The last things The Mane 6 ever expected from the meteor shower was zomponies rising from the grave or undead monsters attacking their home of Ponyville and yet these things have transpired thanks to the arrival of a new and deadly foe but this one foe could actually do what many in the past have failed. This one could very well be the one who brings The Elements Of Harmony to their knees and the world of Equestria may very well be their final resting place.
*Edit: Cover art graciously done by TP Night. Link to his Deviant-Art account here.
Chapters (1)
dark. what's the crossover?
3945197 *spoilers*
Groovy
Neat. Seems like a George Romero/Venom/Carnage kind of thing.
3945197 If he does this right, you won't know for a Long time, dispite Hint Droppage.
3945198 Indeed.
Welp, finally read it in Full!
I gotta say, it's looking good... Feels a slight bit... rushed tho?
Like your hurrying to a "Good part"?
can't really Blame you, that's kind of why my story's stalled... realized i was rushing to the End.
OK, REVIEW TIME, Night Style!
Characters - Mane 6, portraid in a believable, more-or-less accurate way (for the short times they were shown, that is).
Cadence and Shining, also believable and accurate, plus I already feel sorry for Cadence since Shining died..
Then there's the... "creature", As I shall call it for now. A mysterious shadowform we know almost nothing about. Good suspence character,
written in a way that makes the reader curious to find out more, and thus willing to keep on reading.
Settings - Not much to say here, as you have not yet described any specifics, and the few places you HAVE used need no description, as they are all some of the most well-known places (Ponyville, Library, Crystal Empire, Random Grassy Field)
Time of Story - WOULD be helpful to know WHEN this takes place. obviously after season 2 when Empire was revealed, and Cadence / Shining.
BUT, is it BEFORE or AFTER Twilight gets her wings? This should be clearified in an upcoming chapter, and by my recommendation, as soon as possible.
Writing - Few minor errors like missng or miss-placed commas, nothing serious. other than that, writing is good and fluid.
I also like how you shift between 1st and 3rd person, using 1st person perspective for "the creature" while shifting to 3rd person for the others.
HOWEVER, As Taco Belle pointed out, it DOES feel a tiny bit rushed, as if you're trying to "cut down" the story to focus on the more event-ful parts by shortening or completely skipping the less eventful sections.
All in All, only minor flaws, and overall a good start for what CAN be a really good story if it continues like this.
(Oh, And now that I've read this, I can get a more clear idea for the cover art, I have some ideas in mind I'm gonna try out...)
Consider yourself.... Reviewed!
And yay a zombie fanfic (sorta) well it seemed the slight rushed but otherwise it's fine :)
3945198 My however many hours of *** zombies and its lore served me well it about guessing the crossed-over media. Thumbs up, good sir
Hint: Their abbreviation is a type of fish