• Published 31st Mar 2012
  • 1,876 Views, 20 Comments

The Conversion Bureau: The Call of Equestria - threecard



A horror based "original world" take on The Conversion Bureau inspired by the works of HP Lovecraft

  • ...
6
 20
 1,876

The Lurking Fear

"All I say is that I think it is... unlikely that anything like a central cosmic will, a spirit world, or an eternal survival of personality exist. They are the most preposterous and unjustified of all the guesses which can be made about the universe..."

Letter to Robert E. Howard, August 1923

September 25, 2012

Cory sat in the office of his boss at the Boston Herald, The reporter wanting to talk to his employer about the Conversion Bureaus. The things he found in Dr. Betruger's lab did not ease his slumber in any way, and the doctor's rapid turn from renowned advocate for bettering the human condition to eager supporter of Princess Celestia with whatever the Bureaus were doing did not help matters. Currently Cory's boss was pacing around behind the desk, thinking over what his subordinate had revealed to him.

"So you're telling me that those Bureaus may, keyword may, be up to no good? And you want me to publish an editorial on it on my paper?" Cory's supervisor finally said after a pause of thought.

"I'm telling you sir, nothing good will come out out of them! Why hasn't anything ever heard about from the people who've been there?" He responded.

"Because there's no phone service. I took the tour when they opened, and I was told that they use some machines that block the signal."

"Was the tour through?"

"No, but it's still a tour. Why would they hide anything from people taking a tour, especially a building that people are supposed to say in for a week?"

Cory went wide-eyed in shock. "Wait, you're going?"

"Maybe. My kids are doing it, my wife is almost deciding to say yes, so why not me? It's better to go with whatever the Bureaus are doing as a family. They promised no harm, and nothing's going to happen to us."

"Don't do it! Just don't do it. Tell your kids to stop!"

"Why are you so riled up about all of this anyway? You're acting kinda paranoid."

"Because I just have this feeling that... The feeling that..." Cory hesitated as he gasped for air. "You promise to not tell anyone else about this?" He recoiled as he realized the folly of asking that question to someone in the press, hypocritical as it was.

"...Depends."

"You know about how Dr. Beturger vanished, right?"

"We covered that story a few days before the lots for the Centers were brought by the ponies. I remember the tabloids going in a rage about it for subscriptions."

"...I went to his mansion yesterday, and I saw... I don't know how to say it. There was this test result for something about this serum. Dr. Beturger said it changed genes." Cory started getting shivers down the spine recalling the day before. "I-I only read a few of the reports, but as he was writing them, he started being different. He raved about how humans have meaningless lives, and..."

"And what? What was so terrible that you needed to break into the abandoned house of a famous scientist, and on the possible imagined chance that something needed to be done?"

"Dr. Beturger worked with the ponies to... do something to humans. He said that the serum he was making was going to be for the public."

The voice of Cory's overseer turned extremely stern. "Listen, I know where you're coming from. A race of pastel colored horses moving into the world is jarring for every one of us, but if we post anything horrifically negative, even on the vanishingly small chance it's true, people are going to be all over this paper. If I let the reporter who is known for having most of his news land on FARK do a report on this, somebody out there will blow that out of proportion, and the Herald will be wrecked beyond repair."

"But I'm not lying! Something ghastly is going to happen with these Bureaus."

"Unless you have evidence or a police warrant, which I doubt you'll get because of diplomatic immunity, I don't want to hear about this again." With that the conversation ended.

Cory left the office in somewhat of a huff. His employer was not listening and he needed something to put his mind at ease, especally with the things he read about in the reports. If Dr. Betruger, an acclaimed biologist and believer of human progress can have his mind seemingly warped by the ponies, humanity cannot be far off. Why would the ponies need hundreds of thousands of Conversion Centers anyway?

The reporter went back to his work covering stories. Right now he was entrusted with a major one, Election 2012. Currently the race was in a deadlock, and though Celestia and the Centers did take some attention from it, it was still the center of national focus, with all the mudslinging that entailed. As Cory was reporting on how Massachusetts and the rest of New England were likely to reelect the current President, he couldn't help but put his mind off the job. Dr. Betruger had wrote his reports with this assumption that humanity would get "uplifted". The ponies' Conversion Bureaus are meant for humans. "There has to be something going down there.", Cory thought. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he caught himself writing notes about his investigation and not what he was supposed to report on.

The workday ended, and Cory, glad to have picked up his car back from the repair shop this morning, settled on taking the tour of the Bureaus his boss talked about. It was probably unwise to explore a building that produces much fear, but it was a guided tour. At most, people would grow suspicious of the ponies when the group disappeared, launch an investigation, the same one he was doing. Not that nobody had heard from whoever came into the Centers to stay, but still...

Cory got out his phone and dialed the Center's number. After a few moments of ringing he got an answer from a unicorn secretary.

"Hello, welcome to the Dartmouth St. and Warren Ave. Conversion Center. I'm Dream Dancer, how may I help you today?"

Cory responded. "Yes, I would like a tour of your Conversion Center. I have a few concerns about when I sign up for this, is anything going to happen, just standard things. I don't want to get hurt or worse if anything happens to me here is all. You know how it is, right?"

"I understand perfectly. When do you want to take the tour?"

"As soon as possible, please. If I'm going to do this, I better get it out of the way. Anything for the next hour or so?"

"We do have a tour starting in 30 minutes. I can squeeze you in there."

"That would be perfect."

"The guide will be on the parking lot when the tour starts. Thank you for calling!" The dial tone sounded as Cory stared at the phone in surprise at how easy it was to get in. Fortunately it was only 11 minutes from the Herald to the Center the investigator had called, so Making the tour wasn't a problem in the slightest. As Cory reached the Center, it emanated a sparkling, magical fairy tale varnish, as if something humankind had forgotten long ago decided to come back and set up residence. Cory parked his car in the surprisingly filled parking lot, and a light blue earth pony, the ones without horns or wings, called everyone over.

"Hello everyone. Welcome to one of the the many Conversion Bureaus through the world! My name is Sugar Song, and I'll be your tour guide throughout the tour. before we begin, is there any questions any of you would like to ask?"

Had he no suspects of the Bureaus, Cory would have probably spent 20 minutes asking questions. But at this point he felt Dr. Betruger's notes were all he needed to know that the ponies were up to no good. He went silent while initial questions were asked. The Earth Pony mare finished the last one, then ushered everyone inside the Center to start the tour. The initial wonder of the Conversion Center gave way to a somewhat... Wrong feel, as if something deep inside Cory told him to turn back.

If the outside had the appearance of a clinic, the inside had it's aura precisely correct. Each of the tour members, including Cory, suddenly had bad doctor memories brought back to them as they stepped into the complex. Despite colorful decorations, it was somewhat sterile, like the place was built to cauterize something from the humans that "checked in". There was a desk where a unicorn was writing down something, oddly with no computer in sight. In fact, Cory could not perceive anything beyond the turn of the 20th century in the room.

Sugar Song, the tour guide started explaining: "This is the lobby, where we put in the names of all the pon- people who enter the Conversion Center. This here," the mare pointed a hoof toward the unicorn, "is Crystal Treasure, the pony that checks up on all the humans that come into the Center." The unicorn waved at the tour group with her hoof Before joining the earth pony in the tour. "Hello. I'm Crystal Treasure. Sugar Song and I only meet up when we agreed to work at the Bureaus, and friendship came soon afterwards. It's so great to be here, seeing so many humans sign up for the Bureaus. Equestria is a wonderful place, and I'm sure you'll all find that out for yourselves once you enter to stay." Crystal Treasure's horn glowed as the mare eyed the tour group as if she was taking a guess at something.

As the two droned on about what the centers were about mostly a repeat of Princess Celestia's speech about how higly the ponies hold harmony and how the Centers were meant for humans to understand Equestria. The two were utterly into the speech, and Cory took the opportunity to examine the unicorn's desk. He was on the verge of taking one of the papers, but he saw that the language was entirely different from English, some type of pictogram focused type of writing. After some thought, Cory decided to take it anyway, as it might provide a useful clue as to what was going on.

"OK, let's continue the tour!" Sugar Song declared as the mare and Crystal Treasure lead the group deeper into the Center. As the two guided the humans deeper into the building, Cory noticed something. Despite being built for humans, there was little to accommodate them as almost everything was built for ponies. The doors, the ground, which was made of this soft linoleum-like mineral, even the sign placements and light switches were lowered for them. Even the empty dorms the group was shown weren't built for humans. When Sugar Song and Crystal Treasure were enveloped in leading the group, Cory saw a chance to abandon the tour and explore the facility on his terms. When the group turned left at an intersection, the investigator turned right.

The Conversion Center was more maze-like than Cory had first thought. The corridors twisted and turned, and the reporter frequently had to hide behind a corner or two to evade ponies that were walking around the halls. Cory did this for hours, feeling helpless and lost. There was something more to these Centers than the group was being shown, and the investigator felt that he needed to get to the bottom of it all. Suddenly, he heard hoofsteps of ponies, and ducked into an office to hide.

Cory found himself in what looked to be a somewhat fancy room, probably meant for the Bureau's local manager. A table and chair was the centerpiece, and there were numerous books, all of which were in the Equestrian language. Once again, Cory could find no trace of computers or anything from beyond the 1930's at most. There was however, a book unattended on the desk. Inspecting it, Cory found that it was an Equestrian to English translator. Cory had never taken a foreign language class while he was in school, but skimming through the book, he found that consulting was an easy way to understand the ponies' language. He stowed it away for later, figuring the ponies could always get another book, and went to venture off into the Bureau some more.

Once again, the investigator was forced to play trilby-hatted cat burglar in order to progress through to the areas the tour group did not go. He did see them occasionally, but always on a different path. Apparently they did not notice Cory's disappearance, as Sugar Song and Crystal Treasure continued as if he wasn't there. Even though the investigator had to hide, actual guards were almost non-existent. On that subject, Cory had hardly seen any human that wasn't part of the tour group, despite the massive amount of cars saying otherwise. As this thought was going though his head, the reporter finally saw a human. He was wearing a clinical garb, and was wandering towards a double door. Cory followed him, and peeped through the door crack when the doors closed.

Peeking inside the room, Cory saw the human, a blond-haired male somewhere in his 30's, meet up with two ponies, an earth pony and a unicorn. As the human was somewhat shivering the two ponies proceeded to give him a breaker filled with a bubbling, sparking purplish liquid that was somewhat glowing. The human opened his mouth while the unicorn's horn glowed. The beaker suddenly shined with white light, the the container moved seemingly of it own accord, in gross violation of physics. It lowered itself into the man's mouth as the liquid started pouring in. After the process was done the man started convulsing, and dropped to the ground.

When a few moments of trembling passed, a white light enveloped him. The shape of the man started changing. First his hair color turned into a bright red as his hands and feet turned cylindrical, swallowing his fingers, thumbs, and toes. The patient grew wide-eyed in fear as his arms and legs evened out in length, turning the person into a quadruped with no fine manipulators. His head twisted the skull and shape as his canine teeth were replaced, his eyes grew in size, and the iris' turned yellow. His skin came next, contorting into a cyan color, and gaining a different texture than a member of the human race normally would have. The patient breathed heavily all along the procedure as his last few human features struggled valiantly to resist the serum, the man even screaming his last few breaths in agony as a member of mankind before being replaced by a totally different voice. Finally, a long tail, same color as his new mane, grew out of his backside. The transformation had been complete.

Cory's vision warped, danced, and blurred as the human had gone from the transformation from man to pony. He had seen evidence of it in Dr. Betruger's lab, but witnessing the process firsthand was something entirely different. Just seconds ago, that pony was a man! Cory breathed heavily as he madly scrambled back towards the lobby, not wanting to see any more of that horrible image. Who knows what would happen if he was caught, but Cory just wanted away from that room.

Fortunately, the tour was almost over, and Cory rejoined the group as it entered the lobby.

"And that's our Conversion Center. Any Questions?" Crystal Treasure asked to finish it off. Cory was shocked silent, and did not raise a peep. Nobody asked a question though, and Sugar Song ushered the group out, the two ponies waving goodbye. A person touched Cory's shoulder.

"You look like you saw a ghost. Anything wrong?"

The investigator responded, "Nothing. Just wandered into the wrong room." The woman gave a suspicious look before setting off to her car. Cory did the same, climbing into the driver's seat as he brought the translator dictionary and began translating the front desk paper he snatched:

Date: September 24

Secretary: Crystal Treasure

Humans Checked In: 3,685

Ponies to Equestria: 56 (Note: Opening Day)

Mechanical Problems: None

Spell Mishaps: None

General Status Update:

No problems so far. The unicorn spell allowing for a rough estimate of what human become once the serum has been administered is working fine. No wrong predictions have occured so far. Being opening day, everything is in tip top shape, and the humans seem fine when being educated about Equestria, though almost all of them show mental distress when being taught about Princess Celestia's view of the universe and humans. Most of the staff is needed calming their fears, and the humans themselves, down.

This did nothing to assure Cory's fears. In fact, it heightened them. As the investigator drove home, he climbed his home building's multitude of steps to his apartment. He entered, posted Crystal Treasure's report to the wall, and started the 3rd entry to his journal:

September 25

I can't believe it. I took a tour of one of the Conversion Bureaus today, and I saw something horrible: They're changing people. Not just mentally, they are actually changing people to ponies. What in the world? How could I have been so foolish? It was right there in the name; Conversion Bureau! Why would they do that to normal men and women? That is not natural in any way, shape, or form! The sight was absolutely horrifying! Princess Celestia is planning to tear mankind's soul out and remake it in her own image! Why isn't anybody doing something about it?

When I was in an office in the Bureau, I found an Equestrian to English dictionary. Hopefully I can use this to gather more evidence to prove something. The few slips of paper I have aren't enough; I need something more to prove what I saw. Or better yet a way to stop it all? Maybe they are making the serum somewhere? I need to focus. Perhaps there is someone else out there? No, I haven't seen much in the way of opposition to Princess Celestia, only a few fringe nutbags, though I fear I may join their ranks. I need willpower if I want to keep my sanity.

At this point I am running out of options. Dr. Beturger's house is probably doubly guarded, and the Bureaus may have noticed what I took. There has got to be something out there I can do... A very real chance exists of all of humankind being put under chains. My dreams will not be pleasant tonight.

Comments ( 8 )

410447

Victorious and Uplifiting!

And on the countertop was a book: "To Serve Man".

Yum yum!

Equestrian to English dictionaries don't exist.

444008
That's a dirty Equestrian Spy statement to me... LYNCH THE TRAITOR


Seriously, pretty good. Keep it up, dude.

528033 GUAAA!!!
*me gallops away dropping two ponification bombs*

388585
Filthy misanthropic troll.

This is how "The Conversion Bureau" should have been in the first place. Believable, realistic and very intriguing.

I hope he can stop the ponies

Login or register to comment