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1. Dismissed1,266 words
2. Night1,333 words
3. Hearth's Warming1,184 words

3. Hearth's Warming

I awoke to the sound of heavy snoring. When I opened my eyes, it suddenly stopped. Glancing around from my vantage point in the bed, I could see no source of sound in the room. My eyelids fell, and I kicked myself to try and stay awake.

Once again, I awoke to the same sound. Was I really going to have this much trouble finding it? My eyes involuntarily closed again, and then I heard it. It was a beastly rumbling, and I nearly shook as I heard it. The worst part was, it was coming from me.

Celestia, did I really snore that loud?!

Too awake to fall back to sleep, I eased myself out of bed. My hind legs, I noticed, were sore from fighting Twilight's food yesterday. I gave them a good stretch, but for the most part, hovered out of my room. Almost instantly, I spotted Princess Celestia carrying a pot towards what I assumed was the dining hall.

"Good morning, your Highness," I nodded, in a thick, groggy voice.

"So you're the Royal Guard that stayed," she observed.

"Um--Yes, your Highness." Oh, good. Somepony who got the memo.

"Do your duty," she said, and I bowed and trotted past her.

Not far from there, I found myself face-to-face with Luna again, the only other Princess that I hadn't made myself look like a fool in front of. I greeted her.

"Good morning, your--Whoa!"

Well, that didn't go so well. Somepony, and I don't know who, had shined the floor yesterday, and when I bowed, I ended up face-first on the squeaky-clean tiles. Ouch.

Now sporting a bruised muzzle and sore legs, I hurried past her, trying not to look like a practical joker. "Happy Hearth's Warming, your Honor."

Up ahead were Twilight Sparkle and Shining Armor, with Cadence not far from them. Shining Armor gave me a nod.

"Good morning, Captain sir," I said, then saw that Twilight wanted to speak.

"Thank you for...handling the food last night."

"Ma'am, I was only doing my duty," I blushed.

On passing Cadence. I said: "Thank you. For the room, that is."

"You can come to breakfast, if you'd like," she said.

"Mm. Ah. Th-thank you, but n-no thanks." I didn't expect the conversation to last any longer than it had.

"Are you sure? I'm not sure I've seen you eat since you came here yesterday."

My stomach made a hungry, garbled noise. I panicked. I didn't want to embarrass myself more, but I didn't want to starve to death either. There was another loud noise.

In the end, I relented. When I entered the banquet hall, Princess Luna raised an eyebrow. Celestia looked a tad befuddled. Shining Armor and Twilight seemed to be fine with it. I quickly sat down.

The food. Oh, Celestia, the food! After having hardly anything to eat besides Twilight's unbelievable (unbelievably bad) concoction, the mashed potatoes were like having little foal's choirs sing to me while I lay on a soft bed of clouds. (I know what the second part is like. I'm not quite sure yet how good the foal's choir thing would be.)

I ended up excusing myself early. It wasn't because I wanted to get back on the job. Oh, no. It was another embarrassing event.

I felt a carrot in my windpipe suddenly. I was pretty sure I had swallowed it wrong, and my face was already blue. Then, with a glow of somepony's horn, I could breathe. Cadence came through for me, thank the stars.

On the other hand, the carrot mash that came out landed on the face of Princess Celestia. Or it would have, had Shining Armor not been leaning over the table for some potatoes. And holding a napkin with one hoof.

Wait, was I getting luckier?

The surprisingly uneventful aftermath did have a 'Watch who you're choking on," but it was a lot better than I expected. It was half past one, and the royalty was in a large room that couldn't quite be called a bedroom or a lounge. Princess Twilight was reading How the Nasty Bad Green Pony Stole Hearth's Warming aloud.

"And now I will stuff up the tree..." Hey, that brings back memories. I have to admit, I was getting a little homesick.

I sort of almost wished I was at home, but on the other hand, it was hard to imagine myself as I was now sitting in my mother's lap, having her read to me. I took a seat in the middle of the hallway. Something started vibrating.

I thought it might have been myself doing something that would come off as embarrassing, but when I looked down, I wasn't doing anything. I pressed an ear to the ground and kept it there intently for a couple of seconds.

"Is something wrong?" Princess Cadence asked.

I stiffened and turned. Just then, there was a clank. "U-um, excuse me, your Highness."

It was coming from none other than the oven of Princess Twilight, or at least, the remains of the oven. I scrutinized what had apparently burst its way out.

A pie?

"BAH!" The pie yelled. Wait, pies aren't supposed to do that!

Just what did you cook up this time, Twilight? I wondered. It was small, but two flaps of crust formed some kind of crooked mouth. It had yellow and orange spots dotting it, making it appear as if it was breaking out in hives. But it had a lot worse than the cutie pox.

I stamped a hoof at it, and the pie jumped away, then leaped for my leg. I pulled it out of the way, falling against the doorframe. The pie had run into a table, but when its jaws began moving, it ceased to exist. I began to get antsy and ran. I flew past Cadence once again, through the hall I was in seconds ago, and, holding out a table leg, hovered just outside the window.

The freak pie mistake thing lunged for the table leg--or was it my leg? I pulled both out of the way. Seconds later, I heard a thump.

"Take that, freak pie mistake thing!"

Days later, the rest of the guard returned. I tried my best to make sure it looked like I was coming back, too, which wasn't hard because I was already flying back from a trip to the post office. I had mailed a letter to my family, and I was feeling pretty good about Hearth's Warming.

Then a 'cake' fell out the window. One of my fellow guards nudged me. "Hey, does that happen often?"

Feeling like a seasoned soldier, I answered, "Like you wouldn't believe."

Author's Note:

I have some major editing to do. I just found out I've been spelling Cadence wrong the whole time. But, besides that, the last chapter is here! :D

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