Discord and the Ghost Busters
Discord was lying on one a hammock that he created stretching across the top of Canterlot Castle. Each end of the hammock connected to one spire of the castle, making it a rather big hammock. Discord was very bored, more so than usual, so he was stuck on something he could do today. You would think that a reality bending serpent could have the most fun in the world, but that was not the case. It was never the case unless Princess Celestia disappeared. She prevented all of the good fun from happening. Discord sipped chocolate milk from his sippy-cup while thinking of things that he could be doing today. He sat and sat and sat thinking of ways that he could be annoying and cause some chaos, and then it hit him. He could go and annoy the pony scientists working on their egghead projects in their lab in the castle. Discord was sure that they needed some excitement in their boring job, and he was just too happy to lend a claw.
Discord snapped his eagle talon and appeared in one of Canterlot's many long corridors, except that this corridor had the pony lab entrance to it. Discord walked over the endless red-carpet, looking for the entrance to the lab. All he saw were the boring wooden doors until his yellow eyes caught sight of the large metallic door near the end of the corridor. The sign next to the door read "Canterlot science laboratory". Discord stretched and flattened his body until he was as flat as a piece of printing paper before he slipped underneath the large metal doors.
Once inside, Discord took in many sights that made him yawn a bit at how boring they looked. He saw machines five times taller than he was, racks of test tubes and what appeared to be a cloning machine. Discord didn't need a cloning machine! He could clone things with the snap of a finger! Discord transformed himself into an old pony scientist that resembled his old form which had his goatee, his yellow eyes with red irises, and his unicorn horn was nice and twisted.
Discord started to walk in any direction that he felt like. He went wherever the nonexistent wind took him. Eventually he came across a table with pony scientists studying a flower and injecting it with liquid filled syringes. The syringes made the flower change colors, which Discord admitted was very boring. They had some of the best technology in Equestria and they were wasting time on making a flower change colors? Discord would have none of it. Discord's left pony hoof turned into his eagle talon and he snapped it, causing the flower to grow 1000 times its original size. It grew and grew and grew causing it to break through the roof of the laboratory and through the roof. Some birds flew into the lab and perched themselves on random machines.
"What's going on?! That wasn't supposed to happen!" yelled out one of the scientists. Discord moved away to another part of the lab and let those ponies take care of his mess. Discord saw one of the birds sitting atop the cloning machine and decided to test out the machine's ability to clone things. He doubted that it would compare to his magic. Discord snatched the bird out of the air with his magic and stuck it into a slot of the machine. Discord then lifted his hoof and punched in a number. He punched in 5000 and then he clicked on a big red button, and waited while the machine made a loud and mysterious roaring sound. Soon, the doors slid open and 5000 small birds flew out and flooded the lab, causing the ponies to scream.
Discord was just laughing and laughing as the ponies were freaking out. Eventually all of the birds flew out of the hole in the roof, but not before they left their droppings behind. How did those freshly cloned birds leave droppings behind? Don't ask because there is no fun in making sense.
Discord continued to walk through the lab until he came across a big mirror with runes engraved on the sides and even some purple gems embedded in them. Now that was something that greatly interested Discord, so he read a note underneath the name of the mirror that said "Alternate Dimension mirror. DO NOT TOUCH!"
Discord liked the sound of an alternate dimension mirror. He continued to look over the mirror until he came upon another note on the left side of the mirror that read, "Opens only once every 30 moons. To return to Equestria, return to area of entry."
"Only once every thirty moons? I think I can fix that." said Discord as he snapped his eagle claw and forced the mirror to turn operational. It didn't look any different, just the same pale mirror, except now it was a pale portal. "Well, let's get explorin'!" said Discord as he lifted his goat leg, then his dragon leg, and so on until he stepped through the portal to wherever.
Discord appeared in the middle of a bunch of big and smelly animals that looked like ponies, only much uglier with elongated faces and puny eyeballs with a derp complex. Discord put his hands on the now dirt ground and stood up. Wait hands? Yes, Discord now appeared to have two equal hands much like a monkey's. He spawned a floating mirror in front of him and took in his from which looked like his monkey equivalent. It did not sit well with him, so he snapped his left monkey fingers together and was now back to his normal draconequus self in a flash of white light. "Ah, that's much better..." trailed off Discord as he slowly took in his surroundings.
He noticed that there was hardly a cloud in the sky, and there was nothing but dirt and rocks in every direction. It was hot, and the sun made him squint his yellow eyes. He gazed in the direction of a small town in the distance with vultures circling in the sky overhead like something just died. He then looked down at the horse-things, which he noticed were all looking up at him full of fear, with their little eyes darting back and forth. "BOO!".
That was it. The horse-thingies darted in all directions to get away from the draconequus with their hooves thumping all the way. They did not even stop at the wooden gates that stood around them all. Some crashed through the wood as if it wasn't there with an ear-piercing crunch, and some jumped over the useless fence as if they were taking flight and crashing down five seconds later. Discord just laughed at the farmer's expense, for when he found all of his animals gone, he would be angrier than a hungry bear.
Discord looked at the horizon again amongst all of the scattering horse-thingies, and saw the town again with the sun shrinking over the horizon. Discord did not like the dark, so he rose the sun back up with the flick of his lion paw. After the land was illuminated once again, he took flight with his small bat and bird wings and gracefully flew toward the town as gracefully as a draconequus can. 'This is great! This new world has no rules, so I can do whatever I want! No Celestia, no elements, no Twilight Sparkle!' thought Discord in a flamboyant tone.
Discord continued to fly, sporadically falling a little bit for forgetting to use his wings. Discord touched down once he got tired of flying for so long, cutting his paw on the asphalt street. He rubbed his talon along the wound, which disappeared as if it were erased. He stood up as straight as he could with his body and waltzed toward the town. Each step he took made poison joke flowers pop up in the spots where he stepped. Eventually Discord reached a small building far from town with a sign that read, "Country gas and snack stop. "
Discord saw nobody around, so he walked towards the building and looked through the window where he spotted some more of those bipedal monkeys. One wore a red checkered shirt with suspenders and a cowboy hat. His face was full of wrinkles and he had a nice grey beard hanging down all the way to his scorpion belt. The other one was much taller than him sported a large belly. He wore a yellow checkered polo shirt and bore no facial hair whatsoever. He wore large cowboy boots with large spurs jutting out from the back. "I don't know what the heck happened Billy! The sun just moved back up in the sky as if it were bored of the same ol' routine!" said the tall fat one.
"Really Skeeter? Last time you said you saw a big feet. I ain't buyin' it!" said Billy
Skeeter looked really agitated. "I think it's time ya took a look fer yerself!". Skeeter grabbed Billy by the arm and tried to pull him toward the door past the rack of twinkies. "Ah told ya I ain't goin' nowhere!" said Billy as he noticed Discord peering throught whe window at them.
"What is that!" yelled Billy as he pointed with his free arm at Discord. Skeeter pulled his head away from Billy and saw Discord staring at him now with mismatched eyes and his fang sticking out. "Aaaah! It's big feet!" yelled Skeeter in horror as he let go of Billy and ran to the back of the store to avoid the piercing gaze of Discord.
Discord on the outside was starting to giggle, as he knew that he could do anything here. So he snapped his talon and made all of the snacks in the store come alive. There were hotdogs, jerky, twizzlers, war-heads, and of course twinkies all becoming animated. They jumped at Billy and clinged to him, causing him to spin around and try to throw them off to no avail. Twinkies clung to his beard and spat frosting all over the place as if they had an unlimited amount. It was all beautiful in Discord's eyes. Skeeter in the back of the store was unaware of the slushy machines that soon came alive and joined in the fray by spraying him with their cold drinks. The slushy was painfully cold and gave skeeter a brain freeze just from making contact with it.
Discord was outside laughing and slapping his knees. "That is priceless! hahaha!". He wiped his eyes of tears and started to walk away towards the town again.
The sun did not move anymore once Discord interfered with nature. Since this world moved around the sun, Discord literally grabbed the sun and moved it around the earth, frying a few other planets in the process of his shenanigans. Those poor Martians never saw it coming...BUT Discord could never be happier!
He was on the outskirts of medium sized town, and saw people walking around and freaking out. He decided to play it stealthy and avoid being seen if it could be helped, which it could. He snapped his eagle talon and turned invisible where continued to stroll through town taking in his surroundings.
The roads were cracked, there were small cafes and general stores, and there were many animals running about. This town reminded Discord of Appleoosa, except it was a little more advanced, but less taken care of. Discord saw a stop sign and snapped his fingers. Next thing you know the stop sign grew a pair of legs and started running down the road chasing some cats and freaking people out. He snapped his fingers again and a whole BBQ restaurant building had invisible walls like there was a texture glitch in a video game. All of the customers inside either ran out in fear or just sat in awe at how strange things were becoming. Discord was just having oh so much fun.
He took flight and flew to the center of the town where the mayor resided. It was a short two-story building with a small sheriff's office adjacent to it. There were only two police cruisers parked in the employee parking lot, but there was a long line to the door of the office. It had appeared that Discord's actions riled the monkeys up. Discord flew down, still invisible, and listened to the conversations coming from within. "Is this some kind a April fool's prank er somethin'?"
"No sir! We are not lying about anything! Go see for yourself!"
"Fine, but only if it'll get ya to be quiet..." mumbled what sounded like the sheriff. Discord wanted to make sure that the sheriff got a good glimpse of his new playground, so he got to snapping his eagle talons together in an annoying cacophony of snaps, frantically trying to prepare.
When the sheriff walked out, his eyes went wide at the sight, and so did the civilian's eyes when the turned around to see their whole town turned upside down behind their backs. There were cotton candy clouds raining chocolate milk and cats and dogs running around with long legs. There was the stop sign from earlier doing jumping jacks and traffic lights unhinged themselves from the poles and flew away with their new wings. "I'm going to get to the bottom of this!" yelled the sheriff in denial of any of this being real. He walked over to his car to drive around and investigate this "prank", only to find it twenty times smaller than normal. "What kind of joke is this?" said the sheriff with a cracking voice.
The sheriff, completely lost in confusion, walked over to the mayor's office and went inside. Discord followed and gave him clown clothes with another snap of his eagle talon. The sheriff went up a flight of stairs and slammed the entrance to the mayor's office open.
The mayor was a short man with a western mustache and wore a daisy suit. He looked up when he heard the sheriff barge in. "What in the name of god are you wearin' shaw?! I don't pay ya to attend toddler's birthday parties!". The sheriff, shaw, looked over his new clothes and started cursing aloud.
"Sir, there's some strange stuff goin' on out there, and I think you need to see it for yourself. I swore I was not wearing this 30 seconds ago!". The little flower on Shaw's new clown suit shot water out and drenched the mayor's face. He let out a frown.
"Shaw, why don't you just-" started the mayor before Discord sneezed causing the window and wall behind the mayor to explode outward and onto the street below. Before the mayor could respond, one of the winged traffic lights flew in and dinged the mayor over the head. "Owww!" he yelled and turned around to look out of the window to see breakdancing penguins on the street. The mayor kept a straight face, and could only respond in a serious tone. "I think you should investigate this immediately Shaw."
"I was just about to suggest that." Shaw replied. Shaw left, and Discord flew out of the new hole.
Discord flew over the town and took great pride in his new decorations. All of the cotton candy from above poured chocolate milk down from the sky and drenched anyone below. Discord made some of these clouds chase pedestrians below and float over their heads to color them brown with chocolate milk. It was all good fun, until Discord noticed that most of the country pedestrians below were cooperating to try and avoid as much of his chaos as possible. That is not something that Discord approved of at all, so sir! He swooped down and stood in front of a crowd cowering underneath eves to the movie theatre. They all looked up at him in terror.
"Monster!"
"Hell-spawn!"
"Don't move and it may not see us!"
Discord looked bemused and decided to assert his authority. "Fear not monkey creatures! I am the new mayor of this town, and under my watch there will always be cotton candy clouds! Have some chocolate milk and toast my righteous reign!". Discord snapped his eagle talon and spawned chocolate milk for everyone cowering. Each glass hovered in the air in front of everyone, and only one was daring enough to grab hers. A tough cowgirl fully dressed in stereotypical western clothes that resembled Applejack took her drink and downed it quickly.
"That wasn't so ba-" she started before her stomach started to growl loudly. It was getting so loud that everyone covered their ears. "Oh mah stomach!" she yelled while running for a bathroom wherever one may be. Discord giggled at his super mega laxative prank.
"Anyone else want to partake in my chaos?"
"NO! I want you to turn our town back to normal this INSANT!" yelled a random civilian. Discord levitated him out of the crowd and hovered him in front of his face.
"Congratulations random citizen! you get to be the first to be discorded!" said Discord smoothly but quickly as his eyes started to swirl in a green, blue white, and yellow vortex. The human could not look away, and soon found himself in a trance-like state, his eyes starting to swirl like Discord's. His body started to turn grey from the head down, until he looked absolutely bland in color. Discord dropped him and he got up quickly. He turned around.
"What are you all looking at!!?" he yells while grabbing someone and pushing them out into the rainy street. The street then started to flow like a river of neon colors that glowed ethereally in the pink atmosphere, carrying the civilian away and flowing somewhere else. Discord snapped his eagle talon and spawned a boat on the now new neon river, and got in. He started to float away down the river towards the town hall again, hearing his discorded civilian raging at the others. Today was a great day.
"Oh! That reminds me!" said Discord as he snapped his eagle talon again and made the sun start to go up and down at its own chaotic leisure. "Much Better!"
Discord continued to sail down the river in his boat even though there was no wind and his boat was a canoe and not a sail boat. Discord started to pick up random citizens that he caught running through the street with his telekinesis and hauling them over to his canoe, only to hypnotize them as well. One, he switched the mind of a bird with the human, so he ran around trying to take flight only to land flat on his face. The bird could now talk and the man inside was confused at being trapped in a bird's body, the man being trapped in the bird's body that is. Discord laughed a hearty laugh and spawned a cotton candy cloud above him that poured chocolate milk down his throat.
"This is certainly the most fun that I've had ever since Celestia got me to reform myself." mumbled Discord with a wet throat.
After many more acts of chaos, Discord arrived back at the town hall, where he docked his canoe and shrunk himself down in size so he could walk around normally inside of the town hall. Discord strolled up the stairs and back into the mayor's office where the mayor was frantically phoning people. The big gaping hole from earlier was still there.
"Why won't anyone believe me?!" yelled the mayor as he slammed the phone down and folded his head in his arms on the table.
"Maybe it's because you aren't making any sense, but what fun is there in making sense anyway?" said Discord.
The mayor's head shot up and took in Discord's form. "Who tha heck are you?!"
"I am Discord, the spirit of chaos and disharmony, and what exactly are you doing in my office?"
"Are you the one that's been causing my town to go crazy?! A spirit of chaos sounds like the kind of thing!"
"Your town? This is my town, now get out of my office!" snapped Discord as he snapped his eagle talon again causing the mayor to turn as flat as a piece of paper. Wind blew in from outside and carried the mayor out, who was freaking out the entire way. The mayor floated gracefully down over a building and was never seen again. "Haha! This is my town now, and I am it's king." yelled Discord out the wall to the town as he danced a little jig and phased through the ceiling.
Discord snapped his eagle talon and spawned his red and black throne so he could lounge and observe all of his chaos on the roof of the town hall. Some winged pigs flew by, and then some winged horse-thingies. Oh yes, today was certainly a great day. He could not tell what the time was anymore, because the sun kept spazzing out, so it was best to just not think about it and relax.
Billy and Skeeter were locked in the backroom of the country gas and snack shop, hiding from the evil food that now controlled the store. They have been locked up in here for a long time just trying to keep out of sight of those things. Lucky for them, Billy owned a small table with a deck of cards to play visitors with. They were doing nothing but sitting there and playing card games the whole time. Once Skeeter got all of the food off of Billy's back by threatening to eat them with a fork, he dragged him into the back room and let fate take them to playing cards.
"Hey BIlly, how much longer do we have ta sit here and wait? You do realize that I could just threaten to eat them again if they try to stop us from leaving."
"I don't think that would work a second time."
"Of course it would, I'll show you. I'm tired of playing war anyway." said Skeeter and got out of his chair and walked to the door leading into the store. Skeeter slowly turned the door knob and lightly pushed the door open. The door cracked and squeaked with a painful crunch on the side. When Skeeter got the door open, he pulled his hat off of his head, ready to swat any vicious food with, and walked out.
"Alright now, I don't want any trouble, so keep off of me and I won't eat ya." said Skeeter as he slowly crept through the store. The food was nowhere to be seen. Every now and then Skeeter heard a slimly slithering sound come from across the store, and what sounded like a bag of chips hopping around behind the counter. Skeeter continued to walk out, and was only five feet from the door when he called out for Billy. "Hey Billy! It's all clear, so let us git out!".
It was then that a rope of taffy in the shape of a lasso emerged from behind the counter and wrapped itself around Skeeter, beginning to pull him in. Skeeter dropped his hat. "Billy help!"
"I told ya it wouldn't work ya twit!" replied Billy as he grabbed a broom and rushed at the taffy. Before he could reach the taffy, red licorice shot out from underneath a rack and tripped Billy. Many twinkies from earlier emerged from the shadows and started to attack Billy's face again with their creamy goodness. Skeeter was fully dragged over to the counter and was hogtied by the animate taffy, forced to watch Billy get covered in a pile of food.
"Billy, you have to eat them Billy! It's the only way!"
Billy managed to struggle his voice past the barrage of food, "I-can't-eat all-of them!!"
"You have to try! I can't do it cause ahm trapped!"
Billy summoned up all of his hunger that was building up, and prepared to feast upon the food. He reached his hand up and snagged some twinkies with his rough meaty hands and shoved them into his mouth. He chewed and chewed, frosting pouring and melding with his beard. He snagged more out of the air and ate them as well as grabbing the chips pummeling him and devouring them. It wasn't long before the food gave up and retreated back to their hiding spots, ready for another ambush. Billy hopped up as quickly as he could and ran over to the taffy constricting Skeeter. With a war cry, he swooped his head down and snagged the taffy in his mouth, and took a huge bits, drool coming down his chin and beard.
Skeeter unraveled the dead taffy and hopped off of the table and scooped up Billy as if he was nothing. "Good job!" he yelled as he ran for the door and slammed it open. Skeeter ran over to a gas pump and set his friend down on the concrete. "Finally, we're away from that madness! They can keep my hat, all I wanted was to be free of them.". His dark hair now hung loosely and flowed over his eyebrows.
"we should get ta town and tell the sheriff about this mess." suggested billy.
"Alright let's go.". And so they did, observing the neon colored road as another weird thing and flying horses. Skeeter saw them as his horses and groaned.
"I am never goin' to eat another Twinkie for as long as ah live..."
The sheriff kept on running through the confusing town, trying to find some sense in the mess. Every person he ran up to was either too afraid to help him figure this out or too mean to even want to. Some of the mean ones would just tell him:
"Get a real job!" or "Why do you care? Nobody even likes you anyway."
The sheriff, Shaw, always noticed that the mean ones were grey, and they turned greyer and greyer with each insult they slung. Some of the grey ones were so grey they looked like someone out of an old black and white film. They were even vandalizing property, or whatever else counted as property in this mess. In this case they were damaging a car by stomping on it, and Shaw was not about to just stand by and let it happen. "Hey you two! You are under arrest for the destruction of private property!" he yelled while approaching the two men and preparing handcuffs.
"Come get us ya old bat!" yelled the taller of the two men. And Shaw did.
He jumped up on the car and started to fist fight with the discorded hooligans. Due to his training in the law, he had an advantage. The smaller of the hooligans tried to kick him in the groin with a lazy kick, but Shaw grabbed it and flipped him off of the car. He hit the sidewalk below with a loud thump before getting up and running away. The taller of the two hooligans threw a punch that knocked Shaw straight in the nose and he went tumbling backwards into the river street below. He emerged and crawled out and looked over his clothes. He looked like a clown again, all multicolored and radiant. It took him forever to shower off the makeup before, but now at least it didn't stick like makeup.
The tall hooligan took this chance to leap on Shaw and pin him to the ground. "Time to show you how worthless you are!" he hissed while raising a fist. Before the hooligan could give Shaw a bloody nose, a rock hit him square in the face and he went tumbling back into the car. Shaw lifted his torso to look back, and saw Billy and Skeeter in a fighting stance.
"You mess with him, you mess with us!" said Billy with a growl and spat on the sidewalk. The hooligan just stood up and jumped into the river where it carried him to another part of town. Skeeter walked over and helped Shaw up with his arm.
"Thanks boys, that scoundrel almost had me there!"
"No problem Shaw, we all look out for our kind." said Skeeter. "So what's going on here exactly? Why is everything all wacko?"
"I don't know. I'm tryin' to figure out what in tarnation is happening."
"Even the sun is moving on it's own!" said Billy.
"What made yall want ta come out here anyway?" asked Shaw.
"My gas station and food store was overrun by all of the food because they came to life and attacked us!" said Billy.
"I'd believe it." said Shaw. "But we still don't know what the heck is going on."
It was then that they heard a small scream in the distance, and it got closer and closer and closer until it was right above them. "aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!
"What in the sam heck is that?!" wondered Shaw. It was then that the mayor in his paper-flat form floated down and landed on the sidewalk with a *Swish*. Billy, Skeeter, and Shaw all looked down at him and he looked up at them.
"Ummm, boys. I think I know what the problem is."
Shaw, Billy, Skeeter, and the mayor all locked themselves up in a small pub and shaded the windows so nothing would see them inside. After escaping flying monkeys, flying snakes, giant bees, and almost falling down through a sewer hole, it was all calm and peaceful. The mayor was explaining the encounter that he had with the spirit of chaos and disharmony from earlier named Discord while he was lying flat on the pub's pool table. It was a bewildering sight indeed.
"I once read in an article a year ago about these boys who called themselves the Ghostbusters, stopped the entire city of New-York from being destroyed by ghosts. And while I am no expert, I can gladly say that we have the same problem here. Now I suggest that we find their phone number and ring em up so they can turn my town back to normal!"
"Where are we gonna get their number from?" asked Shaw while peering out of the shades to observe the chaos outside.
"Well, we have ta find a phonebook er somethin'. Maybe there's a computer in here so we can search it." said the mayor.
"Sir, I have hardly ever used a computer mah whole life." said Shaw.
"Well, I suggest you do it if and learn if there's one in here. I know I can't use one in mah condition." said the mayor.
"Alright I'll take a look." said Shaw as he tore his eyes from the interesting sights outside and went to go look for a computer.
"Hey mayor, what exactly did this here spirit of chaos look like?" asked Billy.
"He looked like a big snake dragon with a deer antler and a ram's horn. He had yellow eyes and a big white fang hanging out of his mouth."
"I think we saw him too out at my store. He made the food come to life and attack us!" said Billy.
"Well then there's our ghost. If the Ghost Busters come then all of this chaos should stop if they get rid of that beast." said the mayor.
"Hey there's a computer back here!" yelled Shaw from some backroom.
"OK! NOW SEARCH THAT NUMBER AND LETS END THIS ALREADY!" yelled the mayor.
The town was looking smashing to Discord. Absolutely smashing. The town was becoming more chaotic by the minute due to his professional and personal chaotic décor choices. "I wonder if there's anything outside of this town that would be worth turning into my playground as well."
Discord was now wondering if anypony was wondering where he was back in Equestria. Of course nopony wondered, nopony even cared about him! He wiped a tear from his eyes with the white fur at the end of his tail and sat depressed. It didn't matter anyway, once Discord's new plan was set in motion, everypony will have wished that they treated him better.
What's Discord's plan you ask? Glad you asked! Discord plans to use all of the chaos power that he acquires here on earth from making the humans miserable and use all of it once he returns to Equestria to overpower the princess and finally bring more chaos back to Equestria! Equestria was always more fun to rule over, and returning there was as easy as one-two-three! Discord knows that the only way to return was to go back to the spawn point, and Discord knew that area by heart.
Discord still needs time to prepare for his grand scheme, so let's leave him be.
"Good, now that we finally got Google up, let's go ahead and search for the Ghost Busters phone number." said the mayor.
Shaw started to type, but then he stopped. "How do you spell Ghost?"
"G-H-O-S-T." said the Mayor.
Shaw typed again, but then stopped. "How do you spell Busters"
"Uhhhh geez, B-U-S-T-E-R-S." spelled the mayor.
Shaw clicked the enter button then clicked on the first link. It took him to the Ghost Busters website. It was designed with their logo on the top left corner. Shaw scrolled through, scanning each are for a phone number, and then he spotted it.
555-2368.
"OK I found it!"
Skeeter picked up the phone next to the computer and prepared to dial.
"It's 555-2368, and it says that the area code is 646."
"Skeeter punched in the number and clicked call. He set the phone to speaker so everyone could hear.
*Ring Ring*
*Ring Ring*
*Ring Ring*
"Ghost Busters HQ, how may we help you today?" asked a feminine voice over the phone.
"Um hi, we need tha professional Ghost Busters to come out and catch a ghost fer us. We're a little bit far away, but we have a really big problem that needs fixing very fast!" said the Mayor while sprawled out on the floor."
"Where are you exactly?"
"We're in Smalltown, Nevada." said the mayor. "The sun is moving on its own and there's flying horses and the spirit is turning my city into chaos."
"That is pretty far, and here in New York the sun is going absolutely crazy too! I haven't seen anything else weird though. I'll dispatch them as soon as I can. Bye!" said the secretary before hanging up.
Everyone in the pub took a moment of silence before the mayor spoke up. "Well boys, now we play the waiting game. I don't know about any of you, but I will be glad to have my town back."
"Will any of the chaos out there even stop once the ghost is captured?" asked Billy.
"I hope so, but we can't just leave that powerful ghost or spirit whatever it is. So this is our best shot."
"Well guys, I'm starving. I think that we should look for some food in this pub. I know you aren't hungry Billy, but maybe Shaw would like some food. The mayor could look like he could use some food too. Whaddya say skinny boy?" said Skeeter.
"Shut up Skeeter, you know that ghost did this to me!" snapped the mayor.
"Jeez calm down sir. Maybe they have some steak in the fridge or something. I am starved!" said Skeeter as he walked out with his spurs clicking. Shaw followed suit and they went to the fridge to eat.
Discord was watching a game. Not just any game, his game. Discord gave ten randomly selected humans wings, some discorded and some not, and made them fight in the air with boxing gloves. Of course they weren't normal boxing gloves, they had to be 50 times heavier than any normal ones. One discorded individual was throwing tough punches which were fueled by his anger towards everyone else. He swung his fists like a wrecking ball and knocked teeth out of the other country folk. You could say that he was floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.
Discord sat in silence and watched the fray while sipping from another glass of chocolate milk. Some overweight competitors duked it out, struggling to keep in the air and eventually fell into a trash can below that Discord filled with smelly garbage. The trash can persuaded the fighters not to lose, and they were confined to only the space above the giant trash can so they would not cheat. Mazes are fun, but sometimes fights to the end were sometimes much better.
Discord shifted from a sitting position to a laying position across the arms of his throne, and relished in all of the chaos energy that was flowing into his mana pool. 'soon' he thought as he took another swig from his glass. Now he actually had a chance to build up his power without any meddling elements of harmony in the way. He would surely lose Fluttershy's friendship, but he was always only loyal to chaos.
Peter Venkman sat in the drivers seat of the well known Ecto-1 stepping on the gas pedal for what felt like days now. Every now and then the Ghost Busters team would pile out for a break to eat or stretch, but that was rare for if this strange spirit was truly as powerful as Janine described, then they needed to get there fast. "Hey Egon, you have that ghost trap ready yet?".
"Yes, the muon trap is activated and ready for usage." said Egon.
"How about our proton packs?"
"Armed and ready to hit ghosts, or in this case, spirits with." replied Egon.
"That doesn't sound like a spirit to me. Spirit's can't reality warp like give horses wings or some crap like that!" said Winston Zeddemore.
"Ya, I know it sounds pretty fishy, but that's what we're here for." said Peter.
"Reality warping is just matter manipulation, so it's entirely possible that a powerful ghost or spirit can do that." said Egon. Everything was silent while Peter drove them through the harsh desert of Nevada. They drove by a billboard that read, "Smalltown: 75 miles.
Egon sat tampering with the ghost catching equipment while eating several candy bars, Ray Stantz sat in the back playing a video game and waiting for Egon to need help with the equipment, Winston sat shotgun smoking a cigar looking bored out of his mind. He was the usual driver for the Ecto-1, but this time he sat thinking about god-knows-what. Peter continued to drive through the boring desert, the sun lowering and raising on its own as if it was on some intermittent timer.
"That's pretty powerful matter-manipulation skills that spirit has if it's able to rotate the sun around the earth! It even fried some other planets in the process! Or so I heard on the news."
"True. We must be dealing with something very powerful." said Egon.
"Are you two sure our normal equipment is going to work on something this powerful?" asked Ray.
"Of course, we just have to immobilize its source of power, or anything it may use to channel its power. Perhaps one of the townspeople saw it use its powers." said Egon.
"Ah." said Peter. "Anyone want some music?"
"Hell yeah." said Winston in a bored voice. Peter turned on the radio that turned to Michael Jackson's thriller. It just set the mood for the ghost busting team. "Oh yes." said Winston.
The mayor, Shaw, Billy, and Skeeter all sat in the pub for about a day. It was all tiring and boring as there was nothing to do. They did not have any problems except for those grey hoodlums trying to break in at one point, but giving up as soon as they started due to the barricade at the door. They did really nothing for the past day and a half except sleep and occasionally play pool. All in all it was a boring experience
"The Ghostbusters should be here soon, it has already been a little over a day. Let's go wait at Billy's store for them." proposed the mayor.
"But my food is there!" exclaimed Billy.
"They wont give us any trouble or you can just eat them again. Besides, we will be waiting on the road."
Billy gave a humph. "Fine, let's go. But ahm not eatin em again!". Shaw picked up the mayor and slung him over his shoulder, leaving with Billy and Skeeter out of the front door. When they emerged, it wasn't looking too good. The air was foggy and misty, and the air burned their noses and throats as if they were breathing in a mild hot sauce.
"Oh god that burns!" moaned Shaw as he clamped his nose and wiped tears out of his eyes.
"Hurry, we have to keep going!" demanded the mayor through choked breaths. Skeeter and Billy followed the sheriff along the sidewalks. The Sheriff knew the quickest way out of the town due to his long years of service. They encountered nobody along the way to the store. No animals, no nothing. It was eerily quiet as they walked alongside the neon road that bubbled every now and then for unknown reasons. The silence was soon broken by a roar in the distance that made the team speed up.
They eventually came across a man hopping around and trying to flap like a bird, which was weird, and graffiti Aztec warriors fighting on the wall in a 2D battle like in street fighter. Eventually the ground started to wave like the waves in an ocean or a waking lake. Falling over was common, and it hurt whenever they fell over on the ground. It felt like there was no gravity and that they were trapped in a space station.
They soon wobbled their way out of the wake zone and made it through to the road leading out of the town. Things started to look like they were all drawn with chalk. "God I feel like ahm on drugs er somethin'!" said Skeeter as they continued to stumble to freedom out of the town. They kept walking in what they thought was the way out of town until the chalk graphics disappeared and they arrived on the road in realistic graphics again. The sun went up into the sky and they could see again.
"Are we out of that mad house now?" asked Shaw in desperation.
"Sure seems like it. Let's get the heck out of here." said Skeeter. All of their brains were hurting, and the sun lowering itself again didn't help much. They continued their seemingly endless trek all the way to the gas station in a hobble, nearly falling down once they reached the gas pumps.
"Uh, I don't know how much more of this I can take." said Shaw drawing in a large breath afterwards. "I have a sore throat from all of that mustard gas crap!"
"All we have to do now is wait...again." said the mayor frustrated. The sun lowered itself for the millionth time and was replaced by the moon which was now made of cheese.
The ghost busting team was jamming out to some KFDM. WInston was now driving and banging his head to the music while Egon and Ray in the back tried to shut out the music and continue to do their things. Peter did not care and sat in shotgun now. They were only about a mile from town now, and they could see a small gas station in the distance with a horse ranch on the right with no horses whatsoever. The road was now starting to transform from black asphalt to a strange liquid river of neon colors.
Winston shut off the radio and marveled at the sight. "Well the road is an obvious improvement over the dusty town.". He looked in the distance to the town which was covered in pink clouds and was disorienting to look at for some reason.
Hey Egon, you got those EMF meters up now? I want to take a measurement of the town once we reach it."
"Operational." said Egon.
They kept driving until they arrived at the gas station, where they were waved down by some locals on the side of the "road". They pulled over and drove in, where the locals approached them. The Ghost Busters got out of the Ecto-1 and touched down on the ground.
"It's about time ya'll got here, we were all suffering in that mad house!" said the mayor on Shaw's shoulder.
"Ummm, what happened to you exactly?" asked Peter.
"I was turned into a pancake by that damn spirit that took over mah town. He's at the center of the town at the town hall doin' crazy things. Let's go git em and be done with this."
"Alright, but we're going to continue on foot. I don't think that driving the car through that town right now is such a good idea. Besides, we all need to stretch after so much driving." said Egon. The team of now eight walked to the back of the Ecto-1 and opened the door. The Ghost Busters pulled out and armed their proton packs and prepared the Muon trap for use.
"That's a lot of fancy stuff you got there." pointed out Skeeter.
"The best for bagging and tagging ghosts." said Ray.
Peter stretched his legs while the others got ready to go. Then the sun went down, which did not seem to faze anyone due to how frequently it happened. The Ghost Busters finished preparing, and started to head toward the town. "So what exactly does this spirit look like?" asked Winston.
"It's a mix of a bunch of different animals and it has yellow eyes with red in them. It has a big fang hanging out of its mouth too." said the mayor. "How much is this going to cost anyway?"
"About $5000 or more depending on how difficult the job is." said Peter.
"That's fine by me. It's better than hanging around in this place any longer."
The small team of eight continued to walk towards the town, the sun still going up and down. Once they reached the edge of the town, the chalky graphics started up again, disorienting everyone and making Skeeter puke up spaghetti. "What in tarnation?!" yelled Skeeter in a choking voice once he finished. There was a perfect plate of spaghetti just sitting there with realistic graphics in a chalky setting.
"This is pretty trippy. It feels like the 70s again." said Peter remembering the good old hippie days.". Amongst all of the confusion, Egon pulled out his own EMF meter and scanned. The EMF meter was just spazzing out and would not land on any number. Either it was completely useless or totally helpful.
"My EMF meter is not picking up any number. This place is a chaotic catastrophe!" said Egon.
"C'mon lets go, I can't take this much longer!" groaned the mayor in pain. They heeded his pleas and continued further into the town, spotting the civilians who were grey and arguing amongst each other on a sidewalk while a cotton candy cloud poured viscous chocolate milk onto them. They did not seem to care but kept arguing while being drenched. The atmoshphere was foggy and pink, but the fog did not burn anymore, and whenever anyone breathed in it tasted like sugar.
"Why are they so grey and fighting so much?" asked Ray.
"It must be the spirit. The greyer they are, the more violent they become, so try and avoid them as much as possible." recommended Shaw as he continued to walk. They hopped on a floating donut in the river and continued with that to avoid anymore strange encounters.
"This place is just like candy land!" exclaimed Ray as he drooled due to his love for sweets. They continued to float down the colorful stream, spotting chocolate dolphins hopping out of the water only to turn into a plane and fly somewhere else. Egon was eating the frosting off of the donut and relishing in its pinkness and sprinkles.
"In all my years of studying parapsychology, I have never heard of anything on this scale." said Egon who was looking around at all of the bizarre activity.
"Tell me about it. It really bring me back to my childhood imaginations." said Peter.
They continued to float down the river until they got to the town hall, and they sky above it was turning into a scary vortex of green and pink. What they saw sitting on a throne at the edge of the building was none other than the spirit Discord himself observing a fighting game between the civilians. He did not seem not notice them, so they could get him by surprise, that was until the mayor decided to open his mouth and blow their cover.
"Hey ugly! I want my city back!" yelled the mayor upward and caught Discord's attention. Discord glared down at them and he peered at the mayor and laughed while pointing. "Ahahah! You face looks so funny when it's flat hahaha!".
"That's enough spirit! prepare for your dethroning!" yelled out Peter.
"Hold on now, I wan't to play a game first." said Discord while he snapped his finger. The ground below rose into out of the ground and broke the town hall in the process of raising. Everyone was raised up, and were now trapped on the circular arena. The civilians from earlier flew away to do their own things while the piece of earth was still floating.
Discord appeared in a flash of white light in front of them. "The game is simple, each of you charge me from across the arena and I'll charge you from the other side of the arena. Whoever is the first to knock me off wins and gets me to leave."
Everyone knew that it would just be safer if Discord were to get trapped so he would never be a problem again, but everyone just went with his game to try and end this.
"I'll go first." volunteered Winston. He kept on his gear on as he did not trust Discord with it.
"GO!" yelled Discord and started running. Winston charged at Discord and collided with him, only to find his head spinning and him falling off of the other side into a giant trash can below. It smelled horrid, but the word horrid was actually a compliment. It was foul to say the least. Winston sat in the trash holding his nose and waiting for the others to lose too. It wasn't possible that any of them would win.
Egon came rolling off and screaming, then Peter and Ray flew off as if they were Sparta kicked off. The mayor of the town floated down embarrassingly, then all three of the redneck locals like they all united together to overpower Discord, but to no avail. The piece of earth disappeared, and so did the trash can, making everyone fall onto a mattress below. Discord glided down and stood next to the mattress laughing at them.
"Ohohoh that was good! Even though all of you failed miserably, it was all fun! Good game good game." said Discord merrily.
"I've had enough of this." said Winston as he armed his proton pack and shot the iridescent electricity out of it at Discord's chest. It struck his chest and he was trapped there no matter how hard he tried to teleport. Before Discord could snap his eagle talon to escape, Peter shot his own proton pack at Discord's eagle claw and Egon shot his proton pack at Discord's lion paw. They then lifted him up into the air and watched him wriggle around helplessly.
"Okay, this isn't very funny anymore!" shouted Discord. He then started to shoot barbs out of his mouth to strike everyone with, but they moved out of the way quickly and was quickly subdued when Ray shot his proton pack at Discord's head.
"Activate the ghost trap somebody!" yelled Egon.
"How!!" shouted Skeeter over the cacophony of noise.
"Press the big red button labeled activate!!" replied Egon.
Skeeter ran over to the trap and pressed the button, and the trap sprung open shooting a glowing white light up towards the pink sky. All of the Ghost Busters moved him toward the trap, where they heard him try to scream something. "MHMMHMHMHMHMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMMM!" he moaned. No one listened to him as he was slowly lowered to the entrance of the trap and set inside with a crackle of lightning, then silence.
Before anyone else could talk again there was a large explosion of white light that spread out from the muon trap and covered the entire town. Everyone screamed "Aaaaaaaaah!" as the white light continued to disperse and blocked out everyone's vision. When the light cleared and everything was mostly quiet again, the small team of eight opened their eyes and took in the sights. The town was the same as it was before Discord had arrived, and the few people in the area were slowly getting up off of the ground, their skin no longer grey as if they were colored in by a professional artist.
The Ghost Busters took in the sight again and let out big breaths of their own. "Honestly, I liked the town better when the spirit was in charge." said Peter.
The mayor got up, glad to not be flat anymore, and walked over to the muon trap. He kicked it hard, which surprisingly didn't open it again and let Discord out. "I am glad things are boring and dusty again. That was hell!".
"Well, we hope that this small town has the money to pay us with. It was all actually kind of fun so we'll just charge you $3000. Right guys?" said Ray.
"No Ray, we drove straight for a day and a half, so I want $6000!" said Peter who was crippled in stiffness from the drive.
"Take whatever you boys want! I'm just glad to be rid of that thing once and for all! I also noticed that the sun is actually staying up this time, and that my sense of time has been completely scrambled, so I am going to go back to my office." The mayor walked towards the town hall building, where the wall from earlier was patched up. "Do whatever you want with the home wrecker, just don't bring him back here!" shouted out the mayor as he walked back into the town hall.
"I am going back to my store so I can finally relax." said Billy as he started to hobble off.
"I am going to my ranch so I can calm the horses." said Skeeter before finally leaving.
"And we're taking this bugger back to out HQ so we can finally release him back to where he belongs." said Peter as they carried the smoking muon trap away towards the Ecto-1. There was chocolate milk leaking out of the muon trap as it was being hauled away.
Discord was fluttering around inside of the muon trap, colliding with nonexistent walls in a setting of complete darkness. "Hello. Is anyone there?!" yelled out Discord. No response came, so Discord sat there motionless. He snapped his eagle talon together to spawn a lounging chair, but to his surprise, it did not work. "What it this?!" demanded Discord as he continued to snap with no outcome. Discord continued to sit in thin air, or whatever flooring the inside of this trap had. He slammed the ground with his lion paw angrily. "I was so close to conquering Equestria once again too! Oh well, I guess this is better than being trapped in stone because I can at least move around at my own will. As soon as I get out of this prison I am heading straight back to Equestria, no funny plans involved!".
"Except bring some ghosts back with me. I know where to find some where I'm going. Everypony loves ghosts."