• Published 15th Mar 2014
  • 1,445 Views, 29 Comments

Shimmering Night - PinkiePieFox

To everypony, the night sky is a beautiful sight to behold. On one night however, Star Shadow saw only sorrow in the sky.

  • ...

Chapter 6 - The Broken Party

Author's Note:

This chapter has been only 1/3d edited, If you find any mustakes please feel free to point them out and I'll make sure to edit them. Thank you!


Some of it has been edited by me thanks to a good friend Sollace's help! Thanks Sollace!

Thanks again to Sollace for pointing out some errors that I have went though and corrected. :pinkiegrin:

Two Scoops just laughed, “I guess you’re right, and sure, what’s a few bits between friends. How much do ya need?”

“Enough for a ticket to Canterlot. After that, I think I have the bits to make it from there.” Star looked at his friend, who was giving him a strange look. “What?”

“I’ve never known you for one to just pick up and leave, and you're going to Canterlot? Are you trying to find yourself or something?” Scoops asked

Star Shadow just laughed and shook his head. “Lets just say there is a very important mare I have to see.”

Before Star Shadow even got the words out of his mouth, Two Scoops wrapped his arm over his shoulder, pulling him close and peaking out in a loud voice. “Well, why didn’t you say so? Geez man honestly, for awhile there I thought you were batting for the other team.” Scoops laughed, and Star could feel nothing but embarrassment.

“S-scoops… Just….” He sighed. “I’ve got to go.”

“Oh, Of course!” Scoops nodded lowering his leg from the back of Star's neck and hoofing over a pouch of bits.

Star Shadow took the pouch and looked at Scoops. “You pack around this many bits with you wherever you go?”

Scoops looked at him shifting his head to the side. “Don't you?”

Star Shadow sighed and thought to himself. You know, you think spending most of your life living with somepony you would learn everything about them, but nope! As Star finished his thought he said allowed. “Thanks Scoops, I’ll be sure to pay you back…”

“Nah man don’t worry about it I’ve got more bits than I know what to do with, I’m related to Berry, from Jim & Berries ice cream so, yeah no need.” Scoops said smiling. “Well have fun on your trip man!”

Two Scoops left Star Shadow standing there in the middle of the square, completely stunned. “Jim & Berries? I reiterate! You live most of your life with somepony and you think you know at least something about them!” It took a bit for the shock to wear off but Star Shadow shook his head and pocketed the bitbag that he obtained form Scoops. Within the last ten minutes he had went from believing Two Scoops to be a perverted slob, though admittedly good friend to quite possibly the the second richest pony in town. Star closes his eyes and shook his head as two white unicorn stallions grouped up with two pegasi and started trotting in the direction of the Ice Cream shop.

Star Shadow went home grabbing up a sports bag that he once used in his college days. Oh yes he went to college, Celestia's school for Gifted unicorns, yes indeed but he only made it for half a year. He took some clothing and stuffed it into the bag, he would not have bothered but he was going to Canterlot, just about everypony there wore some sort of garb. He also grabbed his toothbrush, some soap and a few other odds and ends before making a quick dandelion sandwich and heading out the door. The entire time took around twenty minutes to complete.

And he was off down the streets of ponyville headed to the trainstation. He did not see anything strange to him, and neither did any other pony for that matter, but the fact remained that there was a few more white ponies then there should have been near the train stations entrance. He trotted inside to the ticket booth and got a ticket to Canterlot.

“The Canterlot train will be arriving at Six sharp.” The ticket mare said to Star.

He give his thanks and walked away, he found a clock nearby that stated it was five fifty, ten minutes and he would be on a train to Canterlot. Or so he thought, infact it was not until seven PM when the train to Canterlot finely rolled into the station. By this time Star Shadow had passed out and only just barely managed to get on the train. And once the doors closed he let out a sigh of relief and reaching down to adjust his bag when he found it not there… He looked up as the train was pulling away looking at his book bag sitting on the bench he had been sitting at before he rushed to get to the train. He facehooved letting out a groan and collapsing back into a nearby seat.

He was lucky he held onto his ticket instead of putting it in his bag, and he still had a few bits left that he got from Scoops. “Well, I’ll just have to make do I guess.” he said to himself resenting this day he was having.

After the train personnel had left him to himself he decided to take a nap the rest of the way to canterlot, and considering the day he was having he was long overdue for one.

Back in Ponyville Two Scoops had thrown a party, and everypony was invited, including the bubbly pink party mare Pinkie Pie! Wubs provided by the famous DJ-Pon3 and by nine o’clock the party was in full swing. The ponies where dancing to the wubs, jumping and bumping into one another, the food tables had been devoured completely, not a single oat cookie remained and the punch was indeed spiked! But it did not matter everypony was well over the age requirements for such things.

A few couples where even making out in Star Shadows bed, Scoops made a mental note to clean Star's room before starting anywhere else… He made another note to use bleach, just in case.

Scoops made his way to the DJ booth on the way other ponies were congratulating him on such an awesome party he had thrown, upon reaching the booth he walked up to DJ-Pon3 and she nodded to him.

He took up the mic as the song ended. “MARES AND GENTLECOLTS!!!! ARE WE HAVING FUN!” The crowd of ponies all cheered, though the crowd there were some rather burly stallions among the guests. “YEAH! And you know what day it is tomorrow? The day of Love Birds? HEARTS AND HOOVES DAY!!!!!” There was another round of cheering and hoof stomping on the floor. “Luna's moon is bright tonight! Her stars are shining bright around the moon! Let the night of love continue. Let's get this party roaring once more and LET THE MAGIC FLOW FRE--"

But he did not get to finish his speech as he was tacked by a large white earth pony slamming him to the floor and pinning him down. There were then pegasi who burst through the windows and earth ponies and unicorns bursting in through the front and back doors.

“You are all surrounded! Please remain calm and nopony will be harmed! On order of the crown you are all to be taken into custody!” A large Unicorn in golden armor stated loudly a Thestral stepping up next to him as guards filed into the room hoof cuffing the ponies in the apartment.

Two Scoops grunted as the earth pony pinned him down to the floor. “What the buck man… Ahhh… That hurts…” Scoops said as the large white pony on top of him forces Scoops head to the floor.

“You are under arrest, whatever you say or do can be used against you in the court of law.” Ect ect.

Scoops just rolled his eyes and didn’t even struggle. He let out a huff through his nose as he watched Princess Twilight enter the apartment door several long minutes later. She looked around spotting Pinkie Pie all shackled sitting on the floor with her mane limply hanging to the floor as if she had done something wrong.

Twilight pointed at Pinkie Pie and said somethings to the guards and he spoke back but she put her hoof down literally slamming it into the floor and the guard shifted back from her and nodded before pointing at Pinkie Pie. two other guards went over and unshackled Pinkie Pie and she walked up to Twilight and wrapped her hooves around her sobbing into her shoulder.

Scoops could not help but feel sorry for Pinkie Pie… What has she, or for that matter anypony here done to deserve any of this? Scoops thought to himself as he was hauled up and carried away within one of the unicorn guards magic aura.

Back on the Train to Canterlot Star Shadow sits for a long time, not even a book to read considering he inconvently forgotten his bag back at the Ponyville station, he decided to lay on his seat just feeling the relaxing feeling of the train moving along rattling slightly but after a while lulling him gently off into sleep.

Everything was dark, slowly the sound of the train was a distant memory to him as he drifted deeper into the darkness. Slowly small lights begin to appear floating forwards and around him. The stars shimmering in the darkness. Some of the stars where yellow in color but a great deal many of them were a bright shining white.

The Moon was out among the stars tonight. Star Shadow seemed to just drift along though the void of stars, he slowed to a stop spotting a pink star nearby. He looked at it and thought about entering it like he had done the night before but the star slowly fades from pink and back into a yellow and then white star before his very eyes.

The star shines brighter and from within a large dark figure emerges from it. The Princess of the Night appears, folding her wings back down to her sides as she looks out at the stars. As she does her eyes fall upon me. She pulls back her wings flaring out.

-POV Luna-

“Such a tiring night.” Luna thought to herself as she flew up into the moon from the ponies dream she had just helped and emerging back into the Dreamscape realm. She took a deep breath through her nose and folded her wings next to her sides as she turned her head looking at the stars. As she gazed out among the stars her eyes fall upon something, no not a something a SOMEPONY? Lunas body shivers suddenly sending chills through her body her wings flare out on reflex in fear as no pony is suppose to be in the Dreamscape but her. But here was a-a brightly glowing white pony.

Luna only takes a second to clear her mind once more stepping forwards. “Who art thou!” She shouts loudly at the pony before her. “What does thou want? Why is thou in my Dreamscape?!”

The glowing pony before her cringes back from the princess bowing its head. “I-i’m sorry.” The glowing pony stammered out. “I dont know what a Dreamscape is. This is always the dream I have had, since I was very small.”

Luna was taken aback by this, She lowered her wings once more to her sides looking at the pony. “You did not answer my other questions, who are thee? What is thine name?”

The glowing pony raises its head looking at the princess. “I am Star Shadow, and--” There is another flow of light, a bright flash and the glowing pony known as Star Shadow was gone, leaving Luna alone within the stars, the stars that have gotten fewer, and fewer in just a few moments within the Dreamscape as they spoke.

Star Shadow woke with a start as the train rattled along the tracks. The sun was just now peeking up over the horizon when he woke in a cold sweet. Star sit up placing his hooves on his face and breathed to calm himself. “What had I just dreamed? Was that real too?”

He looks out of the trains window out into the distance, as the train rounded a bend the sun shined upon the mountain showing a pristine view of Canterlot hanging high upon the mountain within all its glory. “Don’t worry Princess, I’m coming, and I’ll explain what I can when I get there.”

As this thought rolled though Star Shadow's mind the sun raised a little higher and the train blowed its whistle shooting steam into the air as they neared their destination.

Comments ( 8 )

Yay! That's a really fun chapter. :twilightsheepish:

...yes indeed but he...

Indeed. After that other story I just can't help but laugh when I see that word.

cookie remained and the punch was indeed spiked!

The image of spike's tail sticking out of the punch bowl comes to mind. How come no one's thought of that one yet? Or possibly also that there is a pony by the name Punch...

On to the chapter. The major thing I see is that you're switching between tenses again. You seem to have also missed some commas here and there. I've put together a list of some typos you can fix but I'll send that in a PM instead. :twilightsmile:


4603762 Thank you, and I appear to do that a lot XD... I can't seam to not do it. *sighs*

Thanks also for sending a PM I'll be sure to look at it, review it and change edits you present to me.

Hey PinkiePieFox, the only reason I made this account is to comment this:
Please come back to this fanfic! You shouldn't care about all the hate your getting, I love this! I'm sure there are lots more people who don't have accounts who also love this story! It has a lot of potential and you shouldn't let hate get the better of you. I hope you come back soon, I would love that and I'm sure many others would love that too! ;)

4603779 will you update this soon? Pls

8131744 On this story? Probably not... It was my first story and has a lot wrong with it... Also I have not done a lot of writing in the past year... Which is sad but I just have not done it... :fluttercry: I'm so very sorry...

8131896 oh:fluttercry:ok I really liked this one

8131932 Thank you. It does mean a lot to me that you liked the story. :twilightsmile: If you liked this one I have a few others that are also good reads... I hope to get the motivation back to write some more someday... I just lost myself somewhere along the lines...:ajsleepy:

8131975 it's just I've been having bad luck lately with good stories 129 stories now with 100+ weeks with out updates for the last two weeks

130 now with this one

Login or register to comment