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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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This chapter was magnificent, Just magnificent.
Another great read, so much character detail, so much world building information. Go Braeburn!
Excilent work as always Schorl, please keep it up.
Wow... just, wow!
I don't think I ever expected to read anything like this in an official Fall of Equestria fic, and I'm not entirely sure what to think about it. I mean here I was all ready to see BigMac struggle to keep himself under control in the face of have to bear witness to the corruption/humiliation of so many of his kin all tat once, and then *WHAM* he's suddenly in the middle of what might be the most genuinely optimistic place left in Equestria, even if it is an optimism that comes with a whole lot of compromises to maintain the façade. It can't be easy for those mares who pretend to be red-collars to put themselves out for such overwhelming public use, even if they do take it in shifts and so have some limited measure of choice in their degradation. Likewise the notion of the black-collars taking it in turn to act as designated disciplinary example.
Still, the fact that anything like this can exist at this scale is just amazing!
It leaves me genuinely torn between hoping this is something that could maybe last -vs- the expectation that it may only be doomed to eminent failure. Especially with Gunne around; he might be fine helping BigMac get a fake red-collar for AJ, but I'm afraid of how he might respond if he catches wind of this. I'm perhaps even more afraid for if an overly enthusiastic BigMac ends up the one to accidently let the information slip.
...
Other than that it was also nifty to see what become of both Appaloosa and the Buffalo after the fall. Perhaps doubly for me personally, as I'd recently created this account because I'd been toying with an FoE style story set in this region, making it all the more interesting to see what the official canon versions are like. I was sort of surprised to see Little Strongheart show up, as given her smaller build I was unsure if she might be implicitly too young to appear in an M-rated anthro story on this site.
Got to give you a big thank you for this chapter. Bruised Apples is the only story in the Fall Universe I can bear to read, and even then I do a lot of cringing. This one drew me in and I really enjoyed the surprise twist
This gives me hope for the future chapters. Big Mac and the Apple mares going through the motions, creating a safe haven under the noses of the Caribou is a wonderful concept.
I wonder how many black Collars might get into the sex more simply because they know they are pulling a scam under the noses of their conquers.
It also pops into my head that Big Mac, and Braeburn, might need help from similar stallions to run their expanded operations. So on top of buying as many apple mares as they can, I would think they'd be on the look out for stallions who are on the verge of getting themselves switched.
Did wonder if how far Braeburn's fakery extends. Does he use any of the mares in public to establish his credentials?
I just wonder how far you can take this story line before you run into what seems to be the canon mandate that the Caribou can't be defeated.
A bit of hope for Fiddle Faddle I think. Because I think her names on that list. But will she still be a black collar when Big Mac gets home?
Braeburn, naturally.
Oh he's good.
Eh?
Wow, he's a ood actor.
Certain persuasion, what does he, OH, I get it.
(As many have said, this is a great chapter, this one moment of hope in a dark twisted world, it's like God Help The Outcasts from Hunchback of Notre Dame in Written form, we see that things are bad, but to quote the Blue Lantern Oath "When all seems lost in the War Of Light, look to the stars, for Hope burns bright." I applaud you Miss Tourmaline, brava, brava.)
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Not so sure about burning bright, but at least this chapter proves hope hasn't burned out.
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I was trying to be poetic.
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So was I, albeit in more of a bleak parody sense.
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Fair enough.
Wow, even in FoE, Braeburn still loves that horse penis.
A very good chapter, well done!
You know, while I was reading this chapter, I just couldn't help it when I was reading up to Braeburn's parts, to be reminded of Calvin Candie, the slave/plantation owner from Django Unchained. Luckily, I was proven wrong. Very good twist. M. Night Shyamalalalan would be proud.
Keep up the good work.
im in awe of your work, well done again schorl
i havent been online in a while, so i havent been able to catch up with your work, but this is truly a work of art
i cant wait to read the next chapter you put out, like i always do
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"Work of art" might be a bit much. I am just a humble fanfic writer who realizes that she might have a bunch of good ideas, but might not be the best writer whn it comes down to it.
Finally got around to catchin up.
Is good so far.
However.
Depending on where you want to take the story, I think we should get a chapter on Applejack's raging internal environment.
Cause I am getting a feeling of resignation and acceptance from her that doesn't really fit Applejack or her actions.
Outwardly showing that is fine and I should be getting that feeling from what I have seen but I think we should get a good look at the continuous squall that is her mind at this point of pretending so you can establish it.
After she decided to go red we have mostly just been focusing on Big Mac's internal struggles.
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Well art compared to most things on the site.
I had been waiting until I could sit back and enjoy this new chapter in peace, and I'm glad I did. It's amazing how you can make each chapter so well structured, but you continue to do so. It's nothing short of impressive and inspiring.
I saw that twist coming, but you kept me guessing until the end. The lore presented in this chapter is beautiful in its creativity and execution. I had forgotten about those rune makers!
I hope your next chapter comes out sooner than later. You are the best writer this part of the fandom could ask for.
Edit: Omg you posted a new chapter already I can't wait to read it!!
Okay, here's something I don't get. It's generally accepted in the FoE cannon the the caribou, King Dainn in particular, have to power to brainwash both males and females of almost any race in nymphomaniacs who lose almost all their ability to relate to and feel empathy towards females. The origin of this seems to be the new "Crystal Cock", but many also believe that Dainn had a similiar power to begin with, and, like Sombra, the first people Dainn used his power on were his own, and that's how he rose to power in the first place. Only a few choice males and females (A particular pattern I see is those with love or respect for authority, like Rarity, Fluttershy, the Royal guards, or the Princess, are far more susceptible) can resist it. But the dialogue here suggest that people are aware of Dainn's corrupting power, which begs the question of why anyone, even if they're been forced to like things the way there are, could possible support Dainn taking away their free will. And if those immune know this, why do they think poorly of those who have submitted, knowing they literally had no choice? Long comment, but just something to think about. If I were you, I'd stick to Dainn's brainwashing being a well kept secret of Dainn alone. Thanks.
If he's forcing the same style of bondage equipment as the mares at Sweet Apple Acres is forced to use, then I sincerely doubt that.
That being said, it's a damn relief to to see Braeburn hasn't been affected and is working to help mares. This story really doesn't hold its punches, and this chapter was getting me pissed off more and more with the treatment, yet I suppose that means it's succeeding-here I want to be angry, not for bad writing but for the injustices in the story's world.
Glad to see Braeburn hasn’t turned. Makes you wonder how many more pretenders like Big Mac are out there trying to help the helpless mares.