Episode 3 – Proper Library Management
“Hello, friends! This is Twilight Sparkle, Princess of Magic and Friendship, and I’d like to welcome you back to my new video series, ‘Twilight Sparkle Investigates’. Today, we’re going to learn about something very important to me—proper library management.”
The light of the setting sun cut through the library’s windows, leaving wide stripes of gold across the floor and many of the bookshelves. Twilight sat beside a low table that held a pile of neatly stacked hard-bound books. Other piles of books sat on the floor around the table and behind Twilight.
“Most of you probably know that, aside from being one of Equestria’s princesses, I’m also in charge of the Ponyville municipal library. There are thousands of books here, on almost any subject you can imagine. The library is open to everypony, so please feel free to stop by when you have time. The only thing I like better than reading a good book is being able to share it with my friends.”
A purple glow clouded the image for a moment as the picture zoomed in on Twilight and the stack of books.
“Ah, sorry everypony. I asked Spike if he’d operate the camera, but he said Rarity had already asked him to help her hunt for a new batch of gems. I don’t quite have the hang of this camera thing yet. Anyway, books! A library is only as good as the books—”
“I can help out with the camera!”
“Aaaugh!” Twilight’s eyes shot open wide and she gave a strangled yell, falling over backward into one of the piles of books.
Pinkie Pie trotted into frame, pausing to smile at the camera and wave one hoof.
“Pinkie! What are you—” Twilight cut off, sitting back up and levitating the books behind her back into an orderly stack. “I mean… when did you get here? I thought I was alone after Spike left for Rarity’s.”
“Of course you were alone. But it’s no fun being alone, which is why I’m here!”
Twilight blinked twice. “That… Nevermind. Okay, well, do you know how to use a video camera?”
“Nope! But I’ll bet you have a book on it!”
“I… actually don’t know if I do. I’ve got a book on making video diaries that’s been a lot of help: 101 Tips to Make your Vlogs Explode. Though it never really defines what a ‘vlog’ is, and it keeps talking about making numbered lists and having dynamic titles. Other than that I really like it, but it doesn’t mention anything about how to operate a camera. Spike said he’d take care of that, but now he keeps running off whenever I tell him it’s time to make a new video.”
“So how do I use it?” Pinkie stuck her face right up to the camera lens, trying to peer inside.
“Well, I don’t know if you really… I mean, it’s got a lot of little fiddly bits. Spike has claws, so they aren’t a problem, and I’ve got unicorn magic, but I don’t know how easy it’ll be to operate with hoov—”
Pinkie moved out of frame, and a moment later the image zoomed in tight on Twilight.
“Don’t be silly, silly! They sell these things to anypony, right? So anypony’s got to be able to use them!”
The image zoomed out again, and pixellated into a slow fade to black.
“I… uh… Wait, what are you doing?”
The black re-pixellated and faded back to the scene in the library.
“Ooh, this is easy!”
Twilight’s mouth opened slowly, and her voice dropped two octaves. “Hey. Pinkie. Why. Don’t. You. Come. Over. Here. And. Help. Me. Role. Play. Some. Pony. Checking. Out. A. Book?”
“Sure, that sounds fun too!”
A moment later, Twilight began moving normally again. Pinkie bounced over to the table and took a seat across from Twilight, who lifted a hoof to her chest for a moment, took a deep breath, and then let it out slowly. “Okay. Hello, Pinkie! Thanks for stopping by the library today. Is there a book I can help you find?”
“Nope!”
Twilight sighed. “Please, Pinkie, we’re supposed to be role-playing. I want all the little colts and fillies to get some idea of how the library works.”
“But what if somepony doesn’t want a book?”
“Well, then why are they coming to the libr—!” Another deep breath. “Okay, let’s try something different. Is there something you’ve tried doing lately that you’d like to know more about?”
“I dunno, Twilight. That’s a pretty generic question.” Twilight opened her mouth to respond, but Pinkie cut her off. “I have been working on a new banana bread recipe, though, and I can’t seem to get the ratio of chocolate chips and cherries quite right. Does that count?”
“Perfect!” Twilight clapped her hooves together and stood, walking out of frame. “But I thought everypony loved your banana bread. Why are you trying out a new recipe?”
“Because that’s how you get better, silly!” Pinkie turned to grin at the camera. “Controlled experimentation. Generating and testing hypotheses. I thought you’d know that better than anypony, Twilight!”
“Yeah, but—” A series of muffled thumps sounded from off-camera. “—that’s science, not baking.”
Pinkie cocked her head to the side. “What’s the difference?”
Twilight stepped back into frame, levitating a small pile of books over to Pinkie. “Well, first of all, you need to have a procedure in place for—”
“Aren’t you supposed to tell me about the books I’m gonna check out?”
“Oh, right. Right. Okay, so this first one is Mulia Mild’s Mastering the Art of Baking.
Pinkie took the first book off the stack and began skimming through it. “I remember her. She was a really good cook!”
“The next one is by Sweet Success: Cooking by Hoof. I think somepony told me it has a lot of good ideas about mixing tastes.”
“Yup! That’s what I’ve always said about it!” Pinkie picked up the next book and gave it a cursory look.
“Oh, are you the one who told me that?”
“Probably!”
“Um. Well, the last one I hadn’t seen before. I guess maybe it’s a new arrival that Spike shelved without telling me? It’s called The Single Pony’s Guide to Cakes, Casseroles—”
“—Canapes, Croissants, and Crumpets by Lovers Knot!? I didn’t think any of those survived, what with the fire and the earthquake, and everything else that happened!”
“Yeah, that’s... Wait, the fire? And... what?”
“You didn’t hear about…? But it’s one of the biggest stories in baking! Lovers Knot was one of the most famous cooks of her time; she worked for all of the best restaurants in Canterlot at one time or another, and toward the end of her life she decided she ought to write a book about all the things she’d learned. But she died right after finishing—she was almost ninety by that point—and the publisher wound up with the only copy of her manuscript. This was back when Mrs. Cake was just a filly. Anyway, the publisher had just rejected another manuscript by a saucier named Firey Fricassee, and he got really steamed, and—”
“How do you know so much about this, Pinkie?”
“How do you not!?”
Twilight turned to look at the camera, frowning. “This isn’t really germane to proper library management, though. Maybe you can tell me about this after we finish—”
“No, Twilight, this is important! You’ve got one of the most important books of the last two hundred years sitting in your library and you don’t even know about it! Do you know what this could mean?”
Twilight bit her lip. “Okay, well, maybe we should give the little colts and fillies a break, and then we can come back to learning about libraries in a few minutes…”
The image blinked off.
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Could be worse.
It could have been a copy of the Joye of Snacks by A Lancre Witch.
That would have gotten interesting fast.
... I would totally watch a video series on the history of baking and cooking from Pinkie. She'd totally be the pony Alton Brown, and it would be amazing.
You'd think Twilight would try to keep focus when making videos instead of having the attention span of a field mouse. And how would she consider showing children a video of her getting drunk is a good idea?
Ironically, Pinkie is the only character that there is an apparent intelligence behind. What a lovely thing.
But, I want to know what happened!
4146277
Well, in fairness to this chapter, it is VERY difficult to stay on topic around Pinkie. She also ended up agreeing that the first video probably shouldn't be made public.
I love it, I love everything about it! Hope there's some more saucy TwiDash... or maybe AppleTwiDash?
I bet a time-traveler did it.
Good to see both Twilight and the story are getting some distance from Dash. That's not to say the problem is resolved, but at least she has something else to focus on. And someone else, hopefully.
Looking forward to more. And remember:approximatechef.files.wordpress.com/2011/08/baking-is-science.jpg
4145651
I'm pretty sure Pinkie is Equestria's Nanny Ogg analogue. Give it the better part of a century, and her version will fly off the shelves. Especially in Cloudsdale.
4146380
Too bad, it's a Noodle Incident.
Ahh, yes. Well written enjoyable pinkie pie. We all know she has some serious Brains behind that facade of happy insanity.
4147322
Or is it?
Twilight has got to get out more!
4147408
It most certainly is.
Because anything you could write would pale in comparison to what we imagine. And that would make it disappointing.
And disappointed readers are the bane of an author.
4145651
Nanny Pie. Alright. I can get behind that. I can't place an Esme, though. There's nopony that rides the line so closely and coldly.
I could see Twilight at Unseen University, though . Particularly in High-Energy Magic. What a strange relationship she would have with the Librarian.
"Firey Fricassee", what a great name for a potential arsonist.
I've found the meta discussion of this series is interesting. I didn't actually realize it was tagged [Romance] at first, until you mentioned it in response to Ghost's ghostwriting in your comment section. The idea that everyone latched onto the (fairly novel, to my knowledge) concept of Twilight doing a vlog series isn't really that surprising if you ask me. It is a sort of meta story in concept, in the vein of TS earns the feature box. I guess I'm sort of wondering if you have a long term plan for this series, or whether you're actually just writing by the seat of your pants here.
4159893
A bit of both, actually. I've got a 20-episode arc I wanted to do, but I'm basically letting the whole thing just take me where it pleases. For instance, this last chapter had nothing to do with what I'd planned. But I think it'll actually slot in nicely, when all is said and done. My original plan on this episode was a little weak, and I think it would have been taking the story into a place that the readers so far wouldn't have enjoyed as much. Bringing Pinkie in now, instead of later, I think makes more sense in the long run.
And here I would have thought that the numbered lists would have been part of the reason she really liked it.
4146948 All the best Librarians are accomplished users of L-space after all. It's only fitting that Twilight eventually started time traveling.
Baking is just edible chemistry.
4145869
Damn straight.
4147142
I adore (and own) both that shirt and the series that spawned it.