Twilight Sparkle is having reoccurring nightmares. Then after some strange things happen one night, Twilight is called up to Canterlot by the Princess for a special assignment.
Chapters (8)
Schaechterle25
Joined 6th Mar, 2012 ·
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This has caught my attention and i would like to see where this goes; by the way, nice subtle reference to Wilson from Castaway.
Let see how this plays out
Well, this is a very good start to your pony writing career. The pacing of the opening kill was perfect for a good slasher film, and the characters are all reasonably in character, so far. Keep up the good work.
Well, the descriptions are nice, the pacing is good, and everypony seems in character, although I have no idea why Pinkie is talkinglikethis. Overall, I good set-up, but then, I'm a sucker for a good werewolf story.
347754 Thank you.
349768 She's just talking really fast and not taking a breath inbetween words. I'll try to make that more clear next time. Glad you enjoyed it
I just realized what the death scene reminded me of; the death of Dennis Nedry in the Jurassic Park book and movie combined. The misinterpretation of the creatures behavior, the sensory descriptions, the final thoughts, all a really good tribute to those scenes. I love Micheal Crichton, and anyone who approximates his style is A-OK in my book.
351724 I'm surprised that you caught that, you deserve all my cookies. He's one of my favorite authors.
The mystery deepens...
I think Twilight has been caught up in.... The Howling.
(Duh Dah Dun!!!!!!)
A cookie to all who get the reference, as obscurus as it is. (Hint given)
Is Twilight the werewolf? Or is something else going on?
The mystery deepens...
Mui bien
Interesting that with insanity and headache. was it an Amnesia Reference? Anyway good chapter
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"In The Darkness Forever Watching"
Lunar Justice
Certainly interesting - Tracking and a thumbs up.
Very thrilling story... please continue the story soon, cant wait to read more <3
I love this....me being the werewolf fan that I am...
so all I can do is squee and wait for a new chapter
Yay a nice birthday gift!
Just noticed one mistake you used hear insted of here a couple of times...
734927Consider it a birthday gift. I will fix that right away, thanks.
Shit just got reeaaaaal... Sorry I had to.
Oooh This was an exciting chapter. Does that mean the next on won't be very exciting?
740394 Oh but it did just get real, and things will only get more real.
740956 Actually, I would've never realized that I did that unless you pointed it out.
YIKES. Real nice horror there.
And who do we have here? Nightmare Moon or someone else?
Ho jeez! Dis just got REAL!!!!!!!
WOW!!! It's been quite sometime since the last time I updated. Sorry about that, personal things happen, distractions are met. But don't worry, I will be updating more often (I hope)
Hope you all enjoy. Remember to give me some feedback in this here section, I like your comments.
Enjoy
IT UPDATED!!!!!!!!!!!!!! YAY I'M SO HAPPY!!!!!!!!!
*this user has suffered a heart attack of squee*
Finally a new update :)
Thank you, I've already given up hope^^
Very good /well written chapter by the way!
I'm glad you didn't abandon this story and
I hope this wasn't the last chapter.
Greetz In5an1ty
Hey everyone! I'm Talix, the new proofreader for this story. I'm glad you're enjoying it.
And In5an1ty, I can assure you there's more to come
1537544 I'M SO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE HAPPY!!!!
1544318 One must never give up hope good sir. I'm glad you enjoyed it. More to come soon.
2065818 I'm so sorry. I ran into a problem. Don't worry though, it's coming soon.
The idea is intriguing, but I've found a few problems...
He'd always wanted a gender since he was a filly. (Filly normally means girl foal, colt is male)
This entire paragraph has every sentence starting with "She". She, she, she. It doesn't even seem like a word any more. Try not to start any two sentences in a paragraph with the same word.
The beggar's death in the beginning probably would have worked better in a movie instead of a fic, but it still worked pretty well. Have a Twist.
Keep working on your skills! As I said, this is a good idea that could be worked on more.
I don't like the 'thar' and 'ey' in Applejack's accent. Its a bit exaggerated. Also, the fact that Pinkie's words are squished together.
Other than that, awesome!
Welcome back to the world of living. You missed so many things while you were ded.
Here is a short summary of last weeks
Anyway, don't die again. This story looks like it has a unique potential
I just have to ask.
Why Moonmist?
You better keep that promise, or else I will send Pinkie on you.
Also congrats on the feature!
do more, please don't leave this great fiction alone, its lonely without your warm and tender hands.
Hmmm, all the problems with it are already said in the comments!
Good story, I'm always a sucker for supernatural and dystopian(not talking about your fanfiction) stories.
4038846 Thank you for the advice. It is much appreciated.
4039300 Guess I have a lot of catching up to do then. I've missed so much.
4039401 Because it was the only thing I had at the time, otherwise it would of been a very crude MS Paint drawing.
4039659 Oh don't worry. It will be kept.
4040791 No worries, more will be coming shortly.
4040870 I am glad that you are enjoying it so far.
4041268 Yay, I cant wait, this story has so much potential after what you have put, even the chapters what have already been posted are amazing.
Did they just drop down into a dark tunnel, where nobody can find them, while investigating murders, after Twilight has already been attacked by a beast from an underground tunnel?
cdn.sosogay.co.uk/wp-content/uploads/2013/12/oh-for-fucks-sake.jpg
Well, somebody is Genre Blind...
wow, this story is really exciting so far.
This is good for a first fic.
soo after i reading this the story just dead? or the writer just retired?
This would be less confusing if you put it in an Author's Note box. Hell just putting (AN) above it would be a little less confusing. I spent a whole like two seconds trying to decide who was saying that and then I realized it was an Author Note. One more thing, maybe put some spaces in Pinkie's speech during normal conversation. It is hard to decipher what she is saying, and it didn't feel like something she should feel really energetic about.
The only other criticism I have us when you said that was the first homicide in over a millennia. There are always people who are insane, feel like a sort of vigilante, or just don't care.
But I'll still read through. It is still promising as a story.
Is there a possibility that this story will be finished?