• Member Since 9th Sep, 2013
  • offline last seen February 2nd

Commander Hot Stuff


T

A heated discussion and the feeling of worthlessness make to Rainbow Dash the following question: Why was I born? What is the meaning of my life? How Equestria would be if I had not been born? Perhaps a better place?
The lunar princess help this pony with her questions in the simplest way.

Chapters (7)
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Comments ( 14 )

*Give me a speck of something that makes sense.

This is going to be good! I can't wait! Reminds me of a fairly odd parents episode actually!

...why is Dash being so...poetic? or whatever, it doesn't seem to fit her character

3870889 Dash is a little shaken with the discussion she had with the girls.

Also, jeez you need an editor

I am not the mother of Celestia for her not exist.

that doesn't make sense

Luna and I waited for my friend outside the theater . It was already strange enough , but the princess seemed to have more plans . We follow Applejack and her cab through the streets of Manehattan to a simple condo . I knew it! I knew Applejack was not so changed . A false name , a strange profession, but she is still my good friend Applejack .

Where I've underlined: there should only be a space after the period/full stop and comma, there should be none before.

This is a great story but it suffers due to bad grammar and editing. Post this fic in a editing group and you should, hopefully, get someone to edit for you.

You need an editor.....badly!

Comment posted by Commander Hot Stuff deleted Feb 17th, 2014
Comment posted by Rainbow87dash deleted Feb 17th, 2014
Comment posted by Commander Hot Stuff deleted Feb 17th, 2014
Comment posted by Rainbow87dash deleted Feb 17th, 2014

I simply loved this.... no words to describe.

The title of the story is part of the lyrics to the song Loyalty by AcoustiMandoBrony.

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