During the four and a half billion or so years the planet Earth has existed in this universe, it has never known magic or had been ruled over by any god-like figure. That all changed in the early years of the 21st Century, as a race of peace loving equines have decided to move to this world, eventually devising a serum to let people join their paradise at the cost of their humanity. Witness one man's struggle to keep his sanity and identity as he attempts to fight the inevitable course of humanity being smothered and obliterated by Utopia.
Chapters (3)
Hope this is not pro-pony, cant stand that shit.
388384 No it isn't. From the title, the description, the setting, etc. it should be fairly obvious that horrible, horrible things are about to happen.
388419
Horrible as in Aryan ponies?
Or horrible as humans fucking about?
Looks good so far, so I shall track... I mean favorite it and continue to read.
can't have utopia and free will at the same time.
388384
Yeah, I know what you mean. God damn ponies! I hate them too! I don't even know why I watch the show! Hate those god damn ponies! Whatever you do, make sure the ponies are properly represented as absolute evil. Fuck those god damn ponies! I'm glad I'm not alone in hating ponies!
You'll need to check your English a bit - it's better than many but still a bit wonky here and there. Mostly in the mechanical aspects, for example when you're quoting the sign, use single quotes not double, and "it's" is short for "it is". If you're not saying "it is", you probably want "its" instead.
388585
Eventually, every conversion burrito fic attracts faggots like you.
I mean, do you masturbate to these? I can see you guys commenting on every single one.
And yeah, pro-pony TCB fics are full of horrible things, maybe you should read up on what they are?
I like this story. I'd strongly suggest going a little lighter on the formatting - less colour-changing, imo, it usually leads to problems. (Try a dark shade of blue or just using more italics instead of colour.)
The plot's an interesting approach, even if the logic behind character decisions is a bit fuzzy. Keep it up, it's a lot better than some human-related pony fanfiction that I've read of late.
This is turning out to be quite a good read but I do have a sudgestion, please change the written parts of the story to a darker color. Everything else is good as I can see so keep it up and stuff.
my message to the scientist who is working on the serum: that is what you will say when the catalyst comes and fucks with your endings.
SPACE MAGIC SON! marauder shields. never forget.
ohhhh Dark Celestia mode....
she didn't say the TRUE purpose of them Conversion Centers.....
interesting, much different from all the other Conversion Bureau stories I read....
410447
Victorious and Uplifiting!
And on the countertop was a book: "To Serve Man".
Yum yum!
Equestrian to English dictionaries don't exist.
444008
That's a dirty Equestrian Spy statement to me... LYNCH THE TRAITOR
Seriously, pretty good. Keep it up, dude.
528033 GUAAA!!!
*me gallops away dropping two ponification bombs*
388585
Filthy misanthropic troll.
This is how "The Conversion Bureau" should have been in the first place. Believable, realistic and very intriguing.
I hope he can stop the ponies