Discord discovers Earth and decided to bring chaos to a small town in the Nevada desert. The mayor calls the only people he believes can help: the Ghost Busters.
Discord discovers Earth and decided to bring chaos to a small town in the Nevada desert. The mayor calls the only people he believes can help: the Ghost Busters.
Remember kids, franchises are the way to go.
Some logical errors I'd like to point out:
I believe there is something wrong here, you see it's actually Ray who is always playing childish. He is also the one who called the Marshmallow Man in the movie, so Ray should be drooling over the sweets.
Egon is the most intellectual of the group, he always keeps a calm demanor most of the time, and also is responsible for most of the deductions they make while facing ghosts.
Therefore you should switch the candy lover with Ray, and the one who says "In all my years of studying parapsychology [...]" should actually be Egon.
At the end the one demanding the 6000$ should also be Peter, since he is mostly responsible for the financials and the business questions.
Aside from that the story was decent enough, I could actually imagen this as an episode of "The real Ghostbusters". Only other contra I can give is, that I find the screentime the Ghost Busters get here might be a bit short. You should have wrote less about the citizens and more about the team.
Just my opinion.
4303705
Thanks for the advice. . I am glad that you gave me that advice because it will help to improve the story!
Well this was a pretty fun read. Thanks for writing this, it was awesome.
4315775
Thank you.