• Member Since 16th Nov, 2013
  • offline last seen May 20th, 2014

PegaSisterPrincessLily


I am a freaquent writer and homeschooled.


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This is a story where Rainbowdash get Twilight Sparkle in trouble. Will they ever find Twilight?!

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 18 )
Comment posted by dukesofhazzardftw deleted Nov 19th, 2013
Comment posted by dukesofhazzardftw deleted Nov 19th, 2013
Comment posted by KHORNE FLAKES deleted Nov 20th, 2013

I really only look at these for the comments.

Comment posted by Silver Starlight deleted Nov 20th, 2013
Comment posted by moviemaster8510 deleted Nov 26th, 2013
Comment posted by Vast Data deleted Nov 20th, 2013
Comment posted by Mayhem Darkshadow deleted Nov 22nd, 2013
Comment posted by Thaums deleted Nov 23rd, 2013
Comment posted by dukesofhazzardftw deleted Nov 24th, 2013

Interesting. o.o I actually like it. You did a fantastic job keeping Twilight and Rainbowdash in character, and I like Princess Lilly. She isn't majorly mary-sure, and seems just like an alicorn should. o.o I also like the idea that she is from an "old mares tale."

I think your grammar could use a little work. ^^ Make sure too end your sentences in periods, and keep indenting every time someone new talks. Check your spelling too. Other then that, it's pretty good. o.o I'm actually really looking forward too what's going to happen next. ^^ Well done.

Oh my. This is just fantastic. It's like I'm seeing a Google Transliteration into English. Was this made using uncalibrated Dragon Speech software, or something? I can sincerely say I have no idea what direction this story will take.

Comment posted by Starlight Shadow deleted Jan 24th, 2014

Spelling. You need to work on your spelling and grammar. Try hiring an editor, it'll do you loads of good.

Comment posted by Merchent343 deleted Mar 2nd, 2014
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