Marefriends

by Ponywubs

A Trip To The Spa

Twilight was sitting at her desk reading a book on Equestrian laws and Spike was upstairs cleaning their room, when a knock drew her attention away from her book. Who could that be? she thought
Twilight got up to answer the door, the book floating in front of her face. "Morning, darling." greeted Rarity
"Hi, Rarity." said Twilight as she turned and walked back to her desk. Rarity walked in with the door closing behind her. "Is there something you need?" asked the librarian.
"Yes, darling. I came in hopes that you would agree to go to the spa with me." said Rarity as she trotted up to the bookshelf and started to look through the books. Twilight looked up from her book with confusion on her face.
"What about Fluttershy? Don't you usually go with her?"
"Yes, but she's away seeing her grandmother."
"What about Pinkie, AJ, or Rainbow Dash? Can't you take one of them?"
"Well, princess, you've been gone for a week at this princess training program. I missed you… we missed you. Plus, they're busy."
"What makes you think I'm not busy?"
Rarity deadpanned and said "Darling, you're here in the library with nopony here and reading." Twilight looked up from her book, ready to defend herself.
"Well… to me that's being busy."
Rarity walked up to Twilight, putting her hooves around Twilight's right foreleg and falling to her knees. She then started to pull playfully "Come on, Twilight." pleaded Rarity with a sing song voice.
"Come on, Rarity! I'm trying to read!" said Twilight as she tried to free her foreleg from Rarity's grip with her wing.
" Please, Twilight! Please! Please! PLEASE!!!" rebutted Rarity she put on her most sad looking puppy dog eyes. Twilight sighed in defeat, letting her wings droop.
"You really want me to go, huh?" asked Twilight. Rarity nodded her head in agreement "Fine. I'll go."
Rarity squealed with excitement upon hearing Twilight agree with her and jumped up and enveloped Twilight in her magical aura. "Uhm… Spike, lock up and be safe." said Twilight as she was dragged off by Rarity.
--------------------------------------------------------------------<>---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Sometime during the walk to the spa, Rarity let go of Twilight and they were now walking side by side "So, what is the plan for today, Rarity?" questioned Twilight.
"Well, darling, after the spa I was planning to take you back to my house to make you a new dress."
Rarity stopped in front of the beauty shop which was only a block away from the spa.
"Rarity, why did we stop here? I thought we were going to the spa." asked Twilight. Rarity looked at Twilight with a grin across her face.
"We are, darling, but, I wanted to stop here first to buy you a mane pin." replied Rarity while she opened the door to the beauty shop. She then walked in. Why is Rarity buying me a mane pin? I thought she makes them. mused Twilight, but before she could think more on it she remember that Rarity was waiting for her inside, so she ran in the shop.
Inside, Rarity was looking for the perfect mane pin for Twilight when she noticed Twilight looking for her. "Over here, darling!" announced Rarity as she waved her hoof to get Twilight's attention.
Twilight trotted to where Rarity was and asked "Rarity, why are you buying a mane pin. I thought you made them?" Rarity stopped looking for a mane pin and look at Twilight.
"No, darling, I make clothing and hats, not mane pins." said Rarity
"Oh… but why buy me one?"
Rarity answered Twilight by pulling out a mane pin and showing Twilight it. "Yes, this is perfect." said Rarity. The mane pin was medium sized purple pin that matched Twilight's coat. It had a big pink star that resembled her cutie mark and two small, violet diamonds.
"Wow, Rarity. That's beautiful." exclaimed Twilight.
"Try it on, Twilight."
Twilight took the pin from Rarity's magical grip and walked up to a nearby mirror to try it on. "This looks really good on me!" said Twilight. Rarity walked up to Twilight and put a hoof on her shoulder
"It really fits you. You look really cute with it on." announced Rarity. Twilight turned her head to look at Rarity, her face adopting a light blush
"R- really?"
"Yeah, it's perfect for you!" Rarity turned around, getting ready to go to the cashier "Now how about I buy that for you?" Twilight turned around started to follow Rarity to the cashier
"Th- thanks, but you don't have to do that for me, Rarity."
They both were at the front desk when Rarity said "Oh, I insist. I won't take 'no' for an answer." Rarity looked at the clerk and pulled out her bit bag "How much?" she asked
"Twenty bits please." she said. Rarity took out the amount the clerk asked for and placed it on the counter "It really does suit you." she said while she took the bits and put them in the cash register. "Your friend here knows what she's doing."
"Thank you." said Rarity. Her and Twilight walked out the beauty shop and stood there for a couple seconds.
Twilight put her hoof to where her mane pin was.
"Thanks again, Rarity."
"Don't mention it. Now, we should get going, Twilight, dear." she said as she started to walk towards the spa with Twilight not far behind. Once they were at the entrance of the spa Rarity stop at the door and opened it for Twilight "After you." she said
Twilight, without hesitation, walked right, thanking Rarity at the same time. Rarity followed after shutting the door behind her. Right there at the registry were Aloe and Lotus, ready to take Rarity's order. They motioned for Twilight to take a seat. "Hello, ladies." said Rarity as she walked towards the counter.
"What would it be? The usual, Miss. Rarity?" asked Lotus. Rarity looked back at Twilight who was now reading a magazine
"No, make it the princess treatment for the both of us please." The spa twins seemed to have big smiles on their faces from Rarity saying the Princess treatment. Rarity took out her bit bag "That's two hundred bits right?" she asked while looking at the sisters.
"No no no. The princess will not pay that much money for a spa treatment. It's on the house." both sisters said simultaneously. That made Twilight poke her head up from the magazine. She put it down and walked up to the others.
"Please, you don't have to do that just because I'm a princess." said Twilight with a blush on her face. Rarity leaned to Twilight to whisper to her.
"Come now, Twilight, dear. You're a princess and deserve this free treatment. Besides, I don't have that much money on me." Twilight chuckled lightly to her self and decided to agree to the free treatment and had the twins lead them to their treatment.
It consisted of a hoof, back massage, wing preening for Twilight, acupuncture, and to top it off, a crystal mud bath. After their massage, preening, and acupuncture, it was time for the crystal mud bath. Rarity and Twilight were getting ready to get in the crystal mud.
Rarity, as usual, was in a body suit made of grass with her mane pinned up. She then jumped in. Twilight, who had nothing on, just hovered down into it. "So, darling, I was thinking besides the spa and buying you a mane pin today we rarely hang out or do mare things." said Rarity who was looking at Twilight now.
"What do you mean? We are at the spa right now and you just bought me the mane pin."
"Yes, darling, but we only did it for this one day." Rarity looked at the clock behind Twilight. It was 9:30. "Since it's late, how about tomorrow we get something to eat and then I can make you a dress. Lets say noon-ish." Rarity got out of the mud bath and looked back at Twilight, smiling "You are free tomorrow, right?"

Author's Note:

Well this is my first Raritwi Fanfic so please leave positive criticism. thanks princess glitzy for proofreading and editing it for me.

Comments

[Flint Sparks]

Um, dude, that manga is nsfw. Trust me, I read it.

[elmago02]

Based on Girlfriends? That disappoint me because now I know how it will end.

[Jlargent]

3908305 Hold on how is it NSFW? It's 'Mature' not 'Ecchi' there's a big difference.

[Flint Sparks]

3908396
Mature is still nsfw, sorry. Same reason you can't link mature stories on-site, even if it isn't clop.

[willrulz11]

Fuck you cunt

[Jlargent]

3908456 Please I've seen worse and at least give the story a decent chance before making judgment.

[Flint Sparks]

3908490
I read Girlfriends and liked it. But you can't link it here because it is mature.

As in there are naked girls in the manga.

[Flint Sparks]

3908464
rood.

[Jlargent]

3908528 Get over it, until the admins actually tells her to either remove the link or they delete the story there's nothing you can do. So I suggest cooling off okay?

[Flint Sparks]

3908602 I'm trying to be nice and help a guy before he gets reported. You're the one getting angry. I loved Girlfriends and this story probably isn't bad.

[Jlargent]

3908627 (Eye roll) Sure you are.

[Flint Sparks]

3908650 The site rules explicitly say that nsfw content cannot be linked. Mature is nsfw. I warned the guy. How am I being a jerk? I could've said nothing and just reported the story. I take the risk of people like you calling me out for trying to be helpful.

[Jlargent]

3908677 And yet you're doing the same thing? Isn't that a bit hypocritical?

[Flint Sparks]

3908688 Doing what? Explaining my position? There's some ambiguity of the rules, so people point it out (like now). I just don't appreciate the fact you were being rude about it and assuming I didn't like the story.

(Eye roll) Sure you are.

I never once said anything rude like this. So please, leave me alone.

Also, mister author? Thanks for taking the link down. Shot you a like, so keep writing!

[Jlargent]

3908712 Look all I'm saying is that you're blowing things out of proportion.

[Flint Sparks]

3908724 Actually, no I wasn't. Because a mod made sure the link got taken down. I know what I was talking about. I was looking out for the guy, alright?

Because I LOVE RARITWI!
i.chzbgr.com/maxW500/7565638144/hD884895F/

[Jlargent]

3908739 Really? Look I love shipping as much as the next guy but this is taking it a bit far don't you think? Besides Sunlight is best ship.

[Flint Sparks]

3908752 I always look out for a fellow shipper.
Anyway, I'm done spamming this poor guy's story. If you want to argue/debate/chat anymore, take it to PM. Otherwise, more RariTwi:

fc00.deviantart.net/fs70/i/2011/248/c/9/insert_joke_here_by_th3animefreak-d48xhqx.png

[willrulz11]

3908551

Fuck you you stupid fucking piece of shit. I hope you fucking drown in horse cum you stupid horsefucker

[Next Gen Wonderbolt]

3908830 Relax man. Jesus.

[Ponywubs]

Would u guys like it better if i wrote a complete original shipping fic?

[Ponywubs]

For those who is wondering why my fic is on hold, it's because i'm going to do one shots first and see how that goes, before continuing this or another one

[FlameingToast]

3908830
Well, aren't you just a ray of sunshine
3909624
One shots are always fun, but make sure to come back to this story because RariTwi is the 2ndbest ship

[Princess Glitzy]

Are you going to use my edited version?

[Ponywubs]

Yes i am 3913224

[Princess Glitzy]

3913847 Okay, I looked at the story. The only problem I have is your structure. Try indenting paragraphs and putting a line, a blank space, between them. Also, each voice should get their own line. I'll show you.

Twilight looked sadly up the stairs from her spot at the desk. Spike had been crying all day and he refused to leave their room. She wished she could do something to help him, but this wasn't her business and she knew that she shouldn't interfere.

Still, it hurt her each time his cries carried downstairs. What was wrong, she knew not, but it saddened her all the same. She pushed her chair back and walked up the stairs. She knew she shouldn't, but her maternal instincts had kicked in.

Standing at the doorway, she looked at Spike. He seemed so young, so fragile. It broke her heart seeing him this way. This was her strong friend who refused to leave her side even when the fate of the Crystal Empire hung in the balance.

She took a deep breath and spoke. "Spike." For a second, neither said a thing and nobody moved. For that one second of silence, Twilight was afraid.

"Yes?" A small voice could be heard. It was enough to show Twilight that she had at least cracked his shell, even with just one word. She ran up to him and wrapped her hooves around him.

"Oh, Spike. Please, tell me what's wrong. I just want to help you," He turned away, but didn't leave her grasp. She was afraid that she had already lost him. "You know that, right? I'll always be here for you."

"I know." She smiled happily for a second before once again taking on a sympathetic gaze.

"So, why can't you tell me?" Her voice betrayed her by showing the small hurt she felt. Yet, she knew that if he could hear that she was hurting, too, he may tell her what ailed him.

"I'm just not ready, Twilight."

"Okay, Spike." Silence engulfed them, but neither made the move to change anything. They sat, holding each other, with sad smiles on their faces.

Twilight had the nagging feeling that she needed to say something, that he needed to tell her what was wrong. Though, she knew that she should let him be. So, she didn't do anything and just simply enjoyed the closeness.

I wrote a really short story that shows you how it works. Even without that many words, do this.

Pinkie bounced over to Twilight. "I bought a donkey!"

"That's really cool!"

"I know! That's why I bought it!"

So, between paragraphs, put a blank line. Indent before paragraphs. Start a new line when a different pony talks. Also, it might be beneficial to read the Writing guide here on FimFiction.

[Sam Cole]

3915305 Wait, is your example supporting slavery?

Now I'm going to be honest Ponywubs, I have no clue about this manga, but I do want to offer this advise: You're basically translating something from a visual format to a literary one. Make sure you slow down and describe things then, as too not let your mental picture just blunder you through a scene. That a mistake a lot of authors make when transcribing something from visual to literary, myself included.

[Princess Glitzy]

3931357 What? No! I didn't actually have a clue why Spike was sad, even while I was writing it.

[Sam Cole]

3931405 Haven't you ever heard of the Emancipation Proclamation?!
Spike, you know I don't listen to Hip Hop.

[Princess Glitzy]

3934071 I've heard of it, but I'm honestly not sure what it is.

[Sam Cole]

3935394 Wait, honestly? Here, try this link out.

[Princess Glitzy]

3936249 Oh, that's what that is! I'm still in school, middle school, and we haven't gotten to that point in history yet!

[vinylicious321]

hey guys! im kinda new here, would someone tell me what "on hiatus" means? Is it like, the author is wondering wether or not to continue?

i hope he/she does because this could turn out wonderful!

[Princess Glitzy]

3963002 Hiatus means a few things. But, to give a general answer, the writing process is paused. That may be because they don't have time, or because they don't want to write it anymore, or because they can't think of any ideas etc. Either way, this story is on a break, so it may or may not continue. But, even if it does, it will most likely not continue for a long time because the status was changed to hiatus. Sadly, that usually leads to a cancellation, so this story may never continue. It's up to the author and how they're feeling.

[vinylicious321]

4158425 Thanks Brah!

[Princess Glitzy]

4161614 You're welcome!

[ChocoLatte]

I've just read Girl Friends, and I loved it! But the ending left me kinda restless... I wanted to see a grown-up Akko! (I blame my mind... )

The fic is kinda hard to judge due to the fact we only have such a little piece of it, but I do feel like this story actually has some similarities with Romance Reports! (With the obvious exceptions of the extensive sex, and the fact that this is a "Not quite Rarilight yet" and not a "TwiLuna. Kind of..." )
For instance, how the one-night stand (?) between Twilight and Braeburn was kinda similar to Mari's and Harada's relationship.

I was really interested in knowing how you had done it with this story...

Considering the in-verse setting to be just after Season 3, I take it would be based on their second year... (Vol. 2++)
One of the joys of a character-driven crossover is figuring out the casting.
I had some stray thoughts trying at that; Mari and Akko were set by default, (I don't think they could have been anyone else, tho') at first I thought Tamamin and Sugi-san would be good as Flutters and RD, and that Kuno-chan made a nice Pinkie, but as the story progressed, Tamamin appeared to be as good of a Pinkie, and Sugi-san was more like AJ...

~ChocoLatte

[Eclipse Moonshine]

Moar please.

[Ponywubs]

7462133 i'll see i have other stories i'm working on.

[Eclipse Moonshine]

7463938 yay!! Hopefully....

[Eclipse Moonshine]

Will this story be updated?

[Knight N Gale]

7463938
So....is this story dead, or.... what?