• Published 20th Mar 2014
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The Bottom Shelf - JakeAndDollars



Just a place to display our little odds and ends, anything that never really went anywhere but might be worth a laugh.

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A Letter From a Concerned Citizen

A Letter from a Concerned Citizen

Dear princess Celestia, this is your loyal subject Applejack, Element ‘O honesty and friend of Twilight Sparkle. Now, I don’t mean to cause alarm or nothin’ of the like, but to me this feels like something yah might want to know about. Seeing as it involves several branches of your government.

Now, in no way am I trying to point hooves or sully names, but I do want this brought to light as soon as possible. Better late than never, I guess. Firstly, is the abysmal state of our country’s border patrol. As you may have gathered from Twi’s letter yesterday, I am not writing from my home in Ponyville, but from the home of my cousin Braeburn out in Appleloosa.

I was out early this morning, taking a walk along the river separating Equestria from Mexicolt, when I saw a Minotaur extremist fall into the rushing waters from the other side, attempting to cross. Illegally. He was struggling to stay afloat due to all the weapons and bombs he was carrying, looked awfully heavy to me.

Along with him was a Changeling, also attempting to cross. Illegally. Alas, he too was struggling to keep above the water, weighed down as he was by the large satchel of drugs strapped to his back. Now, I am certainly no pony to judge another, pony. But…

Wanting to be a responsible citizen and do the right thing, knowing full well that if they did not receive aid that they would surely drown, I immediately informed the proper authorities. Being the local sheriff’s office, as well as homeland security.

Which is what brings me to my next point of concern. The postal service. It is now well past four in the evening, both have drowned and neither authority has responded. Forgive me if I seem frazzled your majesty, but I’m beginning to think I wasted two stamps…

Sincerely yours, Applejack.


P.S. On a positive note, looks like I’ll be able to fill that ‘special’ order for you now…

Author's Note:

This is why you people should not push me for updates… ~Dollars.


Holy shit. Mexicolt? I almost died. -Jake

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