"So let me make sure I'm understanding this correctly," Rarity said, looking at Spike while rubbing her chin. "You're developing feelings for your boss, Vinyl..."
"Yes."
"You asked her out on a date of sorts without quite thinking things through..."
"Yep."
"She said yes..."
"Uh-huh."
"And now you need my help to keep this date from being an awkward disaster?"
"Yes, ma'am," Spike replied. "You think you can help me? This is a pretty urgent situation."
Rarity trapped Spike in a hug before he knew what hit him.
"Oh, Spikey, of course I can help!” Rarity said, beaming and nuzzling his cheek. “I'm so happy you found a special somepony again."
Spike gently pushed away from the hug and leaned back into the couch they were seated on. "Thanks, Rarity, but don't get ahead of yourself yet. I mean, it's just our first date, and I don't even know if she likes me yet... as more than a friend, at least."
"Oh, details, details," Rarity waved her hoof. "If there's one thing I've learned in my years of relationship experience, it is that the first date, friendly or not, will either make or break any potential relationship."
Spike's eyes widened as he gulped down the nervous bulge that appeared in his throat. “B-Break it?”
"Exactly. So what I'm saying, darling, is that if everything goes well, she'll be falling for you by the end of the night. If not, well... it may not end so well.”
“Oh, gosh, this sounds even harder than I thought. And it seemed pretty hard to start with!”
“Relax, Spikey. It’s not that difficult. You just have to make sure to sweep her off her hooves!"
"Easier said than done. I’m not exactly an expert in the romance category. Besides, I'm not sure that's the best way to go. I mean, Vinyl doesn't seem like one to be, you know, swept away by a date."
"Spike, trust me. Every mare, no matter her personality, wants to be swept off their hooves by somepony else.” Rarity winked at Spike. “Maybe they don't all show it, but the desire is still there, and if you manage to do so with Vinyl, she'll be putty in your hooves! Or claws, I should say."
Spike pondered the idea for a moment. On one side, he loved the idea of getting closer to Vinyl. On the other, he never really liked putty. It was messy, sticky, and usually involved him having to wash himself after using it. Plus, he was terrible at sculpting anything outside of an unintelligible blob with it. This was beginning to sound more and more hopeless by the second.
"I don't know, Rarity. Things have a tendency to go wrong when they're rushed, especially for me. But I don’t know, maybe I'm just being too cautious." Spike let out a loud sigh and sunk into the couch. "Or maybe I'm still nervous after what happened with Flitter when we moved too fast. You know how that went."
Rarity opened her mouth to say something, but words seemed to be in short supply. "Well, um... listen, Spike. You were younger, and you made a mistake. We all do."
"Yeah, that’s putting it lightly. But, unfortunately, it was the same mistake, over and over again."
"Look, Spikey, the point is you've grown and learned from it. Besides, this is a completely different mare in a completely different set of circumstances. I promise things will be different. Not to mention you’ll have me right here to help you." Rarity placed a hoof on Spike’s shoulder and smiled at him.
Spike turned to Rarity with a small smile, and he held her in a warm hug for a moment. "Thanks."
Rarity nuzzled his cheek and looked him in the eyes. "Spike, how many times must I remind you? I'm your friend. It's my job to make sure you succeed at your plans."
"Good thing, because I'm going to need all the help I can get," Spike said with a chuckle. "I haven't even decided where I'm going to take her yet. I was thinking maybe the Ponyville Grille or something."
Rarity let out a deep sigh and smacked her hoof to her forehead. “Spike, Spike, Spike… I love you dearly, but I feel I must be honest here. That’s a horrendous idea. The Ponyville Grille is on the lowest rung of all eating establishments within the town. You need something with flare, decor, and atmosphere!”
“Atmosphere?”
“Yes!” Rarity said. “The standard eating fare may be good for simply hanging out as friends, but not for a date. No, you need someplace special. You need… The Spot!”
“Um, The Spot? What’s that?”
“It is nothing short of the most sophisticated and refined eatery in all of Ponyville. Anypony who’s anypony goes there,” Rarity said with a wink.
“Okay… what kind of food do they have?”
“I have no idea, but that’s not the point! It’s got modern decor, a coffee bar, live music, and nothing is below fifty bits in price. It’s perfect!”
“Um, not that I don’t appreciate your input here, Rarity, but I’m not exactly rolling in money. I’ve only just now earned about two thirds of the bits I need for my keyboard.”
“Spike, when it comes to romance, sacrifices must be made.”
Spike fell back into the couch with a small frown. “Fine, but are you sure this will pay off?”
Rarity gasped, taken aback by his words. “Spike! I’m offended by the fact that you would doubt me.”
“Well…”
“Have I ever led you astray before?” she asked. “Honestly, darling, you have nothing to worry about.”
“It’s not you that I doubt, Rarity,” Spike said. “I doubt my own ability to execute this whole date without making a fool of myself. If I’m gonna be dishing out bits like that, I’d rather have some confidence that I’m not just shooting blind.”
“Oh, come now, Spike. It’s not that difficult. You talk to me all the time.”
“Well, yeah, but you’re not a girl. You’re Rarity.”
Rarity opened her mouth to retort, but her face simply morphed into a frown.
“Besides, I’m talking about romantic situations,” Spike replied. “Romantic situations that have a high probability of me getting hit in the face or shaking in the fetal position under a table. I speak from experience.”
"Hmm, you do present an interesting case, Spike," Rarity said. "Yes, I remember your first date with Flitter ended with you hiding under my bed for the entire night."
"That was... an odd date, to say the least," Spike replied. "I guess I should have considered myself lucky she thought it was cute. Unfortunately, I doubt Vinyl is the same. From what I can tell, she’s not exactly the fluffy, cutie type of mare that Flitter was. Other than the fact she's been hurt before by some past relationship, I don't really know anything about her relationship history or what she finds attractive."
"Well, Spike, that's the purpose of a date. You learn more about somepony you're interested in."
"I guess... it’s just, I really feel some kind of connection with her and I really don't want to blow it. It’s too bad you can't come with me. I could totally use your help."
Rarity frowned at hearing Spike's lament. That frown, however, was immediately replaced by a grin.
"I've got an idea!"
"An... idea? An idea for what?"
Rarity yanked him off the couch with her magic and set him on the floor in front of her. "I've got an idea, Spike. An idea that will allow me to keep an eye on you during the date, as well as feed you instructions on what to do. Because, frankly, you're going to need my assistance," Rarity said. "Growing up with Twilight did wonders for your intelligence, but for your social graces... not so much."
Spike rolled his eyes. "And how exactly do you plan to pull this ‘idea’ off? You know, without it being blatantly obvious? I'm pretty sure it’s a total lack of social grace to be funneled tips on a date from one of your friends. Plus, it'll make Vinyl think I'm a dork."
"Well, dear, if you would simply listen for a moment and keep your skepticism to yourself, I could tell you. It's quite ingenious, really," Rarity said with a prideful grin. A grin that reminded Spike of somepony who was about to sell him a product he neither wanted nor needed.
"Okay, Rarity, what's the plan?" Spike said, bracing himself for the ludicrous idea that would follow.
"Come, Spike, let us go! We're going into town," Rarity said, levitating Spike onto her back as she dashed out the door, flipping her open sign to closed. "We're going to need some supplies."
Spike was at war with himself. On one side, he was curious to see what Rarity had come up with. On the other, there was a good chance things could go terribly wrong and end up badly for him.
In cases like this, it was usually the latter.
Either way, her wide eyes and huge grin told him this would be one heck of a plan.
The Devil Wears Prada reference
4870285 And it fits beyond perfectly with this chapter.
4870286 ... Vinyl's gonna wear prada?
Also, B.
4870291 Nah, the title itself matches kind of how Rarity is in the newest chapter.
4870301 Oh...
Also, I imagine this is how Spike feels:
I can't wait to see how it continues from here
4870311 Caleb Shomo FTW!
B, thats my idea.
A cross between A and B.. it'll be very awkward, but will come together in a BIG way which will help them BOTH grow from it, and be good for them both...
4870315 You know it bitch!
Like all story´s it will be B
4870386 Good thing I don't write like most authors.
4870392
I can already tell that this going to be a horrible horrible plan. As for the date I agree with
4870348 , it'll start off bad but get better after Spike figures out more what Vynil would want.
That bit with the putty... Was that a metaphor for how Spike is inexperienced and often fumbles opportunities to take a potentially good thing and make it great and instead makes a mess of everything by accidentally making it worse than before?
Or was he just rambling?
4870424 Metaphor. An attempted one, at least.
B, but at the end A ^^
I think it'll be a total mess at first. Especially if they end up at a high end restaurant.
I vote option D, all of the above. It begins very awkward. There happens a complete disaster, but the disaster makes the date end very well.
4870429 Personally, I think that it is a bit of all of the above. Think about his experiences.
4870429 I don't know where you are going with that..... Anyway, I think that this will end in disaster....but the twist that it's so bad that Spike and Vinyl will get closer together based on how cheesy it turns out to be. (think about it, Spike is trying to get advice from a pony that idolizes romances like in her books---It's looking like this entire plan is gonna go up in smoke.
Simply put---Spike, just be yourself. Don't try to assume things, because you don't know what she likes/dislikes until she wants you into her circle. And don't try to attempt to be someone else, because even dumb people can sense fake from a mile away. Be you. If your date doesn't like the real you, her loss, she doesn't deserve you anyway. Just be you.
It will probably end in disaster, but I can see Vinyl being a pretty good sport about it anyway.
Spike probably had the right idea with the Ponyville Grille, but of course, Rarity had to insist it be all romance-novel-y.
4870546 lol same I choose d
B: Completely Awkward, Rarity is terrible with relationship advice.
The day of the date:
C:.....
In my opinion it will be a mix of A and B, very awkward but with Vinyl thinking it went well by comparison to past experiences. Keep up the good work.
I'm saying D- A fucking mess.
I go for B.
Why do you release first in fanfiction and then in fimfiction?
4870899 I release the unedited versions on Fanfiction so I can get an idea of the kind of response I'll get and make any needed adjustments.
How about
D. Humorous and awkward.
c or b
I bet it is going to be both a total disaster and a complete success at the same time. It will be the former because Spike will end up screwing up all of Rarity's advice via bad luck or jittery nerves, yet it will be a complete success because Rarity's knowledge of a mare's interests and likes will be completely off-base with Vinyl and she'll think that the date was awesome anyway.
4870681 SPONGEBOB REFERENCE
B and what happen with Flitter
Awkward or a total success. Or both, Cause Vinyl is just that epic.
4871106 You'll have to wait and see. The aspect of Flitter's role here is a huge part of the later chapters.
I'll say this much: there will be fire.
T
VENGENCE!
might end up in a disaster but im thinking Vinyl will love it at the same time. so im saying it will go well.
4871297 Yeah, I can barely write her character without getting a headache.
Spike really should have said "You're not a girl. You're a LADY." Poor spike.
Anyways, I think it'll go exactly how it goes in comedy movies. Spike will have an earpiece on funneling him information, he'll go on the date, shenanigans ensue, Vinyl says that Octavia has been doing the same thing, but with lessons on how to be more classy, and they'll instead brush rarity and octavia off and go take a walk in the park or something and start smoochin!
__ YES.
I think it's gonna start og alright, them slowly become completely awkward... And then a total disaster
I think the date will go well. Spike can see that vinyl isn't your usual girl when it comes to romance. Even if initially the date goes off to a rocky start which would be expected spike or vinyl can think on the fly to improve any awkward situation that arises.
4871151 is there chick fight
C. Because if you're going to make Vinyl act like Vinyl, it won't go as planned, but if you make her a party mare with a secret of being classy and sophisticated, than I really can't say anything will go wrong.
4871345 +1 for the response. I would think the same way
I'm hoping for a combination of A and B.
4870681 I nearly spit out my drink reading your comment.