The Bottom Shelf

by JakeAndDollars

Not How That Joke Works

Not How That Joke Works

“What do you suppose it could be, Flitter?” Cloud Chaser asked the other mare as they came to a stop, the pair halting to inspect the strange object blocking their path.

“I don’t know, Chase,” Flitter replied, rubbing a hoof under her chin as she gave the mysterious thing a closer look. She was certain it had not been there yesterday.

“Stop,” Cloud Chaser said aloud as she read the obvious sign sitting atop the metal pole, glancing around at other ponies as they passed by. “Stop what? We weren’t doing anything, just walking by, and why is this thing planted right in the middle of the road?”

“I don’t know,” Flitter grumbled, circling the pole twice before coming back to stand in front of it. She leaned back and stared at the white letters emblazoned across the bright red background. “It looks kinda important; I think we should do what it says.”

Cloud Chaser looked around again, a sigh escaping her as she shook her head. “But what it says doesn’t make sense!” She grumbled, ears splaying off to the side in frustration.

“Oh, what fun is there in making sense?” Asked a cheerful voice from behind the pair, the familiar tone causing the perplexed mares to turn around.

“Hello, Lyra,” Flitter said jovially, waving to the Unicorn as she trotted up to see what was holding their interest.

“Good morning, Lyra,” Cloud Chaser added, finding it little surprise to see Bon Bon following close behind her. The other mare already having spotted the source of commotion and was giving it a wary stare.

“And just what do we have here?” The candy maker asked aloud, more to herself than to anypony else as she moved up to give the sign her own inspection.

“No idea,” Flitter admitted, sitting on her haunches and shrugging her wings. “But, whoever put it here should have known better than to stick it right in the middle of the road like this,” she said with a growl.

“I’ll say, I nearly walked into it muzzle first,” Cloud Chaser added hotly, giving the offending piece of metal a pointed glare.

“Do you think somepony should do something about it?” Asked Carrot Top, easing her wagon to a stop as she came up behind the slowly growing group. “Like, tell the mayor or pull it up, or, I don’t know, something.”

“Yeah, push the lame thing over or something,” Vinyl yelled from further back, leaning out from behind the parked wagon for a better view, “seriously, yer blocking the road!?”

“Vinyl,” Octavia tisked, peeking out from around the other side of the wagon, “do not be rude, I’m sure if you just give them a moment they will move the sign and we will be on our way.”

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” called a light brown stallion as he maneuvered through the crowd, coming to a stop near the sign, a small cylindrical device chirping away madly in his outstretched hoof, “Just as I thought,” he muttered as a light on the end of the tool began to blink erratically. “There’s wibbly stuff all about.”

“What do you mean by that, Doctor?” Lyra asked curiously, leaning in to study the peculiar device still whirring away in the stallion’s grasp.

“Doctor, who?” Bon Bon asked quizzically from beside her, friend. She leaned in closer as well, not realizing how she had just helped perpetuate one of the longest running cliché jokes out there. Nonetheless, none of the other ponies seemed to notice.

Whatever the good doctors response however, it was drowned out by the arrival of even more of the pastel populous of Ponyville. Each individual resident inevitably and predictably following their fellows to see what the growing ruckus was about.

Soon their numbers grew beyond the capacity of the humble little street, spilling out the far end and forming a disorganized line clear into the outskirts of the modest hamlet, in mere minutes the stomping grumbling equines had come to a standstill as far back as the train station. Eventually the growing line reached the tracks, ponies standing to either side and even in between the rails, their cries of displeasure wafting up towards the heavens…

/ / / / / / / / / / / /

High above the cacophony of shouting and stomping hooves, two regal beings sat on a cloud, settling a friendly wager. Well, one regal, and one very bored spirit of disharmony that the regal one would just as gladly have stoned than sit there a minute longer. And she didn’t mean with the Elements of Harmony either…

“See,” Discord said sagely, elbowing a disgruntled Celestia in the ribs as the commotion below continued to spread. “I told you I could get this town to stop in their tracks, pay up sunshine.”

Celestia ground her teeth, her face twitching comically as she considered just how much power it would take to send the harbinger of chaos to the sun, “Dissscoord,” she growled, her hooves coming up to rub at her temples. “You can’t, that’s not, how that works!”

Author's Note:

Well, I almost managed to post something more substantial for Christmas…
~Dollars