try to balance the likes and dislikes

4084800 I don't know, Normandy looks really nice
upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/6/66/NormandySupply_edit.jpg

4084800 Thank you so much for actually commenting. Yeah, I didn't really put any thought into this, I didn't take anything seriously, I just wanted to get to the steamy bits. I guess I felt that it was good for something I did in a couple nights, but obviously not.

I'll take it more seriously from now on and try to re-make it something worth reading. Sorry to waste your time.

It's not the worst concept for a story, let alone a clop fic. That being said, you could work on the pacing a little more. Maybe provide some introspection besides the descriptions. How does Fluttershy feel during the confrontation in the street, or when she's getting intimate with Twilight? I think a good clop story isn't just juicy physical details, but emotional reactions, too.

FINALLY I find something that is 100% my fetish. Even if it's a bit hurried, and I am not very keen on the use of sexual assault as a plot device, I still quite enjoyed the growth bits.

Do keep up the good work, sir, and I look forward to seeing where you take this.

Not the best, but I'd say it's much better than my first try at a similar story.

Aaaaaand it's dead.

This is a great first part! I can't wait for the next one! I love anthro, and FMG. This is fetish fuel for me.