• Member Since 14th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen November 1st

Feo Takahari


Mainly an editor. Currently working for Rakni.

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Source

As centuries pass, monuments crumble and legends distort, so Princess Celestia gives each of Equestria's greatest champions one chance to set the record straight. She allows them to choose a single memory, and she stores it in a magical crystal in an annex of the Canterlot archives, viewable by anypony who wishes to learn of past heroes.

To honor her many years of heroism, Pinkie Pie has earned the right to store a memory. But which of her memories is most important?

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 7 )

Well, this was interesting. It certainly had an interesting premise, although I admit I have seen this idea before.

The Good:

- Pacing was pretty good, word selection and punctuation solid
- No noticeable grammar issues
- Fresh idea and premise

The Bad:

- Confusing switches between characters and jumbled syntax in places
- Limited sense of timeframe eg. After Discord? After ascension? Future? Just would have helpful to establish things clearer

However, I do realise that this is a short story and as such it holds up rather well! If I had any advice to give I would simply say that practice makes perfect, and I will look forward to future stories written by you. Keep at it!

:fluttercry: It was so beautiful... AJ's memory made me cry on the inside.

Needs expansion and format restructuring.

This one makes cry, good cry!

This deserves more upvotes and faves...have one more of each.

Beautiful. Absolutely beautiful.

Favourited and upvoted, hope to see more of this sort of thing!

This is too beautiful.

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