Chapter 3
I screamed.
Screamed and screamed til I lost track of time. Screamed till my throat bled. And I ran the whole time. Well, as much as I could. There’s only so much more running you can do after you lock yourself in your room.
The blood in the back of my mouth drizzled down my throat, nearly down the wrong pipe. I spent a few minutes hacking and coughing until I spat out a splatter of red on the hardwood floor. I kept coughing, because it felt like I had more blood. In actuality I was probably just making my throat bleed more. I trotted myself to my bathroom sink, which for the life of me felt like dragging dead weight with my front hooves, until I finally let myself slump over the counter and breathe.
The cool hardtop was a stark contrast to the heat in my cheeks and the heavy beat of my heart. I could almost hear it reverberate in the fixtures and echo through the pipes. It wouldn’t have surprised me. Nothing at that point would, or could, I don’t think, simply for the fact that I wouldn’t have been able to focus on it long enough to be surprised.
I spat out a little bit more blood, and passed out. I was mildly aware of the presence of someone else in the room as my consciousness faded
-------------
Waking up from passing out is rather different than waking up in the morning. After you sleep, if you’re anything like me, you simply wake up. There’s no transition. It’s just a switch going off in your head. Nothing special.
Returning to consciousness from fainting, however, is a slow, almost arduous process. Your mind tries to protect itself, to keep you unconscious and safe from whatever external stimuli that induced your lapse in consciousness. It’s more like a struggle to make yourself aware of everything around you. Light fades in and out, and sound comes in snippets as your ability to process it sways back and forth.
“...she ok...
“...hell was she screaming about...”
“...found her...”
“...on the floor? Really...”
My perception of the room seemed to come in a jumbled mess, like being shown one piece of a jigsaw puzzle at a time. I saw a lamp, something familiar that was pink, a hoof, some bright light, and finally, when I could see more than three inches of space surrounded by blur, I focused on the rather confused face of Daisy. Fortunately or no, my ability to process noise also seemed to return in full.
“What the hell were you doing?You ran right past me screaming like... like...”
“Like you?” Said a familiar and snarky voice behind me. I knew it, but didn’t necessarily want to tilt my head to confirm my suspicions.
“I don’t scream like that all the time!” Daisy pouted.
Unfortunately, the position I was in was extremely uncomfortable, so I rolled over. And looked up. “Hello, Philharmonica. Why are you in my house?”
Octavia tilted her head in concern. Pouting slightly, she offered a hoof to help me up. I begrudgingly accepted, not wanting to seem weak, and brought myself to my hooves. I felt for a moment that I might need the help again, as my body swayed uncertainly, but I steadied myself, and made a point to stand straight. “Oh come on, Rose. You run screaming through the streets like a madmare and you expect nopony to be concerned about you? Of course I wanted to make sure you were ok,” she said, sounding slightly hurt.
“Right, I’m sorry. Thank you. I just... look, I’m not even entirely sure what just happened, and I could hardly explain it to you. I’m just still a little freaked out, and I seem to remember coughing up blood at some point, so forgive me if I seem a little edgy,” I apologized halfheartedly, even if I didn’t mean it.
She gave me a look that I didn’t quite recognize. “If I didn’t know better I’d say you were on something. That sounds almost word for word like a bad acid trip.”
Part of me wanted to ask how she knew, but the other part wanted sleep.I turned around to find a place to sit, and was reminded of Daisy’s presence. She looked more than a little freaked out. “Forget about me, are you ok, Daisy?”
“Ok? Ok?! Of course I’m not ok! You come tearing through the door screaming your head off like you just lost a limb and run straight into your room, which doesn’t actually lock by the way, been meaning to tell you that, and then you cough up a bunch of blood and pass out all over your bathroom sink?! Did you even see me at all when you ran in here? I was right there when you fell over! I thought you were dead or something! Can you believe...” she rambled on in frustration, and I turned to the grey cellist for a more concise answer.
“Don’t look at me. She started screaming a little after you stopped. There were a few ponies that were more than concerned by you running through town, but so many of us are used to... her,” she gestured to a still-rambling Daisy, “that quite a few ponies lost interest. You almost ran a hole right through me, though, so i felt mildly oblidged to ensure you weren’t possessed or high.”
I felt a slight smirk cross my face as I threw myself into my couch. “‘Preciate it.” I sank into the cushions, and was met with the irking sensation that I was missing something.
She herself took a seat on the opposite end, and asked, “So what exactly happened?”
I thought about my answer. Hard. I wasn’t even entirely sure what did happen. I just knew some... thing yelled at me. Or, rather, thought. Was it even a yell? Part of me felt like I saw something, but the only thing I could remember with any clarity was having a conversation with Ditzy. “Honestly I don’t remember any details. I was talking to Ditzy, and... something happened. I don’t know what.” That sensation surfaced again. I felt a little cold, almost, and empty.
She tilted her head to look at me. “Does it have anything to do with what happened at Princess Twilight’s this morning?”
“I... think so...” that was weird. Why was my speech slurred?
Octavia said something else, but I didn’t hear it.
It was at that point that I realized what I was missing.
All the blood had rushed out of my head. Hello again, sleep.
--------------------------
After the second time waking up from passing out, I was starting to get tired of it. No pun intended. This time, however, I awoke to unfamiliar surroundings. Well, unfamiliar in that I didn’t recognize them right away.
Hospitals are a familiar setting to almost anypony, for one reason or another. This time, I woke slightly faster. Sound and light didn’t cut out as frequently, and I quickly grasped the conversation going on around me. Or at least, nearby. All of the other ponies in the room were standing on the other side of a curtain, chatting morosely about somepony’s condition. I prayed it wasn’t me, and then I noticed the silhouette of another pony in the neighboring bed. A couple of doctor spoke in low tones, but I caught phrases like “psychosis” and “self-harm”. Celestia knws why the put me in a room next to him.
I laid back down and was getting ready to fall back asleep when the doctors on the other side of the curtain turned and started to move towards me. My first impression as that they wanted to speak to me.
My second impression was that there was something very wrong.
It took me a moment to realize what it was. I could tell that there were two of them. They turned to each other and made quiet comments as they walked. Maybe it was the slow, deliberate pace with which they approached me? Or was it the fact that they didn’t seem to be getting closer?
My second idea was quickly dispelled by one of them reaching for the edge of the curtain, ready to draw it back. It was then that I realized what was wrong with them. Their shadows. Their voices.
There was only one set of hooves between the two.
I shrank back into my bed as far as I could, trying to pull the covers over me. But Celestia-be-damned hospital corners, the sheets wouldn’t give. After I heard the curtain rustle slightly, I froze, and turned my head slowly to watch the fabric draw back on the metal bar holding it up.
It was an agonizingly slow process. I stared at their wrong hooves, their wrong heads talking to each other, the hoof reaching for the curtain even as all four of their hooves stayed in place on the ground.
Then, with a snap, the curtain drew back. Revealing one absolutely ordinary doctor.
I almost jumped out of bed. Whether to hug him or dive for the window, I wasn’t sure.
He cut right to the chase, seemingly ignorant to my distressed state. “Well, Miss Roseluck, you seem to be a little worse for wear, but nothing awful. There was some slight bleeding in the back of your throat, which we patched. You may not have noticed it yet, but you’re going to experience some itching and a scratching sensation back there. Usually we don’t see these kinds of throat injuries outside of metal singers.”
“Metal?” I whispered, thinking that might be safer. It wasn’t. Hurt like hell.
“Oh yes. You’re going to want to drink plenty of lemon juice, in small doses of course, and lots of water. I also strongly advise against whispering, as you’ve just experienced. All of the damage is to your vocal chords, and whispering constricts them. It’s like squeezing a paper cut. Try to stick to your normal speaking voice, nothing more, nothing less,” he explained. “Now, the good news is you didn’t pass out thanks to any kind of blood loss. That seemed to be a worry of that Daisy friend of yours. After she settled down, of course. But you put your body under a great deal of stress very quickly, and changed gears rather hard. Plus, there’s sort of a checklist of things to do and not to do after you pass out, and throwing yourself at your furniture and talking with blood in your stomach aren’t on the “do” list,” he chuckled, amused by his own joke.
I flopped back in bed, and stared at the ceiling. “Well that’s fun,” I grumbled. My throat itched like crazy and talking was rather sore.
“Of course, you could always not talk. I do advise that one.”
I gave him a look, and he smiled at me. Apparently he thought himself a comedian. “So where are my friends?”
He nodded behind him. “Right outside. I wanted to talk to you myself to make sure you didn’t do any more damage to your vocal chords in the course of normal conversation. I’ll let them in in just a moment if you like.”
“That sounds good. Hey, Doc?” I added, after a brief pause.
He’d turned around and was about to walk back out of the room. “Yes?”
“What’s with the patient next to me, anyway? Do I need to be worried?”
He looked at me quizzically, then at the other bed in the room. “Who?”
I looked where he was looking. Even though i couldn’t see the bed, I could see the shadow it cast.
Empty.
I turned back to my doctor, who smiled gently at me. “Miss Rose you may just need some time to relax. Obviously something today has stressed you a great deal. It may be prudent to find a work schedule that is a little less stressful. Maybe take some time off, let your voice heal.”
I nodded, putting the thought of the shadows behind the curtain in the back of my mind. Laying my head back against the pillow, I decided to let myself fall asleep. Naturally this time.
........it begins
Yipes.
No, Derpy! Don't get arrested! Run, you fool!
Oh shit... That's... I'm really cold all of the sudden...
I swear, if you scare the shit out of me, I will stab you with a fork.
Remember, it's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
Oh Rose...this just isn't your day.
Well, if she's fortunate, maybe everything will be bright sunshine and maple bacon donuts when she wakes up! No monsters or scary things anywhere in, or just out of, sight...
The problem with seeing in the fourth dimension is analagous to a flat paper man on his flat paper world. All looks normal to his sides which is all he knows. He can only see things not of his world by turning off the paper. If he turns too fast though, or too hastily, he will begin to spin. Like when you turn on your heels too fast and they slip out from under you. In and out of alignment with his paper world he will spin. And once that happens, there's no telling at what angle he will come to rest at. Without some way to correct or guide his rotation, the likelihood of perfectly aligning with his paper world again is next to nothing.
Though according to classic 4-dimensional geometry, when a mare has "rotated out" so-to-speak, the plane that is her axis of rotation will remain in the original 3-d space. So since Twilight isn't a mysteriously animated paper thin slice extracted from her midsection like with a scalpel, the above scenario probably isn't the case at all. It's more likely magic, and they don't gotta explain shit.
This is awesome-ly creepy. Do please continue writing it.
I feel like I've read something like this before.... maybe Lovecraft? Either way, suspenseful horror is terrible/wonderful for me, so keep it up!
Halp me!!!
I cant sleep because of the cover art!
(Not saying that its bad, its just COMPLETELY ABSOLUTELY INSTANTLY scary for me)
The description makes it worse!
4014630 You know the cover art is a jack 'o lantern, right? The description I can understand, but the cover art? It's just a pumpkin.
4015365
Have you tried reading it in the dark and not knowing it was a jack o' lantern?
4016340 It's not 'a' Jack-o-lantern. It's 'my' Jack -o-lantern. From last Halloween.
4016964
You did a good job of carving!
If you somehow are offended, (Because I think you sounded like you were) I didn't mean it!
4016991 Nah, I'm good.
nice. But I'm sad that there's only one chapter left.
...Roseluck only started seeing them after Derpy told her about them. Why did Derpy tell her about them?
Oh man. If it were me, I'd have so many tears.
I'm listening to this right now.
Things everywhere, stalking me out of the corners of my eyes. I'm not afraid, though- if they want a battle, I'll give them a battle.
Let the Shadow Wars commence!
Not going to end well for her now.
She be fucked.
~Skeeter The Lurker
Octavia doesn't even know how close she is...
....Legit chills after reading there was no pony in the bed next to her. I almost NEVER get chills in creepy/horror stories. I congratulate thee for making me want to shit bricks . Then again it could be that it's 2 am and it dark where I am....
I had to put this down last night. Creepypasta tier or not, I didn't feel comfortable after the previous chapter. Very good job so far.
Octavia was in this, yay. But she was kinda a bitch in this... so less yay, but still Octavia.
Also the part with the empty hospital bed is just creepy. Though not too badly.
so i felt mildly oblidged
Celestia knws why the put me in a room next to him
Even though i couldn’t see the bed
1. Forgot yo capitalise.
2. Celestial knows why they put me in a room next to him.
3. Forgot to capitalise.
Celestia knOws
The story is very intriguing and has a familiar setting, any inspiration from Lovecraft? It sounds like one of his works.
cdn.meme.am/instances/250x250/54527726.jpg
Austin Carlile and Danny Worsnop would be proud.
... am i the only one who can see Derpy/Ditzy giving this whatever scared Rose like that a serious scolding after she ran off?
2:02 still at it.... what is that a mosquito bite?
Seeing things out of the corner of her eye that aren't there... now things are getting interesting
4341580 same here. My arm started to itch like crazy a minute ago, so I am kind of paranoid right now.
Hehe.. Quite funny how fearful the sane mind is. Those of us that aren't of sane mind can easily see that which can not be seen.
Buggers are quite annoying though. Always pestering and stuff.
Omitted period?
Space at the beginning of sentence.
Ditto.
Capitalize i.
The sentence outside of the quote seems to be describing the quote as an afterthought, which would indicate it is a separate statement and not an extension of the quote. So, that would be capitalized.
A couple doctors and Celestia knows why they.
Impression was.
Capitalization.
I'm intrigued by the shift in the way that the corner dwellers appeared. I may be wrong, but it seemed to me that they were more like collagen, and now they seem to be more mysteriously pony-like and shadow-based in appearance. The plot thickens, heh.
And do tell me if you're bothered by me pointing out the errors in the grammar/punctuation/whatever. I just want to respectfully help, I guess.
oh shit there goes the last breadstick this is gonna be scary
I swear, i will banish all of you foul creatures to the shadow realm, now back off! No? Then let the shadow games commence!
*Reads about her vision with the doctors being connected at the neck*
Evelyn, Evelyn! Clara and Mia!
There's a lot of typos in this chapter, which is unfortunate, because it pulls the reader out of immersion in what is otherwise a very good chapter.
Especially seeing as most of them were pointed out six months ago. Come on, McRae. You've created something that's pretty good. Be proud enough of it to spend ten minutes polishing it.
7723232
Have to agree with you on that one. It was getting more and more disturbing for me. Until I noticed the typos.
I am still enjoying it so far, though.
Let's play a game.
Who's up for five nights at Rosies?
Now I'm gonna be seeing shit for the rest of my life.
7291026
Potatoes are your greatest ally. Use them well, angry potato.
7723232
They're starting to ruin my enjoyment and keep me out of really being a part of the creepy experience.
Now I'm just annoyed that something this badly in need of editing is at the absolute top of my reading list when sorted for rating.
7933718
I'll bring the dip
very well written and very spooky, but as other comments have noted, it definitely needs a look-over in terms of the typos.