselves where they replace their name or a pronoun with "I". Doing so would be completely unnatural in real life, which begs the question of why Cadence is doing it here.
The advantage of the first-person from a storytelling standpoint is that it provides subjectivity, and invests a lot in a specific character's perspective; but in this story we get precious little of that. Think about what can be said in first-person that you as an author couldn't get away with from a third-person or third-person omniscient narrator; at no point does Cadence come out and say, "I felt X when Celestia Yed, as if Z, bearing in mind A," or whatever. Little reflections on a theme of "this is what I think" or "everyone thinks X but I think Y", or "she Xed, which always annoys/pleases/etc". Above all, since it's in the first person, the non-POV character's thoughts and moods shouldn't be presented as objective truth--which you avoided--but you're welcome to have the perspective character speculate on it as an alternate to the third-party technique of describing their physical movements to suggest.
Forgive me for doing this (it's a little rude, I know), but here's something like how I would have done this part, in FPPOV:
"The anniversary of your sister's banishment, Sola, was eleven days ago. " I snapped, trying to keep resentment from my voice. But her ignorance was so typically self-involved, so drenched in the arrogance of a ruler newly granted absolute authority, that I was forced to struggle to do so. "If you wanted me vulnerable, you should have shown yourself then. But I knew that you would come to-night, instead. Because I know you."
Sola blinked--rather stupidly, I think--before realization dawned. "I see," she said, coming to the proper conclusion with <adjective> swiftness. "I've… come on the solar anniversary." But of course she had.
I mean, forgive me for mangling your words, but I tried to illustrate what I mean--toss in little reflections, make the words less about what actually occurred and more about what the perspective character felt about it--because in a first-person narrative, the interesting part is generally how that character's perspective and reactions shaped the events described. Take my story "So Be It"--from a third-person perspective, without Twilight's POV, it's just a really fucked up, abusive S/M relationship; but because we hear Twi go through the steps of understanding what's happening to her, I feel like it ended up being a story about the cleverness and deep-down toughness that are essential to her character, as well as a reflection on a student/mentor relationship in extreme upheaval.
If you're writing from the internal perspective of one character, I presume we are meant to be interested in it--so you have to tell us what it is. Cadence speaking to the disappointment that is Sola, Princess Celestia, who just more or less murdered the "father" of her foal presents such a wonderful opportunity to use this style, but you need to hammer at its strengths!
And now having spent twenty minutes hunched over my girlfriend's japanese laptop writing that, and it being 1AM, I think I may just get some sleep.
Don't make a part two, don't elaborate on it. The ambiguity is just perfect. Over-explaining will ruin the atmosphere.
P.s. I always use to laugh at how worked up people would get over Comic Sans. I finally understand how terrible it is...
392266
If there was only one thing I could agree with device heretic on, it's this. I think you may have potentially screwed yourself over, thanks in part to both the title and the synopsis.
When folks actually give it the chance, they see that it's quite good - if they give it the chance. Outward appearances alone will make many folks wary.
Quite good I enjoyed it. Reminds me somewhat of the scathing sardonicastic dialogue in The Descendant's letter based fics, except with 2 way dialogue.
Not really a fan of the lore or characterization, but as entertainment I enjoyed it quite a bit.
I was actually drawn in by the title. Thought: "Oh damn, someone's being VERY up front with their clopfic". But then I noticed that it had a teen rating and read the disc. Otherwise I probably wouldn't have clicked this story.
That ending was brilliant by the way, didn't see it coming at all.
392322
I read everything Skywriter writes for the concepts alone. I rarely like the stories themselves.
392218 a.deviantart.net/avatars/o/k/okayfaceplz.png
Ouch. Cadence the Elder is being rather itchy-twitchy-rhymes-with-witchy, there... but I can see where she's coming from.
This is, above all, a cold story, physically and emotionally. It's a long way to the Equestria we know from this sky-high nadir...
392307 Or the author can make another chapter, and you can choose to not read it!
391936
Magic!
393887
*lifts up glasses with robotic claw* what is this magic you speak of?
392991 It's really up to him. I'm just giving my opinion.
Now this was a fascinating piece! So many original ideas and such brilliant world building weaved into the narrative, I mean, that was simply fantastic, even the bits I might normally take issue (Mean Celestia "though she is ancient here so it's less of an issue" and omni-powered Discord) with I was un-bothered by because it was just so good. The use of Cadence the elder, the younger Celestia, I love the idea of her sniffing and having carry overs from her ancient lifestyle. NMM/Luna being the sire to Cadence was a great idea and masterfully executed, the use of Auric Turncoat whom I really came to like despite his relative shrot screen time and the discussion on exactly how such a relationship between Luna and Cadence could and would develop and the implied matters with NMM.
So yeah overall I really loved this story!
What in the bleeding hell just happened.
The last line's context is something that certainly begs for an explanation of how in the flying fuck. I suppose that's what the next chapter is for! The first-person, historical tidbits and peek into a Celestia and Cadance that I haven't seen before was all a treat. What really stood out was how well-done that atmosphere was, and that it was absolutely perfect for twists and the sharp words traded.
Oh, and all the times 'I said' appeared. That stood out too.