• Published 20th Mar 2014
  • 623 Views, 19 Comments

The Bottom Shelf - JakeAndDollars



Just a place to display our little odds and ends, anything that never really went anywhere but might be worth a laugh.

  • ...
0
 19
 623

Taste The Irony

Taste The Irony

Yeah, not gonna lie, I had a weird day this week. It must have affected me more than I realized if my brain spat out something like this… just, don’t take it too seriously, for your sake. Caution advised for touchy subjects and a bit of language.

Person to send the mob after ~Dollars.

Seriously, send them now!



Life, what a fickle bitch. I mean, it’s just weird how things can change so dramatically from a nice happy day, to the worst kind of hell one can imagine.

There I was sitting at the bar staring at my drink, my hoof occasionally sliding over to the glass, only to move away again. I had just reached for it for the tenth time when a large, boisterous Griffon with a troublemaker’s demeanor stepped up next to me, grabbed up my drink, and gulped it down in one swig.

With a resounding clink he slammed the glass back down on the table. "Well, whatcha gonna do about it?" He demanded, leaning in menacingly. His face lost some of its malice as I burst into tears, my blubbering clearly not the response he desired.

"Come on, man," the Griffon sighed. He leaned in closer as his voice dropped to a whisper. "I didn't think you'd CRY. I can't stand to see a grown pony crying," he slowly dropped himself into the seat next to mine. His eyes darted around for a moment, worried the other patrons might take notice of the commotion.

"This is the worst day of my life," I bawled out between sobs. "I'm a complete failure. I was late to a super important meeting and my boss fired me. When I went to the parking lot, I found my wagon had been stolen and I don't have any insurance. I left my wallet in the cab I took home. I found my mare in bed with the gardener and then my dog bit me," I sniffled a bit, realizing how much better just telling another living being was making me feel. Maybe, maybe it wasn’t so bad after all?

"So, I came to this bar to work up the courage to put an end to it all, I bought a drink, I dropped a capsule in and sat here watching the poison dissolve; then you, you jackass, showed up and drank the whole thing! But enough about me, how's your day going?"

……..

THUD…

………


“Oh hey, I found my wallet…”

Author's Note:

Authors notes. I don’t… I don’t even… I’ll try to make the next one less… me…
~Dollars.

I laughed most at the "dog bit me" part.
-Jake

Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!
Join our Patreon to remove these adverts!