Episode 1 – Beer
“No! Spike! You have to screw it into the tripod, like…”
The camera fell over, briefly dissolving the picture into static. Then a purple glow obscured the lens, and when it faded, the room was back to normal.
“Sorry, but you know I haven’t done this before, Twilight. Anyway, why in Equestria did you decide you wanted to do this tonight of all nights? Aren’t we supposed to be going to Gummy’s third birthday party?”
“We’ll go in a little while. When I’m ready. I don’t… I don’t really want to see Rainbow just yet, okay?”
Spike sighed. “Sure. Whatever.”
Twilight stepped into frame, wearing a painfully large smile. “Hello, friends! This is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic and Friendship, and I’d like to introduce you to my new video series, ‘Twilight Sparkle Investigates’. Today, we’re going to be learning all about beer!”
“You know this is a terrible idea, right?”
Twilight’s smile widened a little. “That voice you hear off camera is my faithful assistant Spike, who is helping me by filming this video. C’mere, Spike, and say hello to all the little colts and fillies at home!” Twilight’s eyes glinted in the over-bright lights of the library interior.
Spike edged into frame, doing his best to smile at the camera. “Hi, everypony.” He gave Twilight a quick glance and retreated back to anonymity.
Twilight muttered something under her breath, too low for the microphone to pick up. Then, she pitched her voice louder. “Okay, colts and fillies. What do you know about beer?” A brief pause, as if she expected a response. “Beer, as you may have heard, is made from grains like wheat and barley. It’s different from cider, like my friend Applejack makes, but it’s still really good sometimes. Especially when you’re mad at cider for kis—”
“Twilight…”
“Thank you, Spike. Yes. Beer is very good. And tonight, I’m going to be trying a few beers and letting you know what I think of them. We can enjoy them together!”
“I don’t think this is what Princess Celestia meant when she said you should engage with the ponies of Ponyville more.”
Twilight stepped out of frame for a moment, then returned with a small box. Although most of its contents were hidden from the camera, a number of thin bottlenecks protruded out of the box’s open top.
A purple aura surrounded one of the bottles and levitated it out of the box. It drifted closer to the camera, careful to leave Twilight unobstructed on the left side of the frame. “This first one is called Jose Marevos. It’s a wheat beer, with an alcohol content of…” The bottle levitated over to Twilight, and its cap flew off with a loud popping noise as she studied the label. “Thirteen percent—not bad! I heard about this particular variety last month when I was talking to Mister Davenport. He says this is his favorite. Let’s see how it tastes, shall we?”
The bottle levitated alongside Twilight as she paced over to a small table and seated herself. Then it floated to her lips and upended itself for approximately seven seconds, during which time a series of quiet, worried noises could be heard coming from off-camera. The bottle settled back to the table and Twilight grinned. “That really is good! I don’t know a whole lot about be— I mean… I’ll be learning with you, kids! But I think that one tastes excellent. Okay, why don’t we pause for a little bit and discuss how beer gets made.” The bottle floated up from the table once again, and Twilight’s eyes glimmered.
Thirty minutes later
“An’ then the wort ferments for a…” Twilight peered down at the book sitting open on the table. Her hoof wobbled back and forth over the page, never quite staying still. “For… a week? No, at least a week, up to a couple months. Then they send it out and bottle it!”
Another bottle, this one with a green label that the camera had never gotten a chance to properly observe, upended itself into Twilight’s mouth until it was empty. The bottle levitated over to the right side of the table where it joined four others, all of relatively small size, arranged in a precise formation like bowling pins. Another bottle floated out of the box—one of seven now remaining—and landed on the table in front of Twilight. “Ooh, Dos Equus! I’ve been waiting for this one to come up. I heard about this one from—”
Twilight looked off toward the ceiling of the library. After a few seconds, Spike coughed obtrusively.
“From… Applejack. My friend, Applejack. Yeah. She said it was really good.” Twilight stared at the bottle for a moment before letting her levitation lapse. This time, she picked it up between her hooves and gave it a long look. Then she tilted her head back and drained most of the bottle in one gulp.
“Twilight, I really don’t think you sh—”
“Aww hush, Spike. I can drink if I wanna. I’m old enough now, an’ I’m a princess!”
There was a brief silence, as Twilight stared at the table in front of her. She set down the bottle and ran one of her hooves across the rough wood.
“And you’re absolutely sure you want me to put this video up where everypony can see it?”
Twilight paused, as if trying to parse the question. Then she turned to glare off camera. “I said it’s for all the little colts and fillies, didn’ I? How’re they supposed to learn about beer if nobody’s there to teach ‘em?”
“And you’re absolutely sure little colts and fillies should be learning about beer?”
Twilight hiccuped.
The camera recorded a sigh, and then the image began to jostle from side to side.
“No! Spike! Stop it!” Twilight waved a hoof in the air, coming precariously close to knocking over the bottle of Dos Equus. “Stop it. Just… Just gimme a couple more minutes, okay?”
There was a little huff, but the camera stopped moving.
Twilight stared at the mostly-empty bottle in front of her. With great care, she lifted it to her mouth and finished it off. She set the now-empty bottle alongside the others she had finished. Then a purple glow surrounded the box and the remaining bottles, levitating them all out of frame.
“I do think colts and fillies should learn about beer,” she said. “Beer is part of the natural order of things. It’s been a tradition among earth ponies for…” Her eyes narrowed, and she rubbed a hoof against her temple. “For a long time. An’ it’s important to know about, too, ‘cause adult ponies drink it—sometimes because they like it, and sometimes… because they wanna not feel so…” Her voice trailed off.
Spike stepped into frame, momentarily blocking the camera’s view of the library interior. He walked to Twilight, sat down beside her, and rested his claw on one of her hooves.
Twilight turned to Spike. “Why’d she have to go an’… I mean, Applejack knew how I felt about Rainbow, didn’ she?”
Spike rubbed his claw across Twilight’s hoof, and after a moment, she closed her eyes and leaned into him, settling her chin on top of his head. Spike tried to hug her in return, though the way Twilight was leaning against him made the motion awkward.
The camera recorded two minutes of silence, and very little motion. Twilight’s eyes never opened, though a few small tears leaked from their corners.
Eventually, Spike released his embrace and pulled away. “We’re not going to Gummy’s birthday party, are we?”
Twilight blushed. “…no.”
“And you know it’s just gonna cause a whole lot of trouble if I post this, right? You’re a princess now. If ponies see this, they’re gonna talk, and a lot of them won’t have nice things to say.”
Twilight sighed. “I know. You’re right. Maybe this was a bad idea, Spike. Maybe doing educational videos is…” Again, she trailed off.
“So I can go turn off the camera, and then you can go to bed, and we can just forget tonight ever happened?”
“Yeah, I guess.”
Spike stood and walked toward the camera, looking a little smug.
“But… don’t delete the video, okay? Maybe someday I’ll find a use for it.”
The image blinked off.
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ah, a delicious slice of life with some great "show, don't tell".
4043652
I suspect this is going to wind up with rather a lot of "show, don't tell", since I'm trying to write outside perspective and essentially narrate what the camera sees. I tried this once before a number of years ago (and was quite pleased with the results), but it's definitely a little bit of a struggle trying to avoid character perspective.
Anyway, glad you enjoyed this first bit. Hopefully it'll continue to please in the weeks ahead!
Well, this is an intriguing premise. Definitely looking forward to seeing where you go with this, both in the topics covered and what leaks through.
I remember this and it's still fucking hilarious!
... when's the next drunk writing session?
It'll be interesting seeing where this goes tonally. You've got a Woody Allen sort of tragicomic vibe going on here so far.
Well, this looks promising.
Oooh, loving it so far.
Off to a promising start with the think-less-write-more thing. Booze is sorely overused as a plot device but you've managed to avoid the major pitfalls so far. Keep it up!
I started reading and was hit by an immediate sense of deja-vous. Have I read this before? What's going on? I don't recall prereading it anything. I'm pretty sure I'd have remembered.
Then we hit the beer and realization dawned.
Hee. Well, it made me giggle. I do think "tragicomic" is about right.
Silly Twilight. Didn't she learn her Friendship Lesson? You drink with friends, not with a video camera. There's less evidence of any crimes committed during the drinking that way.
Huh, that took a turn I wasn't expecting. I had forgotten that I didn't end up having enough time to stick around for the entire drunk writing session.
4043715
Well, I'll say that next week's episode will be about "Wings" and involve a certain rainbow-maned guest star!
4043745
My current plan is to do some drunk writing from BABSCon, probably Friday night. If I keep on schedule and follow my outline, that should correspond with a very appropriate chapter for additional drunkenness.
4043863
Figuring out how to market this was a bit tough. It's certainly not comic here, and I don't expect it to be very comic overall (though it's bound to be somewhat comic, just because of the format and lack of character perspective). But it's hard to write up a story summary that doesn't give it at least a bit of a comic feel. Ghost pointed out some issues with selling it this way, but bookplayer suggested that it really did work the way it was being presented.
...okay, it got pre-read a little. But just for impressions, not for actual editing.
4043884
I hope you enjoy it!
4044086
Hopefully this will continue to be a thing!
4044109
I suppose it probably is. I haven't actually read too many stories that use it—one or two? But I can see it being a thing. I'm expecting I'll probably incorporate it one more time, assuming I do my planned BABSCon drunk writing session, but I don't think there's much call for it in this story beyond that.
4044245
Beer as an aid for memory retention! This is a new thing!
4044418
That seems to be the consensus. Guess I know what mood I'm shooting for, moving forward!
4045048
Do you want drunk writing company? That sounds worthy of setting aside an evening. As an added bonus, I'm a total lightweight!
Poor Twilight...
Applejack, Y U do dis.
4043863 I think said it best.
4044572
Or at least it feels that way. Maybe next week will be better?
Twilight doesn't have a lot of friends tonight...
4044851
Well, in the original writing I got too drunk to continue just a little bit past the thirty-minute break. The resolution is pretty much all new material (as short as it is), and was written after I put my episode arc together.
4045100
I find this idea most agreeable! I'm gonna have a pretty good room, too, I think—solo queen bed—so if you want to share the space, we can have a party. Maybe invite Ben over, too, if he wants.
4045101
Well, AJ's an honest sort of pony. If she likes somepony, she's liable to say so, instead of waiting around for Twilight to work up the nerve to act. That doesn't help Twilight much, though.
Wow. I just experienced a lot of good potential for this story.
Keep writing, I want to know what happens next.
Twilight Sparkle starts a YouTube channel. I'm Spike in this story. As in, I have literally played this role with a friend. I like the anonymity of the back of the camera.
This is indeed pretty much what you wrote that night, plus a little end-y bit. I dunno what's low(er) quality about this! You can apparently write compelling prose in your sleep. (Or drunken stupor)
Anyway, when you posted the blog announcing this, I was gonna comment with an analogy comparing this to doing a lot of quick sketches to improve drawing, but it was an analogy that didn't really need to get made, as the topics are similar enough anyway.
So... What did I come here to say? Well, this was good, and if it means more frequent posting from you then
, and I read all of Twi's dialogue in the voice of a tachikoma.
Dammit, am I missing awesomeness? Which Friday are we talking about here?
4044109
Nonsense! Beer makes the pony civilization to go 'round! (Also cider, applejack, whiskey, wine, various brandies, and the imported Zebrican rum Twilight uses for her fiddly unicorn drinks with fancy straws, piles of fruit, little paper umbrellas and maybe a magical sparkler or two in them. Dry ice fog is optional.)
I..
hope there's a few Phoenix Wright or AAI references in the next chapter or two. I was kind of disappointed after initially seeing that wonderful cover art which rather implies it (not to mention the title). I dunno if the story format would work with it, but eh..
4045836
Well, all I'm at liberty to say right now is that I know two of the next three episodes will involve co-stars (and new character tags). Oh, and there will definitely be some Pinkie—but not quite yet.
4046257
Friday refers to BABSCon Friday, which might be the part you're missing. I'm expecting to do a bit more drinking on 18 April, from my room at
stately Wayne manorthe Hyatt Regency SFO. Apparently with 4045100 in tow; so there's likely to be a signal boost for his story "Social Lubricant" around the same time. Which I should go read myself before I actually say I'll boost it, but Horizon's a pretty good writer.4046414
Why does it seem like everything I write lately devolves into a catalog of alcoholic drinks?
No, seriously. They're here, they're in my blog posts, they're in my bloody course reviews, they're everywhere!
4046836
Umm... wow. That was unintentional. Even now, I don't particularly get the reference. I've got the first Phoenix Wright game (finally), and I have to admit it's pretty awesome. The first few all came out while I was living in Japan, I think, but I was more focused on the Ouendan! craze. But I'm a late comer to AAI, and I don't actually know how the cover image references them. It's just a screengrab from S04E03, "Castle Mane-ia", about seven seconds in. Though I can see how the title might prompt that idea in some people's minds.
Unfortunately, I don't think it's terribly likely I'll have/find any AAI-type references in this story. It could happen—I tend to suck up input and let it infect my creative process—but there's certainly not a natural fit for it in the 20 episodes I've got sketched out. Sorry to disappoint!
Interesting start. So from work a read here, is this going to be a video recording about the ups and downs about the life of Princess Twilight while trying to teach young minds or her trying to teach young minds while going though the up and downs of her life?
I hope it's the later. Because this chapter was both educational and touching. Good to know that Spike always got Twilight's back and while he goes along with her not so good idea's, he still knows when to put them to a stop.
Good Job. Keep up the good work!
4046951
(though now that I look up screenshots, I realize that the vertical angle is somewhat lower than I thought)
Really? A character behind a desk/bar viewed at a 25-degree angle, emoting exaggeratedly? I dunno why I'd think that was a PW reference
FWIW fuandon has a great series of Let's Plays of the entire PW series and AAI too.
The AAI thing was more because of the combination of the cover art and 'investigates'. Saying there is specifically a reference would be going too far.
very nice, quite funny too
or is it wishful thinking on my part? 
i noticed the romance tag, does that indicate future Splight
Please have her drunk post that. And I can't believe that AJ stole Dashie from Twilight. Twilight needs to get her mare back!
4048397
No SpiLight! That'd be like momXson incest. Not the cool kinda wincest like Pony Siblings [Twily, or RariBelle, or even ScootaDash], and what have you. That and Twi just admited she liked mares.
4048965
canon says otherwise
but whatever, as long as Spike gets some love i'm a happy camper
4049059
Hey he's not biologically his mother, but she did raise him (and that's just the type of arguement a little kid would have). Or at least had a hoof in his upbrining + did hatch him.
But yeah he needs to be with Rares, Sweetie Belle, or Apple Bloom [my favorite ships for him, since their baby draconies are 10,000% adorable. SpiLight has always sat uneasily in my gut. Don't know why, it's probably the same reason that the ending of Sliders even 13 years later urks me to no end. That and they aren't as cute a couple as Rares, Sweets or AB.]
I want more of this. All I need to say.
4049144
the closest thing in a family sense she could have been to him would be a sister like figure, as Twi was a child at the time and i don't know about you but i'm pretty sure you don't give a new born baby to a child to raise, personally i prefer Fausts original take on things, i.e Celestia raised Spike, and once he was old enough assigned him to be Twilights assistant
as for who Spike should be with in this fic and out of the ponies to chooses from, my vote would be Sweetie Belle, the cuteness factor is off the charts
4050754
Meh! Differnece of head canon. After all Ponies according to Faust mature faster than humans mentally, and we see fillies and colts holding down work (well part time, when they aren't in school). But yeah I agree that Sweetie Belle and him would be off the charts adorable.
4051323
i'd still prefer Splight at the end of the day
and since only Twilight and Spike are listed characters to this fic there may be hope for my fix yet
4051336
Well AJ and Dashie weren't listed, but still pop up. And no, no SpiLight. Spike has higher standards. And I can't point this out enough Twilight is into mares. Especially in this fic. So that'd kill that right there. I doubt we'll see Spike get any action as the main part of the fic, and if we do it'll be with an unnamed character. Like with Twilight [after all if you want to have a romance be secret / a suprise] then it'd be best to not list the character.
I'm hoping for Derpy, Cloud Kicker, Trixie, Pinkie Pie, or one of the other Princesses [for Twilight] and Rarity or Sweetie Belle with Spike when / if we see him [in an interlude / what have you] talking about Twilight's poor reaction to getting vagblocked by AJ.
4047539
Right now I have it plotted out as more the former than the latter. Six of the nineteen episodes I've planned out have very standard Twilight-being-educational topics, but the other thirteen tie into her experiences more closely. My intention is to frame everything educationally, even so—that is the point of the series to Twilight—but it seems like I'm getting a good amount of feedback like yours, so I may try to re-balance that moving forward.
It seems like sort of similar situation to my first story here, "The Amazingly Awesome Adventures of Tank the Tortoise (by R. Dash)". In that story, my goal was to run parallel threads of Rainbow Dash learning to write and the story she was trying to tell, where I was intentionally making mistakes (like poor characterization, weak story set-up) and trying to ease off of them over time. In the end, though, many readers seemed to like Rainbow Dash's story better than the story about Rainbow Dash (and that's perhaps understandable, because I tried to write the RD stuff with manic pacing, since it seemed fitting for her). Getting a chance to re-balance early, if it seems like it will fit with the story I want to tell, is good.
4049413
Glad that you're enjoying it! Like I said a little further down in the comments, there should be more on Thursday—this time with Twilight talking about wings with a certain rainbow-maned pegasus.
4051704 , 4051336
(I always like when people have conversations in the comments on my stories!)
Current absence of character tags doesn't mean those characters won't have a rather large role to play. I'm expecting to add at least three, about one every couple weeks right now as Twilight brings other ponies in to do videos with her.
Also, there will be shipping, but I'm a little hesitant to tag it or discuss it early, because either (1) I tag it with relationships that may not survive the series and bring on board a bunch of people who will get mad at me when those ships sink, or (2) I give away the ending of the arc I've got planned out, without letting people discover it for themselves. That's probably all I've got to say on the matter, at least for now.
4051714
W007! I can't wait to see what you do, both what sinks and what stay's afloat [shipwise], and it's smart keeping tags a secret till they pop up. It'll make it more juicy that way.
4051704
1/
only in passing
2/
you are not the author so
ic.pics.livejournal.com/thehefner/1156523/29029/29029_original.jpg
if the author wants Splight then we get Splight
3/
there is such a thing as bisexuality you know?
but regardless lets us agree to disagree and let the good author decide on how things should roll, i'd rather not spam their review section with an argument
4051725
One last thing:
25.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lknnfw4VAi1qj5x6fo1_500.jpg
And: There's a thing such as homosexuality, and hetrosexuality to.
That out of the way. I agree let's agree to disagree, and see how the story unfolds.
We-he-hell, I'll be paying attention to this!
This was great. This is probably the best and most in character I've read of "pony gets drunk". Funny, cute and in character.
Shocking swerve at the end though, I did not expect such a serious bit, I thought the hints at the start was more of "damn, I got drunk and kissed someone" and less "I'm actually broken-hearted." Still, this is so good that I'll definitely keep an eye on it.
Have a like and happy writing
4051714 I don't get something. She's sampling beer? Why is she chugging the whole bottle in a few seconds? When is she supposed to be 'tasting' the beer? There's many books on alcohol tasting and I'm sure none of the say 'CHUG IT!' That's something I'd expect from a frat party, not a serious tasting session. In fact, I've seen wine tasters and they don't even swallow the wine samples they try *spit!* It seems a bit out of character for Twilight to act this way. But it's amusing.