Story was good in essence but I feel as though Lyra forgave Bon Bon to easy considering what she did to Lyra.

Reviewed by the Pleasant Commentator and Review Group

Oohhh boy, that was a trip alright.I am not a writer or anything, but I'll try my best to criticize your story.First, the things I liked:one of the few Lyra/Bon Bon fics I've read.Also the addition of Iron Will is nice.Also, I liked their dynamic and the story is really funny at some parts.
As for what I didn't like:
-you use a lot of name repetition in your story.Try making the sentences longer to avoid repetition
-I didn't like that Bob Bon cheated on Lyra and the fact that she forgave her so easily.I went through that and it hurts like hell, I could barely move on after being cheated on...
-also, I felt like some things where kinda rushed, like why couldn't they discuss about their problem or other things?Bon Bon just...went on and cheated!Anddd..what the hell was this last chapter?I felt like I was reading a bad porn novel hahaha(sorry no offense).And some of Lyra's dialogue here at the end didn't make any sense, I didn't understood what was her plan with Iron Will