• Published 20th Mar 2014
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The Bottom Shelf - JakeAndDollars



Just a place to display our little odds and ends, anything that never really went anywhere but might be worth a laugh.

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Dragons Should Always Pour the Milk

Dragons Should Always Pour the Milk.

Twilight Sparkle yawned loudly as she sat up in her bed, reluctantly pushing the warm sheets aside before sliding down to the floor and heading into the bathroom in order to begin her morning routine. After a hot shower and a quick brushing she was ready to start the day, to face whatever challenges it might bring.

Trotting down the stairs and into the kitchen the little purple unicorn spotted her number one assistant already hard at work on his morning chores, “Good morning Spike, I see you’re in a hurry to get to Rarity’s today,” Twilight said with a giggle, smiling when the drake began to stutter with a crimson blush spreading over his cheeks, nearly dropping his mop.

Turning his back to his antagonist Spike dunked the mop in a bucket of soapy water, buying a few precious seconds in order to compose himself. “Well sure I am, Rarity asked me to help her out with a new design today,” he replied, valiantly attempting to conceal the quavering tone in his voice. “What kind of friend would I be if I didn’t come through for another friend?”

Rolling her eyes as she turned toward the cupboards twilight couldn’t help smiling another knowing smile, perhaps he would come back with another lock of Rarity’s mane for that shrine he thought nopony knew about. “Right, well I certainly wouldn’t want to be responsible for holding you up. When you’re done there you can go ahead and go, I’ll just whip myself up something easy for breakfast.”

Spike immediately looked up from what he was doing, the grip on his mop handle tightening as he watched her pull a cabinet open and levitate down a bowl, “Are, are you sure Twi?” The little dragon asked nervously, taking an uncertain step towards her. “I could just throw something together for you, be real quick. What would you like? A salad, pancakes?”

Twilight set her acquired bowl on the table and headed to the fridge, shaking her head as she pulled out a bottle of milk. “Spike, it’s just a bowl of cereal,” she said with a huff of annoyance, selecting a box of bran off of a shelf. “What’s the worst that could happen?”



Five minutes later…




“Sir! Obvious says this was the cause of the fire, and that the warranty most likely won’t cover the damages,” stated a rather gangly stallion one would likely not peg as a firefighter. The pony held out the still smoking remains of a two slot toaster for the Chief to inspect.

After a quick glance to confirm the deductions the Chief nodded in agreement, “So it would seem, tell the Captain I said thanks for the good work, same as always,” and with that the few remaining fire ponies packed up their gear and headed for the station, their brief cameo over.




Twilight Sparkle sat on the side of the road with her soggy bowl of cereal, watching numbly as the firefighters hopped into their fire wagon and drove away, only just barely aware as her friends showed up one by one and gathered around her.

“So… What exactly happened?” Rainbow Dash eventually ventured to ask, seeing as the others were too busy staring at something besides her.

Spike sighed in obvious exasperation as he produced a broom and dustpan from, somewhere, and headed toward the library. “Twilight tried to cook, spilled milk on the toaster…” He stated dryly, realizing his day with Rarity had been pushed aside. “Man I’m getting tired of these fics.”

“It was just cereal, just, cereal,” Twilight mumbled quietly to herself, never noticing a disgruntled Rainbow Dash passing five bits to Applejack.

Author's Note:

I’m back bitches! Kindah… Give me a few more weeks… until then I’ll have a few more of these little morsels for you.

Anyone up for poker? ~Dollars.

We're not dead, yet... -Jake

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